Fucking Canadian Customs.... - GoFuckYourself.com

AaronM · 02-19-2003, 05:29 PM

Customs Agent: What do you do for a living?

Me: Porn.

Customs Agent: Come with me please.

About one hour, 3 interviews, drug sniffing dogs, and a full vehicle search later........

Customs Agent: Are you here on business?

Me: Nope.....Pleasure.

Customs Agent: Why do you have all this equipment with you?

Me: I shoot as a hobby as well.

Customs Agent: Were you working in the car on the way up here?

Me: Uh...Nooooo.

Customs Agent: Then why are there 2 open condom wrappers in the back of the car?

Me: Good question.

Customs Agent: Enjoy your stay.

boneprone · 02-19-2003, 05:34 PM

that border is the worse. (the Washington to Vancover drive through border check)

I was very late to the Vancover show and missed the Shaw party becasue I was detained at the border in that office for 3 fucking long hours.

They had decided to send me back 2 times and changed their mind back and fourth as they pulled records called supervisors and all that bullshit.

They told me next time they wont let me in unless I have a note from an attorney or a court clerk.. A note that basically doesnt exist, something I can not come up with.

No love for the BP4L at that border.
I may not make the Vancover show this year if they decide to "randomly" tell me to pull in to the office for intergation again.

They said they have me flagged now not to let me in unless I have some fucking note.

pine · 02-19-2003, 05:36 PM

Dude, why invite trouble? It should have been like this:

Customs Agent: What do you do for a living?

Aaron M: < something mundane >

Customs Agent: Have a nice stay.

boneprone · 02-19-2003, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pine
Dude, why invite trouble? It should have been like this:

Customs Agent: What do you do for a living?

Aaron M: < something mundane >

Customs Agent: Have a nice stay.

I tell em I run Nursing Homes.

nunny · 02-19-2003, 05:38 PM

what a dump fuck. u should have told them that you're holywood cleaner.

directfiesta · 02-19-2003, 05:40 PM

It's the same going in the US. I always answer : computer solutions. I have a business card to that effect.

You answer porn, you are dead shit!!

pine · 02-19-2003, 05:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by boneprone
I tell em I run Nursing Homes.

You mean that big Glass Dildo on the dashboard doesn't tip them off that you're in "The Biz"?

AaronM · 02-19-2003, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pine
Dude, why invite trouble? It should have been like this:

Customs Agent: What do you do for a living?

Aaron M: < something mundane >

Customs Agent: Have a nice stay.

I had 2 models, cameras, computers, and studio lights with me...If they decided to do a random check then I would have been fucked. Not hard to tell what I do when I have business cards, content, and that kind of equipment with me.

AaronM · 02-19-2003, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by nunny
what a dump fuck. u should have told them that you're holywood cleaner.

And I should remind boneprone that you are really lucloney and that he needs to ban your IP.

Wanna test the family?

AaronM · 02-19-2003, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by pine

You mean that big Glass Dildo on the dashboard doesn't tip them off that you're in "The Biz"?

That is a cane....For a midget.

pine · 02-19-2003, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AaronM

I had 2 models, cameras, computers, and studio lights with me...If they decided to do a random check then I would have been fucked. Not hard to tell what I do when I have business cards, content, and that kind of equipment with me.

You could have tried the ol' "Documentary Filmmaker" dodge.

XxXotic · 02-19-2003, 05:52 PM

Quote:

[i]

Customs Agent: Then why are there 2 open condom wrappers in the back of the car?

[/B]

TSB Rolled up there with ya?

02-19-2003, 05:55 PM

Yeah, just say you're a photographer. Don't lie, but don't give too much information.

Border guards can fuck you up bad if you lie. I know of a guy that can no longer enter the U.S. because he got caught lying about a drunk driving conviction.

All it takes is for them to be in a bad mood or for you to look at them funny.

nunny · 02-19-2003, 05:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AaronM

And I should remind boneprone that you are really lucloney and that he needs to ban your IP.

Wanna test the family?

are you threatening me ?

u sure dont' want to ban some1 on 5000+ proxy .

Rip · 02-19-2003, 05:56 PM

Yeah, don't lie

-Spin It-

I do;

Graphics Design for the www

Server Script Coding

Dynamic Html Scripts

Java Development

Image Compression And Optimization

Digital Photogrpahy For Web Designers

Etc
Etc

AaronM · 02-19-2003, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by nunny

are you threatening me ?

u sure dont' want to ban some1 on 5000+ proxy .

Not a threat. Not like I have any pull around here....

besterman · 02-19-2003, 06:58 PM

FUCK CANADA CUSTOMS!!!!!!! Thanks.

NetBabe · 02-19-2003, 07:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by scorpion3600
FUCK CANADA CUSTOMS!!!!!!! Thanks.

Hehe I agree, they ask too many fucking questions as well.

AaronM · 02-19-2003, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by NetBabe

Hehe I agree, they ask too many fucking questions as well.

No shit eh?

I am not kidding when I tell you that they let the 3 guys with towels on their heads right through while the searched us.

No joke.

iroc409 · 02-19-2003, 07:03 PM

it seems they don't often see big handguns in customs offices... heh.

why can't we take our guns up there on a family trip? sometimes need protection on the roads these days, and i'm sure canada has bad people too.

Pipecrew · 02-19-2003, 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rip
Yeah, don't lie

-Spin It-

Server Script Coding

Dynamic Html Scripts

Image Compression And Optimization

Digital Photogrpahy For Web Designers

Etc
Etc

if I was a border guard and you said any of those things, I'd punch you in the face

Dugmor · 02-19-2003, 07:24 PM

Quote:

Dude, why invite trouble? It should have been like this:

Customs Agent: What do you do for a living?

Aaron M: < something mundane >

Customs Agent: Have a nice stay.

At least you have the balls to tell the truth !

There are a lot of people that work as designers , programmers or in marketing of adult content that tell everyone that they are "in" porn.

But once there is some kind of trouble they try to say something else.

It is always best to tell the truth. I have had so many problems with borders in the last few years that I have to make sure that my company is on the up and up ! Once you try to lie and they catch you . You will never be able to cross the border again.

besterman · 02-19-2003, 07:25 PM

Perhaps they have a porn fetish and are curious to see what we're up too, perhaps it is a sign of respect, then again, they're bloody nosy bastards! You can tell I always have problems

BVF · 02-19-2003, 07:31 PM

I have no problems with Canadian customs...flying or driving. I flew once into Toronto from Mexico City. The dude half ass looked at me and asked me a question...then let me go..

Same thing happened in Windsor from Detroit...they tried to act mean then just let me go.

The secret to getting past customs is to claim something. If they ask me if I have anything, I tell them that I might have too much liquor with me...If you tell them you have something for them to look at, more than likely, they won't look because they're lazy...

Nobody with something to hide would tell a customs agent that they have a few bottles of Brandy in the trunk...which is basically INVITING them to search you....

JFK · 02-19-2003, 07:39 PM

I got picked when I came back from Jamaica, She had found a card for F.U.B.A.R., asked what is this, I said I take pictures at parties and post them on this site. So She said I will have to check this out. Comes back five minutes later "RED" with a guy in tow who cant keep a straight face, and says,"You could have told me what kind of a site it was" I said this is it ?? She said Yes. As I am leaving I said well did you like the site??

he he he ............ She did not find that funny

Brown Bear · 02-19-2003, 07:55 PM

Aaron, you also could have said that you were travelling to Canada for business purposes to meet some people in your industry. All of that is very legal. When people say they're going somewhere for pleasure, but then they look like they might be working, border guards get all huffy about it.

KingK7 · 02-19-2003, 08:01 PM

I had to get naked and spread my ass-cheeks last summer, coming on the train from Copenhagen airport (Denmark) to Malmo (Sweden).

Once in Chicago, flight from Madrid, they pulled me over and REALLY went through my stuff, with dogs etc, almost made me miss my connecting flight. That customs guy was on a real power-trip.

archer · 02-19-2003, 08:12 PM

i once called a canadian customs guy who was on a power trip with a 'brownshirt'

lol... he didn't like the reference at all.. needless to say the rest of the interview didn't go very well at all

Kimmykim · 02-19-2003, 08:16 PM

I always tell them the truth when they ask me why I'm coming into Vancouver.

Shopping.

StuartD · 02-19-2003, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rip
Yeah, don't lie

-Spin It-

I do;

Graphics Design for the www

Server Script Coding

Dynamic Html Scripts

Java Development

Image Compression And Optimization

Digital Photogrpahy For Web Designers

Etc
Etc

Hey you dick licker... where are ya!?!?! Get your ass out on the town already!!!

You got Aaron's #??? Call him, asap... let's hook up

02-19-2003, 05:29 PM	#1
AaronM Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: ┌∩┐ ◣_◢ ┌∩┐ Posts: 46,909	Fucking Canadian Customs.... Customs Agent: What do you do for a living? Me: Porn. Customs Agent: Come with me please. About one hour, 3 interviews, drug sniffing dogs, and a full vehicle search later........ Customs Agent: Are you here on business? Me: Nope.....Pleasure. Customs Agent: Why do you have all this equipment with you? Me: I shoot as a hobby as well. Customs Agent: Were you working in the car on the way up here? Me: Uh...Nooooo. Customs Agent: Then why are there 2 open condom wrappers in the back of the car? Me: Good question. Customs Agent: Enjoy your stay.

02-19-2003, 05:34 PM	#2
boneprone Hall Of Fame Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Portland Oregon USA Posts: 34,415	that border is the worse. (the Washington to Vancover drive through border check) I was very late to the Vancover show and missed the Shaw party becasue I was detained at the border in that office for 3 fucking long hours. They had decided to send me back 2 times and changed their mind back and fourth as they pulled records called supervisors and all that bullshit. They told me next time they wont let me in unless I have a note from an attorney or a court clerk.. A note that basically doesnt exist, something I can not come up with. No love for the BP4L at that border. I may not make the Vancover show this year if they decide to "randomly" tell me to pull in to the office for intergation again. They said they have me flagged now not to let me in unless I have some fucking note. __________________ Industry Hall Of Fame Legend Mike Jones Bow to the Power - Still BP4L http://gfyawards.com/hall-of-fame Learn about it kids. Last edited by boneprone; 02-19-2003 at 05:37 PM..

02-19-2003, 05:55 PM	#13
evildick Guest Posts: n/a	Yeah, just say you're a photographer. Don't lie, but don't give too much information. Border guards can fuck you up bad if you lie. I know of a guy that can no longer enter the U.S. because he got caught lying about a drunk driving conviction. All it takes is for them to be in a bad mood or for you to look at them funny. Last edited by evildick; 02-19-2003 at 06:05 PM..

02-19-2003, 07:03 PM	#20
iroc409 Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: midwest side, yo Posts: 4,728	it seems they don't often see big handguns in customs offices... heh. why can't we take our guns up there on a family trip? sometimes need protection on the roads these days, and i'm sure canada has bad people too. __________________ <a href="http://www.iroc409.com/"><img src="http://www.iroc409.com/adv/120x60.gif" border=0></a> icq: 1 7 6 4 2 0 9 6 0 Gallery templates for ONLY $25! w00t!

02-19-2003, 07:31 PM	#24
BVF Black Vagina Finder Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: The Midwest Posts: 13,975	I have no problems with Canadian customs...flying or driving. I flew once into Toronto from Mexico City. The dude half ass looked at me and asked me a question...then let me go.. Same thing happened in Windsor from Detroit...they tried to act mean then just let me go. The secret to getting past customs is to claim something. If they ask me if I have anything, I tell them that I might have too much liquor with me...If you tell them you have something for them to look at, more than likely, they won't look because they're lazy... Nobody with something to hide would tell a customs agent that they have a few bottles of Brandy in the trunk...which is basically INVITING them to search you.... __________________ Black Pussy Click On Mr Cosby..CCbill, 60/40, 136 FHG's....The Cos Loves Black Ghetto Pussy!!

02-19-2003, 05:36 PM	#3
pine Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Falls, eh Posts: 1,373	Dude, why invite trouble? It should have been like this: Customs Agent: What do you do for a living? Aaron M: < something mundane > Customs Agent: Have a nice stay.

02-19-2003, 05:38 PM	#5
nunny So Fucking Banned Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 202	what a dump fuck. u should have told them that you're holywood cleaner.

02-19-2003, 05:40 PM	#6
directfiesta Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Montreal, Quebec Posts: 29,707	It's the same going in the US. I always answer : computer solutions. I have a business card to that effect. You answer porn, you are dead shit!!

02-19-2003, 05:56 PM	#15
Rip Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: somewheres wet Posts: 1,456	Yeah, don't lie -Spin It- I do; Graphics Design for the www Server Script Coding Dynamic Html Scripts Java Development Image Compression And Optimization Digital Photogrpahy For Web Designers Etc Etc

02-19-2003, 06:58 PM	#17
besterman Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 623	FUCK CANADA CUSTOMS!!!!!!! Thanks.

02-19-2003, 07:25 PM	#23
besterman Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 623	Perhaps they have a porn fetish and are curious to see what we're up too, perhaps it is a sign of respect, then again, they're bloody nosy bastards! You can tell I always have problems

02-19-2003, 07:39 PM	#25
JFK FUBAR the ORIGINATOR Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: FUBARLAND Posts: 67,374	I got picked when I came back from Jamaica, She had found a card for F.U.B.A.R., asked what is this, I said I take pictures at parties and post them on this site. So She said I will have to check this out. Comes back five minutes later "RED" with a guy in tow who cant keep a straight face, and says,"You could have told me what kind of a site it was" I said this is it ?? She said Yes. As I am leaving I said well did you like the site?? he he he ............ She did not find that funny __________________ FUBAR Webmasters - The FUBAR Times - FUBAR Webmasters Mobile - FUBARTV.XXX For promo opps contact jfk at fubarwebmasters dot com

02-19-2003, 07:55 PM	#26
Brown Bear Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 4,982	Aaron, you also could have said that you were travelling to Canada for business purposes to meet some people in your industry. All of that is very legal. When people say they're going somewhere for pleasure, but then they look like they might be working, border guards get all huffy about it. __________________ Surrender all your independent thinking and Click Here for re-programming.

02-19-2003, 08:01 PM	#27
KingK7 Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 6,372	I had to get naked and spread my ass-cheeks last summer, coming on the train from Copenhagen airport (Denmark) to Malmo (Sweden). Once in Chicago, flight from Madrid, they pulled me over and REALLY went through my stuff, with dogs etc, almost made me miss my connecting flight. That customs guy was on a real power-trip.

02-19-2003, 08:12 PM	#28
archer Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 1,721	i once called a canadian customs guy who was on a power trip with a 'brownshirt' lol... he didn't like the reference at all.. needless to say the rest of the interview didn't go very well at all __________________ Looking to promote uncut cock? Check out Uncut Cash. It rocks.

02-19-2003, 08:16 PM	#29
Kimmykim bitchslapping zebras!!!!! Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: In a shack by the beach Posts: 16,015	I always tell them the truth when they ask me why I'm coming into Vancouver. Shopping.