Instructions on how to blow your load like an elephant all over a slut's ass (inside) - GoFuckYourself.com

Dennis Rodman · 09-27-2008, 01:42 PM

Ok. So you get your prey wherever you think she should be. Somewhere close to home. Prefferably near your bedroom or the hood of your Ferrari.

Next you bend that ass over. Hike that skirt up. Look at those tight cheeks. You are salivating. Now spread em, drop your drawers and slide that pecker in.

Take a half step back and take a look at that monster sliding in and out. Yeah it looks good... yeah, you're the man... for now.... then what? You drop a load in .2 seconds and it is the equivalent of a teaspoon of maple syrup and your woman of the moment says, "When are you going to cum?"

FUCK! Here is what you do....

Head to the nearest grocery store and buy the fattest, longest cucumber you can find. Keep in the refrigerator... again... for now. For freshness.

Buy a dozen eggs. About an hour before your slut arrives to your destination be sure to whip these eggs in a single bowl until frothy. Yes, the froth will subside, but will retain it's thickness for later usage.

I forgot to add, shaving your balls will add to the effect. (Not really but it will make you feel more like a pornstar).

About 20 minutues before you are ready to fuck, excuse yourself for the obligatory "I have to take a massive shit" or "Wee-Wee time". Let her know you'll be right back. Leaving behind a baby wipes wrapper somewhere where you were conversing will ensure an ass licking if that's your thing.

It seems to work for me.

While she sit's on your bed, grab your chilled cucumber and pop it into the microwave. Hit POPCORN setting 5 times and while you are hitting the button cough with each button push.

If she asks whats wrong, just reply "Im putting my Cucumber in the microwave..." She will take this as a sexual innuendo and laugh it off. You can laugh loud with her as well - which in turn will disguise the popping and crunching of your shaftly veggie heating.

After she is distracted and the cucumber is done heating, cough once more and hit the OPEN button on the microwave door. Grab that fucker and slide it in the pocket of your khakis.

oh fuck, one sec.

nation-x · 09-27-2008, 01:47 PM

Why does she have to be a slut?

DWB · 09-27-2008, 01:50 PM

You had me at Hello.

09-27-2008, 01:42 PM	#1
Dennis Rodman So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 1,060	Instructions on how to blow your load like an elephant all over a slut's ass (inside) Ok. So you get your prey wherever you think she should be. Somewhere close to home. Prefferably near your bedroom or the hood of your Ferrari. Next you bend that ass over. Hike that skirt up. Look at those tight cheeks. You are salivating. Now spread em, drop your drawers and slide that pecker in. Take a half step back and take a look at that monster sliding in and out. Yeah it looks good... yeah, you're the man... for now.... then what? You drop a load in .2 seconds and it is the equivalent of a teaspoon of maple syrup and your woman of the moment says, "When are you going to cum?" FUCK! Here is what you do.... Head to the nearest grocery store and buy the fattest, longest cucumber you can find. Keep in the refrigerator... again... for now. For freshness. Buy a dozen eggs. About an hour before your slut arrives to your destination be sure to whip these eggs in a single bowl until frothy. Yes, the froth will subside, but will retain it's thickness for later usage. I forgot to add, shaving your balls will add to the effect. (Not really but it will make you feel more like a pornstar). About 20 minutues before you are ready to fuck, excuse yourself for the obligatory "I have to take a massive shit" or "Wee-Wee time". Let her know you'll be right back. Leaving behind a baby wipes wrapper somewhere where you were conversing will ensure an ass licking if that's your thing. It seems to work for me. While she sit's on your bed, grab your chilled cucumber and pop it into the microwave. Hit POPCORN setting 5 times and while you are hitting the button cough with each button push. If she asks whats wrong, just reply "Im putting my Cucumber in the microwave..." She will take this as a sexual innuendo and laugh it off. You can laugh loud with her as well - which in turn will disguise the popping and crunching of your shaftly veggie heating. After she is distracted and the cucumber is done heating, cough once more and hit the OPEN button on the microwave door. Grab that fucker and slide it in the pocket of your khakis. oh fuck, one sec. Last edited by Dennis Rodman; 09-27-2008 at 01:43 PM..

09-27-2008, 01:47 PM	#2
nation-x Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Rock Hill, SC Posts: 5,370	Why does she have to be a slut?

09-27-2008, 01:50 PM	#3
DWB Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Encrypted. Access denied. Posts: 31,779	You had me at Hello.