The worst analogies ever written in a high school essay - GoFuckYourself.com

Snake Doctor · 09-08-2006, 08:04 PM

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

~Ray · 09-08-2006, 08:06 PM

"He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree."

Ace_luffy · 09-08-2006, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AdvertisingSex

"He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree."

..............................

Violetta · 09-08-2006, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lenny2

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

Damian_Maxcash · 09-08-2006, 08:36 PM

WTF?

Yet again I am left clinging to my sanity....

GatorB · 09-08-2006, 08:41 PM

"Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center. "

Well when you put it that way I really get what the author is trying to convey.

Damian_Maxcash · 09-08-2006, 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GatorB

"Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center. "

Well when you put it that way I really get what the author is trying to convey.

Not as good as "The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can."

msan · 09-08-2006, 10:34 PM

Hahaha I don't know what to say. I'm dumbfounded.

woj · 09-08-2006, 10:41 PM

good shit

Samir Nagheenanajar · 09-08-2006, 10:44 PM

Will you be as big of an asshole as JimTheFriend was? If not I will stop reading your posts and quit promoting epic cash..

notabook · 09-08-2006, 11:21 PM

?From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.?

That?s the perfect analogy, I don?t care what you communist bastards think.

XLCowBoy · 09-08-2006, 11:51 PM

[qoute]Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. [/quote]

How romantic

09-08-2006, 08:04 PM	#1
Snake Doctor I'm Lenny2 Bitch Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: On top of my soapbox Posts: 13,449	The worst analogies ever written in a high school essay They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30. Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center. Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease. Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man." Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph. The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free. __________________ sig too big

09-08-2006, 08:06 PM	#2
~Ray visit hardlinks.org Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Las Vegas , Nv >>> [email protected] or icq 94994627 anytime Posts: 18,362	"He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree." __________________ Adult Backlinks for Adult Websites - Testimonials Available

09-08-2006, 10:34 PM	#8
msan Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 1,336	Hahaha I don't know what to say. I'm dumbfounded. __________________ CUSTOM TOONS, BLOG THEMES and DESIGNS \| toonyshack AT gmail.com

09-08-2006, 10:41 PM	#9
woj <&(©¿©)&> Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 47,882	good shit __________________ Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000 Affiliate program tools: Hosted Galleries Manager Banner Manager Video Manager Wordpress Affiliate Plugin Pic/Movie of the Day Fansign Generator Zip Manager

09-08-2006, 11:21 PM	#11
notabook Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Not a Library! Posts: 9,748	?From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.? That?s the perfect analogy, I don?t care what you communist bastards think. __________________

09-08-2006, 08:36 PM	#5
Damian_Maxcash So Fucking Banned Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: MaxCash.com Posts: 12,745	WTF? Yet again I am left clinging to my sanity....

09-08-2006, 08:41 PM	#6
GatorB The Demon & 12clicks Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: SallyRand is a FAGGOT Posts: 18,208	"Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center. " Well when you put it that way I really get what the author is trying to convey.

09-08-2006, 10:44 PM	#10
Samir Nagheenanajar So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 481	Will you be as big of an asshole as JimTheFriend was? If not I will stop reading your posts and quit promoting epic cash..

09-08-2006, 11:51 PM	#12
XLCowBoy Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: A few clicks south of the equator, where it's either only bleedin' hot, or fuckin' wet Posts: 160	[qoute]Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze. [/quote] How romantic __________________ www.pixel-kitchen.com Expert Webdesign Flash PHP Programming VB.NET