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Old 01-08-2010, 07:21 AM   #1
Fletch XXX
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I honestly think this is what I was missing (the best days of my life are now)

for years I kinda just wandered, but for the past year as we have prepared for this baby, I am left standing here feeling more complete, happy, and not even concerned with many of the cares of the past.

Having been sober now for years has left me dealing with my emotions face to face instead of escaping via daily alcohol, and I am thankful my daughter will never see me in the state I was when i was drunk every single day of my life.

heres to a new year and the best days of my life.
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Old 01-08-2010, 08:36 AM   #2
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Old 01-08-2010, 08:39 AM   #3
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sobriety is a beautiful thing
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Old 01-08-2010, 08:40 AM   #4
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Old 01-08-2010, 08:42 AM   #5
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Old 01-08-2010, 08:42 AM   #6
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That's beautiful, Fletch! Kids have a way of confirming we've won the jackpot!
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Old 01-08-2010, 08:45 AM   #8
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sobriety is a beautiful thing
I started drinking at very young age, I had my 16th,17th and 18th birthdays in a bar room. I was sneaking in bars and down here in new orleans, the law was 18 when I was coming up, so we were in bars at 15.

It led to decades of dependency, I think I was alcoholic before finishing highschool, it just jkept getting worse until i hit bottom and had to stop.

its been 5 years and I dont even feel or look like the same person, I am totally healthy, I workout a little now, I feel great.

I dont mean to come off as Mr Positive Paul, you guys know I have my negative side too, but after my child was born I have seen an even further shift in me towards being more complete, no other way to describe it.

I lay down at night with my baby and dont even have urge to dri8nk, where as 6 years ago I couldnt go two days without drinking until I puked.

Life is good on this side, and I have no intentions of ever going back.

It feels great just to be alive, i cant explain it. Moment of clarity i guess.
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Old 01-08-2010, 08:49 AM   #9
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That's beautiful, Fletch! Kids have a way of confirming we've won the jackpot!
I think anyone who has seen my posts know I love to be brutally honest, so...

I was very scared at first, we put off having a child for as long as possible, we are both in mid thirties-ish now so we went for it, and its been the best time of my life.

I had seen people posting good things about being a parent and I always said "blah, kid will only get in way of partying everyday."

Now, those urges are nowhere to be found, and those fears I felt were all in my head.

I cried when i first looked into my daughters eyes and for the first couple days teared up if I stared into her eyes for too long, it moved me, I finally had made something beautiful in this world, it made me want to be a better me, a stronger me, a healthier me.

I cant describe it other than just being honest, I dont go to AA, so I always feel good just posting this stuff to get it off my chest, it feels great.
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Old 01-08-2010, 08:53 AM   #10
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Congrat's on being a happy father!

However, the thought of my gf telling me she is pregnant any time soon scares the shit outta me. I guess you gotta be ready and plan for it to be excited.
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Old 01-08-2010, 08:55 AM   #11
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kids do that to you! Enjoy them now... they do grow up.
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Old 01-08-2010, 08:58 AM   #12
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Congrat's on being a happy father!

However, the thought of my gf telling me she is pregnant any time soon scares the shit outta me. I guess you gotta be ready and plan for it to be excited.
yes, unlike almost every single person I know (family & friends) we waited until we were in thirties. I partied very, very hard my entire 20s. From New Orleans to Vegas to Long Beach binge drinking from coast to coast bong party, road trips, drugs, booze, same old story. I didnt even plan on living to see 30, I always thought I would burn out at 27 like Janis or Jim Morrison, didnt happen, my life was in shambles and I was fucked up bad.

So, we waited until we were no longer in an apartment, we started buying house after I sobered up (wouldnt have been able to purchase a house drunk everyday) and waited until we were both financially and mentally ready.

I cannot understand how people have kids at young age and make it, I am 33, and is the challenge of my life thus far.

Last night was gre4at, baby sept all night, but two nights previous, she was up all night and it puts strain on both parents trying to do their own thing, get their work from home done, and manage the household. I recommend waiting until 30s to anyone, however, most slip up and creampie some broad they just met and end up with a kid.

Its no way to bring a human into the world. I was planned and born to married couple and I always said I would do the same for my child.

We got married, bought house, THEn started planning pregnancy, its like people forgot the steps LOL
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Old 01-08-2010, 08:58 AM   #13
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That's beautiful Fletch! Here's to a great 2010 and beyond!
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Old 01-08-2010, 09:01 AM   #14
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kids do that to you! Enjoy them now... they do grow up.
I am learning how fast children grow firsthand! She is only 1 month 2 weeks or so and I can feel the difference in her weight and see the change in her appearance, how she holds her head up, her eye movement, i notice every little change in her everyday.

I forget the number but it is millions and millions of brain triggers going on right now as she grows the first year.

its amazing to watch her start looking around and smiling at us when she sees me or my wife, this truly is what life is about. I watch mommy breastfeed everyday and it touches me everytime seeing my daughter nourished by her mother.
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Old 01-08-2010, 09:04 AM   #15
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have a drink on me :-)

congrats thou and best for 2010
...
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Old 01-08-2010, 09:04 AM   #16
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It is nice to hear that...keep moving on this way..
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Old 01-08-2010, 09:13 AM   #17
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Yup, keep it going bro! It's great to hear that you're happy.
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Old 01-08-2010, 09:19 AM   #18
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she's a serious cutie. you need to update with some more pics you know where
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Old 01-08-2010, 09:19 AM   #19
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wasn't it you who preached "drink more post more"?)) great transformation you went through past few years. being complete, happy and balanced is very hard to get back once you cross the line, kudos to you Fletch for making it. take care of your family and enjoy life!
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Old 01-08-2010, 09:20 AM   #20
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Old 01-08-2010, 09:22 AM   #21
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Old 01-08-2010, 09:22 AM   #22
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wasn't it you who preached "drink more post more"?)) great transformation you went through past few years. being complete, happy and balanced is very hard to get back once you cross the line, kudos to you Fletch for making it. take care of your family and enjoy life!
yes I started Drink More Post More, and it fueled my drinking even more. Drinking everyday, wasting away on forums is not healthy.

I stopped drinking in 2005 after we launched and I hit rock bottom.
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Old 01-08-2010, 09:24 AM   #23
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she's a serious cutie. you need to update with some more pics you know where
thanks man! I will update with some more pics. I know I been slacking on stuff like that.
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Old 01-08-2010, 09:24 AM   #24
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for years I kinda just wandered, but for the past year as we have prepared for this baby, I am left standing here feeling more complete, happy, and not even concerned with many of the cares of the past.

Having been sober now for years has left me dealing with my emotions face to face instead of escaping via daily alcohol, and I am thankful my daughter will never see me in the state I was when i was drunk every single day of my life.

heres to a new year and the best days of my life.

I posted a congrats to you in some other thread few week ago
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Old 01-08-2010, 09:40 AM   #25
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This thread is making me thirsty.
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Old 01-08-2010, 09:43 AM   #26
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Congrats man!
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Old 01-08-2010, 09:43 AM   #27
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Quiet, I just upped a pic for you on Facebook.

Anyone else on Facebook, add me: "Fletch Triplex" on facebook
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Old 01-08-2010, 09:53 AM   #28
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Great story.....Don't want to see anyone die in their 30's. Now the next challenge will be to see if you can stay sober when she is a teenager
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Old 01-08-2010, 09:54 AM   #29
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I posted a congrats to you in some other thread few week ago
I have been posting a little (bursts in the morning when all is quiet) but honestly have not been scrolling nowehre near as many threads as I used to over the past couple months, just do not have time, so I mustve missed it!

THANKS NOW!
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Old 01-08-2010, 09:55 AM   #30
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Great story.....Don't want to see anyone die in their 30's. Now the next challenge will be to see if you can stay sober when she is a teenager

buahaha good post
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Old 01-08-2010, 09:56 AM   #31
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I cannot understand how people have kids at young age and make it, I am 33, and is the challenge of my life thus far.
It's easy to be a parent.

It's harder to be a good parent.
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Old 01-08-2010, 10:12 AM   #32
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yes I started Drink More Post More, and it fueled my drinking even more. Drinking everyday, wasting away on forums is not healthy.

I stopped drinking in 2005 after we launched and I hit rock bottom.

ahh so thats why you were so mean to me for so many years. lol good to hear you have your stuff together and bringing an amazing baby to the world. you guys are going to make great parents. xoxox
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Old 01-08-2010, 10:14 AM   #33
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ahh so thats why you were so mean to me for so many years. lol good to hear you have your stuff together and bringing an amazing baby to the world. you guys are going to make great parents. xoxox
mean to you? I cant imagine why, but my apologies for anything I did while in those bad times of my life. I am not that person any longer.

thanks for the kind words.

like hatebreed says: make ammends where ya can but stay focused.
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Old 01-08-2010, 10:16 AM   #34
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wasn't it you who preached "drink more post more"?)) great transformation you went through past few years. being complete, happy and balanced is very hard to get back once you cross the line, kudos to you Fletch for making it. take care of your family and enjoy life!
anybody want to buy a webmaster forum?
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Old 01-08-2010, 10:18 AM   #35
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I have been posting a little (bursts in the morning when all is quiet) but honestly have not been scrolling nowehre near as many threads as I used to over the past couple months, just do not have time, so I mustve missed it!

THANKS NOW!
Here you go
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Congratulations. Not only on your child but really changing your life around the last few years. From drinking more and posting more to clean, happy and fatherhood.
Many props

http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=945714
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Old 01-08-2010, 10:21 AM   #36
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Same age as you and only now even starting to entertain the idea of spawning.It would involve fertility treatment for me which makes it extra scary but the idea doesn't scare me off now as much as it did even a couple years back.
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Old 01-08-2010, 10:21 AM   #37
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thanks again, very kind words. And yes, I am guilty of not getting back to that thread. Had I done so, I would have surely bumped it!

Again, from my soul, thanks.
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Old 01-08-2010, 10:31 AM   #38
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My kids definitely changed my life. 2 births in the span of 12 months will probably do that to anyone.

In the past I couldn't have cared less if I lived to be 35. Now because of them, I'm shooting for at least 100.
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Old 01-08-2010, 10:33 AM   #39
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thanks again, very kind words. And yes, I am guilty of not getting back to that thread. Had I done so, I would have surely bumped it!

Again, from my soul, thanks.
Just giving you a hard time
Keep up the good work
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Old 01-08-2010, 10:36 AM   #40
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In the past I couldn't have cared less if I lived to be 35. Now because of them, I'm shooting for at least 100.
this is what Im talking about.

I was probably more out of control than people here can imagine. I wont even go into details because I dont want folks thinking i was ever *that* bad!

live to 35? I didnt care if I lived to see end of the day for like a decade. Now, I want to live.
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Old 01-08-2010, 10:46 AM   #41
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anybody want to buy a webmaster forum?
Yes, Drink more post More is for sale.
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Old 01-08-2010, 10:58 AM   #42
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Originally Posted by Sarah_MaxCash View Post
Same age as you and only now even starting to entertain the idea of spawning.It would involve fertility treatment for me which makes it extra scary but the idea doesn't scare me off now as much as it did even a couple years back.
During trying parenting moments, I think to myself that even a few years ago I would not have been ready for this.

I told my sister, I was 100% ready to be a parent, but I wish I was 150% ready.
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Old 01-08-2010, 11:02 AM   #43
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I was drunk less than 20 times in my whole life, being drunk sucks
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Old 01-08-2010, 11:03 AM   #44
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congrats! my father went AA a couple years before I was born and said the same thing.

just a warning from my own experience growing up with an AA father and my friends in similar situations expeienced the same - every once and a while he would go through what other people in AA would call a dry drunk ...if you drank for many years expect that and make sure your wife knows what may happen...they're nothing like falling off the wagon but they can be a bit of a ride...
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Old 01-08-2010, 12:25 PM   #45
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Ah, no worries, I changed every aspect of my lifestyle man. I stopped hanging with all my old drinking buddies, who only wanted to hang with me to drink etc...

Dry Drunk is those who still live like a drunk but dont drink. I changed all my habits, my outlook on life, and it took YEARS to fully stop drinking... couldnt do it overnight, in fact, I fell off wagon after about a month, but started fresh and havent had drop since!

According to wiki, Dry Drunk: "Dry drunk is a colloquial expression which describes an alcoholic who no longer drinks but is still behaving alcoholically."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dry_drunk
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"What is a dry drunk, and the ?dry drunk syndrome? as it is sometimes called? It can best be described as someone who fits one of two conditions. someone who has given up drinking and drugging and not made any internal or emotional changes, they stay the same but the substance is gone. Or in the second case what was once someone abstinent and on a progressive path of recovery has slowly returned to chaotic and unrealistic thinking."
I made those internal and emotional changes!

I stopped living alcoholically thats for sure. Now I get up and workout instead of getting up to puke LOL

thanks for the words man!
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Old 01-09-2010, 02:12 AM   #46
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I had my kids early I was 20, 21, 23...

I think I was much more stable then than I am now.


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Old 01-09-2010, 02:27 AM   #47
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for years I kinda just wandered, but for the past year as we have prepared for this baby, I am left standing here feeling more complete, happy, and not even concerned with many of the cares of the past.

Having been sober now for years has left me dealing with my emotions face to face instead of escaping via daily alcohol, and I am thankful my daughter will never see me in the state I was when i was drunk every single day of my life.

heres to a new year and the best days of my life.
I wish I could do it.
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Old 01-09-2010, 02:33 AM   #48
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nice one!
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Old 01-09-2010, 02:38 AM   #49
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Cheers!
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Old 01-09-2010, 04:29 AM   #50
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good for you man.

congrats
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