Dear God please help me - GoFuckYourself.com

SleazyDream · 06-24-2011, 12:52 AM

no one is going to believe this

It started a couple days ago. I often work late and I hear some noise in the bushes outside my office window. At first i thought it might be the wind, but then I realized there was no wind that night. So thoughts of a cat or a skunk came into my head. Praying that the access panel to under my house was in place, I looked out the window and saw what seemed like a large child's head pull up against the house. Thinking it was some kids playing a prank, I went to my outside door to scare the kid by asking what he was doing. When I came around the corner of the house, nothing was there. Oh well, I shrugged and headed back inside but looking up, as I often do cause I like looking at the stars, i saw what might have been a shooting star. At least at first. I was happy to see it, and it had a tail behind it too, a rare site. Until suddenly it made a right angle turn and headed up into the sky further till it disappeared. I had never seen that before and it made me think i had just seen a UFO. Somehow I felt a little scared but I was more curious about what i had seen then anything. I went back in and snuggled back up to my girlfriend and told her the story. She thought it was interesting, and that was it for the night.

The next night I heard the rustling again, and I saw what seemed like a light from below my window. I was curious and scared, thinking it might be an alien but then telling myself that would be foolish to think such things. I was too afraid to get up close to the window though, so i went outside quietly and when I turned the corner to see where the noise came from I saw a blur from something that moved very quickly around another corner of the house. I wasn't sure what to do, so I headed back in and looked up again to the sky. Suddenly, I saw what could have been the same shooting star again, but it seemed to be going up and not down or across the sky. Creepy. Nothing else happened that night.

The next night I heard more noises, and mustering up more courage I went outside fast to see what it was. There, in my front lawn in full view was something I had never seen before. I don't know how to describe it, so i won't. Actually some of this is still a little foggy in my memory, but I know I blacked out and then woke up standing up in my front yard. I'd like to say i was missing time, but I didn't check the time when I went out and when i came back in it seemed to be about right, as if I didn't miss any time or the like. Somehow I knew I had been out for a few hours or more though. Weird feeling.

All the next day my ass was itchy. It's happened before, one of those just gota scratch it kind of feelings, but it kept happening all day long. I felt like a weirdo scratching my ass, and I needed to scratch it all over the hole and such. It got so bad I started to wonder if this is how it feels to be gay, so I looked at some gay porn. Nope, still made me wana puke. Not gay, just an itchy asshole. Very itchy.

Anyway, nothing that night, no noise, no lights in the sky, nothing. I started to think it was all in my head as I worked away at my computer, noting the time was 2 am. Suddenly as I was working the time was 5 am. I had no idea where the time had gone, totally missing from my memory and no addition work had been done. I figured I had just dozed off in my chair though, it's happened before. I got up and went to bed with the girlfriend, but this time my cock was itchy. Just under the head, on the backside. And itchy bad. Starting to think i might have an STD or something. but scratching it made it better and I'm no stranger to pulling my wiener so this wasn't much different. No biggie.

Now this might all seem weird, but tonight as I'm typing this, I know I'm not at home. Sure it looks like my home and my office, but I know I'm not there. Somehow I'm somewhere else, and it's weird. I know I need help, I'm in over my head and I can't get out. It's like I'm in a virtual reality, it's not real but everything looks and feels real like my actual house, right down to Skufty sleeping by my side. But I don't know where I am.

Can someone please help me? What's happening? Why isn't this real? I have this creepy feeling something is going to happen, and I don't know what it is.

help? suggestions? has anyone else experienced anything like this before?

munki · 06-24-2011, 12:56 AM

When's the last time you got sleep?

sponsorpimp · 06-24-2011, 12:58 AM

Yep you are right no one is going to believe you. I want some of what you are taking

onwebcam · 06-24-2011, 01:10 AM

meth is bad for you

Pornopat · 06-24-2011, 01:20 AM

Somebody get a moderator to delete this thread asap before one of the other prospects sees it!

OY · 06-24-2011, 01:22 AM

Someone hacked Sleazys account.

the Shemp · 06-24-2011, 01:41 AM

the aliens improved your spelling ...

grumpy · 06-24-2011, 02:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the Shemp

the aliens improved your spelling ...

seeandsee · 06-24-2011, 02:09 AM

did you was under some kind of I?

mightyjoe · 06-24-2011, 02:23 AM

well if you want some guys believes you, set up surveillance camera. video that damn thing.

FlowerKid · 06-24-2011, 02:23 AM

They come to take over the world sooner or later.

loreen · 06-24-2011, 02:40 AM

buzzard · 06-24-2011, 02:45 AM

All your base are belong to us
.

BradBangs · 06-24-2011, 02:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SleazyDream

I went back in and snuggled back up to my girlfriend

You are right. No one is going to believe that.

mavruda · 06-24-2011, 02:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loreen

LOL Awesome gig Loreen! :-)

mavruda · 06-24-2011, 02:53 AM

theking · 06-24-2011, 02:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the Shemp

the aliens improved your spelling ...

Shemp...

sponsorpimp · 06-24-2011, 03:09 AM

BE WARNED - SCARY ALIEN!!!

adult-help · 06-24-2011, 03:16 AM

this is not normal but on meth it is..

scarlettcontent · 06-24-2011, 03:53 AM

nice story of anal probing

Overload · 06-24-2011, 04:05 AM

no more LSD at night might help?

Sid70 · 06-24-2011, 04:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seeandsee

did you was under some kind of I?

Ah, here we go, welcome Alien rep speaking Engreash with us

$ex · 06-24-2011, 05:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sponsorpimp

BE WARNED - SCARY ALIEN!!!

Fuck - Scared the shit out of me

TheSquealer · 06-24-2011, 05:41 AM

NOW THATS FUCKING CRAZY...

suddenly he doesn't have the spelling and grammar of a 1/2 retarded 5th grader.

Spunky · 06-24-2011, 05:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the Shemp

the aliens improved your spelling ...

,He copied and pasted this from somewhere

adultforum · 06-24-2011, 05:54 AM

Stop smoking marijuana

)

CaptainHowdy · 06-24-2011, 05:57 AM

PornGreen · 06-24-2011, 07:06 AM

you are right. i don't believe you.

MrBottomTooth · 06-24-2011, 07:23 AM

We know it's BS because your girlfriend left you when you went bankrupt.

2MuchMark · 06-24-2011, 07:54 AM

No such thing as aliens visiting earth, ghosts or other weird stuff.

L-Pink · 06-24-2011, 08:01 AM

So being freaked out by a possible alien encounter you naturally watch some gay porn and scratched your asshole? ...... You never let us down.

.

spazlabz · 06-24-2011, 08:54 AM

interesting and strange story to say the least. Watch out though, I hear aliens are quite horny and you might be making hybrids!

Adraco · 06-24-2011, 09:03 AM

Hush, don't tell people about our little "special" secret, we agreed not to tell anyone !!!

DateDoc · 06-24-2011, 09:11 AM

acid trip

halfpint · 06-24-2011, 09:20 AM

WOW I realy dont know what to say

J. Falcon · 06-24-2011, 09:20 AM

Quite frankly, your story sucks.

B.Barnato · 06-24-2011, 09:22 AM

yes the spelling also threw me off after the first few error free sentences

JamesGw · 06-24-2011, 10:12 AM

Cool story.

Needs more explosions, though.

alias · 06-24-2011, 10:19 AM

cooldude7 · 06-24-2011, 10:35 AM

i checked google., this is a lot of fresh content for my blog.,

btw, take some sleep.

Double trouble · 06-24-2011, 10:52 AM

TondaB · 06-24-2011, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JamesGw

Cool story.

Needs more explosions, though.

My thoughts exactly! I want to read more

martinsc · 06-24-2011, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the Shemp

the aliens improved your spelling ...

Chosen · 06-24-2011, 01:35 PM

Coup · 06-24-2011, 01:37 PM

you have bed bugs

JFK · 06-24-2011, 02:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spunky

,He copied and pasted this from somewhere

alien manifesto ?

Imortyl Pussycat · 06-24-2011, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adultforum

Stop smoking marijuana

)

start smoking marijuana! i don't know where this post came from babe but i giggles from beginning to end

i have to call you now, lol. get the story behind the story

DaLord · 06-24-2011, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loreen

HAHAHAHA I love the LSD-look

SleazyDream · 06-24-2011, 04:31 PM

;)

........

CDSmith · 06-25-2011, 12:56 PM

There actually were reports of UFO sightings over Winnipeg last week.

I'm glad they chose to leave my ass alone.

06-24-2011, 12:52 AM	#1
SleazyDream I'm here for SPORT Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phone # (401) 285-0696 Posts: 41,470	Dear God please help me no one is going to believe this It started a couple days ago. I often work late and I hear some noise in the bushes outside my office window. At first i thought it might be the wind, but then I realized there was no wind that night. So thoughts of a cat or a skunk came into my head. Praying that the access panel to under my house was in place, I looked out the window and saw what seemed like a large child's head pull up against the house. Thinking it was some kids playing a prank, I went to my outside door to scare the kid by asking what he was doing. When I came around the corner of the house, nothing was there. Oh well, I shrugged and headed back inside but looking up, as I often do cause I like looking at the stars, i saw what might have been a shooting star. At least at first. I was happy to see it, and it had a tail behind it too, a rare site. Until suddenly it made a right angle turn and headed up into the sky further till it disappeared. I had never seen that before and it made me think i had just seen a UFO. Somehow I felt a little scared but I was more curious about what i had seen then anything. I went back in and snuggled back up to my girlfriend and told her the story. She thought it was interesting, and that was it for the night. The next night I heard the rustling again, and I saw what seemed like a light from below my window. I was curious and scared, thinking it might be an alien but then telling myself that would be foolish to think such things. I was too afraid to get up close to the window though, so i went outside quietly and when I turned the corner to see where the noise came from I saw a blur from something that moved very quickly around another corner of the house. I wasn't sure what to do, so I headed back in and looked up again to the sky. Suddenly, I saw what could have been the same shooting star again, but it seemed to be going up and not down or across the sky. Creepy. Nothing else happened that night. The next night I heard more noises, and mustering up more courage I went outside fast to see what it was. There, in my front lawn in full view was something I had never seen before. I don't know how to describe it, so i won't. Actually some of this is still a little foggy in my memory, but I know I blacked out and then woke up standing up in my front yard. I'd like to say i was missing time, but I didn't check the time when I went out and when i came back in it seemed to be about right, as if I didn't miss any time or the like. Somehow I knew I had been out for a few hours or more though. Weird feeling. All the next day my ass was itchy. It's happened before, one of those just gota scratch it kind of feelings, but it kept happening all day long. I felt like a weirdo scratching my ass, and I needed to scratch it all over the hole and such. It got so bad I started to wonder if this is how it feels to be gay, so I looked at some gay porn. Nope, still made me wana puke. Not gay, just an itchy asshole. Very itchy. Anyway, nothing that night, no noise, no lights in the sky, nothing. I started to think it was all in my head as I worked away at my computer, noting the time was 2 am. Suddenly as I was working the time was 5 am. I had no idea where the time had gone, totally missing from my memory and no addition work had been done. I figured I had just dozed off in my chair though, it's happened before. I got up and went to bed with the girlfriend, but this time my cock was itchy. Just under the head, on the backside. And itchy bad. Starting to think i might have an STD or something. but scratching it made it better and I'm no stranger to pulling my wiener so this wasn't much different. No biggie. Now this might all seem weird, but tonight as I'm typing this, I know I'm not at home. Sure it looks like my home and my office, but I know I'm not there. Somehow I'm somewhere else, and it's weird. I know I need help, I'm in over my head and I can't get out. It's like I'm in a virtual reality, it's not real but everything looks and feels real like my actual house, right down to Skufty sleeping by my side. But I don't know where I am. Can someone please help me? What's happening? Why isn't this real? I have this creepy feeling something is going to happen, and I don't know what it is. help? suggestions? has anyone else experienced anything like this before? __________________ This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! Now read without the word dog.

06-24-2011, 12:56 AM	#2
munki Do Fun Shit. Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: OC Posts: 13,393	When's the last time you got sleep? __________________ “I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.” -Oscar Wilde

06-24-2011, 12:58 AM	#3
sponsorpimp Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 1,567	Yep you are right no one is going to believe you. I want some of what you are taking __________________

06-24-2011, 01:10 AM	#4
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06-24-2011, 01:20 AM	#5
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06-24-2011, 01:22 AM	#6
OY Industry Pioneer Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: USA/EU/ASIA Posts: 5,401	Someone hacked Sleazys account. __________________ Around since 1997, and the company that introduced "Cascading Billing" in MPA3® Affiliate Management and Tracking Software Outsourcing With A Norwegian Twist - NordBits - Inquire within!

06-24-2011, 01:41 AM	#7
the Shemp congrats to the winners Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Echo Beach Posts: 10,891	the aliens improved your spelling ... __________________ i use Vacares...so should you Submit your picture galleries to my site...Outlaw TGP

06-24-2011, 02:09 AM	#9
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06-24-2011, 02:23 AM	#10
mightyjoe Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 1,395	well if you want some guys believes you, set up surveillance camera. video that damn thing.

06-24-2011, 02:23 AM	#11
FlowerKid Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Zurich Posts: 1,045	They come to take over the world sooner or later. __________________

06-24-2011, 02:40 AM	#12
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06-24-2011, 02:45 AM	#13
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06-24-2011, 02:53 AM	#16
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06-24-2011, 03:09 AM	#18
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06-24-2011, 03:16 AM	#19
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06-24-2011, 03:53 AM	#20
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06-24-2011, 04:05 AM	#21
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06-24-2011, 05:41 AM	#24
TheSquealer BANNED Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: In Your Head Posts: 25,104	NOW THATS FUCKING CRAZY... suddenly he doesn't have the spelling and grammar of a 1/2 retarded 5th grader.

06-24-2011, 05:54 AM	#26
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06-24-2011, 05:57 AM	#27
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06-24-2011, 07:06 AM	#28
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06-24-2011, 07:23 AM	#29
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06-24-2011, 07:54 AM	#30
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06-24-2011, 08:01 AM	#31
L-Pink working on my tan Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida/Kentucky Posts: 39,151	So being freaked out by a possible alien encounter you naturally watch some gay porn and scratched your asshole? ...... You never let us down. .

06-24-2011, 08:54 AM	#32
spazlabz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Kentucky Posts: 6,548	interesting and strange story to say the least. Watch out though, I hear aliens are quite horny and you might be making hybrids!

06-24-2011, 09:03 AM	#33
Adraco Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2009 Location: Onboard an airplane around the globe Posts: 3,734	Hush, don't tell people about our little "special" secret, we agreed not to tell anyone !!! __________________ ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The truth is not affected by the beliefs, or doubts, of the majority.

06-24-2011, 09:11 AM	#34
DateDoc Outside looking in. Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: To Hell You Ride Posts: 14,243	acid trip __________________

06-24-2011, 09:20 AM	#35
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06-24-2011, 09:20 AM	#36
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06-24-2011, 09:22 AM	#37
B.Barnato So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 3,618	yes the spelling also threw me off after the first few error free sentences

06-24-2011, 10:12 AM	#38
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06-24-2011, 10:19 AM	#39
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06-24-2011, 10:35 AM	#40
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06-24-2011, 10:52 AM	#41
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06-24-2011, 01:35 PM	#44
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