Are you going to to stick it out in Maui for a while? Remember all this shit just happened.

Take a few days to calm down. Clean up the mess (you must have made of the house). Chill for a day or two.

Just think about it before you make any descisions.

I am... I'm trying to back up a little and think as rationally as I possibly can before taking any major steps.

My oldest was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 6 years old. He took ritalin (only during school) for many years until Adderall came out. The meds were the difference of night and day in his behavior at school. I've never medicated him outside of school or on weekends and summers because his ADHD primarily effected his ability to concentrate in school

I got no one else to talk to, so I'm talking to you guys. GFY has pretty much been my extended insane family for two years now, so I guess this is as 'normal' as anything else.

I'm supposed to have a guest staying here, but I threw them out on the street last night.

Sad isn't it. That someone might actually be telling the truth about something here or find themselves in some serious shit .. and no one take them seriously.

http://chetart.com/crywolf.jpg

<pout> Boneprone deleted his post so I didn't get my 'fiddy'.

food for thought. you take this shit too seriously.

Good.

Seek balance.
Once you find out the key to balance your life will never be the same again. This is easily treatable so long as you are willing and ready to accept the thearpy.

It may take a while to find out how to find this balance, testing and trial of many drugs to find the best one without side effects but its all trial and error man. YOu may get lucky and find that right med right away, or it may take ya a few months to find that perfect med.. Either way tough it out, be a man and do what it takes to get better.

The fact that you want to get better says a lot.

Hehehe...haha...hoohee...muahahahaah!

Welcome to hell, man.

I was diagnosed with the same thing about 10 years ago. Been through about 20 different meds trying to find the right lego to click in place. Fuck the pharmaceutical solution.

Finally, had a horrible acid trip, entered the Nagul while studying shamanism and lost my self.

Why? I wanted to fix myself. Instead, I lost everything. Now, my mind crackles when I'm in a bright room, my senses slip into overdrive and I can center in on a dog barking miles away on a busy intersection and one pupil is sometimes twice the size of the other.

I was a boy genius, used to act very much like Labret in real life, and hated everything and everyone. Even though I was unhappy, I was a lot more content than I am now. At least then I had something.

Now I'm a fucking empty shell, devoid of any analytical skills and infected with Americitis.

Watch the fire you dance around.

And remember the duck.

If you only had a brain ...

I don't know who you saw that provided a diagnosis of Bipolar Manic Depressive in a single visit but to make a definitive diagnosis of this import on a single visit is not the norm. None the less it is reasonably apparent that you do have a problem that requires professional guidance. Find someone competent and follow their advice to the T. As far as meds go...Boneprone is correct when he says that meds can correct what is basically a chemical iimbalance. There are various meds and what works for one may not work for another...in addition it takes time...sometimes a great deal of time to find the proper medication in the proper dosage. It is not as simple as popping a pill and all is better. There are going to be some bumps and you will have the urge to say fuck it and this is one thing that you should not do. Drinking is something that you should not do...period. Anyhow good luck too you.

You seem like you would be diagnosed with both bi-polar and a form of psychotic unbalance?

Am I correct?
Sounds like u have two or more things cooking here.

It was the experts at www.BiPolarTest.com or one of it's affiliate sites.

After reading this shit I figured out what wrong with my mom, she's bipolar to. And an alcoholic. She has all those symptoms that amp described.. high energy, talks too fuckin fast, doesnt sleep etc etc

She either super nice or a major fuckin bitch. Mostly a major bitch. Shes such a fuckin bitch that I cant stand to be around her.

A very good friend of ours has the bipolar condition and his life changed for the better as soon as he cut alcohol out of his life completely. It?s a bitch but alcohol and certain imbalances just don?t work together and you don?t need to be angry, hyper and aggressive to be creative and function properly in your work? If you look at these periods of great creativity just look around and you will see an equal amount of conflict and destruction at the same time.

Zero alcohol = Less medication in most cases with this.

Life is about balance, priorities and stability... Don't throw it all away just for a bottle of fucking beer. :2 cents:

Wheres Fletch.... this thread is screamin for a Jimi tune :)


http://member.nifty.ne.jp/prayer/polar%20bear.jpg

I know what I want but I just don't know how to go about gettin' it.

That pic is tripolar, fool

too busy to open the chopshop.

MrPopup you are a moron.

Manic depression is an illness, biochemical, go to Medline or a university medical library and read junior..........there are big words in the abstracts, go buy a medical dictionary so you won't get overwhelmed.

Then go do a search and find the famous people in history and those living with bipolar disorder today. It's not somebody being merely anxious or depressed or overwhelmed with the world he/she lives in.

Why do you think lithium works so miraculously on bipolar patients? Why doesn't lithium work the same way on clinically depressed or anxiety disorder patients? Or just overwhelmed people going through a rough patch in their lives? BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVE MANIC DEPRESSION/BIPOLAR DISORDER.

You are a looney tune, people suffer tremendously from manic depression, untreated the suicide rate is enormous. And you're worried that the drugs are going to rob AMP of his creativity, that it's some conspiracy by the big drug companies. You are a nitwit.

If Amp gets the diagnosis of manic depression confirmed he'll be good as new, maybe better cuz he's probably had it for awhile without being diagnosed.

It's more than being very happy or very sad. Read the description of what MANIA is.

Good post...and true about MrPopup.

Alcoholism goes with practically ever mental illness there is. Often an attempt by undiagnosed people to self-medicate themselves. A good percentage of alcoholics are manic depressive, anxiety disorder victims or clinically depressed, never diagnosed because they never seek help and everybody around them blames the alcohol and whatever else is going on in the person's life.

haha.. pic by one of my favorite wildlife photogs.. Thomas Mangelsen. Think that one is called "Lazy Boys" from the Bad Boys of the Arctic series.

Once again a good post. Actually I am clinically depressed and I self medicate with alcohol...but I am physically fucked for life and suffer a great deal of pain...so I am clinically depressed with cause and if I consume enough alcohol it seems to relieve some of the pain and depression. I have prescribed medication for pain including morphine patches but I use the pain medication as little as possible and very, very rarely use the patches. I will reach a point where that may change.

i dont like the idea of drug treatment in such cases. At least not after a single doctor visit.....

Amp - I'm glad you seem to have figured out what is going on in your head. In a way it does make sense and like you yourself admit, the drinking wasn't helping. I hate the idea of needing to be medicated on a daily basis just to live a 'normal' life but we all gotta do what we gotta do. Myself, I've been taking one form of anti-histamine or decongestant almost every day for the last 20 years. I fucking HATE it but without them my life would be one long nose blowing session. I know my problem isn't in the same league as your mental stuff but I just want you to know that you aren't alone. There are millions of people in the world that live in a semi-medicated state. I'm not talking about junkies, but the normal everyday people who need some form of medication daily to keep themselves in the groove. I wish we could all make herbal medicines work but our bodies are too corrupted from years of chemicals.

I've rambled on long enough. If you are bi-polar, there are drugs out there that if taken on schedule can keep you from doing the extreme things you hate yourself for in the morning. Do what you have to do to get your life back dude. We love you and your talent is far too great to be lost to this chemical imbalance.

Liz

It's impossible in today's world to live and not have a health problem, any kind of it.

Let's kill some doctors for fun!

alright. where to

Amen. I've got no beef with technology. I'd hate to have to live the way they did even 100 years ago but with advance in technology comes the downsides. We have seriously fucked up the planet, and our bodies with the chemicals we use everyday. Don't get me wrong, I'm no hippie and I'll carry on driving my car and eating beef and liking it but in the back of my mind I wonder what we've done to ourselves.

It is absolutely correct to say that 100 years ago Amp woul just have been considered an eccentric artist. It is only now with all our overanalysing and medical breakthroughs that we find that people are 'sick'.

It seems a load of cow plop to me but I'm no doctor.

yes.. very true... im only nearly 20 now... and i've always been a real healthy person.. but this winter.. holy fuck, everything has gone TO SHIT... gained a lactose intolerance, i was real sick cause of that for awhile.. then i got even more sick again from some other shit, then i just contracted something like mono / flu... fuck. sucks

I hope your feeling better soon Amp, I need you, you know that.

Just a couple of words.. Don't be too quick to label yourself bipolar, that label will stick for the rest of your life. If you've been a heavy drinker then it would probably explain a lot of your behaviours.

Also don't let a General Physician diagnose you, it has to be a psychiatrist, and then be sceptical.

:2 cents:

I've had the same thing all my life.. been on all the medications there are, so if you wanna know anything about em other then what the doctors say feel free to ask.

As for lithium it's ok, you'll feel a little slow at the beginning, not too bad side-effects but it will take at least 3 months before it has full effect and they expect about a year before they can tell if it's taking you in the right direction.

As you said tho, at least ya know what's wrong ... good luck to ya!

:rasta

Amp! I think it's awesome you finally have some kind of an idea what's up in your life. My ex was manic-depressive.. but he refused to get help, and not only did it destroy our relationship, it's still destroying his life. You've taken the first step, you're getting informed. I will say though DO be careful with the medication.. Sometimes it will help, and sometimes it can practically makes you a vegetable. If so, ask your doctor.. there are other medications/helpful solutions.

Bi-Polar disorder definitely stems from a chemical imbalance in the brain. Seratonin is a huge contributing factor to your emotional stability/well-being, and it is one of the chemicals that is lacking in Bi-Polar people. Shrimp is a good source of seratonin, and if you do a search on the internet, or perhaps health food stores, you can get more information on more suppliments etc that you can take to assist your condition. A good diet definitely contributes positively. If you ever need to talk, advice, etc (I'm fairly well read on these types of subjects), resources to do some research, I would be pleased to extend my help. Feel free to icq me 3522039 or email [email protected]. Best of luck Amp!

hey man....stop listining to what a lot of these people say man, they just don't know. Your right that you need to fix your problems....and taking most meds is not the end of the world, shit most of the time you will want to take them. I have someone that is really close to me that went through the same thing 3 years ago. I can't remember what med he is on now, but when we talk about it he is like "I could never go a day without this stuff" He holds 2 jobs, works like 14 hours a day (he is unskilled and needs a few jobs to make ends meet) Most of the meds that control unbalance DO NOT CONTROL your mind....that just fucking stupid. Stick right wtih your docs and shit will be normal before you know it. :thumbsup

Amp,

Hey, Samantha pointed this thead out to me (This is Eddie) Samantha's husband.

First off I would just like to say that this is a very interesteing topic to me since I have be a diagnosed BP MD for over 15 years. I took the meds roads also in the beginning and after time have learned to tell when my "moods" are switching and take actions to help. Sounds odd but the best thing I have found is Light and Music and with them have remained med free for 10 years. (Don't get me wrong, I still have the ups and downs but learning to control them in the beginning of the signs has prevented them from being full manic or depressed states.

I use full spectum lights that, to your body, are the same as being outside dring the summer which has had the effect of keeping the depression states at bay. Manic states are a little harder cause of the natural high you will tend to have with it. (which means you sleep very little and will do stuff like work on you computer for 36 strait hours or go and party or do the other wild stuff that tends to get you introuble after you come back down...ack) during those time I try to listen to soft music, normally some celtic stuff I enjoy and the relaxing sounds help to bring down the manic state. Of course these help with the mild "first signs" but will also help you not reach the next levals. I actually spent a lot of time with what is refered to as a "music therapist" to learn how and when to listen to the different types of music and you should be able to find out quite a bit of information here...

Music Therapy Org

Do a search on google for "light therapy" and you will find a bunch in information about it. The products I have come from
Sunbox

Before trying these speak with your doctor and get his input on them.

Have your blood lithum levels checked. Lithum is not some of the wall drug but basically a natural salt that everyone need a certain level of to fuction "normal" if your body is not using it right you have BP problems.

The main thing to remember is that there are a TON of people with this. Some of the most famous and suggesfull people in the world.
(I think that this might be because of the manic side of the disorder that allows us to work nonstop. Maybe they have just enough of the manic to be effective without disrupting their thinking to the point of being desctructive) but, whatever the case you will have no problems at all finding plenty of people that have and are dealing with the same things and will be glad to work with you to help bring it all under control.

Feel free to hit me up on our ICQ 4009474 if you ever have any questions and I would be happy anytime.

For anyone who does not really know what BP MD is like, just run out and rent a copy of Pink Floyd The Wall and watch it.

www.nami.org I am active in it where I live. My sister is Bipolar. They use lithum less and less it can be very toxic, there are many great drugs out there. Also feel lucky that they could diagnosis you, many dont get one for a very long time.The key is to take your meds no matter how good you feel. Everytime my sister stops taking her meds, a trip to the hospital happens.

Very well said!!

I dated a guy for about a year that was bipolar. When he was on a high it was HIGH, he thougth that he was invincible. And when he was low he was real LOW.

The problem was when he was on a high, he didn't think that he needed the medication and the cycle continues.

Along with taking the drugs, you must also have a support system.

Hmmm, after reading this info, I'm starting to think both my ex-wives might have had this, especially my last one who would be happy one day, crying in bed the next, drinking wine like it was water every chance she could, moody one moment, fine and nice the next, yelling about things like a maniac one day, then talking normally as if the day before never happened.

I just assumed she was a typical psycho bitch all this time.

:1orglaugh

Hey, Amp..you have me more concerned than ever.

First. Being bipolar is not a mental illness...it's a chemical imbalance, just like being anemic is physical...or diabetes.

Taking an anti depressant or anti anxiety for this condition is ludicrous and will only cause further problems.

The ensuing behaviours are a manifestation of this imbalance.

There are ways to deal with what you've got.

Most of the medications, such as Lithium or DepaKote, have side effects. If you take Lithium, you will have to have frequent blood work, to ensure your levels stay within very narrow boundaries. Not everyone can handle Lithium.

You already know that drinking excacerbates the condition...

This is not a disease, being bipolar...it's physical. Period.

Therapy and the cessation of drinking are definitely in order. Reason being...before diagnosis, your actions become patterns of behaviour.....which need to be addressed, so you can achieve balance, as Boneprone stated.

There are other adjunctives that will help....yoga being a great way to relieve the stresses caused by the chemical mayhem going on inside you.

It's alot of work, my friend.....you have me on ICQ....I will be glad to talk to you.....which, I believe you already know. :)

Brujah, I think folks believe Amp, those that don't will do anything for a tagline, fuck them.

Buy some melatonin at costco/price club and take it at night for sleeping. If it works, it will give you a good idea if you are lacking melatonin.

Quote from Melatonin Miracle.

" An excess of serotonin and shortage of melatonin has been linked to some forms of depression and mood disorders, In fact, a number of psychiatric drugs , including Prozac, are called serotonin uptake inhibitors beacause they maintain normal
serotonin levels and stimulate the production of melatonin".

My hubsand takes melatonin and it works great for sleeping. :)

An excellent doctor can diagnose if you have any depression.

Also, I have found out from personal experience that severe allergies and asmtha can mimick depression. :)

Glad to see you are posting about this and getting nice responses..
:)

Has any doctor ever given you prozac for the pain ? It can be used to fool the neurons going to the brain regarding the pain.

The guy that set up CNN was just in his manic episode when he did that.

Good luck my friend. If your doc feels you need the meds by all means don't let anyone talk you out of it. My husband is bi-polar and won't take his med so sometimes it's a bit of a challenge around here. The meds won't stifle your creativity and might actually inspire it some since some of the meds can cause slight hallucinations. j/k But in all seriousness it's a good thing you got a diagnosis and can now take some actions to correct the imbalances in your life. :thumbsup

Oh, I just noticed the smilies are fixed. YEAH

It's not all about drugs but I'd probably recommend Zyprexa or something similar instead of Lithium, it has a similar effect but it reaches full effect faster... it has recently been registered to work against manic depression. I was among the first ones here in Sweden who got to use it, not bad.


:rasta ... lots better.

MrPopup sounds like my hippie, dope smoking cousin who thinks there is an herbal cure for everything and that all the drug companies just want to get you hooked on their drugs. She tried to self-medicate herself for an infection last year and nearly ended up losing a limb. Pretty bright.

Whether or not this is just another gfy fantasy story I wish Amp luck in getting his life back in order.

I was bi-polar in high school. Ok, so I was self-diagnosed and I'm probably wrong, but I had every symptom. My life was a complete roller coaster.

One day I would be high as a kite, it's unexplainable. I actually felt like I was floating. A surge of energy would be rushing through my body, ALL day. I loved everyone, and everyone loved me. It was absolutely crazy. I couldn't figure out what was going on, but it made me feel like I had total control over my life.

The following weeks after a "high" were absolute hell. I was always depressed. I hated my life. I felt like I was a terrible burden, not only on my family but also my friends AND society. During my lows, I cried myself to sleep every night asking God questions about life and myself. This was the point in time I still had SOME faith in God.

I'm the type of person who never asks for help, no matter how much I need it. And I never like to give others the impression that I'm upset or depressed, so I always hid my feelings. Nobody really knew what I was going through, even my friends. To this day, my family still has no idea and only a few friends know.

Due to this and the fact that I don't believe in psychological medicine unless the case is very extreme, I never saw a doctor and refused to look into treatment options.

One morning of the summer after my junior year I woke up and something seemed different, I couldn't pinpoint what it was. The sun was shining, was a beautiful day, and the birds were chirping. My little brother was going crazy in the other room playing Final Fantasy 7 and my mom was making lunch.

Something clicked.

I still don't know what clicked, but it clicked. It was like I woke up from a terrible nightmare full of lies. I could almost see the polluted clouds in my head be pushed aside to make way for the bright sun.

It was over. The Hell I called life had stopped. I stopped crying. I stopped blaming God. And I stopped looking for answers to questions that nobody could explain.

That day was the beginning of my real life. I had goals; graduation day was coming up, soon I was moving to San Diego all by myself, and I was ready to meet new people and start a new life from scratch.

So yeh, nice little warm and fuzzy story, eh? I've been depression free for almost 3 years and I've loved every day of it. Life sucks sometimes, you just need to roll with the punches. When life throws you a curveball, step up to the plate and hit the fucker out of the ballpark.

Amp, don't be afraid of what lies ahead. Be excited. Now that you've identified your enemy, it's time to defeat it.

Don't most of them drugs cause erection problems, or lack of. Thats what others have told me that are bi-polar and hence came off the drugs.

They fix that side afffect yet?

its a pretty common side-effect on anti-depressants.
also on stronger medications since they're making ya kinda numb...

usually you can have an erection, you just can't cum ...
which isn't always a bad thing.

:rasta

assuming this isn't all a put on

Amp, best of luck. You gotta do what you gotta do to get healthy. My only advice would be this: before signing up for a lifetime subscription to the happy pills, follow through on quitting drinking for a bit and see how you feel.

once again, best of luck