The 5 Questions Most Feared By Men - GoFuckYourself.com

PAR · 08-22-2007, 09:38 AM

-------------------------
The 5 Questions Most Feared By Men
-------------------------

1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat in this?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so difficult is that each one is guaranteed
to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e.
tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is
analyzed below, along with possible responses.

Question #1: What are you thinking about? The proper answer to this, of
course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting
on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you
are, and how lucky I am to have met you."

This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which
most likely is one of the following: a. "Football." b. "Golf." c. "How
fat you are." d. "How I would spend the insurance money if you died."

Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who
once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be
talking to you!"

Question #2: Do you love me? The proper response is: "Yes!" or, if you
feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear."

Inappropriate responses include: a. "Oh yeah, sh*tloads." b. "Would it
make you feel better if I said yes?" c. "That depends on what you mean
by love." d. "Does it matter?" e. "Who, me?"

Question #3: Do I look fat? The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of
course not!"

Incorrect answers are: a. "Compared to what?" b. "I wouldn't call you
fat, but you're not exactly thin." c. "A little extra weight looks good
on you." d. "I've seen fatter." e. "Sorry, what did you say? I was just
thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died."

Question #4: Do you think she's prettier than me? Once again, the proper
response is an emphatic: "Of course not!"

Incorrect responses include: a. "Yes, but you have a better
personality." b. "Not prettier, but definitely thinner." c. "Not as
pretty as you when you were her age." d. "Define pretty." e. "Sorry what
did you say? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance
money if you died."

Question #5: What would you do if I died? A definite no-win question.
(The real answer, of course, is "Buy a Ferrari and a boat.")

No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of
follow-up questions, usually along these lines:

Woman: Would you get married again?
Man: Definitely not!
Woman: Why not -- don't you like being married?
Man: Of course I do.
Woman: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
Man: Okay, I'd get married again.
Woman: You would? (With a hurtful look on her face)
Man: (audible groan)
Woman: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
Man: Where else would we sleep?
Woman: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of
her?
Man: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
Woman: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
Man: She can't use them -- she's left-handed.
Woman: (silence)
Man: She's left-handed....
Woman: (silence)
Man: Sh*t.

KBoogie · 08-22-2007, 09:43 AM

That is hilarious! Poor Men!

Kristian · 08-22-2007, 09:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Platinum Paul

-------------------------
The 5 Questions Most Feared By Men
-------------------------

1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat in this?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so difficult is that each one is guaranteed
to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e.
tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is
analyzed below, along with possible responses.

Question #1: What are you thinking about? The proper answer to this, of
course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting
on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you
are, and how lucky I am to have met you."

This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which
most likely is one of the following: a. "Football." b. "Golf." c. "How
fat you are." d. "How I would spend the insurance money if you died."

Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who
once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be
talking to you!"

Question #2: Do you love me? The proper response is: "Yes!" or, if you
feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear."

Inappropriate responses include: a. "Oh yeah, sh*tloads." b. "Would it
make you feel better if I said yes?" c. "That depends on what you mean
by love." d. "Does it matter?" e. "Who, me?"

Question #3: Do I look fat? The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of
course not!"

Incorrect answers are: a. "Compared to what?" b. "I wouldn't call you
fat, but you're not exactly thin." c. "A little extra weight looks good
on you." d. "I've seen fatter." e. "Sorry, what did you say? I was just
thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died."

Question #4: Do you think she's prettier than me? Once again, the proper
response is an emphatic: "Of course not!"

Incorrect responses include: a. "Yes, but you have a better
personality." b. "Not prettier, but definitely thinner." c. "Not as
pretty as you when you were her age." d. "Define pretty." e. "Sorry what
did you say? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance
money if you died."

Question #5: What would you do if I died? A definite no-win question.
(The real answer, of course, is "Buy a Ferrari and a boat.")

No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of
follow-up questions, usually along these lines:

Woman: Would you get married again?
Man: Definitely not!
Woman: Why not -- don't you like being married?
Man: Of course I do.
Woman: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
Man: Okay, I'd get married again.
Woman: You would? (With a hurtful look on her face)
Man: (audible groan)
Woman: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
Man: Where else would we sleep?
Woman: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of
her?
Man: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
Woman: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
Man: She can't use them -- she's left-handed.
Woman: (silence)
Man: She's left-handed....
Woman: (silence)
Man: Sh*t.

It's funny because I eat poo.

tomeatsdinner · 08-22-2007, 09:48 AM

lol.. Good one and its so true..

peterk · 08-22-2007, 09:55 AM

lol One single word: TRUE

Flynn · 08-22-2007, 09:58 AM

This thread is great. It gave me a good laugh. It's all true.
I got a kick out of this...
"Sorry, what did you say? I was just
thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died."

Shoehorn! · 08-22-2007, 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Platinum Paul

Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who
once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be
talking to you!"

riabanana · 08-22-2007, 10:04 AM

A good way to torture my boyfriend. lol

woj · 08-22-2007, 10:07 AM

heh, that's pretty good

Aquarius · 08-22-2007, 10:19 AM

I'm laughing my ass out here.

teg0 · 08-22-2007, 10:24 AM

That pretty much sums it up

carol.prime · 08-22-2007, 10:34 AM

hahaha!! nice one!! got yah..left-handed! lol
well. seems so true!

Dagwolf · 08-22-2007, 10:34 AM

I've got news for you! Those are no longer the correct answers.

sniperwolf · 08-22-2007, 10:38 AM

GREAT thread! so TRUE, so guys please keep that in mind! lol

Elli · 08-22-2007, 11:25 AM

haha she's left handed

Farang · 08-22-2007, 11:43 AM

that's great, thanks for sharing

Vitasoy · 08-22-2007, 11:44 AM

haha that was great

frostyimpressions · 08-22-2007, 11:46 AM

I don't even bother asking my boyfriend if I look fat. I know he's not going to say the truth anyways.

Jet - BANNED FOR LIFE · 08-22-2007, 11:47 AM

here's #6:

- Is it in yet?

JayDeeZee · 08-22-2007, 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jet

here's #6:

- Is it in yet?

webgurl · 08-22-2007, 12:00 PM

those are my top 5 too so not sure if it only applies to
guys .
Whatsup Paul miss me much ? LOL

solomonYBM · 08-22-2007, 12:05 PM

Now thats so funny

CDSmith · 08-22-2007, 12:11 PM

1. What are you thinking about?

Beer. Could you get me one?

2. Do you love me?

You mean you don't know?

3. Do I look fat in this?

Yes.

4. Do you think she is prettier than me?

Why, do you see me hitting on her?

5. What would you do if I died?

Get on with life and hopefully find a woman who won't pester me with dumbass questions.

PAR · 08-22-2007, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by webgurl

Whatsup Paul miss me much ? LOL

I guess I should have made it a top 6 list..

Question #6: Do you or did you miss me?

The proper answer to this, of course, is: "Yes I missed you... My life feels so empty when you?re not around. Now you can make of my decision and run my life for me before I start to make all the wrong decisions and completely make a mess of things."

This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which
most likely is one of the following:
a. "Fuck I forgot you were coming back."
b. "Good you're back get me a beer."
c. "What?s your name again."
d. "I should have known you were gone, by how quite the house is."

Perhaps again the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "With every bullet so far!"

------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey webgurl.. how are things ... Yes I missed you... My life feels so empty when you?re not around.

Rochard · 08-22-2007, 12:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Platinum Paul

Woman: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
Man: She can't use them -- she's left-handed.
Woman: (silence)
Man: She's left-handed....
Woman: (silence)
Man: Sh*t.

That's damn funny right there!

JayDeeZee · 08-22-2007, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Platinum Paul

I guess I should have made it a top 6 list..

Question #6: Do you or did you miss me?

The proper answer to this, of course, is: "Yes I missed you... My life feels so empty when you?re not around. Now you can make of my decision and run my life for me before I start to make all the wrong decisions and completely make a mess of things."

This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which
most likely is one of the following:
a. "Fuck I forgot you were coming back."
b. "Good you're back get me a beer."
c. "What?s your name again."
d. "I should have known you were gone, by how quite the house is."

Perhaps again the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "With every bullet so far!"

------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey webgurl.. how are things ... Yes I missed you... My life feels so empty when you?re not around.

08-22-2007, 10:04 AM	#8
riabanana Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 313	A good way to torture my boyfriend. lol __________________ Vibrators, dildos, cock rings and all other sex toys? We've got them ALL for you. http://venustoys.com

08-22-2007, 10:07 AM	#9
woj <&(©¿©)&> Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 47,882	heh, that's pretty good __________________ Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000 Affiliate program tools: Hosted Galleries Manager Banner Manager Video Manager Wordpress Affiliate Plugin Pic/Movie of the Day Fansign Generator Zip Manager

08-22-2007, 10:24 AM	#11
teg0 Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Gringo in Puerto Rico Posts: 4,197	That pretty much sums it up __________________ OV Tube - Tube Script Software

08-22-2007, 10:34 AM	#12
carol.prime Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Manila, Philippines Posts: 6,960	hahaha!! nice one!! got yah..left-handed! lol well. seems so true! __________________ Prime Outsourcing \| offshore staffing solutions \| manual labor \| employee leasing \| full time employees starting at $695.00/month = managed and dedicated icq.: 309570461 live chat

08-22-2007, 10:34 AM	#13
Dagwolf President of Canada Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Leaving Hell, Entering Limbo Posts: 23,141	I've got news for you! Those are no longer the correct answers. __________________ Sleep well, and dream of large women.

08-22-2007, 09:38 AM	#1
PAR Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 1,835	The 5 Questions Most Feared By Men ------------------------- The 5 Questions Most Feared By Men ------------------------- 1. What are you thinking about? 2. Do you love me? 3. Do I look fat in this? 4. Do you think she is prettier than me? 5. What would you do if I died? What makes these questions so difficult is that each one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e. tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses. Question #1: What are you thinking about? The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you." This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following: a. "Football." b. "Golf." c. "How fat you are." d. "How I would spend the insurance money if you died." Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!" Question #2: Do you love me? The proper response is: "Yes!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear." Inappropriate responses include: a. "Oh yeah, shtloads." b. "Would it make you feel better if I said yes?" c. "That depends on what you mean by love." d. "Does it matter?" e. "Who, me?" Question #3: Do I look fat? The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Incorrect answers are: a. "Compared to what?" b. "I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin." c. "A little extra weight looks good on you." d. "I've seen fatter." e. "Sorry, what did you say? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died." Question #4: Do you think she's prettier than me? Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Incorrect responses include: a. "Yes, but you have a better personality." b. "Not prettier, but definitely thinner." c. "Not as pretty as you when you were her age." d. "Define pretty." e. "Sorry what did you say? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died." Question #5: What would you do if I died? A definite no-win question. (The real answer, of course, is "Buy a Ferrari and a boat.") No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along these lines: Woman: Would you get married again? Man: Definitely not! Woman: Why not -- don't you like being married? Man: Of course I do. Woman: Then why wouldn't you remarry? Man: Okay, I'd get married again. Woman: You would? (With a hurtful look on her face) Man: (audible groan) Woman: Would you sleep with her in our bed? Man: Where else would we sleep? Woman: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her? Man: That would seem like the proper thing to do. Woman: And would you let her use my golf clubs? Man: She can't use them -- she's left-handed. Woman: (silence) Man: She's left-handed.... Woman: (silence) Man: Sht.

08-22-2007, 09:43 AM	#2
KBoogie Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 740	That is hilarious! Poor Men! __________________ Kristin www.smartbucks.com www.ten.com ICQ: 367485738 AIM: KrsJy1 1 join = $40pps \| 2+ joins = $50pps \| 5+ joins = $75pps \| 10+ joins = $100pps

08-22-2007, 09:48 AM	#4
tomeatsdinner Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 262	lol.. Good one and its so true.. __________________

08-22-2007, 09:55 AM	#5
peterk Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 3,529	lol One single word: TRUE __________________ Bogat mama ala cu loturi de trafic

08-22-2007, 09:58 AM	#6
Flynn pr0's goat screwed me Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Seattle Posts: 2,083	This thread is great. It gave me a good laugh. It's all true. I got a kick out of this... "Sorry, what did you say? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died." __________________ blah blah blah

08-22-2007, 10:19 AM	#10
Aquarius Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Mom's basement Posts: 4,754	I'm laughing my ass out here.

08-22-2007, 10:38 AM	#14
sniperwolf Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 17,743	GREAT thread! so TRUE, so guys please keep that in mind! lol __________________ ~Accepting design works~

08-22-2007, 11:25 AM	#15
Elli Reach for those stars! Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 17,991	haha she's left handed __________________ Make More Money with Cams and Dating at FFN.com! email: [email protected]

08-22-2007, 11:43 AM	#16
Farang one sick puppy Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Where the worst of the West meets the worst of the East Posts: 11,485	that's great, thanks for sharing

08-22-2007, 11:44 AM	#17
Vitasoy GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 58,202	haha that was great __________________ [email protected]

08-22-2007, 11:46 AM	#18
frostyimpressions Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 918	I don't even bother asking my boyfriend if I look fat. I know he's not going to say the truth anyways. __________________ Lisa

08-22-2007, 11:47 AM	#19
Jet - BANNED FOR LIFE So Fucking Banned Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 7,515	here's #6: - Is it in yet?

08-22-2007, 12:00 PM	#21
webgurl Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Clouds with Carebears Posts: 7,951	those are my top 5 too so not sure if it only applies to guys . Whatsup Paul miss me much ? LOL

08-22-2007, 12:05 PM	#22
solomonYBM Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Toronto Posts: 145	Now thats so funny __________________ High Volume Video Encoding \| Prepaid Adult Website Access \| Porn Photo Comics

08-22-2007, 12:11 PM	#23
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	1. What are you thinking about? Beer. Could you get me one? 2. Do you love me? You mean you don't know? 3. Do I look fat in this? Yes. 4. Do you think she is prettier than me? Why, do you see me hitting on her? 5. What would you do if I died? Get on with life and hopefully find a woman who won't pester me with dumbass questions. __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634