Funny Jokes - And then the fight started. - GoFuckYourself.com

Meeper · 02-03-2009, 08:08 PM

Here's a few jokes I read today, some of them are pretty good.

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

----------

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 180 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

----------

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...

----------

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""

Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...

----------

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.

I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.....

----------

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.

I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.

I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'

And then the fight started ...

----------

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? "

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started....

----------

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started....

Babaganoosh · 02-03-2009, 08:10 PM

Somebody posted this again...

and that's when the fight started.

mikesinner · 02-03-2009, 08:21 PM

Never heard this one before. Pretty funny.

Spunky · 02-03-2009, 08:25 PM

Heh heh,some of those were pretty good

StaceyJo · 02-03-2009, 08:39 PM

Hahahaha, thanks for sharing.

bobby666 · 02-04-2009, 01:19 AM

you wife must love you

tranza · 02-04-2009, 07:55 AM

Hahaha...Those ones are great!!

John-ACWM · 02-04-2009, 10:44 AM

All jokes great.Loved that with 0 to 180 in about 3 seconds

nation-x · 02-04-2009, 10:49 AM

Eric posted these about a week ago

Andy CHOOPA · 02-04-2009, 11:03 AM

Lol nice

02-03-2009, 08:08 PM	#1
Meeper Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Beverly Hills, CA Posts: 2,642	Funny Jokes - And then the fight started. Here's a few jokes I read today, some of them are pretty good. My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?' I said, 'Dust.' And then the fight started... ---------- My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 180 in about 3 seconds.' I bought her a scale. And then the fight started... ---------- My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started... ---------- I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"" Nah, she can order for herself." And then the fight started... ---------- A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.' And then the fight started..... ---------- Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.' My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?' And then the fight started ... ---------- I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? " It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?" And that's when the fight started.... ---------- My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes." So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend." And that's when the fight started.... __________________ *Nick "Meeper"* Amoroso [SIZE="1"] Hustler.com / BarelyLegal.com / HustlersReviews.com / HustlerTube.com / HustlerShare.com**

02-03-2009, 08:10 PM	#2
Babaganoosh ♥♥♥ Likes Hugs ♥♥♥ Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: /home Posts: 15,841	Somebody posted this again... and that's when the fight started. __________________ I like pie.

02-03-2009, 08:21 PM	#3
mikesinner Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 5,646	Never heard this one before. Pretty funny. __________________ My Best Sponsors MPl l Camsl CUMSHOTSl LESBIANSl FETISHl BJ RACESl TEEN BJl BSDMl VODl USE YOUR PC TO CURE CANCER

02-03-2009, 08:25 PM	#4
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,939	Heh heh,some of those were pretty good __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

02-03-2009, 08:39 PM	#5
StaceyJo Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 8,960	Hahahaha, thanks for sharing. __________________ /_______ WebCashMaker ______\ \| _TeenageDecadence - Young Board Naked Teens. \| \| ____ NonNudeGirls - Female Puberty Photos. ____ \| \| _ HerSelfPics - The ORIGINAL exGF SelfPic site. __ \| \.______ xPosing - Wife Photosharing site. _______./

02-04-2009, 01:19 AM	#6
bobby666 boots are my religion Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Heart of europe Posts: 21,765	you wife must love you __________________

02-04-2009, 07:55 AM	#7
tranza ICQ: 197-556-237 Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: BRASIL !!! Posts: 57,559	Hahaha...Those ones are great!! __________________ I'm just a newbie.

02-04-2009, 10:44 AM	#8
John-ACWM Work Work Work Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: EU Posts: 20,060	All jokes great.Loved that with 0 to 180 in about 3 seconds __________________ Video Chat Forum

02-04-2009, 10:49 AM	#9
nation-x Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Rock Hill, SC Posts: 5,370	Eric posted these about a week ago

02-04-2009, 11:03 AM	#10
Andy CHOOPA Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Red Bank NJ Posts: 1,156	Lol nice __________________ Andy Choopa ICQ: 412-203-056 DUAL XEONS W/100 Mbps UNMETERED- $199/ month!!