poor people can be spoiled too. it's a matter of over protectiveness and not letting them go out on their own when they are ready to do so. People have to make their OWN decisions.

oh... didn't know that part... in all cases then its normal, but from the looks of that place, it looks really relaxed... or is it some hardcore bootcamp like you see on maury when they send 12 year old hoochie girls there?

What are you talking about?

I know what you mean, my sister lives her bf, and he's got two kids, and one of them had a birthday party last week, and each kid, and they were like 5 kids, had like 2 gifts each... and one of them had a birthday this past weekend, guess what? more gifts, and xmas is coming soon... u can figure out the rest...
and when they do't get their way.... they pull such a fit..

I agree.

Talking will not do shit. Do you guys remember what you did and thought when you were 15? Fuck, I was miserable as hell, hated everyone, hated life, never listened to anyone... finally hit rock bottom, woke up, found the biggest high, and haven't fell off yet.

Kids are raised by the time they're 13. Anything after that is their show, they're not going to listen to anyone but themselves. So you basically have 13 years to instill good values and morals. Then you'll have to wait 5, 10, maybe even 15 years before they'll start listening again.

About this boarding school, is it something he wants or something your parents want?

If he wants to go to this school and it's very important, use it against him. If he has ANY other incidents, no matter how small or stupid, take him out. Even if he's busted with some other kids, fuck him. That was his chance. The kid is risking his life, there are no second chances. When you're dead, you're dead.

Now, if the parents want him in the school and he would rather be elsewhere, use it.

Use every tool you have to bribe and manipulate him. In most situations, I don't like bribery or manipulation. But kids are different. Life is different.

"Drugs are bad" won't work. He already knows they're bad. He doesn't care.

Well from what I've heard its really strict. Not quite a bootcamp though.

For the first few weeks/months (im not exactly sure) she has what they call a "shadow." This is a person/counselor who is next to her 24/7. She doesn't even get to take a crap alone. It must suck. I can't wait to tease her about it when I see her again :1orglaugh

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh
but still.. 50K for a year? how long has she been there? and is she doing better?

Absolutely. I know so many "poor" and even "average" kids that couldn't work if they're life depended on it. I have a bunch of friends in this exact situation unfortunately...

Actually, the car thing might be cool. If your mom makes him pay enough for a part of it that puts him into a financial commitment to keep the car he will have to spend a lot of his free time working to keep that piece of freedom. A car means the whole world to a 16 year old! Hell, a nice car means the whole world to some 30 year olds, but that's another story.

The point is to put him in a hole that takes up enough of his free time and keeps him busy so he doesn't have a huge amount of time to sit and smoke out and stuff.

The last thing he needs right now is to not have any transportation and still have just enough money to buy a nickle sack and a Friday night roll. That scenario will fuck up even the most responsible 15/16 year olds.

What does this have to do with what you are going to tell him tonight you ask? Nothing. I'm just reminding you of the situation. I say reminding you because you already know this but you are beating yourself up thinking there is something YOU can say that will change his path. Unfortunately there's nothing YOU can say. The best thing you can do is be open with him and not preach so you can stay up to date on what he might be doing wrong.

If you play the BIG BIG sister role you will increasingly be shut out on what's REALLY happening in his life as he gets older. These next few years are critical. The only way for you to help guide him is if you seem like you are just ALONG for the ride he calls life... as opposed to being the one who is trying to give him directions.

Don't fuck up and try to hand him a roadmap tonight.

I don't mean to upset you, but reality is the ONLY person who can decided if your baby brother will stop doing drugs is your brother.

You can't make that decision for him. He has to make it for himself. You can disagree with it for yourself and YOUR life, and let him know that, but I truly believe any attempt on your part to prevent him from doing it will just make a 15 year old do more drugs.

My advise, talk only about drug use as it pertains to YOU, not him. Make NO attempt to stop or place judgement on him for his drug use. Let him know he's blood and you care about him, but it's his life and HIS decisions. Any prevention from you or your family removes the CHOICE to do drugs from him.


My dad was AA, and I did drink heavy in my later teens and through university. But I never did drugs. My dad NEVER told me not to do drugs either. He pointed out some people in town to me that blew their minds on LSD, he told me about when he was in BC in the 50's and his roommates were doing drugs and he just flushed the ones they gave him down the toilet. He pointed out people who went to jail for trafficing, but he never really told me not to do drugs. He taught by example, not by authority there.


different with booze, he told me again and again not to drink. I saw all the fun times people who drank had. I saw people in their 80's who drank every day and still were happy, successful and fun to be around. the example there led me to drink cause I even looked at him and he turned out fine. it felt hypicrititcal for him to tell me not to drink.

a 15 year old will unconciously try everything to react against authority. Drug use needs to be HIS choice, no one elses, and HE needs to know and FEEL that way about it. Aim for that approach.


I hope that helps, it is the HARDEST thing to do in that situation though.

Doesn't make a difference. It's a disease that's heretic.

Damn, you're right.

I was never once told by my parents not to do drugs. My dad pointed out junkies and such plenty enough though, like yourself.

Hmm, interesting.

She's only been there a couple months. She's already sending her dad letters apologizing and begging to come home, haha.

Oh yeah, the school promises three things:

1. She won't get pregnant.
2. She won't do drugs.
3. She will graduate from high school.

It will be interesting to see how she turns out.

I think she's just going to make friends with a bunch of spoiled tramps from Beverly Hills since only people with money can afford to send their kid there.

My entire family just didn't know what to do. This school thing is the very, very last resort.

it seems to be doing effect, but you guys don't get the chance to go visit her right?

smack him...hard

on his ass u suggest??:1orglaugh :1orglaugh

i doubt punishing him will work so you should buy mad weed and beer and shove it in his face and yell in a crazy fit and tell him to smoke it ! and drink it! i dont care anymore! fuck you!

horseshit. You are in controll of your own destiny.

I agree with the Sleazemaster.

I'll vote for both.

Drugs do effect some people in varying degrees and in the speed they "come down" etc and there is a biological component to that. Some people try coke and are like "oh, this is it?" Other are like "Holy shit!" In that sense - and some others too - I think there are biological factors that CONTRIBUTE to additiction.

Ultimately, we are all responsible for ourselves and our behavior. We still have to make the right decisions. These decisions may be more difficult for some people than others because of biological predispositions but I don't think it resolves the responsibility.

dood, i once smoked so much that i almost died !!

at first i couldnt move.....then i was vomiting all over the place.....then i got so pale, i got scared when i saw myself in the mirror....i felt so bad that i asked my friends to drive me to ER (i really though i was gonna die), but halfway there i just told them to drop me off at my place. I woke up next day lying on the floor.

Sounds like it was laced.

if you have good or normal relationship with your brother, share your lifestyle and views on life with him, and let him share his with you, do things together (cannot advise you do drugs together, but sometimes it might help better to understand eachother), treat him, speak to him and act around him like you do with grown-ups, he'll respect you more and might consider your points.
in life to succeed he must make choises and act accordingly, help him start thinking of what HE WANTS to achive and what are the ways to get there, once he finds other interest in life he could be more sober about his actions. if he doesn't have any interest in life he might as well fuck it all up, cuz in this thinking there's nothing to care about and nothing to loose.

and for everyone - YES POT CAN BE ADDICTIVE - from expirence of HEAVY USAGE, once you loose it, its very hard to get back on track. (mind games sometimes get tricky or trippy ;)

don't be too hard on him, but rather show him his options in life, also you try to make him stop - it will make him more do it (in most cases)
:2 cents:

wishing you best of luck!

oh definately, this stuff is scary.

I'll post it again... whats Requiem for a Dream

My brother had a problem with alcohol and depression when he was younger. There was nothing anybody could do until he realised he HAD a problem, then all we could do was offer support while he tried to sort himself out. Making him realise he had a problem was the hard part.

If you push him even a little, he'll probably consider it interfering and he'll ignore you. Or even worse, drink even more/smoke even more just to defy you.

Does he have a girlfriend? If so, talk to her. Tell her you're concerned, but DON'T tell her that she should try to make him stop. She already knows that, and once again if he thinks you're trying to get at him through his girlfriend he'll think you're interfering. Just make it known that you're concerned. If he doesn't have a girlfriend, let his best friend know that you're concerned instead. Again, don't tell his best friend that he should try to get your brother to stop.

Pulling him out of school is probably a bad idea - once again, he'll think you're interfering. Plus, dragging him away from all his friends at that age is gonna be REALLY hard on him. When I was that age, my friends were my life.

Hope it works out for your brother - it did for my mine :thumbsup

a very good movie, go out and see it :2 cents:

What's it about?

the dark side of drugs

When was the movie made?

drugs ? :1orglaugh

Asuna, je suppose que tu parles francais.

le film "Requiem for a Dream" est la version americaine du film "Requiem pour un beau sans-coeur"

Loue la version quebecoise si tu peux. Tres tres bon.

I don't know where to get the french version, i'll snoop around abit tonight

LOL...you have 1700+ posts but have not yet crossed a Fletch Corona thread.

Requiem for a Dream:

http://us.imdb.com/Title?0180093

#41 on imdb.com. I seriously think this movie should be shown to kids in high school, so they realize the dangers of drug addiction.

Poor baby -- no car at 16...

Guess his friends will have to drive him around. Now there is a deterrent!

:1orglaugh

any renting place in montreal should have it.

where do you live?

He wont stop unless he is ready to stop. You can talk your head off, it will just go in one ear and out the other( might even make him pull away from you). I talk from experience my story is a fucked up one so I wont share cuz I might just make it worst for you. I have been drug free for a long ass time, but it all came from me. I stopped but it was cuz I was ready to stop. Just be a sister and a friend not a parent or a cop. Maybe you should not even bring it up just tell him you love him and that your happy that he is okay then just drop it. He knows he fucked why remind him. good luck:2 cents:

Well Cheshire,

Sometimes kids gotta do what they gotta do, be there to love and support him but also realize that often times all you can do is pray that they make it through the tough years.

When I was 15 I had become a pretty heavy drugie & partier, went to the hospital more than once.

Years later I barely graduated from HS, went in the USAF for a lil over a decade, cleaned up my drug act, then eventually had to clean up my drinking act, got my B.S. with a 4.0 & then decided to quit that & become a full time webslinger...

The moral of this lil tale? Some of us lil drunken, stoned, fucked up heathens turn out ok later on in life... Like I said early on, just pray that he makes it through the rough times ok, and tell him you're worried about his safety, etc... I don't know how much that will do to stop him from doing crazy shit, but all you can do is try and be assured that you've done the best job you can as the big sis.

I dread the day my lil 7 year old sister gets into some shit that I have to talk to her about.... But she's family so I'm suspecting that it might happen sooner or later as well.


Good luck with him and keep a chin up....things usually work out as they should have in the end (yeh I'm a fatalist in some regards LOL)

- type-atcha-later

:1orglaugh

I don't really have any advice for you Cheshire... other than to be honest with him, let him know how much you love him, and tell him you are worried about him.

Good luck.

meh.. it might be shocking to kids that are fairly sheltered.. it wasn't so bad.. plus the kid's doing pot and booze - showing him a movie on heroin won't do jack shit.. not many kids even think about using heroin.. even guys doing meth and that sort of thing don't touch it.. showing him that will just alienate him and quite probably insult him.. it's not like it really shows normal people.. they deal heroin.. it's not a shocking movie.. the best part of it was the mother and the prescription drug abuse..dealt with very well as she slips into a "weightloss" speed psychosis.. they should have cut the kids out of it.. boring as hell another ho-hum "drugs are bad m'kay" cliche bit but too polished and not enough substance... trainspotting was a better movie in that regard..

I believe it's better he gets it out of his system in highschool.. the vast majority of highschool potsmokers stop in their early-mid 20's.. as long as he isn't a heavy user it's a good chance he will. It's a much preferable situation than the sheltered highschool kids that go nuts in college and start in their early 20's.. college is where you start your career.. you can't be fucking that up too much..
the question is making him not become a heavy pot user.. once or twice a fortnight is fine.. every day is not cool in your teens.. it increases the chance of developing psychosis and schizophrenia exponentially..

the other problem is designer drugs.. which as he sounds in an upper class situtation he's in very real danger of.. when I was in Sydney and spoke to people from the richer north shore suburbs it was crazy the amount of ecstasy and other shit they did.. little rich kids with heaps of disposable income.. the dealers target them.. they're like drug guinea pigs.. both parents are working, not at home a lot.. the kids go nuts.. worse than middle class kids smoking pot that can't afford eccies at $25 a pop. they fuck you up if you take them often, screwing with your serotonin levels..

lots of research into the harm they cause.. but heaps of kids do 'em these days.. and it's always hard to warn people off them when they see their friends doing them and having a bunch of fun...
it's a matter of giving real non-propaganda information but at the same time condoning a little experimentation.. casual pot use.. getting drunk every other weekend so your opinions don't clash too much with what he sees around him.

I wish you all the best with your bro.:)

damn dude. Can you get more of the same stuff? :1orglaugh :winkwink:

Hey...your dad was in AA right!? He obviously drank himself there & I'm positive the shitty things he did cuz of drinking wasn't cuz he wanted to, Think about it! Believe me...you're not in control of it. If you don't have the disease, you are...so how would you know?

It's something only other addicts/drunks would understand anyway.

Also, check out the movie "Rush". Another good flick on how it spins way outta control.

15 and a dorm room?

a friend of mine has it, gonna watch it tonight :thumbsup

as sad as it sounds drug addicts either overdose and die or overdose and get straight.

institutions, incarceration, and death isnt that how the rehab saying went.

how do you know I don't understand, you're just assuming I don't. First sign of a fool.

Joining AA is taking controll of your destiny. Blaiming addiction on heredity or saying it's a disease is just removing the blame from where it should land. Even though AA is a little fuzzy on this point, AA makes it's members ask for forgiveness and make amends for wrong doings. Own up to your own problems and don't blaim them on society, friends, genetics, or the like. That's just a scapegoat.

Just because you weren't in controll doesn't mean you arn't responsible for your actions. If you took action to loose controll you're responsible for everything that happens when you're out of controll.