So...I convinced my wife to get in the studio and record her first single... - Page 2 - GoFuckYourself.com

AndreaM · 10-25-2008, 02:53 PM

Great voice, but I agree - overly digitized

couple of things to poke at...

the " I need you" part sounds like it should be a long echo, almost like a call and response, main, and backup. They're too even. (Sleep by Conjure One is a good example.) The first in the pair needs to be stronger (louder?) Also, I wanted it to have some more tension - build... in the music for that part.

The transition to the bridge falls completely flat for me. Tension build is totally lost.

Semi-Retired-Dave · 10-25-2008, 03:25 PM

Thanks for taking the time to listen and comment on the song. I agree on majority of it. Madonna, Britney, Justin and just about everyone else in the pop culture, this seems to be the style and its what sells...
I'll keep you guys posted on the next one and we'll make some changes for sure.

(This should be a A & R Board, some of you are really talented for this shit.)

Thanks again.

AndreaM · 10-25-2008, 03:27 PM

Played it for my 10 yr old daughter, who LOVED it BTW...

stevo · 10-25-2008, 04:07 PM

Improve the baseline (deeper/longer) to carry the melody.

Add something to the "i need you part" - to make the highlight chorus line stand out a little more - this is where she needs to go vocal and thump it out a little more in certain areas - instead of keeping it flat throughout. Will also make for a stronger finish. Maybe digitize everyother "I need you". At the end maybe also have the male vocal throw in a few I need you's. You also need throw in atleast one long/strong "i need you" in the song.

Vocal/digitization needs work in a few spots - for example i dont like how it sounds between 2:30-2:35.

At the end, take advantage of the duet, dude has a great voice. I never noticed a part where she sings a line, he sings a line, etc, and then they both go at it at the same time. That interaction would be a nice addition and closing.

bausch · 10-25-2008, 04:13 PM

Did she write the lyrics only or also the melody? Who wrote the melody?

The melody is catchy and the song sounds good.. I actually really like pop music and Britney type music. I have all her albums. It's not as good as Britney yet though... Britney's has the super catchiest song and the bass/beat and production of most of her songs is amazing...

Semi-Retired-Dave · 10-25-2008, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by andrea_stockroom

Played it for my 10 yr old daughter, who LOVED it BTW...

Fantastic, thank you!

Semi-Retired-Dave · 10-25-2008, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevo

Improve the baseline (deeper/longer) to carry the melody.

Add something to the "i need you part" - to make the highlight chorus line stand out a little more - this is where she needs to go vocal and thump it out a little more in certain areas - instead of keeping it flat throughout. Will also make for a stronger finish. Maybe digitize everyother "I need you". At the end maybe also have the male vocal throw in a few I need you's. You also need throw in atleast one long/strong "i need you" in the song.

Vocal/digitization needs work in a few spots - for example i dont like how it sounds between 2:30-2:35.

At the end, take advantage of the duet, dude has a great voice. I never noticed a part where she sings a line, he sings a line, etc, and then they both go at it at the same time. That interaction would be a nice addition and closing.

Yeah, that kid is going to blow up if he stays focused. He does have a great voice.
This was the first test, now to drag her back in the studio to make a complete album.
I agree on what you saying. You sound like you've had your hands in the music biz?

Semi-Retired-Dave · 10-25-2008, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bausch

Did she write the lyrics only or also the melody? Who wrote the melody?

The melody is catchy and the song sounds good.. I actually really like pop music and Britney type music. I have all her albums. It's not as good as Britney yet though... Britney's has the super catchiest song and the bass/beat and production of most of her songs is amazing...

Comparing her to Britney wouldn't be fair because this is her first song. But that is the direction I would take it. I know some people at the Radio Station but I wanted to wait for her to have a few good solid hits before I let them hear anything.

She wrote the lyrics with the producers and also the melody.

jimbona · 10-25-2008, 04:26 PM

Nice lyrics, had me tapping along to the beat and a catchy chorus as said by others.
I think the guy on the track adds an edge to the track, so I wouldnt cut it. Maybe some more harmonies together?

But overall like it very much and have played it a few times now hehe :P

bausch · 10-25-2008, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave

Comparing her to Britney wouldn't be fair because this is her first song. But that is the direction I would take it. I know some people at the Radio Station but I wanted to wait for her to have a few good solid hits before I let them hear anything.

She wrote the lyrics with the producers and also the melody.

Just out of curiosity, how much would it cost to hire a producer that's as good as the one who did this track? What's his going rate usually?

Compdoctor · 10-25-2008, 04:38 PM

I would buy it.

broots · 10-25-2008, 04:47 PM

Majorly fantastic. I hope you release it and make lots of money from it.

JFK · 10-25-2008, 04:49 PM

catchy tune

Midwest Shane · 10-25-2008, 08:57 PM

She has a chance for sure I liked it! It was a little umm outdated though it needs to be more of a dance/club thing to really get big. I am sure you could use the same lyrics but spice it up a bit and someone said to have the guy rap the part that would help a lot I think. I also just started my first album but I am not as brave as you guys to post it yet. It still needs some work but I do have my first single done and I'm thinking about doing a whole album but just don't have the time with all the other things I am working on. Tell her good luck it's amazing being in the studio and then hearing yourself. One last thing for all the people who said her voice has been changed umm yea I used all that same equipment and even more. Most every artist do that and very few actually have a great voice. It's all about looks and selling yourself not singing talent lol. I am not more then a average to good singer but with the right beat and lyrics you can still have a hit gotta love it. Melissa

bigkeg · 10-25-2008, 09:00 PM

Holy sh!t man. I figured this thread was gonna just be some husband who was "proud" of his wife making some shitty song, but this song is amazing. also whoever produced it did a fantastic job.

Props!!!

Semi-Retired-Dave · 10-25-2008, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HotMelissa

She has a chance for sure I liked it! It was a little umm outdated though it needs to be more of a dance/club thing to really get big. I am sure you could use the same lyrics but spice it up a bit and someone said to have the guy rap the part that would help a lot I think. I also just started my first album but I am not as brave as you guys to post it yet. It still needs some work but I do have my first single done and I'm thinking about doing a whole album but just don't have the time with all the other things I am working on. Tell her good luck it's amazing being in the studio and then hearing yourself. One last thing for all the people who said her voice has been changed umm yea I used all that same equipment and even more. Most every artist do that and very few actually have a great voice. It's all about looks and selling yourself not singing talent lol. I am not more then a average to good singer but with the right beat and lyrics you can still have a hit gotta love it. Melissa

Thanks Melissa, looking forward to hearing your song as well. This was the first song we made public, but the new ones we are working on are going to be more club/dance style.
Owning a club it will be nice to see what song will get people up and dancing and a good test for us. And you are right, everyone uses the same equipment and same style because that is what works.

Let us know when you drop your single or album.
Lots of talented people here that know about music. (I just realized)

Semi-Retired-Dave · 10-25-2008, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigkeg

Holy sh!t man. I figured this thread was gonna just be some husband who was "proud" of his wife making some shitty song, but this song is amazing. also whoever produced it did a fantastic job.

Props!!!

Thanks bigkeg

Brad Mitchell · 10-25-2008, 09:52 PM

Truly excellent! Congrats to both of you, I really like it.

Brad

Midwest Shane · 10-25-2008, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CyberAge-Dave

Thanks Melissa, looking forward to hearing your song as well. This was the first song we made public, but the new ones we are working on are going to be more club/dance style.
Owning a club it will be nice to see what song will get people up and dancing and a good test for us. And you are right, everyone uses the same equipment and same style because that is what works.

Let us know when you drop your single or album.
Lots of talented people here that know about music. (I just realized)

Yea I am sure you have the upper hand being able to test it out in your club! That would be nice maybe I will have to send you mine to check out to see what you think. Melissa

WWC · 10-25-2008, 11:01 PM

Sounds Dave, it sounds awesome, only the music in the backgroung is louder than her voice and she has a nice voice....good luck bro! good idea....

Semi-Retired-Dave · 10-25-2008, 11:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WWC-Raffi

Sounds Dave, it sounds awesome, only the music in the backgroung is louder than her voice and she has a nice voice....good luck bro! good idea....

Thanks Raf,
That's not the master copy and coming from her site it isn't the best quality.
Hope all is well.

Semi-Retired-Dave · 10-25-2008, 11:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HotMelissa

Yea I am sure you have the upper hand being able to test it out in your club! That would be nice maybe I will have to send you mine to check out to see what you think. Melissa

Send it over, lets hear it.

10-25-2008, 02:53 PM	#51
AndreaM Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: City of Lost Angels Posts: 174	Great voice, but I agree - overly digitized couple of things to poke at... the " I need you" part sounds like it should be a long echo, almost like a call and response, main, and backup. They're too even. (Sleep by Conjure One is a good example.) The first in the pair needs to be stronger (louder?) Also, I wanted it to have some more tension - build... in the music for that part. The transition to the bridge falls completely flat for me. Tension build is totally lost. __________________ Engagement Marketing/Brand Development K2Dynamics, Inc. [email protected] \| ICQ: 40794650 \| skype: andreajmata

10-25-2008, 03:25 PM	#52
Semi-Retired-Dave Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: LA Posts: 11,190	Thanks for taking the time to listen and comment on the song. I agree on majority of it. Madonna, Britney, Justin and just about everyone else in the pop culture, this seems to be the style and its what sells... I'll keep you guys posted on the next one and we'll make some changes for sure. (This should be a A & R Board, some of you are really talented for this shit.) Thanks again. __________________ Support a Good Cause

10-25-2008, 03:27 PM	#53
AndreaM Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: City of Lost Angels Posts: 174	Played it for my 10 yr old daughter, who LOVED it BTW... __________________ Engagement Marketing/Brand Development K2Dynamics, Inc. [email protected] \| ICQ: 40794650 \| skype: andreajmata

10-25-2008, 04:13 PM	#55
bausch Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 3,017	Did she write the lyrics only or also the melody? Who wrote the melody? The melody is catchy and the song sounds good.. I actually really like pop music and Britney type music. I have all her albums. It's not as good as Britney yet though... Britney's has the super catchiest song and the bass/beat and production of most of her songs is amazing... Last edited by bausch; 10-25-2008 at 04:18 PM..

10-25-2008, 04:26 PM	#59
jimbona Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 190	Nice lyrics, had me tapping along to the beat and a catchy chorus as said by others. I think the guy on the track adds an edge to the track, so I wouldnt cut it. Maybe some more harmonies together? But overall like it very much and have played it a few times now hehe :P __________________ Thanks Paul Thunder-Ball.net - Member

10-25-2008, 04:07 PM	#54
stevo Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Orlando, Florida Posts: 2,051	Improve the baseline (deeper/longer) to carry the melody. Add something to the "i need you part" - to make the highlight chorus line stand out a little more - this is where she needs to go vocal and thump it out a little more in certain areas - instead of keeping it flat throughout. Will also make for a stronger finish. Maybe digitize everyother "I need you". At the end maybe also have the male vocal throw in a few I need you's. You also need throw in atleast one long/strong "i need you" in the song. Vocal/digitization needs work in a few spots - for example i dont like how it sounds between 2:30-2:35. At the end, take advantage of the duet, dude has a great voice. I never noticed a part where she sings a line, he sings a line, etc, and then they both go at it at the same time. That interaction would be a nice addition and closing.

10-25-2008, 04:38 PM	#61
Compdoctor Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: True 3D Content Posts: 1,937	I would buy it. __________________ Content By Compdoctor- Original 3D Cartoon Work 3D Comics Anime Resource Accepting Toon/Hentai Links

10-25-2008, 04:47 PM	#62
broots Registered User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 49	Majorly fantastic. I hope you release it and make lots of money from it.

10-25-2008, 04:49 PM	#63
JFK FUBAR the ORIGINATOR Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: FUBARLAND Posts: 67,374	catchy tune __________________ FUBAR Webmasters - The FUBAR Times - FUBAR Webmasters Mobile - FUBARTV.XXX For promo opps contact jfk at fubarwebmasters dot com

10-25-2008, 08:57 PM	#64
Midwest Shane ValMidwest rocks Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Lincoln, Nebraska Posts: 1,202	She has a chance for sure I liked it! It was a little umm outdated though it needs to be more of a dance/club thing to really get big. I am sure you could use the same lyrics but spice it up a bit and someone said to have the guy rap the part that would help a lot I think. I also just started my first album but I am not as brave as you guys to post it yet. It still needs some work but I do have my first single done and I'm thinking about doing a whole album but just don't have the time with all the other things I am working on. Tell her good luck it's amazing being in the studio and then hearing yourself. One last thing for all the people who said her voice has been changed umm yea I used all that same equipment and even more. Most every artist do that and very few actually have a great voice. It's all about looks and selling yourself not singing talent lol. I am not more then a average to good singer but with the right beat and lyrics you can still have a hit gotta love it. Melissa __________________ ValMidWest.com MelissaMidwest.com FoxyJacky.com SweetAdri.com

10-25-2008, 09:00 PM	#65
bigkeg Registered User Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 32	Holy sh!t man. I figured this thread was gonna just be some husband who was "proud" of his wife making some shitty song, but this song is amazing. also whoever produced it did a fantastic job. Props!!!

10-25-2008, 09:52 PM	#68
Brad Mitchell Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Southfield, MI Posts: 9,812	Truly excellent! Congrats to both of you, I really like it. Brad __________________ President at MojoHost \| brad at mojohost dot com \| Skype MojoHostBrad 71 industry awards for hosting and professional excellence since 1999

10-25-2008, 11:01 PM	#70
WWC #1 Adult Content Provider Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Glendale, Ca Posts: 11,577	Sounds Dave, it sounds awesome, only the music in the backgroung is louder than her voice and she has a nice voice....good luck bro! good idea.... __________________ [email protected] ICQ : 494-353-230 Follow WWC on Twitter CLICK HERE! " CONTENT PROVIDER OF THE YEAR! " ~ 2007 , 2008 & 2009 XBIZ AWARDS WINNER! .......www.WorldWideContent.com / www.WorldWideFeeds.com...... WWC Nominated " Content Licensor of The Year " 2010 XBiz Awards !!!