one way to annoy the folks at airport security.... - GoFuckYourself.com

DarkJedi · 09-14-2008, 03:26 PM

when you put your carry on through the x-ray and they call you over
because they need to open your bag for inspection, wait for the moment
the security person opens it and shout ALLAH AKBAR! numerous times at
the top of your lungs...

...and watch hilarity ensue....

Dagwolf · 09-14-2008, 03:37 PM

Let me know when you're gonna do it, I could use a laugh.

DarkJedi · 09-14-2008, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dagwolf

Let me know when you're gonna do it, I could use a laugh.

they should make that a jackass stunt.

marketsmart · 09-14-2008, 03:41 PM

i prefer to stuff my laptop bag with all sorts of dildos and anal plugs...

then i pull them out one by one and put them on the conveyor belt...

jpwhits · 09-14-2008, 03:43 PM

After you've given blood and they have taken the blood away for storage start shouting I HAVE AIDS I HAVE AIDS.

LOLOLOLOL HILARITY ENSUES

DWB · 09-14-2008, 03:51 PM

Let me know how that works out for you.

In Hawaii I refused to take off my sandles and walk barefoot through the detector because I sliced the bottoms of my feet up bad while surfing and they were all bandaged up. I wasn't about to risk infection.

So I told them why I would not remove them and they called security on me. I was treated as if I was hostile and making threats on American lives. No shit. It was madness. I posted about it here I think. It was a HUGE ordeal at the airport that day. My only saving grace to the entire thing was that they, the dumb ass underpaid security team, will always be dumb ass low wage earning dip shits working shit jobs. Somehow I find peace in knowing that.

DWB · 09-14-2008, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marketsmart

i prefer to stuff my laptop bag with all sorts of dildos and anal plugs...

then i pull them out one by one and put them on the conveyor belt...

Been there.

Cliff notes about "the vibrator" in Cuba incident: Airport security.. checking all bags on entry... normal 50 questions shit... Cuba cut off from outside world, this older lady never seen a vibrator I guess... asked what it was... before I could answer she said "microphone" and started to sing into it and playing around... all in line could see and were in tears laughing...

DarkJedi · 09-14-2008, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirtyWhiteBoy

Been there.

Cliff notes about "the vibrator" in Cuba incident: Airport security.. checking all bags on entry... normal 50 questions shit... Cuba cut off from outside world, this older lady never seen a vibrator I guess... asked what it was... before I could answer she said "microphone" and started to sing into it and playing around... all in line could see and were in tears laughing...

This blows.

I went to Moscow about a week ago, and they have this new scanner machine with 2 yellow spots on the ground that you're supposed to place your feet on. Anyway, you stand there for a second while they scan you and then you're free to go. Cool shit.

marketsmart · 09-14-2008, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DirtyWhiteBoy

Been there.

Cliff notes about "the vibrator" in Cuba incident: Airport security.. checking all bags on entry... normal 50 questions shit... Cuba cut off from outside world, this older lady never seen a vibrator I guess... asked what it was... before I could answer she said "microphone" and started to sing into it and playing around... all in line could see and were in tears laughing...

thats classic...

poor cubans cant even get sex toys... i hope we open cuba up again soon...

btw, DWB.. do you go through the bahamas to go to cuba?

xmas13 · 09-14-2008, 04:01 PM

Must be hard for them to resist smashing your cry baby face. It's not their fucking problem if you have issues with your feet. I always approve when a cop or a guard kicks out some cocksucker. If you have problems with authority, it's your fucking problem not theirs. Consult a psychiatrist.

xmas13 · 09-14-2008, 04:10 PM

It's their job to check you out. So get over it, dumbasses.

Vicious_B · 09-14-2008, 04:15 PM

I lucked out one time in the airport on my way to a tattoo convention in Tampa. I had overslept and completely forgot about the army grade mace I had in my purse. I remembered just as I put it on the conveyer belt. I just said oh shit and the security guard asked me what was wrong. I explained him that I bartended at night and forgot I had it in my purse. He told me he had to confiscate it and then just laughed because it took me five minutes to dig it out of the bottom of my pocketbook. His only comment was how it really wouldnt have done me any good being it took me so long to find it.

Iron Fist · 09-14-2008, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xmas13

It's their job to check you out. So get over it, dumbasses.

sperbonzo · 09-14-2008, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by xmas13

It's their job to check you out. So get over it, dumbasses.

And if some terrorist managed to smuggle something onboard because of bandaged feet, then people would be crying that they WEREN'T doing their jobs right!

Manowar · 09-14-2008, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 12clicksMichele

I lucked out one time in the airport on my way to a tattoo convention in Tampa. I had overslept and completely forgot about the army grade mace I had in my purse. I remembered just as I put it on the conveyer belt. I just said oh shit and the security guard asked me what was wrong. I explained him that I bartended at night and forgot I had it in my purse. He told me he had to confiscate it and then just laughed because it took me five minutes to dig it out of the bottom of my pocketbook. His only comment was how it really wouldnt have done me any good being it took me so long to find it.

that's awesome

marketsmart · 09-14-2008, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sperbonzo

And if some terrorist managed to smuggle something onboard because of bandaged feet, then people would be crying that they WEREN'T doing their jobs right!

have you flown lately?

tsa are some of the most inept people i have ever seen..

the last time a flew, the x ray scanner looked away from the machine for like 10 seconds while she listened in on a co workers conversation... meanwhile the bagges just kept moving...

for fuck sake, dwb was just telling a story...

09-14-2008, 03:26 PM	#1
DarkJedi No Refunds Issued. Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: GFY Posts: 28,300	one way to annoy the folks at airport security.... when you put your carry on through the x-ray and they call you over because they need to open your bag for inspection, wait for the moment the security person opens it and shout ALLAH AKBAR! numerous times at the top of your lungs... ...and watch hilarity ensue....

09-14-2008, 03:37 PM	#2
Dagwolf President of Canada Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Leaving Hell, Entering Limbo Posts: 23,141	Let me know when you're gonna do it, I could use a laugh. __________________ Sleep well, and dream of large women.

09-14-2008, 03:43 PM	#5
jpwhits Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 1,045	After you've given blood and they have taken the blood away for storage start shouting I HAVE AIDS I HAVE AIDS. LOLOLOLOL HILARITY ENSUES __________________ ))<>((

09-14-2008, 04:01 PM	#10
xmas13 Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: GFY Posts: 5,176	Must be hard for them to resist smashing your cry baby face. It's not their fucking problem if you have issues with your feet. I always approve when a cop or a guard kicks out some cocksucker. If you have problems with authority, it's your fucking problem not theirs. Consult a psychiatrist. __________________ ICQ 557504926

09-14-2008, 04:10 PM	#11
xmas13 Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: GFY Posts: 5,176	It's their job to check you out. So get over it, dumbasses. __________________ ICQ 557504926 Last edited by xmas13; 09-14-2008 at 04:11 PM..

09-14-2008, 03:41 PM	#4
marketsmart HOMICIDAL TROLL KILLER Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Sunnybrook Institution for the Criminally Insane Posts: 20,419	i prefer to stuff my laptop bag with all sorts of dildos and anal plugs... then i pull them out one by one and put them on the conveyor belt...

09-14-2008, 03:51 PM	#6
DWB Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Encrypted. Access denied. Posts: 31,779	Let me know how that works out for you. In Hawaii I refused to take off my sandles and walk barefoot through the detector because I sliced the bottoms of my feet up bad while surfing and they were all bandaged up. I wasn't about to risk infection. So I told them why I would not remove them and they called security on me. I was treated as if I was hostile and making threats on American lives. No shit. It was madness. I posted about it here I think. It was a HUGE ordeal at the airport that day. My only saving grace to the entire thing was that they, the dumb ass underpaid security team, will always be dumb ass low wage earning dip shits working shit jobs. Somehow I find peace in knowing that.

09-14-2008, 04:15 PM	#12
Vicious_B Confirmed User Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 2,564	I lucked out one time in the airport on my way to a tattoo convention in Tampa. I had overslept and completely forgot about the army grade mace I had in my purse. I remembered just as I put it on the conveyer belt. I just said oh shit and the security guard asked me what was wrong. I explained him that I bartended at night and forgot I had it in my purse. He told me he had to confiscate it and then just laughed because it took me five minutes to dig it out of the bottom of my pocketbook. His only comment was how it really wouldnt have done me any good being it took me so long to find it. __________________ ICQ# 419 775 271