Who's resume is this? - GoFuckYourself.com

Gabriel · 05-09-2011, 06:25 PM

Who here is from Cleveland Ohio?

ThatOtherGuy - BANNED FOR LIFE · 05-09-2011, 06:27 PM

18K to 250K?

Lulz

fris · 05-09-2011, 06:33 PM

awesome resume

NaughtyRob · 05-09-2011, 06:35 PM

Michael J Martoni

Agent 488 · 05-09-2011, 06:36 PM

bangbros is real ...

kristin · 05-09-2011, 06:37 PM

Oh jeez ...

beerptrol · 05-09-2011, 06:44 PM

Interests.......not drinking. That rules me out lol

Juicy D. Links · 05-09-2011, 06:46 PM

loloollllllllllllllllllllllllll

lagcam · 05-09-2011, 07:05 PM

Who would want to leave a job where your title is "VP of Impressive Business Dealings"?

That is better than having your own whistle.

96ukssob · 05-09-2011, 07:13 PM

that is great

ShellyCrash · 05-09-2011, 09:41 PM

The resume in the picture is bogus, bu this guy on the other hand is serious as a heart attack:

http://www.linkedin.com/pub/keith-clark/23/974/103

Quote:

Keith Clark Author,Entrepreneur, Motivatonal Speaker, and CEO of Jana
Washington D.C. Metro Area Internet
Current: Owner at Jana

Past:
cashier at Firehouse Subs
helper at James Madison Institute
cashier at OfficeMax

Education:
Florida State University
Tallahassee Community College

Summary
Within the next 25 years I plan to turn Jana into a multi-billion dollar corporation.

Specialties
Achieving goals

Experience
Owner
Jana
Internet industry
August 2010 ? Present (10 months)

Internet Entrepreneur
cashier
Firehouse Subs
Privately Held; Restaurants industry
April 2009 ? April 2009 (1 month)

helper
James Madison Institute
Professional Training & Coaching industry
2009 ? 2009 (less than a year)

cashier
OfficeMax
Public Company; OMX; Retail industry
April 2008 ? April 2008 (1 month)

Languages
English (Full professional proficiency)
Spanish (Limited working proficiency)
Education

Florida State University
Economics
2008 ? 2009

Activities and Societies: Chi Phi rush
Tallahassee Community College
2008 ? 2009

RaiderCash_Dominik · 05-09-2011, 09:46 PM

Education: harvard, Yele, Oxford and... drum roll DeVry !!!!!

Agent 488 · 05-09-2011, 09:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShellyCrash

The resume in the picture is bogus, bu this guy on the other hand is serious as a heart attack:

http://www.linkedin.com/pub/keith-clark/23/974/103

has to be a joke ....

http://keithclarksolutions.wordpress.com/

"I called the suicide hotline today, it?s not that I?m suicidal I just needed someone to talk to. I have to make this all work out."

Coup · 05-09-2011, 09:54 PM

lmfao. that's comedy gold right there.

CyberHustler · 05-09-2011, 10:04 PM

Jon Clark is either from there or Toledo.

ShellyCrash · 05-10-2011, 06:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Agent 488

has to be a joke ....

http://keithclarksolutions.wordpress.com/

"I called the suicide hotline today, it?s not that I?m suicidal I just needed someone to talk to. I have to make this all work out."

Did ou read the rest of it? I'm pretty sure it's real. If it's not someone did a really good job.

Some gems:

Quote:

I am smart but I am not a genius, what I am is a 20 year old Internet entrepreneur and CEO of my own company, I have five employees and we are currently working to complete a website named Jana.... With no college degree I make on average $200 a day by sitting on my ass, now in the beginning I said I am not a genius but let?s do some simple math. $200 a day= $73,000 a year= Most people in AMERICA today would die for a $73,000 a year job.

Quote:

I need to upgrade to the macbook but I?m broke as fuck sucks I have to wait 200+ days to receive the $30,000 I?m working hard for. Gary wants to charge $25k for the goddamn domain name, fucking sucks but that?s capitalism for you. The .co is taken as well so some asshole who lives in Saudi Arabia wtf does a Saudi need with a domain name they already own all the oil I guess they want to own the Internet as well.

Quote:

I realized that all the PTC websites I was wasting my time going to were all scams. Looks like the only way I?ll be making over $30,000 is to hit the lottery, Twitter, or complete the website and monetize it. I?ll do all three my goals for January are to hit the lottery, complete some pages of my website, and win that Blackberry sweepstakes.

Chosen · 05-10-2011, 07:34 AM

I LoL'd

CurrentlySober · 05-10-2011, 07:35 AM

I cant afford paper, a stamp and an envelope, to post a CV

Phoenix · 05-10-2011, 07:36 AM

haha...nice one

impressive business dealings...lol

Wizzo · 05-10-2011, 07:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lagcam

Who would want to leave a job where your title is "VP of Impressive Business Dealings"?

That is better than having your own whistle.

I'm going to start pressing the Execs at NOOF for this title....

Gabriel · 05-10-2011, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wizzo

I'm going to start pressing the Execs at NOOF for this title....

Glad the humor wasn't wasted on you. Im actually getting this printed on my "business" cards.

davethedope · 05-10-2011, 09:51 AM

whose resume, not who's

Gabriel · 05-10-2011, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davethedope

whose resume, not who's

yeah, I couldn't change the title once I realized the error.

t/y

AzteK · 05-10-2011, 09:57 AM

fatf00's righting I mean writing couriiier

JFK · 05-10-2011, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaiderCash_Dominik

Education: harvard, Yele, Oxford and... drum roll DeVry !!!!!

saw that as well

Sid70 · 05-10-2011, 10:02 AM

what, you have a position?

lazycash · 05-10-2011, 10:38 AM

Pretty sure thats Jon Clark's resume.

Bull Smoke · 06-13-2011, 10:47 PM

I would definitely hire this person.

Twoface31 · 06-13-2011, 11:05 PM

ummmmmmmmm this is cool ;)

05-09-2011, 06:25 PM	#1
Gabriel Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: So*Cal Posts: 4,789	Who's resume is this? Who here is from Cleveland Ohio? __________________ ICQ#: 142295729

05-09-2011, 06:33 PM	#3
fris Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 55,229	awesome resume __________________ Since 1999: 69 Adult Industry awards for Best Hosting Company and professional excellence. WP Stuff

05-09-2011, 06:35 PM	#4
NaughtyRob Two fresh affiliate progs Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Inside teen pussy Posts: 29,602	Michael J Martoni __________________ [email protected] Skype: 17026955414 Vacares Web Hosting - Protect Your Ass with Included Daily Backups

05-09-2011, 06:37 PM	#6
kristin GOO! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Back Home : ) Posts: 9,768	Oh jeez ... __________________ Vacares rules. "Usually only fat guys have the kind of knowledge and ability that Kristin has."

05-09-2011, 06:44 PM	#7
beerptrol Confirmed Asshole Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Half way between sobriety and fubar. Posts: 12,722	Interests.......not drinking. That rules me out lol __________________ “If we are to have another contest in the near future of our national existence, I predict that the dividing line will not be Mason and Dixon's but between patriotism and intelligence on the one side, and superstition, ambition and ignorance on the other.” -- Ulysses S. Grant

05-09-2011, 06:27 PM	#2
ThatOtherGuy - BANNED FOR LIFE So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 1,241	18K to 250K? Lulz

05-09-2011, 06:36 PM	#5
Agent 488 Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 22,511	bangbros is real ...

05-09-2011, 06:46 PM	#8
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	loloollllllllllllllllllllllllll

05-09-2011, 07:05 PM	#9
lagcam Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 2,892	Who would want to leave a job where your title is "VP of Impressive Business Dealings"? That is better than having your own whistle. __________________ Working Cam site for sale - NOT affiliate.

05-09-2011, 07:13 PM	#10
96ukssob So Fucking Banananananas Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: If I was in your ass you'd know it Posts: 12,991	that is great __________________ Email: Clicky on Me

05-09-2011, 09:46 PM	#12
RaiderCash_Dominik Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 1,145	Education: harvard, Yele, Oxford and... drum roll DeVry !!!!!

05-09-2011, 09:54 PM	#14
Coup 🚨 PBBC International 🚨 Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: /👁\ Posts: 9,932	lmfao. that's comedy gold right there.

05-09-2011, 10:04 PM	#15
CyberHustler So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 25,214	Jon Clark is either from there or Toledo.

05-10-2011, 07:34 AM	#17
Chosen VIPPay.com \| AdultWebSponsors.com Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 63,151	I LoL'd

05-10-2011, 07:35 AM	#18
CurrentlySober Too lazy to wipe my ass Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: A Public Bathroom Posts: 38,490	I cant afford paper, a stamp and an envelope, to post a CV __________________ My AI Handywork... My Dream Gal... XXX 👁️ 👍️ 💩

05-10-2011, 07:36 AM	#19
Phoenix BACON BACON BACON Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Poems everybody, the laddie fancies himself a poet Posts: 35,457	haha...nice one impressive business dealings...lol __________________ Skype Phoenixskype1 Telegram PhoenixBrad https://quantads.io

05-10-2011, 09:51 AM	#22
davethedope Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 532	whose resume, not who's

05-10-2011, 09:57 AM	#24
AzteK Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Northern Cali, USA Posts: 3,439	fatf00's righting I mean writing couriiier __________________ WANTED: Buying Blog Posts and Links

05-10-2011, 10:02 AM	#26
Sid70 Downshifter Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Road trip Posts: 16,413	what, you have a position? __________________ Русня, идите нахуй!

05-10-2011, 10:38 AM	#27
lazycash Troll Patrol Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Local Socal Posts: 15,214	Pretty sure thats Jon Clark's resume. __________________ "WTF, on google you can find the answer to every question in human history, EXCEPT how to convert cams.. Its crazy..." VenusBlogger

06-13-2011, 10:47 PM	#28
Bull Smoke Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 115	I would definitely hire this person.

06-13-2011, 11:05 PM	#29
Twoface31 Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 2,746	ummmmmmmmm this is cool ;) __________________ Email: [email protected] HentaiG4h * Lusty Life ICQ: 291-953