It's your old pal pushpills aka grogan, help me get to hollywood! (pics) - GoFuckYourself.com

pushpills · 08-04-2010, 10:36 PM

Hey everyone, it?s your old pal pushpills aka grogan. I'm posting this here first and will be reposting on the other board. You may remember me from my shiny forehead and love of the ladies. I come to you this evening a much different person than I was before. A bit older and fatter, wiser and very humbled. I?d like to give you an update on what?s going on and am looking for a bit of help getting to Hollywood. I know it?s pretty low to beg on the internet, but I?m looking for work and contacts not just handouts, and I?m sure some of you would be interested in knowing what I?m up to. I?ve given to more than a few in need online so maybe karma will come around my way. This post could get a little long, so I?ll provide cliff notes at the bottom if you?d like to skip on by.

The old me:

The current me:

Yes, my face is still shiny.

As many of you know, many moons ago I was an affiliate of a lot of adult programs and marketed fairly successfully online, as well as posting some memorable threads on the boards. My life has changed a lot from making money online, wasting it on booze and girls and yammering the night away in a hormone and alcohol fueled stupor.

Before I disappeared from the online scene my business started to spiral out of control along with my drinking, my best friend died suddenly and my girlfriend left me (boo hoo). I spent the next year in a drunken depressive haze. I pulled myself up and spent the next three in film school. I really learned a lot about life, who I am, and have really bettered myself. I?ve worked on directing, producing and have a side passion in production design. I?ve been able to purchase gear for myself and barely make ends meet as I do freelance work and art projects. I do not drink or smoke (for 2 years now), I?m also off caffeine and processed sugar and am exercising every day.

I?m currently renting out a condo here in Chicago from a family member, who is putting it on the market next month. Business isn?t so great right now, I?ve got about $100 to my name and a few gigs lined up for August, business gets even worse the colder it gets. I?ve decided I?m going to sell enough gear to make it out to L.A. and do my best to make it in the film world. I?m looking for any support anyone might be willing to give to me, be it a donation, a room to stay, work that I can do in L.A., help meeting people, anything. I have a 4 piece arri light kit, a canon xha1s, a 5d mark II and a mixer. I?ll be selling only what I must to get out west, but whatever I have left I can use on any projects anyone might have. I?m also well trained in all aspects of production, be it doing call sheets, budgeting, scheduling, gripping, art department work, PA, etc. I?d even be happy to clean your gutters.

If you find it worthwhile to help me pursue my dreams, you can send a paypal donaton in any amount to:

[email protected]

I just ordered a new epassporte card so if that?s the only way you can help my account is: hctmarketing

My icq is 328524801

You can email me at the email address above and I?ll send you my phone number too if you?d like to help out another way, especially with work in L.A. or you can icq me. I will make a point to send pictures and updates to those who are so generous to help me, in whatever way you can. Even if it?s just a thread bump I?m thankful.

I really appreciate any support I might get and I?m looking forward to saying hello to so many of you, it has been so long! I also realize some of you are going to call me an idiot an a loser and that?s fine, I?ll take my lumps.

Best wishes to you all, thanks for listening!
Your friend,
Steve aka pushpills aka grogan

Cliff notes:
I blew my money being a drunk stupid kid, had the worst year of my life and have worked hard to get sober and find what I am passionate about. I am moving to Hollywood to pursue my filmmaking ambitions. If you care to help out, see the above info. Thanks!

Agent 488 · 08-04-2010, 10:43 PM

you must have been a real piece of shit to have no friends or family to help you, just fishing for suckers on the internet. congrats on your new life.

Amputate Your Head · 08-04-2010, 10:49 PM

Life is short. We all make dumb mistakes along the way. Best of luck.

pushpills · 08-04-2010, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amputate Your Head

Life is short. We all make dumb mistakes along the way. Best of luck.

Thanks amp I appreciate it. Still in hawaii?

stocktrader23 · 08-04-2010, 11:26 PM

Get out there and get you a job in the movie industry, any job. If you grip (etc) for small budget films one will usually take a chance and make you the #1 guy for the job. After that you'll get more work than you can handle. It's union (here anyhow) and there's almost always work. It pays good, definitely more than selling crap on GFY.

alias · 08-04-2010, 11:29 PM

Bukkake that forehead. Bling bling.

alias · 08-04-2010, 11:37 PM

Sorry about your self esteem issues & I'm not going to mouth off. Probably could cyber beg on twitter better though, make movies [shorts] for people or something you seem like you might be a decent smartass or "nerd" underdog character. Run with it.

pushpills · 08-04-2010, 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stocktrader23

Get out there and get you a job in the movie industry, any job. If you grip (etc) for small budget films one will usually take a chance and make you the #1 guy for the job. After that you'll get more work than you can handle. It's union (here anyhow) and there's almost always work. It pays good, definitely more than selling crap on GFY.

Yea I hope to get some more experience gripping I know there's more work in it, I've focused more on production design/art dept. lately and its easy to fall out of the grip rhythm. It's going to take a good chunk of change to get out there and get a shitty car plus the 600+ to register it in California thus the need to sell some stuff/ask for help. Are you in NM or something?

stocktrader23 · 08-04-2010, 11:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pushpills

Yea I hope to get some more experience gripping I know there's more work in it, I've focused more on production design/art dept. lately and its easy to fall out of the grip rhythm. It's going to take a good chunk of change to get out there and get a shitty car plus the 600+ to register it in California thus the need to sell some stuff/ask for help. Are you in NM or something?

I'm in Louisiana. The movie industry here is busy at times, even the crap jobs pay $22 / hour which is gold here. The good ones pay much more with lots of overtime.

alias · 08-04-2010, 11:46 PM

Randy West · 08-04-2010, 11:47 PM

If Mr. Bean ever needs a stunt double, you would definitely be the man for the job. Good luck brother.

pushpills · 08-04-2010, 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stocktrader23

I'm in Louisiana. The movie industry here is busy at times, even the crap jobs pay $22 / hour which is gold here. The good ones pay much more with lots of overtime.

Yea that's cool I'm sure the buck goes further out there. Strangely enough I saw michael bay walking down the street today, he's out here shooting the next transformers.

BigDeanEvans · 08-05-2010, 12:01 AM

haha good to see you're still alive. Post up some of those old pics of you!!!

the Shemp · 08-05-2010, 12:32 AM

welcome back, grogan...

pushpills · 08-05-2010, 01:02 AM

Thank very much for the donations and kind words thus far. I'm really hoping I don't have to sell everything to move so I can use the gear to work. I'm very grateful.

CDSmith · 08-05-2010, 01:33 AM

Here's a free bump for you. Best of luck with it all, you should be able to raise some cash selling off some of that stuff you mentioned. Seriously, good luck.

Now go home and get your shine box!

:D

Serial Pervert · 08-05-2010, 07:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by alias

nice gif

CaptainHowdy · 08-05-2010, 07:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Randy West

If Mr. Bean ever needs a stunt double, you would definitely be the man for the job. Good luck brother.

...

Welcome back and thanks for politely asking for cash...

MaDalton · 08-05-2010, 07:51 AM

damn, grogan is back and franck has taken all the pics down :-/

BlackCrayon · 08-05-2010, 07:58 AM

good luck grogan!

MrBottomTooth · 08-05-2010, 08:10 AM

Please, someone post the classic "don't be a grogan" photoshop.

rowan · 08-05-2010, 08:14 AM

Welcome back! :D

Hank_Heartland · 08-05-2010, 08:27 AM

Hey Grogan...Good luck buddy

datatank · 08-05-2010, 10:08 AM

Wow blast from the past
You are my hero

datatank · 08-05-2010, 10:11 AM

Serious note if you are a film student are you making movies and putting them in youtube?

In todays day and age if you have any talent you will get noticed.
it costs nothing. Go get creative and impress us. You can make money and feed your passion

datatank · 08-05-2010, 10:13 AM

didnt you make a killing with mortgage leads?

I thought you saw some video of your super dope house that you guys destroyed then you drove a car into a river and got tased by police.

Whas that you or some one else?

Naughty · 08-05-2010, 11:16 AM

the american dream... nice.

pushpills · 08-05-2010, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigDeanEvans

haha good to see you're still alive. Post up some of those old pics of you!!!

The one I posted is the only one I had on my old drive. I'm sure battus has some.

ottopottomouse · 08-05-2010, 11:50 AM

Isn't Hollywood already full of movie studio related people who are currently 'between jobs'?

pushpills · 08-05-2010, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hank_Heartland

Hey Grogan...Good luck buddy

Hey hank thanks

08-04-2010, 10:49 PM	#3
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	Life is short. We all make dumb mistakes along the way. Best of luck. __________________ SIG TOO BIG

08-04-2010, 11:29 PM	#6
alias aliasx Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 19,010	Bukkake that forehead. Bling bling. __________________ https://porncorporation.com

08-04-2010, 11:37 PM	#7
alias aliasx Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 19,010	Sorry about your self esteem issues & I'm not going to mouth off. Probably could cyber beg on twitter better though, make movies [shorts] for people or something you seem like you might be a decent smartass or "nerd" underdog character. Run with it. __________________ https://porncorporation.com

08-04-2010, 11:46 PM	#10
alias aliasx Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 19,010	Gripping FTW! __________________ https://porncorporation.com

08-05-2010, 12:32 AM	#14
the Shemp congrats to the winners Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Echo Beach Posts: 10,891	welcome back, grogan... __________________ i use Vacares...so should you Submit your picture galleries to my site...Outlaw TGP

08-04-2010, 10:36 PM	#1
pushpills Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: CHICAGO Posts: 3,700	It's your old pal pushpills aka grogan, help me get to hollywood! (pics) Hey everyone, it?s your old pal pushpills aka grogan. I'm posting this here first and will be reposting on the other board. You may remember me from my shiny forehead and love of the ladies. I come to you this evening a much different person than I was before. A bit older and fatter, wiser and very humbled. I?d like to give you an update on what?s going on and am looking for a bit of help getting to Hollywood. I know it?s pretty low to beg on the internet, but I?m looking for work and contacts not just handouts, and I?m sure some of you would be interested in knowing what I?m up to. I?ve given to more than a few in need online so maybe karma will come around my way. This post could get a little long, so I?ll provide cliff notes at the bottom if you?d like to skip on by. The old me: The current me: Yes, my face is still shiny. As many of you know, many moons ago I was an affiliate of a lot of adult programs and marketed fairly successfully online, as well as posting some memorable threads on the boards. My life has changed a lot from making money online, wasting it on booze and girls and yammering the night away in a hormone and alcohol fueled stupor. Before I disappeared from the online scene my business started to spiral out of control along with my drinking, my best friend died suddenly and my girlfriend left me (boo hoo). I spent the next year in a drunken depressive haze. I pulled myself up and spent the next three in film school. I really learned a lot about life, who I am, and have really bettered myself. I?ve worked on directing, producing and have a side passion in production design. I?ve been able to purchase gear for myself and barely make ends meet as I do freelance work and art projects. I do not drink or smoke (for 2 years now), I?m also off caffeine and processed sugar and am exercising every day. I?m currently renting out a condo here in Chicago from a family member, who is putting it on the market next month. Business isn?t so great right now, I?ve got about $100 to my name and a few gigs lined up for August, business gets even worse the colder it gets. I?ve decided I?m going to sell enough gear to make it out to L.A. and do my best to make it in the film world. I?m looking for any support anyone might be willing to give to me, be it a donation, a room to stay, work that I can do in L.A., help meeting people, anything. I have a 4 piece arri light kit, a canon xha1s, a 5d mark II and a mixer. I?ll be selling only what I must to get out west, but whatever I have left I can use on any projects anyone might have. I?m also well trained in all aspects of production, be it doing call sheets, budgeting, scheduling, gripping, art department work, PA, etc. I?d even be happy to clean your gutters. If you find it worthwhile to help me pursue my dreams, you can send a paypal donaton in any amount to: [email protected] I just ordered a new epassporte card so if that?s the only way you can help my account is: hctmarketing My icq is 328524801 You can email me at the email address above and I?ll send you my phone number too if you?d like to help out another way, especially with work in L.A. or you can icq me. I will make a point to send pictures and updates to those who are so generous to help me, in whatever way you can. Even if it?s just a thread bump I?m thankful. I really appreciate any support I might get and I?m looking forward to saying hello to so many of you, it has been so long! I also realize some of you are going to call me an idiot an a loser and that?s fine, I?ll take my lumps. Best wishes to you all, thanks for listening! Your friend, Steve aka pushpills aka grogan Cliff notes: I blew my money being a drunk stupid kid, had the worst year of my life and have worked hard to get sober and find what I am passionate about. I am moving to Hollywood to pursue my filmmaking ambitions. If you care to help out, see the above info. Thanks!

08-04-2010, 10:43 PM	#2
Agent 488 Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 22,511	you must have been a real piece of shit to have no friends or family to help you, just fishing for suckers on the internet. congrats on your new life.

08-04-2010, 11:26 PM	#5
stocktrader23 Let's do some business. Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: The dirty south. Posts: 18,781	Get out there and get you a job in the movie industry, any job. If you grip (etc) for small budget films one will usually take a chance and make you the #1 guy for the job. After that you'll get more work than you can handle. It's union (here anyhow) and there's almost always work. It pays good, definitely more than selling crap on GFY.

08-04-2010, 11:47 PM	#11
Randy West So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 1,079	If Mr. Bean ever needs a stunt double, you would definitely be the man for the job. Good luck brother.

08-05-2010, 12:01 AM	#13
BigDeanEvans So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 1,368	haha good to see you're still alive. Post up some of those old pics of you!!!

08-05-2010, 01:02 AM	#15
pushpills Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: CHICAGO Posts: 3,700	Thank very much for the donations and kind words thus far. I'm really hoping I don't have to sell everything to move so I can use the gear to work. I'm very grateful.

08-05-2010, 01:33 AM	#16
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	Here's a free bump for you. Best of luck with it all, you should be able to raise some cash selling off some of that stuff you mentioned. Seriously, good luck. Now go home and get your shine box! :D __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

08-05-2010, 07:51 AM	#19
MaDalton I am Amazing Content! Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 39,826	damn, grogan is back and franck has taken all the pics down :-/ __________________ AmazingContent.com - providing only the best content and service since 2003 Monetize your content on Veegaz.com - one of Germanies largest VOD sites Got German traffic? We convert it into money for you! Skype: madalton02826 - Email: oltecconsult [at] gmail [dot] com

08-05-2010, 07:58 AM	#20
BlackCrayon Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Ottawa Posts: 19,631	good luck grogan! __________________ you don't know you're wearing a leash if you sit by the peg all day..

08-05-2010, 08:10 AM	#21
MrBottomTooth Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 5,795	Please, someone post the classic "don't be a grogan" photoshop. __________________ Get Paid Per Email Like The WEGCASH Days!!!!

08-05-2010, 08:14 AM	#22
rowan Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Australia Posts: 17,393	Welcome back! :D

08-05-2010, 08:27 AM	#23
Hank_Heartland Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: chicago, il Posts: 3,987	Hey Grogan...Good luck buddy __________________ Icq = 459565429 AIM = butlerhankb http://stripperpins.com Twitter = @stripperpins Facebook = Stripperpins.com [email protected]

08-05-2010, 10:08 AM	#24
datatank Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: My dog is blacker than Tupac Posts: 5,471	Wow blast from the past You are my hero

08-05-2010, 10:11 AM	#25
datatank Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: My dog is blacker than Tupac Posts: 5,471	Serious note if you are a film student are you making movies and putting them in youtube? In todays day and age if you have any talent you will get noticed. it costs nothing. Go get creative and impress us. You can make money and feed your passion

08-05-2010, 10:13 AM	#26
datatank Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: My dog is blacker than Tupac Posts: 5,471	didnt you make a killing with mortgage leads? I thought you saw some video of your super dope house that you guys destroyed then you drove a car into a river and got tased by police. Whas that you or some one else?

08-05-2010, 11:16 AM	#27
Naughty Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Utopia Posts: 6,478	the american dream... nice. __________________ seks.ai for sale - ping me

08-05-2010, 11:50 AM	#29
ottopottomouse She is ugly, bad luck. Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 13,177	Isn't Hollywood already full of movie studio related people who are currently 'between jobs'? __________________ ↑ see post ↑ 13101