Who wants a free GFY t-shirt?
 

The other week I won a t-shirt for the best business thread. I already got some and I figure someone else needs it more than I do. I've already talked to Sly about it and he siad it's fine if I wanna give it away to someone else.

So here is how you can win it: post a joke in this thread and the one whose joke I find the funniest gets it. One joke per post, if you post more than one only your first one will count as an entry. But by all means, please post lots of them, everyone enjoys a good laugh.

The funniest joke posted before Sunday 23.59 EST gets the t-shirt.

Let's start LOL-ing! :thumbsup

Worlds Oldest Profession

One day a hooker went to file her taxes, and for occupation she put whoring. The tax collector explained that whoring was an illegal occupation. She said she'd have to go home and think about it and that she'd call him back in a hour with her occupation.

An hour later she called him and said, "I've got it... I'm a chicken farmer." He said, "How do you get chicken farmer out of whoring." She said, "I raised over a thousand cocks last year."

gofuckyourself.com "where the industry meets"

Whats Forrest Gump's password?



1Forrest1

:1orglaugh

you can have my shirt

i dont get it ... ? :helpme

Which part?

Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps? Well, they had photos of Manchester United players on them - folk couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

You can keep your tshirt if I can have your votes in round 2 for me as newb of the year :winkwink:

How do you fit four gay guys on a barstool? LOL

i have a closet full,....you had my vote at "Hello" ...fuckin newbs;)

An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scotsman go into a pub and each order a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down, and one lands in each of the pints.
The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint away and demands another pint.
The Scotsman picks out the fly, shrugs and takes a long swallow.
The Irishman reaches into the glass, pinches the fly between his fingers and shakes him while yelling, "Spit it out, ya bastard! Spit it out!"

flip it over? unless it's a 3 legged bar stool ....

I just heard this one last week well drunk,...laughed my ass off......I am a newb as well:1orglaugh

Some really good ones! :1orglaugh

Keep them coming folks! :thumbsup

Charlie was visiting an old friend and his wife for dinner. When the time came to leave, his car wouldn't start, and it was too late to call the local service station.

The husband urged Charlie to stay over. There was no spare bed in the house; there wasn't even a sofa. So Charlie would have to sleep with the husband and wife. No sooner had the husband fallen asleep when the wife taped Charlie on the shoulder and motioned for him to come over to her. "I couldn't do that," he whispered. "Your husband is my best friend!" "Listen, sugar," she whispered back, "there ain't nothing in the whole wide world could wake hime up now." "I can't believe that," Charlie said. "Certainly if I get on top of you and screw you, he'll wake up won't he? "Sugar, he certainly won't. If you don't believe me, pluck a hair out of his asshole and see if that wakes him." Charlie did just that. He was amazed when the husband remained asleep. So he climbed over to the wife's side of the bed and fucked her.

When he finished, he climbed back to his own side. It wasn't long before she tapped him on the shoulder and beckoned him over again. Again he pulled a hair to determine if his old friend was asleep. This went on eight times during the night. Each time Charlie screwed the woman, he first pulled out one of the husband's asshole hairs.

The ninth time he pulled a hair, the husband awoke and muttered: "Listen, Charlie, old pal, I don't mind you fucking my wife, but for Pete's sake, stop using my ass for a scoreboard!"

well in that case :hi lol

no money??

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

Baddog started an SEO host and a PR company

If this is the winning joke, please give it the shirt to woj or shemp <3

Mickey Mouse was talking to his lawyer about getting a divorce from Minnie Mouse.

Eventually the lawyer asks, "I'm afraid I don't know what you mean. You want to divorce Minnie because... she is very silly?"

"No!" says Mickey, "I said because she's fucking Goofy!"

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. "JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" The Teacher fainted.

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

lolz.....

:1orglaugh:1orglaugh:1orglaugh

I liked gotsenile.com better. :1orglaugh

the cowboy had a horse... and the horse had nothing against it

Offergrind


Did I win? ;)

A 65-year old mailman decided it was time to retire. When the small
commmunity he worked for found out, they decided they should do
something nice for him, since he'd served them for the past 45
years.

So, the last day on the job, the mailman went up to the first house,
and the homeowner welcomed him in. They gave him a pile of presents
to thank him for all his hard work.

At the next house they gave him a cheque for 100 dollars, and the 3rd
house, a cheque for 200 dollars.

At the fourth house, a blonde lady answered.
She was wearing silk pajamas, and was motioning him to follow her
upstairs. the mailman had the best sex of his entire life, and when
they were done, he went downstairs. On the table was a huge
breakfast, with waffles, eggs, pancakes, the whole deal, and a cup of
coffee with a 5 dollar bill underneath.

The mailman was curious, so he said to the lady, "I've had the best
day of my entire life, everyone has been so nice to me, but I have to
ask, what's the 5 dollar bill for?"

The lady replied, "I asked my husband what we should do for you and
he said 'fuck him, give him five bucks', but breakfast was my idea."

A man with a mask on walks into a bank and goes to the desk.
He pulls out a gun and points it at the lady at the desk.
He says,'Open the vault skank'.

The woman says, 'Sir, this is a sperm bank. We dont have any money here'.
The man says, 'Open the vault right now or im going to blow your fucking head off'.
She opens the vault and turns back to the man and he said, 'Take out one of those jars'.

The woman said, 'please sir, i promise you we dont have any money here. This is a sperm bank'.
The man said, 'Take out one of those jars right now or ill blow your fucking head off'.

The women turns, grabs the jar and looks back to the man and he said, 'Take lid off and swallow it'.
She looks at him in disgust and pleads to him saying, 'Sir, this is sperm. Please, im not drinking sperm. We dont have any money here. Please leave'.
The man says, 'Take the lid off and drink it or ill blow your fucking head off'.

So the womans takes off the lid and kicks it back real quick and swallows it with little to no problem then turns to look back at the man and to her amazment he took off the mask and it was her husband.
He looked at her and said, 'See! It's not that fucking dificult is it'.

They've been awfully quiet lately. Not fun when they're not blowing their fuses on here. I'm starting to miss them, they were quite entertaining.

:1orglaugh :thumbsup

Why is an elephants sexual organs in their feet?

Because if they step on you you're fucked!

May not be funny but it makes me smile.

https://www.wired.com/2014/12/pirate...ed-taken-down/

Ah, crap, where am I gonna download my 0-day porn releases now? :1orglaugh

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!

Keep them coming people!

that made me a tickle