The jewish jokes thread - GoFuckYourself.com

emjay · 06-02-2007, 11:31 AM

OK, i'll start:

Jewish boy to Father : Dad, can I borrow $100?

Father : $80?! What do you need $60 for?

Dirty F · 06-02-2007, 11:37 AM

Where does a jewish guy hide his money from his wife? Under the vacuum cleaner.

emjay · 06-02-2007, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dirty Franck

Where does a jewish guy hide his money from his wife? Under the vacuum cleaner.

psili · 06-02-2007, 11:58 AM

Courtesy of Bash.org:

Quote:

<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao

Michaelious · 06-02-2007, 12:22 PM

What did the Jew say to the bank teller?

I want MORE!

KILL_FRENZY · 06-02-2007, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by emjay

OK, i'll start:

Jewish boy to Father : Dad, can I borrow $100?

Father : $80?! What do you need $60 for?

That's so fucking good

KILL_FRENZY · 06-02-2007, 12:50 PM

Why jewish have a big nose ? Because the air is FREE

k0nr4d · 06-02-2007, 01:25 PM

This was a broadcast message on some IRC network, I don't remember which, i think it was efnet.

-Global- we have opened up 2 new chat chans. For canadians go to #canada , For jews go to #ConcentrationCamp

KRosh · 06-02-2007, 01:28 PM

Why do Jewish people like the game of Football? (American Football that is)

Because the object of the game is to get the Quarter Back

KILL_FRENZY · 06-02-2007, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KRosh

Why do Jewish people like the game of Football? (American Football that is)

Because the object of the game is to get the Quarter Back

Gumballs · 06-02-2007, 02:00 PM

A Jew and an Italian are walking down the street together and talking about life in general, the Italian looks across the street and spots a beautiful blond with massive tits and a perfect ass.

The Italian says to the Jew, Man! I would really love to fuck her.

The Jew says, Out of what?

woj · 06-02-2007, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gumballs

A Jew and an Italian are walking down the street together and talking about life in general, the Italian looks across the street and spots a beautiful blond with massive tits and a perfect ass.

The Italian says to the Jew, Man! I would really love to fuck her.

The Jew says, Out of what?

SexualDragon · 06-02-2007, 02:47 PM

did you hear about the new jewish car?

It stops on a dime.

Then it picks it up.

You Forgot Poland · 06-02-2007, 02:47 PM

xNetworx · 06-02-2007, 04:12 PM

I heard somebody call a cash register a "Jewish Piano" ... that was funny imo

MaDalton · 06-02-2007, 04:48 PM

found this today on a website - i wonder how they figured out the pig is jewish

Damian_Maxcash · 06-02-2007, 05:45 PM

Have you heard about the new German Microwave?

It seats six.....

xxweekxx · 06-03-2007, 10:01 AM

lol.........

notabook · 06-03-2007, 05:56 PM

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when you throw it in the oven.

TBrown · 06-03-2007, 06:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by notabook

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when you throw it in the oven.

that wasn't too good

kmanrox · 06-03-2007, 10:07 PM

you guys don't plan to do any real business in this industry, do yas?

bronco67 · 06-03-2007, 10:33 PM

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister decide to start a new church together as an experiment. They're trying to decide how the money will be handled, and the priest makes the first suggestion...he says " we'll draw a line on the floor, then throw the money into the air. Whatever lands to the right of line, will go to us. Whatever lands on the left side will go to god."

The minister says, "how about we just draw circle? the money that lands outside the circle will go to us. What lands inside will go to god."

the Rabbi says, "Let's just throw the money into the air...whatever God can catch, he can keep."

Adultnet · 06-03-2007, 10:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KRosh

Why do Jewish people like the game of Football? (American Football that is)

Because the object of the game is to get the Quarter Back

lol

...

notabook · 06-03-2007, 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adpayoutbrown

that wasn't too good

What's the difference between a Jew and a gas chamber? A gas chamber has never been inside a Jew.

PostWhore · 06-03-2007, 11:00 PM

Whats a difference between a jew and a canoo?

The Canoo tips!!

calibra · 06-03-2007, 11:11 PM

I like this thread, LOL!

zeruel · 06-03-2007, 11:16 PM

hahaha!!! nice thread!!!

LOL!

emjay · 06-16-2007, 03:28 PM

A totally naked woman jumps into Moish Goldberg's taxi and says, "Take me to Brooklyn."

Moish looks at her and says, "Lady, how are you going to pay for the ride? You're totally naked and don't even have a pocketbook."

The woman points between her legs and says, "How about with this?"

Moish replies, "Lady, ain't you got anything smaller?"

Fap · 06-16-2007, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KRosh

Why do Jewish people like the game of Football? (American Football that is)

Because the object of the game is to get the Quarter Back

Vick! · 06-16-2007, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by psili

Courtesy of Bash.org:

<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next hitler
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao

This is so fucking wrong

urbanpimp · 06-16-2007, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kmanrox

you guys don't plan to do any real business in this industry, do yas?

hahahahahhahaa

emjay · 06-16-2007, 03:50 PM

Three Texans are sitting together on an airplane. Two are hardy, tall men wearing cowboy boots and 10 gallon hats. The third is a little old Jewish man wearing a yalmuke, short pants, and high black sox with sandles.

The first Texan says: My name is Roger, I have 2000 acres and 3,000 head of cattle. I call my place "The Jolly Roger."

The second Texan says: My name is Gene. I own 5.000 acres and 5,000 head. I call my place "Gene's Ranch Estate."

The little old Jewish man says: I own 200 acres and got no cattle.

And what do you call your place says Roger sarcastically.

Downtown Dallas says the old Jewish man.

fluffygrrl · 06-16-2007, 05:08 PM

1940, Aaron and Ariel are convicted by the nazis to death by firing squad. While they're waiting for the squad to assemble, one of those funny tricycles comes in a cloud of dust. The sentence was comuted to death by hanging.

Ariel : See ? Their days are numbered, already running out of bullets.

Mutt · 06-16-2007, 05:12 PM

isn't Lensman Jewish? you guys are tards.

emjay · 06-17-2007, 02:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mutt

isn't Lensman Jewish? you guys are tards.

Sorry I am a Brit, not quite sure what a tard is. Please ellaborate...

Being married to a jewish princess, I have been to Isreal on several occasions.

Once thing that struck me, particularly after having lived in Germany for over ten years, is the Jewish people's capacity not to take themseleves too seriously.

Whilst some of the jokes posted here might be "below the mark" and have antisementic undertones, from my experience the greatest fans of Jewish jokes are Jews themselves.

GatorB · 06-17-2007, 02:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by emjay

Sorry I am a Brit, not quite sure what a tard is. Please ellaborate...

tard=retard

noone1 · 06-17-2007, 04:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by emjay

Sorry I am a Brit, not quite sure what a tard is. Please ellaborate...

Being married to a jewish princess, I have been to Isreal on several occasions.

Once thing that struck me, particularly after having lived in Germany for over ten years, is the Jewish people's capacity not to take themseleves too seriously.

Whilst some of the jokes posted here might be "below the mark" and have antisementic undertones, from my experience the greatest fans of Jewish jokes are Jews themselves.

Yes, we are the greatest fans of them.

06-02-2007, 11:31 AM	#1
emjay Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Back in Blighty Posts: 4,277	The jewish jokes thread OK, i'll start: Jewish boy to Father : Dad, can I borrow $100? Father : $80?! What do you need $60 for? __________________ I Run 500+ WhatsApp Groups. The Zuck Owns Me www.emjayconsultancy.com

06-02-2007, 12:22 PM	#5
Michaelious Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Scotland Posts: 6,720	What did the Jew say to the bank teller? I want MORE! __________________

06-02-2007, 12:50 PM	#7
KILL_FRENZY Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 6,184	Why jewish have a big nose ? Because the air is FREE __________________ BOOST YOUR SALES! WordPress Templates \| Joomla Templates \| TGP Templates \| Cartoons \| Custom Design Contact: ICQ - 240130421 \| Email - [email protected]

06-02-2007, 01:25 PM	#8
k0nr4d Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Poland Posts: 9,228	This was a broadcast message on some IRC network, I don't remember which, i think it was efnet. -Global- we have opened up 2 new chat chans. For canadians go to #canada , For jews go to #ConcentrationCamp __________________ Mechanical Bunny Media Mechbunny Tube Script \| Mechbunny Webcam Aggregator Script \| Custom Web Development

06-02-2007, 01:28 PM	#9
KRosh So Fucking Outlawed Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 5,114	Why do Jewish people like the game of Football? (American Football that is) Because the object of the game is to get the Quarter Back __________________ ICQ 115433750

06-02-2007, 11:37 AM	#2
Dirty F Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Posts: 59,204	Where does a jewish guy hide his money from his wife? Under the vacuum cleaner.

06-02-2007, 02:00 PM	#11
Gumballs Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Michigan Posts: 250	A Jew and an Italian are walking down the street together and talking about life in general, the Italian looks across the street and spots a beautiful blond with massive tits and a perfect ass. The Italian says to the Jew, Man! I would really love to fuck her. The Jew says, Out of what? __________________ http://www.adultpayprocessing.com/

06-02-2007, 02:47 PM	#13
SexualDragon Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 3,038	did you hear about the new jewish car? It stops on a dime. Then it picks it up. __________________ Make 2009 a great year with Tiffany Preston 436-127-934

06-02-2007, 02:47 PM	#14
You Forgot Poland So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 286

06-02-2007, 04:12 PM	#15
xNetworx So Fucking What Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Whore Island Posts: 14,445	I heard somebody call a cash register a "Jewish Piano" ... that was funny imo

06-02-2007, 04:48 PM	#16
MaDalton I am Amazing Content! Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 39,828	found this today on a website - i wonder how they figured out the pig is jewish __________________ AmazingContent.com - providing only the best content and service since 2003 Monetize your content on Veegaz.com - one of Germanies largest VOD sites Got German traffic? We convert it into money for you! Skype: madalton02826 - Email: oltecconsult [at] gmail [dot] com

06-02-2007, 05:45 PM	#17
Damian_Maxcash So Fucking Banned Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: MaxCash.com Posts: 12,745	Have you heard about the new German Microwave? It seats six.....

06-03-2007, 10:01 AM	#18
xxweekxx Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 6,780	lol......... __________________ _________________ I am the best

06-03-2007, 05:56 PM	#19
notabook Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Not a Library! Posts: 9,748	What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when you throw it in the oven. __________________

06-03-2007, 10:07 PM	#21
kmanrox aka K-Man Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: The Gutter Posts: 29,291	you guys don't plan to do any real business in this industry, do yas? __________________ Crypto HODLr Crypto mining Angel investor

06-03-2007, 10:33 PM	#22
bronco67 Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 29,032	one of them Priest Rabbi minister jokes... A priest, a rabbi, and a minister decide to start a new church together as an experiment. They're trying to decide how the money will be handled, and the priest makes the first suggestion...he says " we'll draw a line on the floor, then throw the money into the air. Whatever lands to the right of line, will go to us. Whatever lands on the left side will go to god." The minister says, "how about we just draw circle? the money that lands outside the circle will go to us. What lands inside will go to god." the Rabbi says, "Let's just throw the money into the air...whatever God can catch, he can keep."

06-03-2007, 11:00 PM	#25
PostWhore Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 4,720	Whats a difference between a jew and a canoo? The Canoo tips!! __________________ Ask me how to monetize with adult traffic!

06-03-2007, 11:11 PM	#26
calibra Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 4,357	I like this thread, LOL! __________________ GetCyberCash.com

06-03-2007, 11:16 PM	#27
zeruel Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: I was born intelligent, but Google ruined me! Posts: 1,387	hahaha!!! nice thread!!! LOL!

06-16-2007, 03:28 PM	#28
emjay Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Back in Blighty Posts: 4,277	A totally naked woman jumps into Moish Goldberg's taxi and says, "Take me to Brooklyn." Moish looks at her and says, "Lady, how are you going to pay for the ride? You're totally naked and don't even have a pocketbook." The woman points between her legs and says, "How about with this?" Moish replies, "Lady, ain't you got anything smaller?" __________________ I Run 500+ WhatsApp Groups. The Zuck Owns Me www.emjayconsultancy.com

06-16-2007, 03:50 PM	#32
emjay Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Back in Blighty Posts: 4,277	Three Texans are sitting together on an airplane. Two are hardy, tall men wearing cowboy boots and 10 gallon hats. The third is a little old Jewish man wearing a yalmuke, short pants, and high black sox with sandles. The first Texan says: My name is Roger, I have 2000 acres and 3,000 head of cattle. I call my place "The Jolly Roger." The second Texan says: My name is Gene. I own 5.000 acres and 5,000 head. I call my place "Gene's Ranch Estate." The little old Jewish man says: I own 200 acres and got no cattle. And what do you call your place says Roger sarcastically. Downtown Dallas says the old Jewish man. __________________ I Run 500+ WhatsApp Groups. The Zuck Owns Me www.emjayconsultancy.com

06-16-2007, 05:08 PM	#33
fluffygrrl So Fucking Banned Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 2,187	1940, Aaron and Ariel are convicted by the nazis to death by firing squad. While they're waiting for the squad to assemble, one of those funny tricycles comes in a cloud of dust. The sentence was comuted to death by hanging. Ariel : See ? Their days are numbered, already running out of bullets.

06-16-2007, 05:12 PM	#34
Mutt Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 34,431	isn't Lensman Jewish? you guys are tards. __________________ I moved my sites to Vacares Hosting. I've saved money, my hair is thicker, lost some weight too! Thanks Sly!