What The Fuck Is This World Coming To? - GoFuckYourself.com

marketsmart · 07-27-2011, 01:56 PM

so i've been a little stressed lately and decided i would go get a massage.. its been quite some time since i have been. anyway, there is a massage place down the road from my house and decided to go there. its in the back of a strip mall, but looks very professional from the outside. so i go in and there is a nice lady behind the counter, she asks me if i have been there before and i tell her no. the first thing she asked me is what i did for a living, which i thought was odd. she told me i looked like a policeman which i found even odder because i have longer hair, but i'm in pretty good shape so maybe thats why she asked. normally at massage places they ask you to fill out a questionnaire, but she just said wait right here i will be right back. she comes back out with 3 girls and tells me i could pick one. this must be a family because because everyone in the place was asian. anyway i had a hard time picking because without knowing their qualifications, how could i know which girl was best. maybe one was good at deep tissue but not swedish message. i ending up settling on a girl that looked like she had good hands. she took me in the back to one of the massage rooms and told me to get comfortable. i like to be naked when i get massaged, so i took off my clothes and got on the table and covered up with a towel. the girl came in and started to put oil on me and give me a message. i have to tell you this was one of the worst messages i have ever gotten. after like 10 minutes she asks me to turn over onto my back and then asks me if i want happy ending. of course i wanted a happy ending this was the worst message ever, so i said yes. instead of giving me a happy ending, she pulls my towel off, puts some lotion on her hands and starts grabbing my cock. i was mortified. i got off the table, put my clothes on, and stormed out. i told the lady at the front desk that i dont where they went to message school, but in this country you dont just go grabbing guys cocks. i think thats illegal.

anyway, stay away from asian massage parlors. they dont know how to massage worth shit...

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GrouchyAdmin · 07-27-2011, 01:58 PM

Voted 1, Comedy Cramps.

I'd have given you a 3 if you were raped by a tranny.

Harmon · 07-27-2011, 01:59 PM

Next time format your copy/paste. It would be funnier.

marketsmart · 07-27-2011, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harmon

Next time format your copy/paste. It would be funnier.

i wrote that fuck face...

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seeandsee · 07-27-2011, 02:01 PM

sorry are you a gay? :D

i mean girl jrkng your cock is not that bad

marketsmart · 07-27-2011, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by seeandsee

sorry are you a gay? :D

i mean girl jrkng your cock is not that bad

thats how you get aids bro..

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Harmon · 07-27-2011, 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marketsmart

i wrote that fuck face...
.

I saw before your edit. Yikes man. Don't be so mad, just sayin

bushwacker · 07-27-2011, 02:03 PM

Not one of your best efforts. I expect more from you.

marketsmart · 07-27-2011, 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GrouchyAdmin

Voted 1, Comedy Cramps.

I'd have given you a 3 if you were raped by a tranny.

i cant talk about that until the police investigation is finished..

the detectives said it could hurt the case...

.

DudeRick · 07-27-2011, 02:03 PM

You can't be that naive!

marketsmart · 07-27-2011, 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Harmon

I saw before your edit. Yikes man. Don't be so mad, just sayin

thats like telling da vinci he didnt paint the mona lisa...

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marketsmart · 07-27-2011, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DudeRick

You can't be that naive!

what do you mean?

that i shouldnt expect quality service from an asian owned business?

are you racist or something?

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L-Pink · 07-27-2011, 02:06 PM

Those asian places are a rip-off, they always charge extra to piss on the girls.

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marketsmart · 07-27-2011, 02:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-Pink

Those asian places are a rip-off, they always charge extra to piss on the girls.

.

i think you meant to say kiss and i dont really think that kissing your message therapist is appropriate asian or otherwise..

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punker barbie · 07-27-2011, 02:12 PM

ive got a friend who is totally into that but he makes sure to squeeze in a solid 40 minute message before she jerks him off.

07-27-2011, 01:56 PM	#1
marketsmart HOMICIDAL TROLL KILLER Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Sunnybrook Institution for the Criminally Insane Posts: 20,419	What The Fuck Is This World Coming To? so i've been a little stressed lately and decided i would go get a massage.. its been quite some time since i have been. anyway, there is a massage place down the road from my house and decided to go there. its in the back of a strip mall, but looks very professional from the outside. so i go in and there is a nice lady behind the counter, she asks me if i have been there before and i tell her no. the first thing she asked me is what i did for a living, which i thought was odd. she told me i looked like a policeman which i found even odder because i have longer hair, but i'm in pretty good shape so maybe thats why she asked. normally at massage places they ask you to fill out a questionnaire, but she just said wait right here i will be right back. she comes back out with 3 girls and tells me i could pick one. this must be a family because because everyone in the place was asian. anyway i had a hard time picking because without knowing their qualifications, how could i know which girl was best. maybe one was good at deep tissue but not swedish message. i ending up settling on a girl that looked like she had good hands. she took me in the back to one of the massage rooms and told me to get comfortable. i like to be naked when i get massaged, so i took off my clothes and got on the table and covered up with a towel. the girl came in and started to put oil on me and give me a message. i have to tell you this was one of the worst messages i have ever gotten. after like 10 minutes she asks me to turn over onto my back and then asks me if i want happy ending. of course i wanted a happy ending this was the worst message ever, so i said yes. instead of giving me a happy ending, she pulls my towel off, puts some lotion on her hands and starts grabbing my cock. i was mortified. i got off the table, put my clothes on, and stormed out. i told the lady at the front desk that i dont where they went to message school, but in this country you dont just go grabbing guys cocks. i think thats illegal. anyway, stay away from asian massage parlors. they dont know how to massage worth shit... .

07-27-2011, 01:58 PM	#2
GrouchyAdmin Now choke yourself! Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 12,085	Voted 1, Comedy Cramps. I'd have given you a 3 if you were raped by a tranny. __________________ AIM: GrouchyGfy

07-27-2011, 02:01 PM	#5
seeandsee Check SIG! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Europe (Skype: gojkoas) Posts: 50,945	sorry are you a gay? :D i mean girl jrkng your cock is not that bad __________________ BUY MY SIG - 50$/Year Contact here

07-27-2011, 02:12 PM	#15
punker barbie Meow Meow!!! Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: San Diego, California Posts: 10,226	ive got a friend who is totally into that but he makes sure to squeeze in a solid 40 minute message before she jerks him off. __________________ Chaturbate Affiliate Support: [email protected]

07-27-2011, 01:59 PM	#3
Harmon ( ͡ʘ╭͜ʖ╮͡ʘ) Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 20,000	Next time format your copy/paste. It would be funnier.

07-27-2011, 02:03 PM	#8
bushwacker Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: so. fla. Posts: 2,817	Not one of your best efforts. I expect more from you.

07-27-2011, 02:03 PM	#10
DudeRick Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Tobacco Road Posts: 1,568	You can't be that naive!

07-27-2011, 02:06 PM	#13
L-Pink working on my tan Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida/Kentucky Posts: 39,152	Those asian places are a rip-off, they always charge extra to piss on the girls. .