How to survive a plane crash - GoFuckYourself.com

polish_aristocrat · 11-28-2006, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Admit it: You want to be the sole survivor of an airline disaster. You aren't looking for a disaster to happen, but if it does, you see yourself coming through it. I'm here to tell you that you're not out of touch with reality?you can do it. Sure, you'll take a few hits, and I'm not saying there won't be some sweaty flashbacks later on, but you'll make it. You'll sit up in your hospital bed and meet the press. Refreshingly, you will keep God out of your public comments, knowing that it's unfair to sing His praises when all of your dead fellow-passengers have no platform from which to offer an alternative view.

Let's say your jet blows apart at 35,000 feet. You exit the aircraft, and you begin to descend independently. Now what?
First of all, you're starting off a full mile higher than Everest, so after a few gulps of disappointing air you're going to black out. This is not a bad thing. If you have ever tried to keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, you know what I mean. This brief respite from the ambient fear and chaos will come to an end when you wake up at about 15,000 feet. Here begins the final phase of your descent, which will last about a minute. It is a time of planning and preparation. Look around you. What equipment is available? None? Are you sure? Look carefully. Perhaps a shipment of folded parachutes was in the cargo hold, and the blast opened the box and scattered them. One of these just might be within reach. Grab it, put it on, and hit the silk. You're sitting pretty.

Other items can be helpful as well. Let nature be your guide. See how yon maple seed gently wafts to earth on gossamer wings. Look around for a proportionate personal vehicle?some large, flat, aerodynamically suitable piece of wreckage. Mount it and ride, cowboy! Remember: molecules are your friends. You want a bunch of surface-area molecules hitting a bunch of atmospheric molecules in order to reduce your rate of acceleration.
As you fall, you're going to realize that your previous visualization of this experience has been off the mark. You have seen yourself as a loose, free body, and you've imagined yourself in the belly-down, limbs-out position (good: you remembered the molecules). But, pray tell, who unstrapped your seat belt? You could very well be riding your seat (or it could be riding you; if so, straighten up and fly right!); you might still be connected to an entire row of seats or to a row and some of the attached cabin structure.

If thus connected, you have some questions to address. Is your new conveyance air-worthy? If your entire row is intact and the seats are occupied, is the passenger next to you now going to feel free to break the code of silence your body language enjoined upon him at takeoff? If you choose to go it alone, simply unclasp your seat belt and drift free. Resist the common impulse to use the wreckage fragment as a "jumping-off point" to reduce your plunge-rate, not because you will thereby worsen the chances of those you leave behind (who are they kidding? they're goners!), but just because the effect of your puny jump is so small compared with the alarming Newtonian forces at work.

Just how fast are you going? Imagine standing atop a train going 120 mph, and the train goes through a tunnel but you do not. You hit the wall above the opening at 120 mph. That's how fast you will be going at the end of your fall. Yes, it's discouraging, but proper planning requires that you know the facts. You're used to seeing things fall more slowly. You're used to a jump from a swing or a jungle gym, or a fall from a three-story building on TV action news. Those folks are not going 120 mph. They will not bounce. You will bounce. Your body will be found some distance away from the dent you make in the soil (or crack in the concrete). Make no mistake: you will be motoring.

At this point you will think: trees. It's a reasonable thought. The concept of "breaking the fall" is powerful, as is the hopeful message implicit in the nursery song "Rock-a-bye, Baby," which one must assume from the affect of the average singer tells the story not of a baby's death but of its survival. You will want a tall tree with an excurrent growth pattern?a single, undivided trunk with lateral branches, delicate on top and thicker as you cascade downward. A conifer is best. The redwood is attractive for the way it rises to shorten your fall, but a word of caution here: the redwood's lowest branches grow dangerously high from the ground; having gone 35,000 feet, you don't want the last 50 feet to ruin everything. The perfectly tiered Norfolk Island pine is a natural safety net, so if you're near New Zealand, you're in luck, pilgrim. When crunch time comes, elongate your body and hit the tree limbs at a perfectly flat angle as close to the trunk as possible. Think!

Snow is good?soft, deep, drifted snow. Snow is lovely. Remember that you are the pilot and your body is the aircraft. By tilting forward and putting your hands at your side, you can modify your pitch and make progress not just vertically but horizontally as well. As you go down 15,000 feet, you can also go sideways two-thirds of that distance?that's two miles! Choose your landing zone. You be the boss.
If your search discloses no trees or snow, the parachutist's "five-point landing" is useful to remember even in the absence of a parachute. Meet the ground with your feet together, and fall sideways in such a way that five parts of your body successively absorb the shock, equally and in this order: feet, calf, thigh, buttock, and shoulder. 120 divided by 5 = 24. Not bad! 24 mph is only a bit faster than the speed at which experienced parachutists land. There will be some bruising and breakage but no loss of consciousness to delay your press conference. Just be sure to apportion the 120-mph blow in equal fifths. Concentrate!

Much will depend on your attitude. Don't let negative thinking ruin your descent. If you find yourself dwelling morbidly on your discouraging starting point of seven miles up, think of this: Thirty feet is the cutoff for fatality in a fall. That is, most who fall from thirty feet or higher die. Thirty feet! It's nothing! Pity the poor sod who falls from such a "height." What kind of planning time does he have?
Think of the pluses in your situation. For example, although you fall faster and faster for the first fifteen seconds or so, you soon reach "terminal velocity"?the point at which atmospheric drag resists gravity's acceleration in a perfect standoff. Not only do you stop speeding up, but because the air is thickening as you fall, you actually begin to slow down. With every foot that you drop, you are going slower and slower.
There's more. When parachutists focus on a landing zone, sometimes they become so fascinated with it that they forget to pull the ripcord. Since you probably have no ripcord, "target fixation" poses no danger. Count your blessings.

Think of others who have gone before you. Think of Vesna Vulovic, a flight attendant who in 1972 fell 33,000 feet in the tail of an exploded DC-9 jetliner; she landed in snow and lived. Vesna knew about molecules.
Think of Joe Hermann of the Royal Australian Air Force, blown out of his bomber in 1944 without a parachute. He found himself falling through the night sky amid airplane debris and wildly grabbed a piece of it. It turned out to be not debris at all, but rather a fellow flyer in the process of pulling his ripcord. Joe hung on and, as a courtesy, hit the ground first, breaking the fall of his savior and a mere two ribs of his own. Joe was not a quitter. Don't you be.
Think of Nick Alkemade, an RAF tailgunner who jumped from his flaming turret without a parachute and fell 18,000 feet. When he came to and saw stars overhead, he lit a cigarette. He would later describe the fall as "a pleasant experience." Nick's trick: fir trees, underbrush, and snow.

more articles

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http://www.webmd.com/content/Article/109/109343.htm

AssPirate · 11-28-2006, 10:34 AM

Thank you, this makes things all the more better.

Pleasurepays · 11-28-2006, 10:48 AM

great writing!!

Phoenix · 11-28-2006, 10:55 AM

i like his positive approach to things

Furious_Female · 11-28-2006, 11:00 AM

Wow... umm lol Frightening to even imagine.

HeadPimp · 11-28-2006, 11:04 AM

I do believe that if you plane is pulling a lawn dart imitation that it is better to bail out sans 'chute than to stay in your seat. Terminal velocity is what it is, but at least you will hit the ground alone, not surrounded by tons of metal and jet fuel. At the least you will leave a better looking body and a quandry for the crash invesitgators. heh..

woj · 11-28-2006, 12:03 PM

good stuff

Violetta · 11-28-2006, 12:18 PM

hmm... too long read(Im tired), but have too bookmark. I find stuff like these very interesting

polish_aristocrat · 11-28-2006, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rockatansky

hmm... too long read(Im tired), but have too bookmark. I find stuff like these very interesting

Ok, i'm waiting for your analysis tommorow ;-)

quantum-x · 11-28-2006, 04:41 PM

Quote:

Think of Nick Alkemade, an RAF tailgunner who jumped from his flaming turret without a parachute and fell 18,000 feet. When he came to and saw stars overhead, he lit a cigarette. He would later describe the fall as "a pleasant experience." Nick's trick: fir trees, underbrush, and snow.

A real trooper would light up on the way down.

jmk · 11-28-2006, 05:14 PM

awesome read!!!!

thebossxxx · 11-28-2006, 05:18 PM

Hopefully i'll never have to use this info..

Matt 26z · 11-28-2006, 05:31 PM

I wonder if any airline would let you board wearing a parachute?

E$_manager · 11-28-2006, 05:49 PM

Hope i wouldn't need it

Kimo · 11-28-2006, 05:49 PM

time line....

Aquarius · 11-28-2006, 05:51 PM

That's great.

marketsmart · 11-28-2006, 05:52 PM

reading now...

rounders · 11-28-2006, 05:54 PM

wow pretyy interesting

jmk · 11-28-2006, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matt 26z

I wonder if any airline would let you board wearing a parachute?

good point!

sniperwolf · 11-28-2006, 06:42 PM

a long read... but a nice find mate.. thank you for sharing

rodney25 · 11-29-2006, 08:06 AM

Well written.

SmokeyTheBear · 11-29-2006, 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matt 26z

I wonder if any airline would let you board wearing a parachute?

i dont see why not. could be an interesting business...

You could rent them in airports , pick them up on the other end..

bobby666 · 11-29-2006, 10:06 AM

LOL "positive thinking" in that situation !

jscott · 11-29-2006, 10:09 AM

i'm flying in 5 hours, now i'm fucking scared!

SleazyDream · 11-29-2006, 10:16 AM

why couldn't one bring a parachute as carry on luggage? doesn't have to be a huge one - not doing any fancy stuff here - just bare min that will keep one alive

DjSap · 11-29-2006, 12:05 PM

after seeing all episodes of lost i am confident i could survive a plane crash...

Monk · 11-29-2006, 12:40 PM

If you find this information 'useful', you may want to check out "The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook
http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0811...07#reader-link

such topics as;
How to Defend a Shark Attack
How to Survive an Avalanche
How to Survive When Lost in the Desert
etc
etc

carol.prime · 11-29-2006, 01:46 PM

looks factual, thanks for sharing

D · 11-29-2006, 02:05 PM

I dig it.

It ain't over until it's over. :-)

SuckOnThis · 11-29-2006, 02:13 PM

How does one light a cigarette in a 120 mph wind?

Good stuff to know but the problem is most airline crashes happen during takeoffs and landings.

germ · 11-29-2006, 02:17 PM

good read. hopefully i never have to put this information to use, though.

MsWild · 11-30-2006, 11:30 PM

great stuff

Brooke Anderson · 11-30-2006, 11:42 PM

Wow that was a cool read! Good find!

tony286 · 11-30-2006, 11:50 PM

I dont think airport security would let you take one on the plane.

DTK · 11-30-2006, 11:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matt 26z

I wonder if any airline would let you board wearing a parachute?

They'd sure as shit get my business

da man · 12-01-2006, 12:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pornopete

5 hours with airport security, two of those hours with a finger up your ass.

polish_aristocrat · 12-16-2006, 07:49 AM

anyone tried it yet?

4Man · 12-16-2006, 11:06 AM

I shall try it.

cool1 · 12-16-2006, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuckOnThis

How does one light a cigarette in a 120 mph wind?

Good stuff to know but the problem is most airline crashes happen during takeoffs and landings.

flip on your back there by blocking the wind just enough to light up.

wyldworx · 12-16-2006, 11:57 AM

Sounds like some really good advice, but i think it could only be used in certain circumstances fitting to the advice

Pleasurepays · 12-16-2006, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wyldworx

Sounds like some really good advice, but i think it could only be used in certain circumstances fitting to the advice

some of you people should be sterilized or shot. really. it would be for the good of all humanity. we, as the population of planet earth, really need to start thinking about protecting the gene pool.

Farang · 12-16-2006, 01:39 PM

good reading , thanks

J. Falcon · 12-16-2006, 02:10 PM

Thanks anyway

reynold · 12-17-2006, 07:46 PM

Thanks. That might really help.

Screaming · 12-17-2006, 07:57 PM

sounds good..

polish_aristocrat · 06-22-2007, 11:21 PM

http://www.wikihow.com/Survive-a-Plane-Crash

one more article

Rochard · 06-23-2007, 12:08 AM

The best way to survive a plane crash is not get on the fucking plane.

polish_aristocrat · 06-23-2007, 12:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by polish_aristocrat

http://www.wikihow.com/Survive-a-Plane-Crash

one more article

Quote:

The best possible surfaces on which to fall are snow, deep water

another article said that water means actually certain death if you're falling from that high...

I guess there hasn't been enough research on this yet

zeruel · 06-23-2007, 01:38 AM

thats a nice article...

jscott · 06-23-2007, 01:48 AM

I dont like this topic, I wish I could work up the balls to read the articles

11-28-2006, 10:34 AM	#2
AssPirate Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 2,135	Thank you, this makes things all the more better. __________________

11-28-2006, 10:55 AM	#4
Phoenix BACON BACON BACON Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Poems everybody, the laddie fancies himself a poet Posts: 35,457	i like his positive approach to things __________________ Skype Phoenixskype1 Telegram PhoenixBrad https://quantads.io

11-28-2006, 11:00 AM	#5
Furious_Female Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Upstate, New York Posts: 8,187	Wow... umm lol Frightening to even imagine. __________________ Skype: j3nn.com ICQ 160370494 My current favorite high-converting sponsor: CrakRevenue

11-28-2006, 12:03 PM	#7
woj <&(©¿©)&> Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 47,882	good stuff __________________ Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000 Affiliate program tools: Hosted Galleries Manager Banner Manager Video Manager Wordpress Affiliate Plugin Pic/Movie of the Day Fansign Generator Zip Manager

11-28-2006, 12:18 PM	#8
Violetta Affiliate Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 28,735	hmm... too long read(Im tired), but have too bookmark. I find stuff like these very interesting __________________ M&A Queen

11-28-2006, 10:48 AM	#3
Pleasurepays BANNED - SUPPORTING TUBES Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: I live in a pile of boogers Posts: 11,913	great writing!!

11-28-2006, 11:04 AM	#6
HeadPimp Bad Mo-Fo Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Seattle, WA Posts: 2,772	I do believe that if you plane is pulling a lawn dart imitation that it is better to bail out sans 'chute than to stay in your seat. Terminal velocity is what it is, but at least you will hit the ground alone, not surrounded by tons of metal and jet fuel. At the least you will leave a better looking body and a quandry for the crash invesitgators. heh..

11-28-2006, 05:14 PM	#11
jmk Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 5,391	awesome read!!!!

11-28-2006, 05:18 PM	#12
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11-28-2006, 05:31 PM	#13
Matt 26z So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: ¤ª"˜¨๑۩۞۩๑¨˜"ª¤ Posts: 18,481	I wonder if any airline would let you board wearing a parachute?

11-28-2006, 05:49 PM	#14
E$_manager Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: pink adult dreams Posts: 13,557	Hope i wouldn't need it __________________ Enjoy more sales with EnjoyBucks! Homemade: Asian : Ebony : GFs : Voyeur : Nudist : Public : 3D

11-28-2006, 05:49 PM	#15
Kimo ... Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Maryland ICQ:87038677 Posts: 11,542	time line.... __________________ ...

11-28-2006, 05:51 PM	#16
Aquarius Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Mom's basement Posts: 4,754	That's great.

11-28-2006, 05:52 PM	#17
marketsmart HOMICIDAL TROLL KILLER Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Sunnybrook Institution for the Criminally Insane Posts: 20,419	reading now...

11-28-2006, 05:54 PM	#18
rounders Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: p0rn0stars & h0es Posts: 2,931	wow pretyy interesting __________________ ICQ#: 153923840

11-28-2006, 06:42 PM	#20
sniperwolf Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 17,743	a long read... but a nice find mate.. thank you for sharing __________________ ~Accepting design works~

11-29-2006, 08:06 AM	#21
rodney25 Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 7,090	Well written. __________________ AFFORDABLE Hosting -- Extreme Dependability -- FULL Service ICQ ME for DAMN GOOD HOSTING DEALS: 5380773

11-29-2006, 10:06 AM	#23
bobby666 boots are my religion Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Heart of europe Posts: 21,765	LOL "positive thinking" in that situation ! __________________

11-29-2006, 10:09 AM	#24
jscott So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Taipei Posts: 25,198	i'm flying in 5 hours, now i'm fucking scared!

11-29-2006, 10:16 AM	#25
SleazyDream I'm here for SPORT Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phone # (401) 285-0696 Posts: 41,470	why couldn't one bring a parachute as carry on luggage? doesn't have to be a huge one - not doing any fancy stuff here - just bare min that will keep one alive __________________ This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! Now read without the word dog.

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11-29-2006, 12:40 PM	#27
Monk Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Canada Posts: 631	If you find this information 'useful', you may want to check out "The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0811...07#reader-link such topics as; How to Defend a Shark Attack How to Survive an Avalanche How to Survive When Lost in the Desert etc etc

11-29-2006, 01:46 PM	#28
carol.prime Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Manila, Philippines Posts: 6,960	looks factual, thanks for sharing __________________ Prime Outsourcing \| offshore staffing solutions \| manual labor \| employee leasing \| full time employees starting at $695.00/month = managed and dedicated icq.: 309570461 live chat

11-29-2006, 02:05 PM	#29
D Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The Valley Posts: 7,412	I dig it. It ain't over until it's over. :-) __________________ -D. ICQ: 202-96-31

11-29-2006, 02:13 PM	#30
SuckOnThis So Fucking Banned Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: In my head Posts: 6,844	How does one light a cigarette in a 120 mph wind? Good stuff to know but the problem is most airline crashes happen during takeoffs and landings.

11-29-2006, 02:17 PM	#31
germ ( o Y o ) Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 3,108	good read. hopefully i never have to put this information to use, though.

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11-30-2006, 11:50 PM	#34
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	I dont think airport security would let you take one on the plane.

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12-16-2006, 11:06 AM	#38
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12-16-2006, 11:57 AM	#40
wyldworx So Fucking Banned Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: oz-trailer Posts: 5,144	Sounds like some really good advice, but i think it could only be used in certain circumstances fitting to the advice

12-16-2006, 01:39 PM	#42
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