TO ALL THE LADIES - How can I get into your pants? - GoFuckYourself.com

Jake the King · 04-19-2008, 02:49 PM

I am just wondering what sort of things a guy can do to rapidly advance the "sexual" activity between a man (me) and a woman (you). I see the target, now I need to, "HIT IT!"

REVEAL YOUR SECRETS HERE!

I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!!!

Thank you lovely girl.

st0ned · 04-19-2008, 02:51 PM

Advance two spaces, if you pass go collect $200 and unzip pants. If not, roll the dice again.

Jake the King · 04-19-2008, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by st0ned

Advance two spaces, if you pass go collect $200 and unzip pants. If not, roll the dice again.

Not to get "gross" or anything, but my pants are unzipped and I have already passed GO.

Now I need the hot ladies to tell me their secrets!!!!

Secret to success!

st0ned · 04-19-2008, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jake the King

Not to get "gross" or anything, but my pants are unzipped and I have already passed GO.

Now I need the hot ladies to tell me their secrets!!!!

Secret to success!

CurrentlySober · 04-19-2008, 02:59 PM

the secret is in the poo

Paper_Amar · 04-19-2008, 03:04 PM

Hang out with the wang out

Jake the King · 04-19-2008, 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThatGuyInTheCorner

the secret is in the poo

I know you have a secret and it has to do with poo. My question for you is, do you eat it? Do you play with it? When you say, "I like poo." What exactly is it that you like about poo? The taste? The texture? The smell? You have never revealed your secret before. Please bless this thread and reveal your love of poo here. I want the peace and harmony of life that YOU have.

Thank you my friend!

Elli · 04-19-2008, 03:05 PM

Interesting thread topic...

Jake the King · 04-19-2008, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paper_Amar

Hang out with the wang out

I will try tonight!!!

THANK YOU!

Angry Jew Cat - Banned for Life · 04-19-2008, 03:06 PM

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

mona · 04-19-2008, 03:06 PM

Give her LOTS of Long Beach Ice Teas...A spin off of the Long Island, made with Cranberry Juice instead of Coca-Cola, can't even taste the liquor!!!

Jake the King · 04-19-2008, 03:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elli

Interesting thread topic...

Now Elli,

do you have any tips for me? What can a guy do to expedite the process?

I mean . . . . . imagine you are with a guy you like, what "things" might he do to excite you faster than usual?

By the way, I just got rock hard looking at your little pic in your sig. Sorry.

Jake the King · 04-19-2008, 03:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mona_klixxx

Give her LOTS of Long Beach Ice Teas...A spin off of the Long Island, made with Cranberry Juice instead of Coca-Cola, can't even taste the liquor!!!

NOW THAT IS WHAT I'M TALK'N BOUT!

Thank you beautiful baby!!!

Jake the King · 04-19-2008, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ismokeblunts

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Very nice!

But you are treading onto some questionable LEGAL issues. Not that I'm against it. If it gets me to the target, I will try it! I just have some negative memories regarding chloroform and sex and Juicy D. Links.

He used that exact same "line" on me and I fell for it. I woke up in a lot of pain in all parts of my body.

Thank you though!

StaciEroticy508 · 04-19-2008, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jake the King

NOW THAT IS WHAT I'M TALK'N BOUT!

Thank you beautiful baby!!!

Honest to god if you have to resort to getting a girl drunk to sleep with her thats just sad.....want some advice- STOP LOOKING FOR A QUICK BANG. There is no such thing. In EVERY sexual act there are feelings. EVEN in a one night stand, there has to be an attraction of some sort. Buy some "bitch come running" AKA Aqua De Gio by Giorgio Armani, dress to impress (but dont over do it), and talk to her, LISTEN to her, ask her questions, tell her about yourself and MAKE HER LAUGH. above all else, women want a man who can make her laugh. And the reason is, in this serious world of existance, with all the pressures of today, what do we all want? a good fucking laugh my ass off moment! That is the best advice i can give you to speed the process up. And a lil alcohol never hurt, just dont blantanly try to get her drunk.....WE DO notice that! lol

CurrentlySober · 04-19-2008, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jake the King

I know you have a secret and it has to do with poo. My question for you is, do you eat it? Do you play with it? When you say, "I like poo." What exactly is it that you like about poo? The taste? The texture? The smell? You have never revealed your secret before. Please bless this thread and reveal your love of poo here. I want the peace and harmony of life that YOU have.

Thank you my friend!

Certainly

Most people dislike poo... It scares them and they flush it away...
Other people LOVE poo, and indulge in all the fine actives you suggest... Tasting, sniffing, eating, playing with it... etc etc...

Well, I do neither. I dont dislike poo, nor do I love poo...
I do not 'rush to flush', nor do I hold on to my souvenirs for future activities...

It is like the ying and the yang... I am neither, so therefore I simply 'Like' poo...

Does that explain things?

i like poo...

st0ned · 04-19-2008, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThatGuyInTheCorner

Certainly

Most people dislike poo... It scares them and they flush it away...
Other people LOVE poo, and indulge in all the fine actives you suggest... Tasting, sniffing, eating, playing with it... etc etc...

Well, I do neither. I dont dislike poo, nor do I love poo...
I do not 'rush to flush', nor do I hold on to my souvenirs for future activities...

It is like the ying and the yang... I am neither, so therefore I simply 'Like' poo...

Does that explain things?

i like poo...

Jake the King · 04-19-2008, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThatGuyInTheCorner

I simply 'Like' poo...

Does that explain things?

i like poo...

I thank you for that very nice post. I believe I understand now. I hope to one day achieve the happiness you have! I just hope that if you like "other people's" poo instead of your own poo, that I can follow in your foot steps. I can tell you that MY poo stinks real bad and I don't like it.

Jake the King · 04-19-2008, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StaciEroticy508

Honest to god if you have to resort to getting a girl drunk to sleep with her thats just sad.....want some advice- STOP LOOKING FOR A QUICK BANG. There is no such thing. In EVERY sexual act there are feelings. EVEN in a one night stand, there has to be an attraction of some sort. Buy some "bitch come running" AKA Aqua De Gio by Giorgio Armani, dress to impress (but dont over do it), and talk to her, LISTEN to her, ask her questions, tell her about yourself and MAKE HER LAUGH. above all else, women want a man who can make her laugh. And the reason is, in this serious world of existance, with all the pressures of today, what do we all want? a good fucking laugh my ass off moment! That is the best advice i can give you to speed the process up. And a lil alcohol never hurt, just dont blantanly try to get her drunk.....WE DO notice that! lol

THANK YOU! I can tell you have dealt with the many morons that refer to me as "brother."

I respect your advice and I will follow it.

But, what happens when a girl gets herself DRUNK in order to get the courage to attack a man? I've had that happen and I figured that it was ok. I didn't "get her drunk" and I really did like her. She was extra wild. Like a cougar. I can't escape from a wild cougar.

Jake the King · 04-19-2008, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StaciEroticy508

Honest to god if you have to resort to getting a girl drunk to sleep with her thats just sad.....want some advice- STOP LOOKING FOR A QUICK BANG. There is no such thing. In EVERY sexual act there are feelings. EVEN in a one night stand, there has to be an attraction of some sort. Buy some "bitch come running" AKA Aqua De Gio by Giorgio Armani, dress to impress (but dont over do it), and talk to her, LISTEN to her, ask her questions, tell her about yourself and MAKE HER LAUGH. above all else, women want a man who can make her laugh. And the reason is, in this serious world of existance, with all the pressures of today, what do we all want? a good fucking laugh my ass off moment! That is the best advice i can give you to speed the process up. And a lil alcohol never hurt, just dont blantanly try to get her drunk.....WE DO notice that! lol

I also forgot to say that I think I love you.

XOXOXO!

Do you think an "ascot" is too much? I love you!

CurrentlySober · 04-19-2008, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jake the King

I thank you for that very nice post. I believe I understand now. I hope to one day achieve the happiness you have! I just hope that if you like "other people's" poo instead of your own poo, that I can follow in your foot steps. I can tell you that MY poo stinks real bad and I don't like it.

OK, let me answer in a different way, but a way I am sure YOU will understand...

I could type I am indifferent to poo, or I tolerate poo, or i consider poo to be neither good or bad...

However as that would be more than the required 8 characters, it would reduce my potential postcount considerably

i like poo

AlienQ - BANNED FOR LIFE · 04-19-2008, 04:20 PM

Its a number game.

Basically hit on chicks often and ya get some bites.
Follow up on the bites. The more hit ups the more bites.

Pretty easy mano.
Ya may not fuck what ya really want but ya still get fucked

]

I did this kind of thing in the nightclubs for years.
I would probably hit on about 20 different chicks in one night, ended up with alot of numbers, I was generally 1 in 4 numbers with a 1 in 15 fuck ratio.

Jake the King · 04-19-2008, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThatGuyInTheCorner

OK, let me answer in a different way, but a way I am sure YOU will understand...

I could type I am indifferent to poo, or I tolerate poo, or i consider poo to be neither good or bad...

However as that would be more than the required 8 characters, it would reduce my potential postcount considerably

i like poo

Oh, I see now. Not only would those other statements increase the character count, they seem to also not describe your actual feelings regarding poo.

"I like poo," is all you need my friend!

Peace · 04-19-2008, 04:22 PM

man need to try and try and try...You need to be sexy and easy. Remember girls like via ears. and via feelings....I have more then 100 girls via first day it is easy. but logical secrets will not work..Secret is inside of you...Relax and just meet them and do them right away. Actually 1 thing i will add. when you see a girl try to touch her right away or kiss her like the do in france. That works so they sex chakra turnes towards you. I hope it will help you.

AlienQ - BANNED FOR LIFE · 04-19-2008, 04:24 PM

Oh and once chicks seeing ya get game, for some reason they become interested

So it never hurts to shoot twice.
Ya get shot down twice thats fine no big deal just move on to the next.
It becomes a fun game actually and yeah my friends called me a male slut but I had alot of things goin on in the weekends and during the week with hook ups while they sat around doing nothing most the time and definatly not getting laid.

SO fuck what all these other idiots are saying its a pure numbers game entirelly.

CaptainHowdy · 04-19-2008, 04:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ismokeblunts

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

...

Jake the King · 04-19-2008, 04:28 PM

I REALLY WANT Punker Barbie to spill some of her secret desires. How can a guy unlock your passion punker barbie? I want to see the wild cougar in you, you sexy thing.

How can a guy get you EXTRA excited? Or, how can a guy at least have a shot at YOU?

I think I need to lick your thighs and your rib cage (and a lot of other places).

Would it be way off if I licked the back of your knees? What about your neck? Can I lick that?

I also want to tickle the bottom of your feet with my tongue.

You sexy thing - sexy thing.

Vick! · 04-19-2008, 04:31 PM

No real tips from women so far..

Jake the King · 04-19-2008, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peace

man need to try and try and try...You need to be sexy and easy. Remember girls like via ears. and via feelings....I have more then 100 girls via first day it is easy. but logical secrets will not work..Secret is inside of you...Relax and just meet them and do them right away. Actually 1 thing i will add. when you see a girl try to touch her right away or kiss her like the do in france. That works so they sex chakra turnes towards you. I hope it will help you.

Great ideas!!! Thank you my friend!!!!! I will definitely try!

Holly · 04-19-2008, 05:52 PM

Truckloads of money and a huge, huge cock.

And maybe some good drugs.

Fap · 04-19-2008, 06:08 PM

not posting anymore is a good start

Jake the King · 04-19-2008, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by banthis

not posting anymore is a good start

Cool! Let me know if it helps you! Thanks bud!!!

AlienQ - BANNED FOR LIFE · 04-19-2008, 06:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vick!

No real tips from women so far..

Of course not.
Besides, like the tips do not even matter when it is a numbers game anyways.

It is beyond Individual female control

So what ever answer they give is Moot.

oh and besides that Women never answer anything the same way any how I think it is some sort of game they play. There is no singular tip all would agree on.

Jake the King · 04-19-2008, 06:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlienQ

oh and besides that Women never answer anything the same way any how I think it is some sort of game they play. There is no singular tip all would agree on.

Are you trying to tell me that if I am told by a HOT girl on GFY to wear a top hat out to the clubs, that it might not be an "attraction" to all women at the club? The top hat that is. The one thing going through my mind is that I would do anything to try to be attractive to Punker Barbie. I would make it a full time job if it would get me in her pants.

MichelleB · 04-19-2008, 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ismokeblunts

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

LOL That's your answer to every kind of thread like this.

Spunky · 04-19-2008, 07:32 PM

Throw money at them

fris · 04-19-2008, 07:34 PM

does your mother know you are using her computer this late?

SuzzyQ · 04-19-2008, 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jake the King

I am just wondering what sort of things a guy can do to rapidly advance the "sexual" activity between a man (me) and a woman (you). I see the target, now I need to, "HIT IT!"

REVEAL YOUR SECRETS HERE!

I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!!!

Thank you lovely girl.

For starters, stop being a total dick head. And Punker Barbie has higher standards than you.

pornmasta · 04-19-2008, 09:32 PM

a hooker ?

also i can learn you how to make your own chloroform :D

Madame0120 · 04-20-2008, 04:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThatGuyInTheCorner

the secret is in the poo

You are what you eat.

Jake the King · 04-20-2008, 04:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuzzyQ

For starters, stop being a total dick head. And Punker Barbie has higher standards than you.

I see I have caught your eye. Pretend to hate my little friend . . . it makes me want you all the more!

Oh shit, you are a Red Sox fan? Fuuuuuuhhhhgggg. I like the Cleveland Indians so that means we can never be together. Unless of course you like real "angry" sex. It could be fun?

Jake the King · 04-20-2008, 04:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pornmasta

a hooker ?

also i can learn you how to make your own chloroform :D

Excellent! Thank you my friend!

I might also consider any tips on how to get a "hooker" to drop her pants for me. They always seem to be quite attracted to me, but there is this odd barrier.

Walrus · 04-20-2008, 05:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mona_klixxx

Give her LOTS of Long Beach Ice Teas...A spin off of the Long Island, made with Cranberry Juice instead of Coca-Cola, can't even taste the liquor!!!

The Tao of Steve.

Jake the King · 04-20-2008, 05:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuzzyQ

For starters, stop being a total dick head. And Punker Barbie has higher standards than you.

'You Boston bastard! Cleveland Compels you!

digifan · 04-20-2008, 05:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jake the King

Cool! Let me know if it helps you! Thanks bud!!!

PS
I don't wear pants...

Azoy? · 04-20-2008, 05:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jake the King

I am just wondering what sort of things a guy can do to rapidly advance the "sexual" activity between a man (me) and a woman (you). I see the target, now I need to, "HIT IT!"

REVEAL YOUR SECRETS HERE!

I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!!!

Thank you lovely girl.

grow up for one thing and do not show you are so much in need

vidvicious · 04-20-2008, 09:52 AM

try dangling 200$ on a hook .. that usually works in most hotel bars :P

Jake the King · 04-20-2008, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Azoy?

grow up for one thing and do not show you are so much in need

I am not so sure I can "grow up" but I'll give it a try!

Also, should I stop wearing my t-shirt that reads, "I WANT YOU," on the front and, "I STILL WANT YOU!" on the back, to the clubs and bars?

This could be perpetuating that, "so much in need" thing you think I should avoid.

Semi-Retired-Dave · 04-20-2008, 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ismokeblunts

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

That's just wrong! But pretty funny.

Jake the King · 04-20-2008, 10:10 AM

The chicks dig me!

04-19-2008, 02:49 PM	#1
Jake the King So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 207	TO ALL THE LADIES - How can I get into your pants? I am just wondering what sort of things a guy can do to rapidly advance the "sexual" activity between a man (me) and a woman (you). I see the target, now I need to, "HIT IT!" REVEAL YOUR SECRETS HERE! I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!!! Thank you lovely girl.

04-19-2008, 02:51 PM	#2
st0ned Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Arizona Posts: 8,437	Advance two spaces, if you pass go collect $200 and unzip pants. If not, roll the dice again. __________________ Conversion Sharks - 1,000+ adult dating offers, traffic management, and consistently high payouts. We will guarantee and beat your current EPC to win your dating traffic! Skype: ConversionSharks \|\| Email: info /@/ conversionsharks.com

04-19-2008, 02:59 PM	#5
CurrentlySober Too lazy to wipe my ass Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: A Public Bathroom Posts: 38,644	the secret is in the poo __________________ My AI Handywork... My Dream Gal... XXX 👁️ 👍️ 💩

04-19-2008, 03:04 PM	#6
Paper_Amar Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: North Miami Beach, Fl Posts: 2,607	Hang out with the wang out __________________ My icq; 4 4 7 5 4 2 1 2 8 Amar @ paper street cash .com

04-19-2008, 03:05 PM	#8
Elli Reach for those stars! Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 17,991	Interesting thread topic... __________________ email: [email protected]

04-19-2008, 03:06 PM	#10
Angry Jew Cat - Banned for Life (felis madjewicus) Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: In Mom & Dad's Basement Posts: 20,368	Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

04-19-2008, 03:06 PM	#11
mona Registered User Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Mona = "female monkey" in Spanish Posts: 1,940	Give her LOTS of Long Beach Ice Teas...A spin off of the Long Island, made with Cranberry Juice instead of Coca-Cola, can't even taste the liquor!!!

04-19-2008, 04:20 PM	#22
AlienQ - BANNED FOR LIFE best designer on GFY Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: IALIEN.COM - High Definition Video and Photographic Productions -ICQ 78943384 Posts: 30,307	Its a number game. Basically hit on chicks often and ya get some bites. Follow up on the bites. The more hit ups the more bites. Pretty easy mano. Ya may not fuck what ya really want but ya still get fucked] I did this kind of thing in the nightclubs for years. I would probably hit on about 20 different chicks in one night, ended up with alot of numbers, I was generally 1 in 4 numbers with a 1 in 15 fuck ratio. __________________ NAKED HOSTING FTW!11 I'm On The INSANE PLAN $9.95/mo! \| The Alien Blog Adult News Worth Reading Updated Daily \| Content For Sale! 641 PICS 216 MINUTES OF VIDEO $350.00 \|ICQ: 78943384 \| Last edited by AlienQ - BANNED FOR LIFE; 04-19-2008 at 04:21 PM..

04-19-2008, 04:22 PM	#24
Peace Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: NY and Moscow Posts: 5,519	man need to try and try and try...You need to be sexy and easy. Remember girls like via ears. and via feelings....I have more then 100 girls via first day it is easy. but logical secrets will not work..Secret is inside of you...Relax and just meet them and do them right away. Actually 1 thing i will add. when you see a girl try to touch her right away or kiss her like the do in france. That works so they sex chakra turnes towards you. I hope it will help you. __________________ Need Custom or Licensed Content? Visit PhotoVideoContent.com Email: [email protected] / Telegram: @romatibet / Skype: Peace888

04-19-2008, 04:24 PM	#25
AlienQ - BANNED FOR LIFE best designer on GFY Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: IALIEN.COM - High Definition Video and Photographic Productions -ICQ 78943384 Posts: 30,307	Oh and once chicks seeing ya get game, for some reason they become interested So it never hurts to shoot twice. Ya get shot down twice thats fine no big deal just move on to the next. It becomes a fun game actually and yeah my friends called me a male slut but I had alot of things goin on in the weekends and during the week with hook ups while they sat around doing nothing most the time and definatly not getting laid. SO fuck what all these other idiots are saying its a pure numbers game entirelly. __________________ NAKED HOSTING FTW!11 I'm On The INSANE PLAN $9.95/mo! \| The Alien Blog Adult News Worth Reading Updated Daily \| Content For Sale! 641 PICS 216 MINUTES OF VIDEO $350.00 \|ICQ: 78943384 \|

04-19-2008, 04:28 PM	#27
Jake the King So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 207	I REALLY WANT Punker Barbie to spill some of her secret desires. How can a guy unlock your passion punker barbie? I want to see the wild cougar in you, you sexy thing. How can a guy get you EXTRA excited? Or, how can a guy at least have a shot at YOU? I think I need to lick your thighs and your rib cage (and a lot of other places). Would it be way off if I licked the back of your knees? What about your neck? Can I lick that? I also want to tickle the bottom of your feet with my tongue. You sexy thing - sexy thing.

04-19-2008, 04:31 PM	#28
Vick! Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: 20 00'24.00" N, 75 09'00.00 W Posts: 6,882	No real tips from women so far.. __________________ Affordable Quality Web Hosting

04-19-2008, 05:52 PM	#30
Holly Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Jesusland Posts: 10,017	Truckloads of money and a huge, huge cock. And maybe some good drugs. __________________ War National Damn Champions Eagle

04-19-2008, 06:08 PM	#31
Fap Just Du It Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 12,094	not posting anymore is a good start

04-19-2008, 07:32 PM	#36
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,940	Throw money at them __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

04-19-2008, 07:34 PM	#37
fris Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 55,372	does your mother know you are using her computer this late? __________________ Since 1999: 69 Adult Industry awards for Best Hosting Company and professional excellence. WP Stuff

04-19-2008, 09:32 PM	#39
pornmasta Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 19,216	a hooker ? also i can learn you how to make your own chloroform :D

04-20-2008, 09:52 AM	#47
vidvicious Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 4,765	try dangling 200$ on a hook .. that usually works in most hotel bars :P __________________ 3D-VR live webcams Facebook profile "I take pics for the "Casual Encounters" section of Craigslist."

04-20-2008, 10:10 AM	#50
Jake the King So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 207	The chicks dig me!