Yet another reason to vote for Trump: He does not like shaking hands
 

Shaking hands is the dumbest custom I have ever seen. Why the hell do I want to press their jerk off hand to my jerk off hand??? Trump is well known for his opinion on the subject although I am sure he is making exceptions as he runs for office.

Top 5 Reasons not to shake that nasty human's hand when he/she extends it to you.

1. In the last few hours that hand you are shaking has almost certainly wiped poop and pee or touched their penis or someone else's penis or nasty vagina and there is a good chance the person did not wash their hands or did not do an effective job of washing their hands. Have you noticed how many people do a quick rinse of their hands or just completely skip?

2. Closely related to #1 is picking of the ass. People pick their asses when they think nobody is looking. Yes I admit I do pick my ass......so don't ever shake my hand. Until someone can show me a more efficient way to relieve an ass itch I will continue to pick my ass.

3. Shaking hands spreads germs. Like we need more ways for viruses to spread.

4. Self improvement/motivational tools/douchebags will rate you based on how well you shake hands with them. I think most people agree that shaking hands is stupid and gross but they do it anyway just to fit in. If you don't like shaking hands then you probably will not do a good job and will lose business. Will you lose business by not shaking someone's hand? Maybe, but you will probably lose the business anyway if you do not give an ideal and confident hand shake as said tool/douchebag calculates what your somewhat reluctant handshake means.

4. When we were kids we picked our noses in public until our parents smacked us a few dozen times and we learned to pick our noses the proper way.....in private or semi private such as when waiting for a traffic light to change green. We still pick our noses as adults and most of us do not wash our hands after. I am a busy man and I pick my nose and flick it outside or in the trash can. Until someone can teach me a better way to get those deep super boogers I will continue to use the tried to true method of my right index finger. Occasionally if I need a specialty tool I will use my left or right pinky finger due to their small size and longer finger nails. Is there a single able bodied person on planet earth who does not still pick their nose as an adult?

5. Potential customers and business associates will see you as a leader when you proudly proclaim "I am a member of the no handshake coalition". Or perhaps they will see you as weird. But I promise you they will fucking remember you for sure because the 1000 tools they shook hands with in the previous year did not have the guts or the foresight to say such a thing.

So are you a limp hand shaker?

I don't shake hands as I do the fist bump or sometimes I bow to people and sometimes say "Namaste". Staying 4 to 5 feet away from someone helps to avoid situations.

duly noted

There's a motherfucker that walks his dog in the same area we do in the mornings and he fucking insists on shaking hands when we walk by. Everytime. Ugh. I'm thinking of changing routes.

Send him this thread and your problems are solved. You are welcome.

I'm non confrontational IRL. ;

Dog leash in 1 hand & coffee cup in the other, raise cup lol

One of the most germ filled places in the world is.... Our mouths. Yet oddly enough we still talk to people.

Trump is a pussy.

I like it! I'm gonna do that ASAP. Aha

I'm totally looking forward to this now, I think I've shaken hands with this guy more than any other person in my life, really! I cringe on tge inside evert time. But my little buddy loves his dog, they like each other, i'd hate to break that up.

You cracked me up!

I think we should replace the custom of shaking hands with jerking off the other guy.

I think it would promote world peace by reducing stress.

Nice! Ahah

a terrorist fist jab? what are you some type of jihadist or something?

Few of them are good but mainly other thinks mean a lot more then that

Wouldn't correct comparison be touching mouths?

This is so like 4 months ago..,He shakes hands..

so a man who is pathologically paranoid about his personal barriers being breached is also pathologically paranoid about his countries borders being breached as well?

no surprise.

most immigration fears and anxieties are just projections of some kind of psychological and emotional issue anyways.

Just shook mine on Tuesday, so yeah. :thumbsup

Namaste?

It's a Hindi greeting, kind of like Shalom is in Hebrew.




.

(cough cough)

Fiddy fistbumps

I get fistbumping with friends at a party, but if someone tried to fistbump me as a hello gesture when we meet.... I would think WTF and is he a joke or some kind of immature individual.

What the fuck is wrong with everybody?
"He doesn't like shaking hands and I don't either. Therefore, I'll vote for him."

There's a billion other fucking things that are more important than whether or not he'll touch your crusty-ass hand or kiss your ugly ass child.

Do you people have tertiary syphillis? Are your brains swiss cheese? You want to vote for Trump? Fine. Just pick a good reason instead of this circlejerk shit.

:2 cents:

I expected to see more then 5 reasons but ok its enough

Points 1 and 2 in the OP make me want to lick and suck a persons hand instead of shaking it... :2 cents:

You are correct. The OP posted 6 reasons, not 5... He simply used the number 4 twice :2 cents:

So is this a picture of you relaxing at home?



http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-e3VnR9DzQJ...hes-741127.jpg


:winkwink:

Howie Mandell for the Real win!