Yet another reason to vote for Trump: He does not like shaking hands - GoFuckYourself.com

VikingMan · 02-24-2016, 08:11 PM

Shaking hands is the dumbest custom I have ever seen. Why the hell do I want to press their jerk off hand to my jerk off hand??? Trump is well known for his opinion on the subject although I am sure he is making exceptions as he runs for office.

Top 5 Reasons not to shake that nasty human's hand when he/she extends it to you.

1. In the last few hours that hand you are shaking has almost certainly wiped poop and pee or touched their penis or someone else's penis or nasty vagina and there is a good chance the person did not wash their hands or did not do an effective job of washing their hands. Have you noticed how many people do a quick rinse of their hands or just completely skip?

2. Closely related to #1 is picking of the ass. People pick their asses when they think nobody is looking. Yes I admit I do pick my ass......so don't ever shake my hand. Until someone can show me a more efficient way to relieve an ass itch I will continue to pick my ass.

3. Shaking hands spreads germs. Like we need more ways for viruses to spread.

4. Self improvement/motivational tools/douchebags will rate you based on how well you shake hands with them. I think most people agree that shaking hands is stupid and gross but they do it anyway just to fit in. If you don't like shaking hands then you probably will not do a good job and will lose business. Will you lose business by not shaking someone's hand? Maybe, but you will probably lose the business anyway if you do not give an ideal and confident hand shake as said tool/douchebag calculates what your somewhat reluctant handshake means.

4. When we were kids we picked our noses in public until our parents smacked us a few dozen times and we learned to pick our noses the proper way.....in private or semi private such as when waiting for a traffic light to change green. We still pick our noses as adults and most of us do not wash our hands after. I am a busy man and I pick my nose and flick it outside or in the trash can. Until someone can teach me a better way to get those deep super boogers I will continue to use the tried to true method of my right index finger. Occasionally if I need a specialty tool I will use my left or right pinky finger due to their small size and longer finger nails. Is there a single able bodied person on planet earth who does not still pick their nose as an adult?

5. Potential customers and business associates will see you as a leader when you proudly proclaim "I am a member of the no handshake coalition". Or perhaps they will see you as weird. But I promise you they will fucking remember you for sure because the 1000 tools they shook hands with in the previous year did not have the guts or the foresight to say such a thing.

Dead · 02-24-2016, 08:17 PM

So are you a limp hand shaker?

VikingMan · 02-24-2016, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dead

So are you a limp hand shaker?

I don't shake hands as I do the fist bump or sometimes I bow to people and sometimes say "Namaste". Staying 4 to 5 feet away from someone helps to avoid situations.

Dead · 02-24-2016, 08:27 PM

duly noted

dyna mo · 02-24-2016, 08:39 PM

There's a motherfucker that walks his dog in the same area we do in the mornings and he fucking insists on shaking hands when we walk by. Everytime. Ugh. I'm thinking of changing routes.

VikingMan · 02-24-2016, 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dyna mo

There's a motherfucker that walks his dog in the same area we do in the mornings and he fucking insists on shaking hands when we walk by. Everytime. Ugh. I'm thinking of changing routes.

Send him this thread and your problems are solved. You are welcome.

dyna mo · 02-24-2016, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VikingMan

Send him this thread and your problems are solved. You are welcome.

I'm non confrontational IRL. ;

O MARINA · 02-24-2016, 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dyna mo

I'm non confrontational IRL. ;

Dog leash in 1 hand & coffee cup in the other, raise cup lol

Rochard · 02-24-2016, 09:08 PM

One of the most germ filled places in the world is.... Our mouths. Yet oddly enough we still talk to people.

Trump is a pussy.

dyna mo · 02-24-2016, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by O MARINA

Dog leash in 1 hand & coffee cup in the other, raise cup lol

I like it! I'm gonna do that ASAP. Aha

dyna mo · 02-24-2016, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by O MARINA

Dog leash in 1 hand & coffee cup in the other, raise cup lol

I'm totally looking forward to this now, I think I've shaken hands with this guy more than any other person in my life, really! I cringe on tge inside evert time. But my little buddy loves his dog, they like each other, i'd hate to break that up.

O MARINA · 02-24-2016, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dyna mo

There's a motherfucker that walks his dog in the same area we do in the mornings and he fucking insists on shaking hands when we walk by. Everytime. Ugh. I'm thinking of changing routes.

You cracked me up!

MiamiBoyz · 02-24-2016, 09:24 PM

I think we should replace the custom of shaking hands with jerking off the other guy.

I think it would promote world peace by reducing stress.

dyna mo · 02-24-2016, 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by O MARINA

You cracked me up!

Nice! Ahah

jimmycooper · 02-24-2016, 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VikingMan

I don't shake hands as I do the fist bump or sometimes I bow to people and sometimes say "Namaste". Staying 4 to 5 feet away from someone helps to avoid situations.

a terrorist fist jab? what are you some type of jihadist or something?

Sednub997 · 02-25-2016, 02:10 AM

Few of them are good but mainly other thinks mean a lot more then that

mineistaken · 02-25-2016, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rochard

One of the most germ filled places in the world is.... Our mouths. Yet oddly enough we still talk to people.

Wouldn't correct comparison be touching mouths?

crockett · 02-25-2016, 12:49 PM

This is so like 4 months ago..,He shakes hands..

ITraffic · 02-25-2016, 12:59 PM

so a man who is pathologically paranoid about his personal barriers being breached is also pathologically paranoid about his countries borders being breached as well?

no surprise.

most immigration fears and anxieties are just projections of some kind of psychological and emotional issue anyways.

fitzmulti · 02-25-2016, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crockett

This is so like 4 months ago..,He shakes hands..

Just shook mine on Tuesday, so yeah.

rogueteens · 02-25-2016, 01:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VikingMan

I don't shake hands as I do the fist bump or sometimes I bow to people and sometimes say "Namaste". Staying 4 to 5 feet away from someone helps to avoid situations.

Namaste?

sperbonzo · 02-25-2016, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rogueteens

Namaste?

It's a Hindi greeting, kind of like Shalom is in Hebrew.

.

Rochard · 02-25-2016, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mineistaken

Wouldn't correct comparison be touching mouths?

(cough cough)

BIGTYMER · 02-25-2016, 08:07 PM

ruff · 02-25-2016, 08:45 PM

Fiddy fistbumps

mineistaken · 02-25-2016, 09:01 PM

I get fistbumping with friends at a party, but if someone tried to fistbump me as a hello gesture when we meet.... I would think WTF and is he a joke or some kind of immature individual.

muthisdev · 02-26-2016, 01:40 AM

What the fuck is wrong with everybody?
"He doesn't like shaking hands and I don't either. Therefore, I'll vote for him."

There's a billion other fucking things that are more important than whether or not he'll touch your crusty-ass hand or kiss your ugly ass child.

Do you people have tertiary syphillis? Are your brains swiss cheese? You want to vote for Trump? Fine. Just pick a good reason instead of this circlejerk shit.

davidclickpapa · 02-26-2016, 04:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by muthisdev

What the fuck is wrong with everybody?
"He doesn't like shaking hands and I don't either. Therefore, I'll vote for him."

There's a billion other fucking things that are more important than whether or not he'll touch your crusty-ass hand or kiss your ugly ass child.

Do you people have tertiary syphillis? Are your brains swiss cheese? You want to vote for Trump? Fine. Just pick a good reason instead of this circlejerk shit.

SekobA · 02-26-2016, 05:31 AM

I expected to see more then 5 reasons but ok its enough

CurrentlySober · 02-26-2016, 06:37 AM

Points 1 and 2 in the OP make me want to lick and suck a persons hand instead of shaking it...

CurrentlySober · 02-26-2016, 06:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SekobA

I expected to see more then 5 reasons but ok its enough

You are correct. The OP posted 6 reasons, not 5... He simply used the number 4 twice

sperbonzo · 02-26-2016, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by VikingMan

Shaking hands is the dumbest custom I have ever seen. Why the hell do I want to press their jerk off hand to my jerk off hand??? Trump is well known for his opinion on the subject although I am sure he is making exceptions as he runs for office.

Top 5 Reasons not to shake that nasty human's hand when he/she extends it to you.

1. In the last few hours that hand you are shaking has almost certainly wiped poop and pee or touched their penis or someone else's penis or nasty vagina and there is a good chance the person did not wash their hands or did not do an effective job of washing their hands. Have you noticed how many people do a quick rinse of their hands or just completely skip?

2. Closely related to #1 is picking of the ass. People pick their asses when they think nobody is looking. Yes I admit I do pick my ass......so don't ever shake my hand. Until someone can show me a more efficient way to relieve an ass itch I will continue to pick my ass.

3. Shaking hands spreads germs. Like we need more ways for viruses to spread.

4. Self improvement/motivational tools/douchebags will rate you based on how well you shake hands with them. I think most people agree that shaking hands is stupid and gross but they do it anyway just to fit in. If you don't like shaking hands then you probably will not do a good job and will lose business. Will you lose business by not shaking someone's hand? Maybe, but you will probably lose the business anyway if you do not give an ideal and confident hand shake as said tool/douchebag calculates what your somewhat reluctant handshake means.

4. When we were kids we picked our noses in public until our parents smacked us a few dozen times and we learned to pick our noses the proper way.....in private or semi private such as when waiting for a traffic light to change green. We still pick our noses as adults and most of us do not wash our hands after. I am a busy man and I pick my nose and flick it outside or in the trash can. Until someone can teach me a better way to get those deep super boogers I will continue to use the tried to true method of my right index finger. Occasionally if I need a specialty tool I will use my left or right pinky finger due to their small size and longer finger nails. Is there a single able bodied person on planet earth who does not still pick their nose as an adult?

5. Potential customers and business associates will see you as a leader when you proudly proclaim "I am a member of the no handshake coalition". Or perhaps they will see you as weird. But I promise you they will fucking remember you for sure because the 1000 tools they shook hands with in the previous year did not have the guts or the foresight to say such a thing.

So is this a picture of you relaxing at home?

blogspot · 02-26-2016, 09:42 AM

Howie Mandell for the Real win!

02-24-2016, 09:08 PM	#9
Rochard Jägermeister Test Pilot Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: NORCAL Posts: 73,969	One of the most germ filled places in the world is.... Our mouths. Yet oddly enough we still talk to people. Trump is a pussy. __________________ “The choice is no longer between right or left. The choice is between normal and crazy.” - Sarah Huckabee Sanders YNOT MAIL \| THE BEST ADULT MAILING SOLUTION

02-25-2016, 02:10 AM	#16
Sednub997 Naked in my bathroom Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Europe Posts: 6,155	Few of them are good but mainly other thinks mean a lot more then that __________________ X10 FANS PLAFORM - 3 IN 1 LIVE CAMS/FANS/MEMBERSHIP CMS CONTENT MANAGEMENT, MONETIZATION AND PUBLISHING PLATFORM 17 YEARS WITH 1000'S OF CLIENTS SCALABLE - ENTERPRISE-READY - MULTI-LANG

02-25-2016, 12:49 PM	#18
crockett in a van by the river Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 76,806	This is so like 4 months ago..,He shakes hands.. __________________ In November, you can vote for America's next president or its first dictator.

02-25-2016, 08:45 PM	#25
ruff I have a plan B Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Seattle - Miami - St Kitts Posts: 5,501	Fiddy fistbumps __________________ CryptoFeeds

02-26-2016, 01:40 AM	#27
muthisdev Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2016 Posts: 300	What the fuck is wrong with everybody? "He doesn't like shaking hands and I don't either. Therefore, I'll vote for him." There's a billion other fucking things that are more important than whether or not he'll touch your crusty-ass hand or kiss your ugly ass child. Do you people have tertiary syphillis? Are your brains swiss cheese? You want to vote for Trump? Fine. Just pick a good reason instead of this circlejerk shit. __________________ <?= base64_decode("aHR0cDovL211dGhpc2Rldi5jb20v") ?>

02-24-2016, 08:11 PM	#1
VikingMan Exploiting human weakness Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: next to a salmon stream Posts: 6,530	Yet another reason to vote for Trump: He does not like shaking hands Shaking hands is the dumbest custom I have ever seen. Why the hell do I want to press their jerk off hand to my jerk off hand??? Trump is well known for his opinion on the subject although I am sure he is making exceptions as he runs for office. Top 5 Reasons not to shake that nasty human's hand when he/she extends it to you. 1. In the last few hours that hand you are shaking has almost certainly wiped poop and pee or touched their penis or someone else's penis or nasty vagina and there is a good chance the person did not wash their hands or did not do an effective job of washing their hands. Have you noticed how many people do a quick rinse of their hands or just completely skip? 2. Closely related to #1 is picking of the ass. People pick their asses when they think nobody is looking. Yes I admit I do pick my ass......so don't ever shake my hand. Until someone can show me a more efficient way to relieve an ass itch I will continue to pick my ass. 3. Shaking hands spreads germs. Like we need more ways for viruses to spread. 4. Self improvement/motivational tools/douchebags will rate you based on how well you shake hands with them. I think most people agree that shaking hands is stupid and gross but they do it anyway just to fit in. If you don't like shaking hands then you probably will not do a good job and will lose business. Will you lose business by not shaking someone's hand? Maybe, but you will probably lose the business anyway if you do not give an ideal and confident hand shake as said tool/douchebag calculates what your somewhat reluctant handshake means. 4. When we were kids we picked our noses in public until our parents smacked us a few dozen times and we learned to pick our noses the proper way.....in private or semi private such as when waiting for a traffic light to change green. We still pick our noses as adults and most of us do not wash our hands after. I am a busy man and I pick my nose and flick it outside or in the trash can. Until someone can teach me a better way to get those deep super boogers I will continue to use the tried to true method of my right index finger. Occasionally if I need a specialty tool I will use my left or right pinky finger due to their small size and longer finger nails. Is there a single able bodied person on planet earth who does not still pick their nose as an adult? 5. Potential customers and business associates will see you as a leader when you proudly proclaim "I am a member of the no handshake coalition". Or perhaps they will see you as weird. But I promise you they will fucking remember you for sure because the 1000 tools they shook hands with in the previous year did not have the guts or the foresight to say such a thing.

02-24-2016, 08:17 PM	#2
Dead They left the door open Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 4,512	So are you a limp hand shaker?

02-24-2016, 08:27 PM	#4
Dead They left the door open Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 4,512	duly noted

02-24-2016, 08:39 PM	#5
dyna mo The People's Post Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: invisible 7-11 Posts: 65,347	There's a motherfucker that walks his dog in the same area we do in the mornings and he fucking insists on shaking hands when we walk by. Everytime. Ugh. I'm thinking of changing routes.

02-24-2016, 09:24 PM	#13
MiamiBoyz fgfdftre6 Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: In the closet with your dad! Posts: 6,690	I think we should replace the custom of shaking hands with jerking off the other guy. I think it would promote world peace by reducing stress.

02-25-2016, 12:59 PM	#19
ITraffic Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 2,725	so a man who is pathologically paranoid about his personal barriers being breached is also pathologically paranoid about his countries borders being breached as well? no surprise. most immigration fears and anxieties are just projections of some kind of psychological and emotional issue anyways.

02-25-2016, 08:07 PM	#24
BIGTYMER Junior Achiever Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Walled Garden Posts: 17,066

02-25-2016, 09:01 PM	#26
mineistaken See signature :) Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: ICQ 363 097 773 Posts: 29,656	I get fistbumping with friends at a party, but if someone tried to fistbump me as a hello gesture when we meet.... I would think WTF and is he a joke or some kind of immature individual.

02-26-2016, 05:31 AM	#29
SekobA Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 567721649 Posts: 12,166	I expected to see more then 5 reasons but ok its enough __________________ Best Affiliate Program Available Start Promoting 25% REV-SHARE

02-26-2016, 06:37 AM	#30
CurrentlySober Too lazy to wipe my ass Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: A Public Bathroom Posts: 38,643	Points 1 and 2 in the OP make me want to lick and suck a persons hand instead of shaking it... __________________ My AI Handywork... My Dream Gal... XXX 👁️ 👍️ 💩

02-26-2016, 09:42 AM	#33
blogspot So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2016 Posts: 292	Howie Mandell for the Real win!