I am goin out tonight and I am gonna get laid - Page 2 - GoFuckYourself.com

CaptainHowdy · 02-16-2009, 06:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adultmix

I want one of those...

BusterBunny · 02-16-2009, 06:13 AM

tranza · 02-16-2009, 06:38 AM

Damn, that was a great fail...i'm sorry for that and hope better nights to come soon!!

BigDickDFromCincinnati · 02-16-2009, 06:39 AM

good luck with that let us know how that works out

CarlosTheGaucho · 02-16-2009, 08:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigDickDFromCincinnati

good luck with that let us know how that works out

Quote:

Originally Posted by CarlosTheGaucho

Ok so it was an epochal and complete fail, here's a brief breakdown and the lessons I learned:

Lesson 1 - don't ever let anyone who's a metrosexual 'think'

Of course my first suggestion to see all the clubs and pubs is the only way how to guarantee effective picking up, my managing abilities are well proven. But I let my metro bud to choose the place and we went, not surprisingly, to a club called "metro".

It had everything I expected - considerable amount of white trash redneck "entrepreneurs" with a beer belly, shaved head and a 2k cell phone they can't even operate, super fake annoying wannabe ho's that are dangerous to your mental health if they talk, and of course a fake ass 'friend' DJ Lobotomy that played a mixture of incredibly loud, silly and unoriginal bullshit, Metro bros saved on the entry and they were happy.

Not even that scared me off, I'm a born winner so I was approaching a couple ho's with more make up than a drug store on them, and shit hit the fan.

They immediately made me aware that I don't look lucrative enough and shouldn't even try to chat with them.

All Right, so even I had more money in my pocket than what they probably make in a month if you don't wear gay clothes, and if you look and talk differently you gotta be broke - big ass logic from someone with a fake 1.99 USD watch.

I wasn't even giving them shit back, cause that would be quite dangerous considering the number of their bald "fans" that were ballin around in the middle of their 24th beer that night.

After this insult I immediately ordered a cab - kidnapped my metro bud from the club, stuck him into the trunk and we were off to another place, that I, with my proven logic expected to suck just about the same.

Lesson # 2 - don't try to be too smart with rednecks

Off we go, ok so I am entering another metro sex dome, this place has one good thing about it - if you're lucky you can chat up older girls that are in their 30's, sexually active and more likely to be up for a pseudo sensible pseudo amusing conversation.

First thing I made friends with the security guys, cause I was only going to expect when some Zorro the Barn hero starts shit with me so I wanted to make sure they know about my non conflicting, witty and insane character.

Second thing - I made sure that there'll be some actual service paying one of the bar girls 40 pct. gratuity on every order to be our personal waitress, cause I was surely not interested in waving on them with money counting hay straws flying round.

I really got to buy a drink to a really cute blonde in her early 30's, the thing is that no matter how hard did i try to keep the conversation light, she started about personal shit.

At the end I lost my temper and gave her such a rhetoric speech about her life that I probably totally changed her inner views of her future and presence. I was so intense that she had to go home to think about it = I was too smart with her = fail.

I got so much attitude and so much temper that I immediately told off to the whole hen house on the bar to have the fuck some fun and not to sit around like after lobotomy.

Not that it would have any effect since they stared at me like like a brain dead sheep staring at a jet.

Lesson # 3 - better don't expect anything at all!

Fuckin clueless boring mediocre redheads, so why the hell do the girls wear skirts long legs and tits and a make up, getting drunk over there at 4 AM? To go home alone and watch the ceiling?

Fuck that, I was tellin straight away I want to have something extremely memorable to remember that night, big goals.

At the end my metro bud got so metrosexy he picked up some crack whore look a like and we went to another club, she was lookin horrible, huge like a godzilla - he's a former ice hockey player but she was even more massive.

At the other place she started to get annoying so I said FUCK, waited on him for another 15 minutes and then left, I went to book me a hotel room since I should originally oversleep at his house - unfortunately their little brothel was already closed as it was about 6 AM so I couldn't make the last minute power play save.

Most terrible and desperate club experience ever!

Marie · 02-16-2009, 09:07 AM

Hehe I saw some guy ("self-proclaimed casanova") coach another guy (couldn't score) into being a player last week on Dr Phil. He sucked, you should have a girl coach you through it!

Mr. Romance · 02-16-2009, 09:13 AM

Ahhhhhh Romance

Mr. Romance

CarlosTheGaucho · 02-16-2009, 09:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marie

Hehe I saw some guy ("self-proclaimed casanova") coach another guy (couldn't score) into being a player last week on Dr Phil. He sucked, you should have a girl coach you through it!

I'll be glad to take a couple practical lessons from you my dear anytime, we can go through a couple model situations together.

CarlosTheGaucho · 02-16-2009, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Romance

Ahhhhhh Romance

Mr. Romance

Gerard, how much do you charge for a consultation in Romance? I'm in!

K R I S T E N · 02-16-2009, 12:14 PM

Carlos - you always make me laugh - you are awesome cant wait to see you again!

CarlosTheGaucho · 02-16-2009, 01:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XBizKristen

Carlos - you always make me laugh - you are awesome cant wait to see you again!

Thanks, we're making a classic couple actually:

I'll print this page out and keep it in my vallet to calm down the adrenaline rush if i would be facing a frigid hen house ever again.

CarlosTheGaucho · 02-16-2009, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tranza

Damn, that was a great fail...i'm sorry for that and hope better nights to come soon!!

Dude, it would be an easier quest to pick up Beyonce Knowles than to score in that shit
town!

I'm only happy I survived and noone even threw a hay fork on me.

OMG Jim · 02-16-2009, 02:53 PM

It sounds like you are "2 Wild and Crazy Guys" Carlos!

Laurel · 02-16-2009, 03:06 PM

So did you get laid, on VDAY?

Lilit · 02-16-2009, 03:52 PM

So....

or

?

Carlos, we want the end of the story

CarlosTheGaucho · 02-17-2009, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlmightyJim

It sounds like you are "2 Wild and Crazy Guys" Carlos!

Jim, I gotta admit that although I thought I have a pretty good overview about most of the classic comedy works, I gotta check this out!

RyuLion · 02-17-2009, 03:09 PM

funniest thread ever!!!!!
lol..

CarlosTheGaucho · 02-17-2009, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Laurel

So did you get laid, on VDAY?

I gotta fix that today, I'm in Prague so the chances are about 99.9 pct. higher.

CarlosTheGaucho · 02-17-2009, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TopBucks Lilit

So....

or

?

Carlos, we want the end of the story

More like this

CarlosTheGaucho · 02-17-2009, 08:12 PM

Ok so my urge is at the end, it's 4:11 AM here - Prague delivered and I just went back to my room - mission accomplished. All that was needed was to be real and to spend about 35 bucks.

Fuck the small town idiots.

Z · 02-17-2009, 08:20 PM

CTG's a PIMP!

CarlosTheGaucho · 02-18-2009, 04:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Z

CTG's a PIMP!

What's up Z, haven't been in touch since August.

We gotta figure out what's new at your end.

fuzzylogic · 02-18-2009, 04:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CarlosTheGaucho

Ok so my urge is at the end, it's 4:11 AM here - Prague delivered and I just went back to my room - mission accomplished. All that was needed was to be real and to spend about 35 bucks.

Fuck the small town idiots.

glad to hear you got a room

spider_x · 02-18-2009, 05:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fuzzylogic

glad to hear you got a room

..and a 35 dollar rubber vagina!

CarlosTheGaucho · 02-18-2009, 05:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fuzzylogic

glad to hear you got a room

Quote:

Originally Posted by spider_x

..and a 35 dollar rubber vagina!

Such an extremely charming gentleman and a raging stallion like me wouldn't waste his manhood on any of these constant GFY habits.

CarlosTheGaucho · 02-18-2009, 05:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RyuLion

funniest thread ever!!!!!
lol..

Glad you understand it mi hermano, some idiots seem to never get my sarcasm - well what would you expect from someone who was raised on an idiot jumping into a pile of shit from 100 feet being the most popular prime time tv show.

CarlosTheGaucho · 02-18-2009, 06:06 PM

I would appreciate Anal Hobbit's tip on how to score without having to deal with all the regular shit, I heard there exists such a tip but I can't find it.

Anyone points me the right direction?

CarlosTheGaucho · 02-20-2009, 01:11 AM

I got a serious case of flu and I guess metrosexuals with a rooster and tight ass pants are immune to it so they can bug the shit out of real folks, so I blame them for this too!

CarlosTheGaucho · 02-21-2009, 04:35 AM

NHL trivia - who won the 1994 Stanley Cup?

02-16-2009, 06:13 AM	#52
BusterBunny perverted justice decoy Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: unborn still in the womb connected via blackberry Posts: 19,291	done __________________ my sig caught gonoherpasyphilaids and died

02-16-2009, 06:38 AM	#53
tranza ICQ: 197-556-237 Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: BRASIL !!! Posts: 57,559	Damn, that was a great fail...i'm sorry for that and hope better nights to come soon!! __________________ I'm just a newbie.

02-16-2009, 09:07 AM	#56
Marie Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Location: Netherlands Posts: 3,024	Hehe I saw some guy ("self-proclaimed casanova") coach another guy (couldn't score) into being a player last week on Dr Phil. He sucked, you should have a girl coach you through it! __________________ Maria - maria at photorama.nl - Photorama International CONTENT LOADS of content in various niches - many photo/video combinations! CONTENT

02-16-2009, 09:13 AM	#57
Mr. Romance The Face of Romance and the Symbol of Freedom Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The America's Posts: 7,821	Ahhhhhh Romance Mr. Romance __________________ Free Leads Program now paying up to $6 Gerard-Director of Global Sales Sign up Here: CamStarCash Check out: FreeCamStars ICQ: 330 662 299 gerard at freecamstars . com

02-16-2009, 12:14 PM	#60
K R I S T E N Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 2,438	Carlos - you always make me laugh - you are awesome cant wait to see you again! __________________ K R I S T E N KSquaredDynamics, Inc. ~ Taking Care of {YOUR} Business

02-16-2009, 06:39 AM	#54
BigDickDFromCincinnati Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 173	good luck with that let us know how that works out

02-16-2009, 02:53 PM	#63
OMG Jim Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Atlanta Posts: 3,153	It sounds like you are "2 Wild and Crazy Guys" Carlos! __________________ ICQ: 254 914 537 - Skype: AlmightyJim

02-16-2009, 03:06 PM	#64
Laurel Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Vino Land Posts: 1,438	So did you get laid, on VDAY? __________________ [email protected] [email protected] [email protected] Skype: Laurel.Hertz SwankDollars - Great Retention with their Member's Rewards Program. ARLCash.com PascalSubSluts.com features BDSM content like no other. EdPowers.com has porn's original dirty old man, Ed Powers. SexyMomma.com featuring sexy moms and daughters. LaceyStarr.com - Get ready for extreme granny action! Got Chargebacks? Yeah, we can make those go away.

02-16-2009, 03:52 PM	#65
Lilit Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 1,645	So.... or ? Carlos, we want the end of the story __________________ Nadya-EuroRevenue ICQ: 400525519 nadya[at]eurorevenue[dot]com Skype: nadyay7 See who I am at AdultWhosWho

02-17-2009, 03:09 PM	#67
RyuLion ClubDomCash.com Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: San Diego Posts: 32,181	funniest thread ever!!!!! lol.. __________________ Adult Biz Consultant A tech head since 1995

02-17-2009, 08:12 PM	#70
CarlosTheGaucho Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 9,510	Ok so my urge is at the end, it's 4:11 AM here - Prague delivered and I just went back to my room - mission accomplished. All that was needed was to be real and to spend about 35 bucks. Fuck the small town idiots. __________________ CTG Media \| skype: carlosprague \| cb \|at\| ctgmedia \|dot\| net \| Want to make more with your Dating Traffic? \| Read My Educational Series \| Read my Adult Biz Chronicles \| Did your ad revenue drop by 40 pct. or more last year? Last edited by CarlosTheGaucho; 02-17-2009 at 08:13 PM..

02-17-2009, 08:20 PM	#71
Z Vidi Vici Veni Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 6,308	CTG's a PIMP!

02-18-2009, 06:06 PM	#77
CarlosTheGaucho Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 9,510	I would appreciate Anal Hobbit's tip on how to score without having to deal with all the regular shit, I heard there exists such a tip but I can't find it. Anyone points me the right direction? __________________ CTG Media \| skype: carlosprague \| cb \|at\| ctgmedia \|dot\| net \| Want to make more with your Dating Traffic? \| Read My Educational Series \| Read my Adult Biz Chronicles \| Did your ad revenue drop by 40 pct. or more last year?

02-20-2009, 01:11 AM	#78
CarlosTheGaucho Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 9,510	I got a serious case of flu and I guess metrosexuals with a rooster and tight ass pants are immune to it so they can bug the shit out of real folks, so I blame them for this too! __________________ CTG Media \| skype: carlosprague \| cb \|at\| ctgmedia \|dot\| net \| Want to make more with your Dating Traffic? \| Read My Educational Series \| Read my Adult Biz Chronicles \| Did your ad revenue drop by 40 pct. or more last year?

02-21-2009, 04:35 AM	#79
CarlosTheGaucho Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 9,510	NHL trivia - who won the 1994 Stanley Cup? __________________ CTG Media \| skype: carlosprague \| cb \|at\| ctgmedia \|dot\| net \| Want to make more with your Dating Traffic? \| Read My Educational Series \| Read my Adult Biz Chronicles \| Did your ad revenue drop by 40 pct. or more last year?