Self Exam For Men...The truth revealed - Are you gay??? - GoFuckYourself.com

Semi-Retired-Dave · 01-07-2008, 01:39 PM

Boy Alley, no need to read.

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay.
It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have
spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the
Oprah diet.
2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog,
but gay-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a
delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And
just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get
your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat...
'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed,
you're so gay.
3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such
nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on
bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs
feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training and undeniably a
fag.
4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a
parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is
his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man will
never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy
Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.
6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four
different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as
well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory
space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out
chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is, you're gay. And if you can
name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are
faggadocious.
7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to
tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at
a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs
that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his
beer.
8. If you do not send this off to all your male friends
because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely
on the verge of being a fudge packer.

Andy Servers4Less · 01-07-2008, 01:45 PM

LOL, whew, thank goodness it turns out Im not gay.

Juicy D. Links · 01-07-2008, 01:46 PM

i passed i aint gay

CyberAgeGary · 01-07-2008, 01:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Juicy D. Links

i passed i aint gay

Bullshit...

4 years certified member of UGAS.com will convince me otherwise...

Semi-Retired-Dave · 01-07-2008, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Juicy D. Links

i passed i aint gay

I thought you had a cat.

Juicy D. Links · 01-07-2008, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave

I thought you had a cat.

lies!!!!!!!!!!!!

Juicy D. Links · 01-07-2008, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CyberAgeGary

Bullshit...

4 years certified member of UGAS.com will convince me otherwise...

Semi-Retired-Dave · 01-07-2008, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Juicy D. Links

You can run but you can't hide...

Sveindt Beindt · 01-07-2008, 02:01 PM

No singel beer,only 6 pack

SomeCreep · 01-07-2008, 02:06 PM

Only a gay man would take a self exam to determine whether he is gay.

Semi-Retired-Dave · 01-07-2008, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SomeCreep

Only a gay man would take a self exam to determine whether he is gay.

That is soooooo true.

01-07-2008, 01:39 PM	#1
Semi-Retired-Dave Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: LA Posts: 11,190	Self Exam For Men...The truth revealed - Are you gay??? Boy Alley, no need to read. 1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet. 2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat... 'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay. 3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on bar-b-que ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training and undeniably a fag. 4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases. 5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too. 6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is, you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious. 7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer. 8. If you do not send this off to all your male friends because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the verge of being a fudge packer. __________________ Support a Good Cause

01-07-2008, 01:45 PM	#2
Andy Servers4Less Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2007 Posts: 922	LOL, whew, thank goodness it turns out Im not gay. __________________ Andy Servers4Less www.ServersForLess.com ICQ: 412-203-056 DUAL QUAD CORES W/100 Mbps UNMETERED- $799/ month!!

01-07-2008, 02:01 PM	#9
Sveindt Beindt Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Kopenhagen Denmark Posts: 1,853	No singel beer,only 6 pack __________________ Nylonfeet Bondage Vintage Magazine Pinup Teen

01-07-2008, 02:06 PM	#10
SomeCreep :glugglug Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Where the Wild Things Are Posts: 26,118	Only a gay man would take a self exam to determine whether he is gay. __________________ Webair Hosting I use and recommend Webair for hosting.

01-07-2008, 01:46 PM	#3
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	i passed i aint gay