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Old 01-05-2009, 06:24 PM   #1
Persius
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Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard!

It couldn't be simpler!

Check it out here
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Old 01-05-2009, 06:29 PM   #2
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OK I am glad I did not just jump back here after watching a few moments of that to say how absolutely fucking stupid that is. Resisted the urge and did not show everyone that I do not rush to judgement.
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Old 01-05-2009, 06:32 PM   #3
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that was too funny lol
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Old 01-05-2009, 06:33 PM   #4
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nice, i want one ;)
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Old 01-05-2009, 06:35 PM   #5
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the onion
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Old 01-05-2009, 06:41 PM   #6
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"Everything is only a few hundred clicks away!"

hahah
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Old 01-05-2009, 06:44 PM   #7
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I want one!
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Old 01-05-2009, 06:49 PM   #8
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LOL you gotta love the onion!
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Old 01-05-2009, 06:53 PM   #9
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fucking brilliant!
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Old 01-05-2009, 07:01 PM   #10
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HP has had a touch screen out for 2 months., and we saw a reason the other day that its good to have a keyboard.

A browser was opened and adjusted so that the X was off the top of the screen along with the top of the browser. There was no way to close it other then to reboot the system. No keyboard means no Ctrl Alt Del.
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Old 01-05-2009, 07:01 PM   #11
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love it....

lol
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Old 01-05-2009, 07:03 PM   #12
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"I'll buy almost anything if its shiny and made by Apple"

"Where people use computers for actual work and not just dicking around."

Hey I'm not dicking around. Bitch.
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Old 01-05-2009, 07:06 PM   #13
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"spent 45 minutes typing an email to a friend" lol
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Old 01-05-2009, 07:10 PM   #14
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quite the production for something fake
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Old 01-05-2009, 07:10 PM   #15
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epic failure lol..
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Old 01-05-2009, 07:13 PM   #16
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Old 01-05-2009, 07:13 PM   #17
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that is great
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Old 01-05-2009, 07:14 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EthnicLover View Post
"I'll buy almost anything if its shiny and made by Apple"

"Where people use computers for actual work and not just dicking around."

Hey I'm not dicking around. Bitch.
that's funny and I use a Mac....

the emails says, 'sent from a Macbook wheel so everyone knows you have one'


9g's for 40GB

to reduce energy screen goes black after 4 seconds

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Old 01-05-2009, 07:36 PM   #19
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really an impresive gadget
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Old 01-05-2009, 07:58 PM   #20
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That shit is lame, I type like 65 wpm and that would slow me down BIGtime.
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Old 01-05-2009, 08:06 PM   #21
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'Standing in the way of human progress'

" ... virtually unbreakable unless dropped or hit"

"... they are already hard at work on the next generation of the MacBook Wheel, which will be 4 oz lighter ... due to its lack of a screen, hard drive or wheel"

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Old 01-05-2009, 08:23 PM   #22
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"Everything is just a few hundred clicks away"

If you want a good laugh, read some of the "predicted sentences". I was laughing my ass off.
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Old 01-05-2009, 08:26 PM   #23
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that is seriously fucked!
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Old 01-05-2009, 08:40 PM   #24
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An attempt at humor, but FAILED miserably!
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Old 01-05-2009, 08:52 PM   #25
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That's nothing. I invented a laptop with no keyboard or wheel. You just use the newly made Clapper to type, open files etc.. One clap = highlight file(s), 2 claps = open file(s) or folder(s). the alphabet clapping technique will take some practice, but after you have it mastered you will be typing at 1000wpm. There are many other features, but they will not be revealed till 3 moths prior to the launch which will be in 2053. What I can tell you is that it will have 256MB of edo ram, an insanely fast dx266 cpu, a large hdd totaling 10MB of space which you can use for anything and everything, TWO floppy drives, a 2400baud modem for super fast internet access and the list goes one.. The best part is the price.. It's will blow EVERYTHING out of the water and only cost $5500. How do we manage to sell for that low? We have made deals with the best hardware providers to give YOU what you need at a price you can afford.

COMING SOON!
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Old 01-05-2009, 08:59 PM   #26
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wow...how stupid is that... I get the fact that anything Apple creates becomes a fashion accessory but ... fuck.. man... 45 mins to type an email... and I woudn't believe anyone who tells me the wheel is more efficient than the keyboard...no fucking way...

If Apple plans to pull this shit out of their asses they better include an optional keyboard .. otherwise this is preposterous Twattlecock! ....

BTW ... congratz to the winners (yeah .. stock owners!)
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Old 01-05-2009, 09:04 PM   #27
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wow...how stupid is that... I get the fact that anything Apple creates becomes a fashion accessory but ... fuck.. man... 45 mins to type an email... and I woudn't believe anyone who tells me the wheel is more efficient than the keyboard...no fucking way...

If Apple plans to pull this shit out of their asses they better include an optional keyboard .. otherwise this is preposterous Twattlecock! ....

BTW ... congratz to the winners (yeah .. stock owners!)
umm dude, I'm pretty sure it was just a joke
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Old 01-05-2009, 09:07 PM   #28
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wow...how stupid is that... I get the fact that anything Apple creates becomes a fashion accessory but ... fuck.. man... 45 mins to type an email... and I woudn't believe anyone who tells me the wheel is more efficient than the keyboard...no fucking way...

If Apple plans to pull this shit out of their asses they better include an optional keyboard .. otherwise this is preposterous Twattlecock! ....

BTW ... congratz to the winners (yeah .. stock owners!)
To Funny!
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Old 01-05-2009, 09:29 PM   #29
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Everything is just a few hundred clicks away.
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Old 01-05-2009, 09:30 PM   #30
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wow...how stupid is that... I get the fact that anything Apple creates becomes a fashion accessory but ... fuck.. man... 45 mins to type an email... and I woudn't believe anyone who tells me the wheel is more efficient than the keyboard...no fucking way...

If Apple plans to pull this shit out of their asses they better include an optional keyboard .. otherwise this is preposterous Twattlecock! ....

BTW ... congratz to the winners (yeah .. stock owners!)
Somebody's humor detector has malfunctioned, or maybe this post is brilliant sarcasm.
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Old 01-05-2009, 10:26 PM   #31
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wow...how stupid is that... I get the fact that anything Apple creates becomes a fashion accessory but ... fuck.. man... 45 mins to type an email... and I woudn't believe anyone who tells me the wheel is more efficient than the keyboard...no fucking way...

If Apple plans to pull this shit out of their asses they better include an optional keyboard .. otherwise this is preposterous Twattlecock! ....

BTW ... congratz to the winners (yeah .. stock owners!)
I see what you did there
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Old 01-05-2009, 10:35 PM   #32
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Hahaha, automatically says "Sent form a Macbook wheel"
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Old 01-06-2009, 01:31 AM   #33
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the onion, always good
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Old 01-06-2009, 01:41 AM   #34
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hmmm, looks like that would take some getting used to and seems slow. I would love to see one you could just give voice commands to and one that typed what you said to it.
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Old 01-06-2009, 01:55 AM   #35
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pretty lame.. I can type so fast.. why would I want to scroll for each letter, and it took that guy 45 minutes to type an email..... ridiculous
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Old 01-06-2009, 01:55 AM   #36
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That shit is lame, I type like 65 wpm and that would slow me down BIGtime.
But DOOOOD! The predicted sentences totally make up for it!!

I am soooo getting one!
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Old 01-06-2009, 02:21 AM   #37
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"I'll buy anything as long as it's shiny and made by apple"

Haha, I love The Onion.
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Old 01-06-2009, 02:26 AM   #38
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"I'll buy almost anything if its shiny and made by Apple"

"Where people use computers for actual work and not just dicking around."

Hey I'm not dicking around. Bitch.
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Old 01-06-2009, 02:29 AM   #39
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My favourite predicted sentence has to be:

"The advertisement was effective."

Brilliant!
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Old 01-06-2009, 02:54 AM   #40
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Did they say the battery last for only 19 minutes?
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Old 01-06-2009, 03:34 AM   #41
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haha. i love the onion.
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Old 01-06-2009, 03:40 AM   #42
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I love some of the replies here.
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Old 01-06-2009, 03:51 AM   #43
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I love some of the replies here.
Thank u ... I try to do my best but nowadays it is very hard to please the audience .....
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Old 01-06-2009, 04:44 AM   #44
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HP has had a touch screen out for 2 months., and we saw a reason the other day that its good to have a keyboard.

A browser was opened and adjusted so that the X was off the top of the screen along with the top of the browser. There was no way to close it other then to reboot the system. No keyboard means no Ctrl Alt Del.
Right click on taskbar icon, select move, and move it / close it ?
My computer / taskman / kill process
On screen keyboard..
...
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Old 01-06-2009, 05:01 AM   #45
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Old 01-06-2009, 06:13 AM   #46
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That was funny but some of the replies in this thread scare me
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Old 01-06-2009, 06:16 AM   #47
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whoahohohoho nice
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Old 01-06-2009, 06:18 AM   #48
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very nice!
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Old 01-06-2009, 06:26 AM   #49
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Nice one!!!
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Old 01-06-2009, 06:34 AM   #50
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Duh ok The Onion, funny ..
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