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Old 01-03-2013, 07:08 AM   #1
CurrentlySober
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Suggest a good crime for me to commit?

I fancy having a free holiday, at the tax payers expense, in one of the UK 'Holiday Camp' jails...

You know, 3 Hots and a cot, TV - XBOX etc etc... For about 6 months - With no bills to pay, and no real responsibilities either......

Point is though, I dont wanna really hurt anyone else, or cause pain or suffering on another...

Just thought 6 months free bed and board may be fun... So what crime should I commit?

Thanks in advance
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Old 01-03-2013, 07:08 AM   #2
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Trying to think of a shit related crime...........
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Old 01-03-2013, 07:10 AM   #3
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Trying to think of a shit related crime...........
But all crime is pretty shit, No?

The only thing that isnt shit, is the FREE 6 month holiday, with nothing to do or worry about...
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Old 01-03-2013, 07:20 AM   #4
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go to 10 Downing Street in a trench coat and flash the PM
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Old 01-03-2013, 07:22 AM   #5
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Grow weed and sell it.
At least I know one guy in UK who tried that and achieved what you wanted few years ago.
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Old 01-03-2013, 07:26 AM   #6
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Old 01-03-2013, 07:33 AM   #7
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But all crime is pretty shit, No?

The only thing that isnt shit, is the FREE 6 month holiday, with nothing to do or worry about...
I bet you get free dental aswell
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Old 01-03-2013, 07:39 AM   #8
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I bet you get free dental aswell
Free dental anyway... Free healthcare all over in the UK...

http://www.nhs.uk/
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Old 01-03-2013, 07:45 AM   #9
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Become a Poop Pirate, obviously...

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Old 01-03-2013, 08:17 AM   #10
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go to 10 Downing Street in a trench coat and flash the PM
Tried that late last year... Police wouldn't let me thru the gates !

Something to do with my pedal bike? I called them all 'Plebs' and just moved on with my life...

Apparently, theres something about it online, but I've never bothered to search...

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Old 01-03-2013, 08:37 AM   #11
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*cough* Chris Mallick *cough*
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Old 01-03-2013, 08:40 AM   #12
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*cough* Chris Mallick *cough*
No, I want to get AT LEAST 6 Months...

Not nothing at all whatsoever...
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Old 01-03-2013, 08:41 AM   #13
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*cough*I mean he's still alive *cough*
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Old 01-03-2013, 08:45 AM   #14
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*cough*I mean he's still alive *cough*
Yeah, but I never said I want to die...

Infact I stated that I DIDNT want to hurt anyone... I just wanna go to jail, for about 6 months...

I just fancy a fucking holiday - Thats all - I dont want be a cunt to anyone...
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Old 01-03-2013, 08:50 AM   #15
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What if he dies "by accident" and you get caught having sex with the body?
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Old 01-03-2013, 08:59 AM   #16
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What if he dies "by accident" and you get caught having sex with the body?
Its PERVERTS like YOU! That SPOIL GFY!

This is supposed to be an adult industry board - "where the industry meets' etc...

I come here to post about BUSINESS... Both to help others make money, and to enlarge my OWN income...

BUT YOU???

You obviously come here to discuss necrophillia! Good god man? What is next? Excrement... ???

I pity your mother dude, and Eric is being informed about your sick perversity as we speak !!!






Happy Poo Year U-Bob
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Old 01-03-2013, 09:26 AM   #17
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Flaming shit bags thrown at Mr Cameron and/or the tea boy Clegg.

Might gain you a bit of notoriety though.
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Old 01-03-2013, 09:34 AM   #18
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Flaming shit bags thrown at Mr Cameron and/or the tea boy Clegg.

Might gain you a bit of notoriety though.
I dont want notoriety... I have enough of that on GFY..

I just wanna go to jail for 6 months...
thats all
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Old 01-03-2013, 09:38 AM   #19
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I dont want notoriety... I have enough of that on GFY..

I just wanna go to jail for 6 months...
thats all


Wait! If we suggest something and you carry it out, we could be in trouble too!
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Old 01-12-2013, 09:22 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by CurrentlySober View Post
I fancy having a free holiday, at the tax payers expense, in one of the UK 'Holiday Camp' jails...

You know, 3 Hots and a cot, TV - XBOX etc etc... For about 6 months - With no bills to pay, and no real responsibilities either......

Point is though, I dont wanna really hurt anyone else, or cause pain or suffering on another...

Just thought 6 months free bed and board may be fun... So what crime should I commit?

Thanks in advance
i cunt afford to commit a crime
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Old 01-12-2013, 09:53 PM   #21
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I fancy having a free holiday, at the tax payers expense, in one of the UK 'Holiday Camp' jails...

You know, 3 Hots and a cot, TV - XBOX etc etc... For about 6 months - With no bills to pay, and no real responsibilities either......

Point is though, I dont wanna really hurt anyone else, or cause pain or suffering on another...

Just thought 6 months free bed and board may be fun... So what crime should I commit?

Thanks in advance
Harass a cop or local judge by repeatedly calling them at home over and over asking them for advice on this, I am sure they will help you achieve your desire.
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Old 01-13-2013, 02:37 AM   #22
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Free dental anyway... Free healthcare all over in the UK...

http://www.nhs.uk/
Socialized dental sucks - have you ever seem a pom with good teeth
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Old 01-13-2013, 02:41 AM   #23
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Socialized dental sucks - have you ever seem a pom with good teeth
Yeah, I've seen a few who really care about it. You can pay to go private and have all the cosmetic stuff done like in the USA if you want.

But most people dont bother.

Its relatively affordable, if you want it, but the thing is that the UK doesn't place as much emphasis on perfect pearly whites as the USA does...

Its more of a cultural thing really
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Old 01-13-2013, 03:03 AM   #24
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That's easy - moonshinning! - distill some booze and get caught.
till you get caught, you got cheap booze and can make some money. it's not like drugs, the gov't sells the crap itself. just do it right and no one gets hurt, you get knowledgeable on something you can make in prison and be a hero there, and you don't do drugs, hell even the judge convicting you has drank booze, it's just about not paying gov't tax on it's manufacture. no one gets hurt, short sentence, it's what you want to do
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Old 01-13-2013, 03:11 AM   #25
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Have luck getting caught...NOT!

ADG
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Old 01-13-2013, 03:13 AM   #26
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That's easy - moonshinning! - distill some booze and get caught.
till you get caught, you got cheap booze and can make some money. it's not like drugs, the gov't sells the crap itself. just do it right and no one gets hurt, you get knowledgeable on something you can make in prison and be a hero there, and you don't do drugs, hell even the judge convicting you has drank booze, it's just about not paying gov't tax on it's manufacture. no one gets hurt, short sentence, it's what you want to do
hi, and welcome
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Old 01-13-2013, 03:27 AM   #27
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Suicide?........
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Old 01-13-2013, 03:45 AM   #28
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Suicide?........
Buddy - Chillaxxx ! WTF?

I would NEVER wish suicide on my worst enemy, neither online, or in real life

Dont take a message board called Go Fuck Yourself so seriously! Life's too short !

Just ask Paul Markham...

Really, cheer up - Even if no one else will say 'I love you' to you... I will

I LOVE you georgeyw, and I wish you nothing but all the best, for all the rest of your life...

I'm here for you if you ever wanna chat - But if you ARE feeling like suicide is an option, then please, even if you DONT speak to me - Talk to a professional, yeah?

Life is to precious to throw away - Peace.
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Old 01-13-2013, 06:33 AM   #29
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Aren't you already a father?? I can't think of a better crime than that ...
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Old 01-13-2013, 07:32 AM   #30
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It should be a crime with all the wasted space you make on this site
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Old 01-13-2013, 01:55 PM   #31
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It should be a crime with all the wasted space you make on this site
Dear Brian,

Please take a look at the forums title... (Not the URL... The TITLE)

FUCKING AROUND &...

* me Shrugs *
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Old 01-13-2013, 02:11 PM   #32
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Aren't you already a father?? I can't think of a better crime than that ...
Point taken, but I've already done my time on that one!

My Boys a grown man now - 22 - With kids of his own

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Old 01-13-2013, 02:38 PM   #33
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Point taken, but I've already done my time on that one!

My Boys a grown man now - 22 - With kids of his own





ADG
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Old 01-13-2013, 02:44 PM   #34
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ADG

LOL

I AM Home - There for hm every second of the way !

Infact, I bought him a car, and I pay for servicing, tax, insurance, the 'MOT' (British Thing) etc etc...

He COULD pay it all himself...

But I finance him, in order to give him a step up in life...

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Old 01-13-2013, 03:04 PM   #35
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Something white collar - which seems to be easy as pie on this island from watching the news. Donate the money anonymously to a charity until you get caught. No harm other than a few bankers not getting quite as big a bonus next year.
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Old 01-13-2013, 03:16 PM   #36
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Tried that late last year... Police wouldn't let me thru the gates !

Something to do with my pedal bike? I called them all 'Plebs' and just moved on with my life...

Apparently, theres something about it online, but I've never bothered to search...

Take a massive shit in front of Harrod's and then scoop it and plaster the windows...
Your three hots and a cot might come with a rubber room but the meds could be nice if you can smuggle in alcohol.
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