Should I feel bad about Firing my Assistant if.. - GoFuckYourself.com

RyuLion · 05-07-2008, 12:29 PM

There were no rules set in stone about work ethics (e.g. use of IM, use of Co. equipment for personal use).
We just set some rules because things were getting out of hand, and now she thinks we're taking advantage because "she's a girl". We set rules for employee and she's the only employee, so I can understand..
Now she says she doesn't feel the same working here, and she even told me "we are not friends anymore", and "I took you to meet my parents, and this is what I get".
I think she's just using all that as an excuse..
friends are friends and work is work.

We need to set things right for future growth..

NickPapageorgio · 05-07-2008, 12:34 PM

Bleh...fuck that shit. Fired immediately. Like you said, work is work, and if she's saying that kind of shit, then she already doesn't respect you as an employer. See ya babe...world needs plenty of go go dancers...

Rochard · 05-07-2008, 12:36 PM

So what are you saying, that an employee can't use a personal computer to check her own email, find someplace to buy lunch, or chat with her friends?

Get a life already. All employees do these things on company computers.

Before I got into porn I was working for a workman's comp company, and I every day I use to fight the IT department - I would try to check my personal email, they would block it, and I would find a way around it.

bDok · 05-07-2008, 12:39 PM

is she not getting the work she has done in a timely fashion. If people are doing their work then shit who cares. If you see that someone is just surfing myspace and not doing shit for hours... well fuck then you have an issue.

Ayla_SquareTurtle · 05-07-2008, 12:39 PM

Well I'm not sure if there's enough info to give much of an opinion, but if she's the only employee and thinks her IM time is being limited because she's a girl, I'd say she probably doesn't understand much about how jobs work. Chicks like that make it hard for the rest of us when we actually DO catch shit for being female. How old is she?

directfiesta · 05-07-2008, 12:41 PM

Did you fuck her ?

RyuLion · 05-07-2008, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by directfiesta

Did you fuck her ?

nope. never even did pass on her.

RyuLion · 05-07-2008, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ayla_SquareTurtle

Well I'm not sure if there's enough info to give much of an opinion, but if she's the only employee and thinks her IM time is being limited because she's a girl, I'd say she probably doesn't understand much about how jobs work. Chicks like that make it hard for the rest of us when we actually DO catch shit for being female. How old is she?

she's 29.

tony286 · 05-07-2008, 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RyuLion

There were no rules set in stone about work ethics (e.g. use of IM, use of Co. equipment for personal use).
We just set some rules because things were getting out of hand, and now she thinks we're taking advantage because "she's a girl". We set rules for employee and she's the only employee, so I can understand..
Now she says she doesn't feel the same working here, and she even told me "we are not friends anymore", and "I took you to meet my parents, and this is what I get".
I think she's just using all that as an excuse..
friends are friends and work is work.

We need to set things right for future growth..

It looks like you set the wrong tone from the start and are now trying to reel it in. Thats hard to do, its like a parent that allows a child run wild and then decides at 16 they are now going to rule with a iron fist.It doesnt work. The big question is : Is she doing her job?
If she is then I wouldn't fire her. I had a owner tell me the first rule in managing people is they aren't you. So you cant expect what you would expect from yourself,if you do you're going to be disappointed.

BradM · 05-07-2008, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tony404

It looks like you set the wrong tone from the start and are now trying to reel it in. Thats hard to do, its like a parent that allows a child run wild and then decides at 16 they are now going to rule with a iron fist.It doesnt work. The big question is : Is she doing her job?
If she is then I wouldn't fire her. I had a owner tell me the first rule in managing people is they aren't you. So you cant expect what you would expect from yourself,if you do you're going to be disappointed.

I agree 100%.

MarcWomack · 05-07-2008, 01:08 PM

did you fuck her or not? that can really change how you handle this.

RyuLion · 05-07-2008, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MadisonAvenue

did you fuck her or not? that can really change how you handle this.

Nope....

TDF · 05-07-2008, 01:19 PM

RyuLion · 05-07-2008, 01:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tony404

It looks like you set the wrong tone from the start and are now trying to reel it in. Thats hard to do, its like a parent that allows a child run wild and then decides at 16 they are now going to rule with a iron fist.It doesnt work. The big question is : Is she doing her job?
If she is then I wouldn't fire her. I had a owner tell me the first rule in managing people is they aren't you. So you cant expect what you would expect from yourself,if you do you're going to be disappointed.

yes, she was doing her job but like I said we're setting up for the future so we're layingout ground rules/proceedures etc.
I don't have children but I can see how that makes sense.
She has a different work-mentality than Americans.
It would take several paragraphs to explain how she works/thinks..

Brad Gosse · 05-07-2008, 01:27 PM

Very hard to do what you have done.

I try to be friendly with my staff but not their friend. I am still the boss when I have to be.

THo i do allow personal IM email and calls to happen because I think you are silly to expect them to be in work mode every minute.

TDF · 05-07-2008, 01:31 PM

carol.prime · 05-07-2008, 01:34 PM

Tell her that you're going to fire her if she didn't follow your rule. If she feels sorry and ask for another chance then, give it to her. but if she did that thing again, then you should fire her..

Christina Muller · 05-07-2008, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rochard

So what are you saying, that an employee can't use a personal computer to check her own email, find someplace to buy lunch, or chat with her friends?

Get a life already. All employees do these things on company computers.

Before I got into porn I was working for a workman's comp company, and I every day I use to fight the IT department - I would try to check my personal email, they would block it, and I would find a way around it.

Well at times we have 8 girls here and they cannot check thier personal emails and use icq for chatting with friends or finding places to buy lunch.

No one has ever quit in 7 years..why should l pay you to do this in my time on my eqipment?

Rochard set your rules and stick with them if a person cant understand work from play then dont employ them.

Would McDonalds let you sit in the kitchen playing on your blackberry NO .....

GrouchyAdmin · 05-07-2008, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TDF

I love you, and Amy Sedaris.

Bitch can't abide by the rules, bitch gotta go. There's a little bit of 'wiggle' room, but someone shouldn't be paid to spend half their day browsing eBay and making pretty backgrounds for their Outlook email if that's not their job.

Christina Muller · 05-07-2008, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GrouchyAdmin

I love you, and Amy Sedaris.

Bitch can't abide by the rules, bitch gotta go. There's a little bit of 'wiggle' room, but someone shouldn't be paid to spend half their day browsing eBay and making pretty backgrounds for their Outlook email if that's not their job.

Thats my thoughts too GrouchyAdmin

JayDeeZee · 05-07-2008, 01:40 PM

You're changing the rules now. It's difficult for people to accept change.

I suggest you offer her an incentive for agreeing to the changes.

or a pink slip if she won't agree.

sniperwolf · 05-07-2008, 01:41 PM

No, employee would be employee. She must know her place and her limits. Now, if she doesn't know how to obey his superiors then leave the company!

CurrentlySober · 05-07-2008, 01:44 PM

Can I answer you bluntly???

This is the second tread I have seen here from you, asking should you get rid of someone that is your friend?

Well, assuming that these are two separate threads about two separate people, then yo need to stop doing biz with friends...

More likely though, both threads are about the same person, and if so... You have answered your own question...

Christina Muller · 05-07-2008, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JayDeeZee

You're changing the rules now. It's difficult for people to accept change.

I suggest you offer her an incentive for agreeing to the changes.

or a pink slip if she won't agree.

Changes take place all the time as a small corp grows ,the only incentive l would offer is move with the change or take your pink slip..... explained of course in a polite way

BetChips · 05-07-2008, 01:46 PM

That suck man, I know the feeling. I hate loosing friends and I wish there was a way to take back the past to do things right. Best of luck to ya.

fluffygrrl · 05-07-2008, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RyuLion

Nope....

Why'd she "take you to meet her parents" then, and why did you go ?

J. Falcon · 05-07-2008, 01:55 PM

Seriously, this is the second time you ask this kind of question. You must be in a difficult position for sure. Hopefully you will learn with experience.

GrouchyAdmin · 05-07-2008, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Christina Muller

Thats my thoughts too GrouchyAdmin

We see eye to eye a lot. I'm not sure if that should scare you or not. Damn shame my job already entails more humiliation than I enjoy. We coulda had something..

RyuLion · 05-07-2008, 02:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fluffygrrl

Why'd she "take you to meet her parents" then, and why did you go ?

because it was her b-day. and her parents wanted to meet her boss.

BobG · 05-07-2008, 02:13 PM

i would say do a poll here and whatever the votes say, do that.

RyuLion · 05-07-2008, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ThatGuyInTheCorner

Can I answer you bluntly???

This is the second tread I have seen here from you, asking should you get rid of someone that is your friend?

Well, assuming that these are two separate threads about two separate people, then yo need to stop doing biz with friends...

More likely though, both threads are about the same person, and if so... You have answered your own question...

two different people. this one is the employee.

I'm trying to set shit right, as there's no organization here, everybody doing random shit with no real goals.

GrouchyAdmin · 05-07-2008, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RyuLion

because it was her b-day. and her parents wanted to meet her boss.

That's not what I'd call 'normal' working behavior; even if you're friends, going to an employees house to "meet the folks" does not have any professional connotation that I can think of.

Kard63 · 05-07-2008, 02:27 PM

you fucked up from the start brother.

fluffygrrl · 05-07-2008, 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RyuLion

because it was her b-day. and her parents wanted to meet her boss.

I think she duped you. Either you're naive, in which case you should really not be tkb, or else she's not in the workplace for working, and should be sent back to more appropiate husband hunting grounds.

Due · 05-07-2008, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JayDeeZee

You're changing the rules now. It's difficult for people to accept change.

I suggest you offer her an incentive for agreeing to the changes.

or a pink slip if she won't agree.

I disagree, I would be very surprised if the rules was changed, they where just put on paper

You would expect someone employeed by you would understand without having to put it in writing that in working hours you work

Vick! · 05-07-2008, 03:35 PM

Sleep with her as compensation, and fire her later.

And in future, never hire a friend unless you want to lose him/her.

RyuLion · 05-07-2008, 04:01 PM

final outcome:
we've been pointing out the fact that rules can be bent, we needed to put them in paper (as Due pointed out). she was pouring out a lot of steam these days because of them and since its gone down, we explained things more in detail.
(My Spanish isn't at college level, so it was hard to explain things to her.)
and yes, she gets her work done in a timely manner, and is very trustworthy (a lot of people her in Mexico City aren't).

Grapesoda · 05-07-2008, 04:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RyuLion

There were no rules set in stone about work ethics (e.g. use of IM, use of Co. equipment for personal use).
We just set some rules because things were getting out of hand, and now she thinks we're taking advantage because "she's a girl". We set rules for employee and she's the only employee, so I can understand..
Now she says she doesn't feel the same working here, and she even told me "we are not friends anymore", and "I took you to meet my parents, and this is what I get".
I think she's just using all that as an excuse..
friends are friends and work is work.

We need to set things right for future growth..

multi-million dollar sexual harassment suit coming down the pipe be my guess. $0.02 -bmb

CarlosTheGaucho · 05-07-2008, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tony404

I had a owner tell me the first rule in managing people is they aren't you. So you cant expect what you would expect from yourself,if you do you're going to be disappointed.

This is actually an advice worth gold - I had to figure that out the hard way..

05-07-2008, 12:29 PM	#1
RyuLion ClubDomCash.com Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: San Diego Posts: 32,258	Should I feel bad about Firing my Assistant if.. There were no rules set in stone about work ethics (e.g. use of IM, use of Co. equipment for personal use). We just set some rules because things were getting out of hand, and now she thinks we're taking advantage because "she's a girl". We set rules for employee and she's the only employee, so I can understand.. Now she says she doesn't feel the same working here, and she even told me "we are not friends anymore", and "I took you to meet my parents, and this is what I get". I think she's just using all that as an excuse.. friends are friends and work is work. We need to set things right for future growth.. __________________ Adult Biz Consultant A tech head since 1995

05-07-2008, 12:34 PM	#2
NickPapageorgio Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: NC Posts: 8,323	Bleh...fuck that shit. Fired immediately. Like you said, work is work, and if she's saying that kind of shit, then she already doesn't respect you as an employer. See ya babe...world needs plenty of go go dancers... __________________

05-07-2008, 12:36 PM	#3
Rochard Jägermeister Test Pilot Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: NORCAL Posts: 73,984	So what are you saying, that an employee can't use a personal computer to check her own email, find someplace to buy lunch, or chat with her friends? Get a life already. All employees do these things on company computers. Before I got into porn I was working for a workman's comp company, and I every day I use to fight the IT department - I would try to check my personal email, they would block it, and I would find a way around it. __________________ “The choice is no longer between right or left. The choice is between normal and crazy.” - Sarah Huckabee Sanders YNOT MAIL \| THE BEST ADULT MAILING SOLUTION

05-07-2008, 12:39 PM	#4
bDok Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: SD/OC/LA Posts: 1,917	is she not getting the work she has done in a timely fashion. If people are doing their work then shit who cares. If you see that someone is just surfing myspace and not doing shit for hours... well fuck then you have an issue. __________________ =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Warriors come out to plaAAaayyy! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

05-07-2008, 12:39 PM	#5
Ayla_SquareTurtle Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: 5000 full paysite reviews and counting Posts: 3,550	Well I'm not sure if there's enough info to give much of an opinion, but if she's the only employee and thinks her IM time is being limited because she's a girl, I'd say she probably doesn't understand much about how jobs work. Chicks like that make it hard for the rest of us when we actually DO catch shit for being female. How old is she? __________________ gone. long gone. aylasquareturtle .."a"t".. gmail dawt com

05-07-2008, 12:41 PM	#6
directfiesta Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Montreal, Quebec Posts: 29,665	Did you fuck her ? __________________ I know that Asspimple is stoopid ... As he says, it is a FACT ! But I can't figure out how he can breathe or type , at the same time ....

05-07-2008, 01:08 PM	#11
MarcWomack Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Location: Manila, Philippines Posts: 529	did you fuck her or not? that can really change how you handle this. __________________ Regards, MarcWomack.com Internet Advertising & Outsourcing Consultant

05-07-2008, 01:19 PM	#13
TDF Triple OG nigga on GFY Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: in the BP4L family compound Posts: 27,296

05-07-2008, 01:27 PM	#15
Brad Gosse Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Carpal Tunnel Posts: 2,616	Very hard to do what you have done. I try to be friendly with my staff but not their friend. I am still the boss when I have to be. THo i do allow personal IM email and calls to happen because I think you are silly to expect them to be in work mode every minute. __________________ Free Clipart

05-07-2008, 01:31 PM	#16
TDF Triple OG nigga on GFY Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: in the BP4L family compound Posts: 27,296	__________________ Sig heil

05-07-2008, 01:34 PM	#17
carol.prime Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Manila, Philippines Posts: 6,960	Tell her that you're going to fire her if she didn't follow your rule. If she feels sorry and ask for another chance then, give it to her. but if she did that thing again, then you should fire her.. __________________ Prime Outsourcing \| offshore staffing solutions \| manual labor \| employee leasing \| full time employees starting at $695.00/month = managed and dedicated icq.: 309570461 live chat

05-07-2008, 01:40 PM	#21
JayDeeZee Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,595	You're changing the rules now. It's difficult for people to accept change. I suggest you offer her an incentive for agreeing to the changes. or a pink slip if she won't agree. __________________

05-07-2008, 01:41 PM	#22
sniperwolf Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 17,743	No, employee would be employee. She must know her place and her limits. Now, if she doesn't know how to obey his superiors then leave the company! __________________ ~Accepting design works~

05-07-2008, 01:44 PM	#23
CurrentlySober Too lazy to wipe my ass Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: A Public Bathroom Posts: 38,644	Can I answer you bluntly??? This is the second tread I have seen here from you, asking should you get rid of someone that is your friend? Well, assuming that these are two separate threads about two separate people, then yo need to stop doing biz with friends... More likely though, both threads are about the same person, and if so... You have answered your own question... __________________ My AI Handywork... My Dream Gal... XXX 👁️ 👍️ 💩

05-07-2008, 01:46 PM	#25
BetChips Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 643	That suck man, I know the feeling. I hate loosing friends and I wish there was a way to take back the past to do things right. Best of luck to ya.

05-07-2008, 01:55 PM	#27
J. Falcon www.AdultCopywriters.com Industry Role: Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 31,618	Seriously, this is the second time you ask this kind of question. You must be in a difficult position for sure. Hopefully you will learn with experience. __________________ Adult Copywriters SEO Content for Porn Sites sales at adultcopywriters dot com

05-07-2008, 02:13 PM	#30
BobG Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: San Diego Posts: 4,274	i would say do a poll here and whatever the votes say, do that.

05-07-2008, 02:27 PM	#33
Kard63 Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: 237 619 975 Posts: 8,944	you fucked up from the start brother. __________________

05-07-2008, 03:35 PM	#36
Vick! Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: 20 00'24.00" N, 75 09'00.00 W Posts: 6,882	Sleep with her as compensation, and fire her later. And in future, never hire a friend unless you want to lose him/her. __________________ Affordable Quality Web Hosting

05-07-2008, 04:01 PM	#37
RyuLion ClubDomCash.com Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: San Diego Posts: 32,258	final outcome: we've been pointing out the fact that rules can be bent, we needed to put them in paper (as Due pointed out). she was pouring out a lot of steam these days because of them and since its gone down, we explained things more in detail. (My Spanish isn't at college level, so it was hard to explain things to her.) and yes, she gets her work done in a timely manner, and is very trustworthy (a lot of people her in Mexico City aren't). __________________ Adult Biz Consultant A tech head since 1995