The Greatest Random Story Ever Told or How Ice Spent His 20k Post - GoFuckYourself.com

notabook · 10-04-2006, 09:46 PM

Approximately 17,000 years ago an alien species known as the Geleil first visited a small blue sphere in the Sol solar system of the Milky Way Galaxy. Their intentions were fairly unknown; did they go merely want to visit this strange world full of life of all variance out of curiosity, or were their intentions more devious in nature? Did they want to help nurture the planet and help its species grow, or did they want the planet for themselves? Whatever their intentions may have been they seemed to have a keen interest in the sphere as they made many visits to the pale blue dot over the years and it appears that their interest continues to grow.

None of this of course matters because this isn?t a story about the Geleil. This is a story about a guy named Tommy and his want? neigh, need to fit in with his fellow peers. Tommy wanted nothing more than to fit in with his peers and he attempted to do so by dressing up in preppy clothes and fancy hats but nothing he did managed to appease his peers. They constantly avoided Tommy and wanted nothing to do with him? even after all of his work Tommy just could not fit in. You see, this is because Tommy was a flea and he was trying to impress a group of humans and humans hate fleas, especially talking ones.

Tommy had a dream and he was willing to give it his all to obtain it. Tommy used his power of instantaneous taco-creation to finally gain the hearts (and stomachs) of the general populous. As he created more and more tacos he won over many friends and potential allies. Tommy kept feeding his tacos to all of those who wished to eat them until nearly the entire population loved and revered Tommy the flea and they even went as far as to worship him as the eighth wonder of the world. Suddenly though people around the world started to get sick and die by the thousands? they begged their idol for help and he merely looked down upon them with an oh-so-evil grin.

You see, Tommy?s tacos were poisonous to humans and all of them who had been gorging themselves on his creations were slowly being killed. Soon the entire planet was almost devoid of human life, the last few that hadn?t died yet asked Tommy why he did such a devious and heartless thing. Tommy responded to them, laughing the entire time: Because I?m an asshole. Then the last few humans threw up bloody chunks everywhere and shit a horrible torrent of steaming hot diarrhea all over the place as they died a horrible painful death from Tommy?s poisonous tacos.

Moral of the story: Don?t trust talking fleas that have the power to magically manifest tacos right before your eyes as they will most likely be poisoned because talking fleas, especially ones named Tommy, are assholes.

BusterBunny · 10-04-2006, 09:49 PM

a.l.f. hasn't tracked you down yet?

poisson · 10-04-2006, 09:49 PM

ahahahah man you should realy get one of those cloths for that.

Business talking,,,, i'll give you 50$ up front for ytour next book.

xclusive · 10-04-2006, 09:50 PM

wow that read like a good book

notabook · 10-04-2006, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BusterBunny

a.l.f. hasn't tracked you down yet?

Not yet thankfully, I'm ready for them when they come though. I have sixteen cat hostages, should give me plenty of time to make my escape!

reynold · 10-04-2006, 10:47 PM

Now I'm inspired to make something like that one too.

notabook · 10-05-2006, 12:51 AM

Speaking of totally randomness, does anybody know wtf this toy robot is called?

I've tried to find out for nearly a decade and I'm no closer to finding out what it was now than when I first started asking about the god damn thing.

dissipate · 10-05-2006, 01:52 AM

Ok this post gets an A for effort.

Shankz · 10-05-2006, 08:07 AM

Sick... but funny as hell! lol

Axzar · 10-05-2006, 08:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notabook

Speaking of totally randomness, does anybody know wtf this toy robot is called?

I've tried to find out for nearly a decade and I'm no closer to finding out what it was now than when I first started asking about the god damn thing.

Post those pics on an eBay forum or Auctionbytes.com I bet you will find out soon.

notabook · 10-05-2006, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Axzar

Post those pics on an eBay forum or Auctionbytes.com I bet you will find out soon.

Thanks for the suggestion! I did try that about a year or two ago to no avail. I also contacted Tyco (maker) as well as top toy collectors, none of them could tell me wtf it is was grrrrrr

I even got a 1993 (toys date) Tyco catalog and it wasn't in there so I dunno where the hell this thing came from other than where I bought it and the person I bought it from had no idea what it was either.

10-04-2006, 09:46 PM	#1
notabook Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Not a Library! Posts: 9,748	The Greatest Random Story Ever Told or How Ice Spent His 20k Post Approximately 17,000 years ago an alien species known as the Geleil first visited a small blue sphere in the Sol solar system of the Milky Way Galaxy. Their intentions were fairly unknown; did they go merely want to visit this strange world full of life of all variance out of curiosity, or were their intentions more devious in nature? Did they want to help nurture the planet and help its species grow, or did they want the planet for themselves? Whatever their intentions may have been they seemed to have a keen interest in the sphere as they made many visits to the pale blue dot over the years and it appears that their interest continues to grow. None of this of course matters because this isn?t a story about the Geleil. This is a story about a guy named Tommy and his want? neigh, need to fit in with his fellow peers. Tommy wanted nothing more than to fit in with his peers and he attempted to do so by dressing up in preppy clothes and fancy hats but nothing he did managed to appease his peers. They constantly avoided Tommy and wanted nothing to do with him? even after all of his work Tommy just could not fit in. You see, this is because Tommy was a flea and he was trying to impress a group of humans and humans hate fleas, especially talking ones. Tommy had a dream and he was willing to give it his all to obtain it. Tommy used his power of instantaneous taco-creation to finally gain the hearts (and stomachs) of the general populous. As he created more and more tacos he won over many friends and potential allies. Tommy kept feeding his tacos to all of those who wished to eat them until nearly the entire population loved and revered Tommy the flea and they even went as far as to worship him as the eighth wonder of the world. Suddenly though people around the world started to get sick and die by the thousands? they begged their idol for help and he merely looked down upon them with an oh-so-evil grin. You see, Tommy?s tacos were poisonous to humans and all of them who had been gorging themselves on his creations were slowly being killed. Soon the entire planet was almost devoid of human life, the last few that hadn?t died yet asked Tommy why he did such a devious and heartless thing. Tommy responded to them, laughing the entire time: Because I?m an asshole. Then the last few humans threw up bloody chunks everywhere and shit a horrible torrent of steaming hot diarrhea all over the place as they died a horrible painful death from Tommy?s poisonous tacos. Moral of the story: Don?t trust talking fleas that have the power to magically manifest tacos right before your eyes as they will most likely be poisoned because talking fleas, especially ones named Tommy, are assholes. __________________

10-04-2006, 09:49 PM	#2
BusterBunny perverted justice decoy Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: unborn still in the womb connected via blackberry Posts: 19,291	a.l.f. hasn't tracked you down yet? __________________ my sig caught gonoherpasyphilaids and died

10-04-2006, 09:49 PM	#3
poisson Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Sea Posts: 6,474	ahahahah man you should realy get one of those cloths for that. Business talking,,,, i'll give you 50$ up front for ytour next book. __________________

10-05-2006, 12:51 AM	#7
notabook Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Not a Library! Posts: 9,748	Speaking of totally randomness, does anybody know wtf this toy robot is called? I've tried to find out for nearly a decade and I'm no closer to finding out what it was now than when I first started asking about the god damn thing. __________________

10-04-2006, 09:50 PM	#4
xclusive Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Buffalo, NY Posts: 35,218	wow that read like a good book

10-04-2006, 10:47 PM	#6
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	Now I'm inspired to make something like that one too.

10-05-2006, 01:52 AM	#8
dissipate The Dirty Frenchman Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Lost Angeles Posts: 8,904	Ok this post gets an A for effort.

10-05-2006, 08:07 AM	#9
Shankz Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 275	Sick... but funny as hell! lol