Life explained in this Paragraph - GoFuckYourself.com

Pete-KT · 04-25-2008, 09:56 AM

On the first day, God created the dog and said:
'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'
The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said:
'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'
The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said:
'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'
The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said:
'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'
But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'
'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'
So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service...

tony286 · 04-25-2008, 09:59 AM

I like it very good.

BradM · 04-25-2008, 10:01 AM

Hahahaha

Best post you've ever made Pete. That was so funny and so very true.

VikingMan · 04-25-2008, 10:01 AM

thank you, good post

munki · 04-25-2008, 10:03 AM

That was pretty awesome doood...

Socks · 04-25-2008, 10:03 AM

I can die happily now. My life peaked while reading this.

martinsc · 04-25-2008, 10:07 AM

Kroy · 04-25-2008, 10:37 AM

That's actually a really sweet post man, makes ya think

Elli · 04-25-2008, 11:05 AM

That's a great one!

Vick! · 04-25-2008, 11:43 AM

Thats sad and funny at the same time, and very true.

Pete-KT · 04-25-2008, 11:44 AM

glad you guys liked it, i got it in my email this morning from my sister

qxm · 04-25-2008, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Socks

I can die happily now. My life peaked while reading this.

Same here... gr8 info m8 ...

CaptainHowdy · 04-25-2008, 11:52 AM

Rofllllllllllll!

Pete-KT · 04-25-2008, 09:11 PM

Bump for the night guys

2012 · 04-25-2008, 09:14 PM

that was great thanx :D

Pete-KT · 04-26-2008, 07:29 AM

anytime fartfly

Richard - Triplexcash · 04-26-2008, 08:14 PM

Great one, tnx

GrouchyAdmin · 04-26-2008, 08:15 PM

That was a pretty good one.

Fusion ::Discodinero:: · 04-26-2008, 08:22 PM

finally it has been explained!

Farang · 04-27-2008, 03:13 AM

Some people cheat, they don't get married

Pete-KT · 04-27-2008, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AAK

Some people cheat, they don't get married

what does that have to do with life being explained?

woj · 04-27-2008, 10:27 AM

that's pretty good, heh

04-25-2008, 09:56 AM	#1
Pete-KT Workin With The Devil Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: West Bloomfield, MI Posts: 51,532	Life explained in this Paragraph On the first day, God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.' The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?' So God agreed. On the second day, God created the monkey and said: 'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.' The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?' And God agreed. On the third day, God created the cow and said: 'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.' The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?' And God agreed again. On the fourth day, God created man and said: 'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.' But man said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?' 'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.' So that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone. Life has now been explained to you. There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service...

04-25-2008, 10:03 AM	#5
munki Do Fun Shit. Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: OC Posts: 13,393	That was pretty awesome doood... __________________ “I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.” -Oscar Wilde

04-25-2008, 10:07 AM	#7
martinsc Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: 127.0.0.1 Posts: 27,047	__________________ Make Money

04-25-2008, 10:37 AM	#8
Kroy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 413	That's actually a really sweet post man, makes ya think __________________ Kroy The Invisible Hand Say Hello "The stone age didn't end because they ran out of stones..." - S. Yamani

04-25-2008, 11:05 AM	#9
Elli Reach for those stars! Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 17,991	That's a great one! __________________ email: [email protected]

04-25-2008, 09:59 AM	#2
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	I like it very good.

04-25-2008, 10:01 AM	#3
BradM Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: 1123,6536,5231 Posts: 3,397	Hahahaha Best post you've ever made Pete. That was so funny and so very true.

04-25-2008, 10:01 AM	#4
VikingMan Exploiting human weakness Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: next to a salmon stream Posts: 6,531	thank you, good post

04-25-2008, 10:03 AM	#6
Socks Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Location: Toronto Posts: 8,475	I can die happily now. My life peaked while reading this.

04-25-2008, 11:43 AM	#10
Vick! Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: 20 00'24.00" N, 75 09'00.00 W Posts: 6,882	Thats sad and funny at the same time, and very true. __________________ Affordable Quality Web Hosting

04-25-2008, 11:44 AM	#11
Pete-KT Workin With The Devil Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: West Bloomfield, MI Posts: 51,532	glad you guys liked it, i got it in my email this morning from my sister

04-25-2008, 11:52 AM	#13
CaptainHowdy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Happy in the dark. Posts: 93,567	Rofllllllllllll!

04-25-2008, 09:11 PM	#14
Pete-KT Workin With The Devil Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: West Bloomfield, MI Posts: 51,532	Bump for the night guys

04-25-2008, 09:14 PM	#15
2012 So Fucking What Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 17,189	that was great thanx :D __________________ best host: Webair \| best sponsor: Kink \| best coder: 688218966 \| Go Fuck Yourself

04-26-2008, 07:29 AM	#16
Pete-KT Workin With The Devil Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: West Bloomfield, MI Posts: 51,532	anytime fartfly

04-26-2008, 08:14 PM	#17
Richard - Triplexcash Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 915	Great one, tnx __________________ Richard [email protected] ICQ: 322574184

04-26-2008, 08:15 PM	#18
GrouchyAdmin Now choke yourself! Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 12,085	That was a pretty good one. __________________ AIM: GrouchyGfy

04-26-2008, 08:22 PM	#19
Fusion ::Discodinero:: Registered User Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Down South Posts: 77	finally it has been explained! __________________ DiscoDinero.com ICQ: 467-528-020

04-27-2008, 03:13 AM	#20
Farang one sick puppy Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: Where the worst of the West meets the worst of the East Posts: 11,565	Some people cheat, they don't get married __________________ i sale uncensored chatbots Last edited by Farang; 04-27-2008 at 03:15 AM..

04-27-2008, 10:27 AM	#22
woj <&(©¿©)&> Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 47,882	that's pretty good, heh __________________ Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000 Affiliate program tools: Hosted Galleries Manager Banner Manager Video Manager Wordpress Affiliate Plugin Pic/Movie of the Day Fansign Generator Zip Manager