F'n Jehovah's Witnesses at my damn door ! - GoFuckYourself.com

CT-Content · 07-27-2013, 07:49 AM

Was outside doing general house maintenance as the Jehovah's Witnesses are knocking on doors for their fucking Watchtower society.
I live in a predominately white Catholic neighborhood - what the fuck are the blacks doing around here soliciting their bullshit ?
I asked that one black dude why he isn't soliciting in the troubled black neighborhoods where their beliefs, teachings and activities would better suit ? - 8-Track Jones had no answer as he chewed on his sunflower seeds. Next time I'm calling the fucking cops !

TheSquealer · 07-27-2013, 07:53 AM

Do you entertain at birthday parties for kids, by chance? Do you have an agent, or do I book through you directly?

ThunderBalls · 07-27-2013, 07:56 AM

Whats with these facebook posts?

C.Carnato · 07-27-2013, 07:56 AM

They have no choice and are assigned to certain areas (blocks and even streets) by their elders, every Kingdom Hall has a specific area it has to cover periodically. Depending on how well organized a group is, they will continue to return to your door until they get to speak to you. If you accept anything they will be back.

It also has nothing to do with blacks. Not their beliefs, teachings or activities.

SilentKnight · 07-27-2013, 08:04 AM

Why don't Jehovah Witness celebrate Halloween?

They don't like random strangers knocking on their door.

Why are there no Jehovah's witnesses in heaven?

Because God and Saint Peter are behind the gates saying, "Sshh! pretend we are not in!!"

A Jehovah's Witness knocked on my door and asked if I'd like to let Jesus into my home.

"Jesus can come in" I said, "but you can fuck off."

Two Jehovah's Witnesses knock on the door of an elderly lady.
She opens the door and asks who they are.
They tell her that they are Jehovah's Witnesses and she lets them both inside.
She tells them to take a seat on her sofa, and asks if they would like a cup of tea or coffee.
"Two teas would be nice, please," comes the reply.
Then she asks if they would like custard creams with their drinks.
"Oh, yes please, that would be lovely," comes the response.
Five minutes later the old woman comes back into the front room and places the drinks and biscuits on the table, sits down and says, "So what is it that you want to talk to me about?"
The first Jehovah shrugs her shoulders and says, "We don't know, this is the furthest that we have ever got."

TrashyGirl · 07-27-2013, 08:11 AM

Whenever they knock on my door, I tell them they can't talk to me unless they want to talk to a dead person. When they look at me like wth (oops they don't believe in hell either) I tell them I took several units of blood after a bad car accident and wouldn't be alive if not for that. That shuts them up and they walk away.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehovah...d_transfusions

CDSmith · 07-27-2013, 08:15 AM

You got the blacks? The last few crews of witnesses who strolled through my neighborhood were all hot twenty-something white girls.

Jehovah chapters up here be fighting dirty.

Helix · 07-27-2013, 08:49 AM

I just politely tell them I'm not interested and they leave.

SilentKnight · 07-27-2013, 08:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Helix

I just politely tell them I'm not interested and they leave.

I tried that...didn't work. They kept returning.

Now I activate the pop-up lawn sprinklers when they're halfway to my door.

Klen · 07-27-2013, 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDSmith

You got the blacks? The last few crews of witnesses who strolled through my neighborhood were all hot twenty-something white girls.

Jehovah chapters up here be fighting dirty.

Lucky you ,i got only some old hags.Once i was chatting with mormons in city,i wanted to thank them for being biggest consumers of paysite porn (Utah)

CT-Content · 07-27-2013, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TrashyGirl

Whenever they knock on my door, I tell them they can't talk to me unless they want to talk to a dead person. When they look at me like wth (oops they don't believe in hell either) I tell them I took several units of blood after a bad car accident and wouldn't be alive if not for that. That shuts them up and they walk away.

If they catch me outside I'll say; Jesus died on the cross. He lay in rest for 3 days before his soul ascended into heaven. Where was his soul for those 3 days ? - Watch all the confused blacks look at each other like they lost their last bucket of chicken !

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDSmith

You got the blacks? The last few crews of witnesses who strolled through my neighborhood were all hot twenty-something white girls.

Were you neighborly enough to offer them watermelon and Kool-aid ?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Helix

I just politely tell them I'm not interested and they leave.

Next time you should answer the door naked !

azpoindexter · 07-27-2013, 09:15 AM

I have always looked at it this way. The jehovah witnesses, and other religions that aggressively promote their beliefs are fucking awesome. What great guys to believe they found the key to life and a way to get in to heaven, or whatever, and then to run around telling everyone they can regardless of what people think about them. I mean you have to be a fucking dick to believe you found a way to get out of hell or whatever, and NOT tell ANYONE. I think they are crazy as fuck and their beliefs are shit, but i appreciate the effort.

MikeFold · 07-27-2013, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDSmith

You got the blacks? The last few crews of witnesses who strolled through my neighborhood were all hot twenty-something white girls.

Jehovah chapters up here be fighting dirty.

Same scenario here lately......damn

and I have used the sprinkler trick, but not on the last set of hotties

winter_ · 07-27-2013, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CDSmith

You got the blacks? The last few crews of witnesses who strolled through my neighborhood were all hot twenty-something white girls.

Jehovah chapters up here be fighting dirty.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MikeFold

Same scenario here lately......damn

and I have used the sprinkler trick, but not on the last set of hotties

they just can't help themselves too! seriously! i met two pacific island ones one day we had a little chat it was right in my hood... anyway we never hooked up and i was with other girls at that time. point is though i found out they had been getting with men behind their supposed fellow christian-ites backs and going totally wild, just incredible.

the way i see it at least with a true buddhist girl they are true to themselves and to everyone who knows them, their gods whether they be small ornaments, the sun, buddha, didn't have to be so much like a conservative politician.

Captain Kawaii · 07-27-2013, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilentKnight

Why don't Jehovah Witness celebrate Halloween?

They don't like random strangers knocking on their door.

Why are there no Jehovah's witnesses in heaven?

Because God and Saint Peter are behind the gates saying, "Sshh! pretend we are not in!!"

A Jehovah's Witness knocked on my door and asked if I'd like to let Jesus into my home.

"Jesus can come in" I said, "but you can fuck off."

Two Jehovah's Witnesses knock on the door of an elderly lady.
She opens the door and asks who they are.
They tell her that they are Jehovah's Witnesses and she lets them both inside.
She tells them to take a seat on her sofa, and asks if they would like a cup of tea or coffee.
"Two teas would be nice, please," comes the reply.
Then she asks if they would like custard creams with their drinks.
"Oh, yes please, that would be lovely," comes the response.
Five minutes later the old woman comes back into the front room and places the drinks and biscuits on the table, sits down and says, "So what is it that you want to talk to me about?"
The first Jehovah shrugs her shoulders and says, "We don't know, this is the furthest that we have ever got."

SomeCreep · 07-27-2013, 01:27 PM

dem' some crazy mo-fuckaz

Rochard · 07-27-2013, 01:28 PM

Invite them in, ask if they like tea. Then... Ask them if they are willing to take cock up the ass.

seeandsee · 07-27-2013, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CT-Content

If they catch me outside I'll say; Jesus died on the cross. He lay in rest for 3 days before his soul ascended into heaven. Where was his soul for those 3 days ? - Watch all the confused blacks look at each other like they lost their last bucket of chicken !

YOU ARE TOTALLY WRONG, THIS IS CORRECT ANSWER:

Answer

Some scholars interpret Paul's account as saying that the resurrection and ascension to heaven were the same event. Jesus was resurrected immediately to heaven.

In the 'long ending' of Mark's Gospel, Jesus ascended after meeting the disciples in and near Jerusalem, either on the same day as his resurrection, or within just a few days.

According to Luke's Gospel, Jesus met the disciples briefly, and ascended to heaven at Bethany, seemingly with a few days of his resurrection.

Matthew's Gospel and John's Gospel do not actually mention the ascension, so from these sources it is not possible to say how many days there were between the resurrection and the ascension.

Acts 1:3 says that Jesus was taken up after forty days, having spent much of this time with the apostles.

Answer

According to Matthew, Jesus appeared to the disciples on one occasion, on a mountain in Galilee and then appears to have left them. This would seem to have been soon after the Resurrection.

According to Luke, two of the, went "the same day" to Emmaus and met Jesus, but did not at first recognise him. That evening he ate with the disciples. He later took them to Bethany, where he was lifted up to heaven. Some people interpret this as meaning that Jesus ascended to heaven after one day.

According to Acts of the Apostles, a later work by the same author as Luke, Jesus stayed 40 days.

According to John, Jesus visited the disciples twice in their room in Jerusalem, then some short time later at the Sea of Galilee. A delay of forty days can not be ruled out, although the text makes it seem unlikely.

Mark, the first of the gospels to be written, originally did not mention any appearances of the risen Jesus. The "Long Ending" (16:9-20), believed by some to be added some time later to harmonise as far as possible with Matthew and Luke, says that Jesus was received up into heaven after he met the disciples. Some interpret this as being on the evening of his Resurrection.

beerptrol · 07-27-2013, 02:07 PM

Had two women come to the door a few months ago. I told them I don't believe in a god, and I don't believe in your bull shit religion now fuck off. One looked at the other and said WOW, and they left

PornoStar69 · 07-27-2013, 02:42 PM

jehovah = illuminati

brassmonkey · 07-27-2013, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rochard

Invite them in, ask if they like tea. Then... Ask them if they are willing to take cock up the ass.

yeah and have the devil kick your door in and pistol whip your ass

Spunky · 07-27-2013, 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rochard

Invite them in, ask if they like tea. Then... Ask them if they are willing to take cock up the ass.

What if they are female?

CurrentlySober · 07-28-2013, 01:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by C.Carnato

They have no choice and are assigned to certain areas (blocks and even streets) by their elders, every Kingdom Hall has a specific area it has to cover periodically. Depending on how well organized a group is, they will continue to return to your door until they get to speak to you. If you accept anything they will be back.

It also has nothing to do with blacks. Not their beliefs, teachings or activities.

Hes correct...

Seriously though, if you politely request that you be 'REMOVED FROM THIER MAP' they will stay away for a year...

OR... Just say that someone in the household is an 'Apostate'

That way they are no longer 'Allowed' by 'Kingdom Hall' to come to your house, cause they cant meet apostates...

Simples and job done

idolbucks · 07-28-2013, 10:07 AM

My gym partner is a Witness and uses every free moment to push religion on me.

baddog · 07-28-2013, 11:08 AM

Don't think I have ever had a black JW come to my door. Usually white guys that offer to work around the house in exchange for the ability to talk. I keep telling them to send someone that knows CSS and/or PHP

beerptrol · 07-28-2013, 11:18 AM

One of the women was black and the other a ginger. The gf said I should have invited them in for a threesome as we talked about religion

SilentKnight · 07-28-2013, 11:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baddog

Usually white guys that offer to work around the house in exchange for the ability to talk. I keep telling them to send someone that knows CSS and/or PHP

Never heard of that scenario.

Maybe I could have them rig the lighting during the next fetish shoot.

sandman! · 07-28-2013, 11:49 AM

baddog · 07-28-2013, 12:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SilentKnight

Never heard of that scenario.

Maybe I could have them rig the lighting during the next fetish shoot.

Tell them you are too busy to talk; they usually will volunteer to help (at least around here).

Sunny Day · 07-28-2013, 01:48 PM

The Jehovah's Witness haven't been around for awhile. Maybe it's when I said my GF left to become The Devil's Whore. At our old apartment the Mormon boys always came around as she would flirt with them. They always seemed to leave hurriedly when I would ask GF to bring out the letter from the Mormons where she was excommunicated at 15. Seems before a tribunal she told the elders to Go Fuck themselves as they were trying to really fuck her brother.

TurboAngel · 07-28-2013, 01:53 PM

They came to my house one time and I had mt AFF tank on they quickly left! LMAO

loreen · 07-28-2013, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by baddog

Tell them you are too busy to talk; they usually will volunteer to help (at least around here).

And then ask them to make descriptions for porn movies

SilentKnight · 07-28-2013, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by loreen

And then ask them to make descriptions for porn movies

They'd take one look at our studio and make a hasty move towards the door.

rocky1234 · 07-28-2013, 02:13 PM

it's all about money. they want to get u into their church to increase the payroll.

shimmy2 · 07-28-2013, 03:18 PM

me n cameron did a jw flick... watchtowers always in laundry room of old apt gave me idea

candyflip · 07-28-2013, 03:26 PM

Answer the door like this and you won't have any problems with them again.

07-27-2013, 07:49 AM	#1
CT-Content So Fucking Intelligent Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: Philadelphia Posts: 434	F'n Jehovah's Witnesses at my damn door ! Was outside doing general house maintenance as the Jehovah's Witnesses are knocking on doors for their fucking Watchtower society. I live in a predominately white Catholic neighborhood - what the fuck are the blacks doing around here soliciting their bullshit ? I asked that one black dude why he isn't soliciting in the troubled black neighborhoods where their beliefs, teachings and activities would better suit ? - 8-Track Jones had no answer as he chewed on his sunflower seeds. Next time I'm calling the fucking cops !

07-27-2013, 08:15 AM	#7
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	You got the blacks? The last few crews of witnesses who strolled through my neighborhood were all hot twenty-something white girls. Jehovah chapters up here be fighting dirty. __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

07-27-2013, 08:49 AM	#8
Helix Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Michigan Posts: 5,954	I just politely tell them I'm not interested and they leave. __________________ Free jscott !!! Free OneHungLo !!! Free Baddog !!!

07-27-2013, 01:27 PM	#16
SomeCreep :glugglug Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Where the Wild Things Are Posts: 26,118	dem' some crazy mo-fuckaz __________________ Webair Hosting I use and recommend Webair for hosting.

07-27-2013, 01:28 PM	#17
Rochard Jägermeister Test Pilot Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: NORCAL Posts: 73,191	Invite them in, ask if they like tea. Then... Ask them if they are willing to take cock up the ass. __________________ “The choice is no longer between right or left. The choice is between normal and crazy.” - Sarah Huckabee Sanders YNOT MAIL \| THE BEST ADULT MAILING SOLUTION

07-27-2013, 07:53 AM	#2
TheSquealer BANNED Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: In Your Head Posts: 25,102	Do you entertain at birthday parties for kids, by chance? Do you have an agent, or do I book through you directly?

07-27-2013, 07:56 AM	#3
ThunderBalls So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Mesosphere Posts: 2,926	Whats with these facebook posts?

07-27-2013, 07:56 AM	#4
C.Carnato Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2012 Posts: 151	They have no choice and are assigned to certain areas (blocks and even streets) by their elders, every Kingdom Hall has a specific area it has to cover periodically. Depending on how well organized a group is, they will continue to return to your door until they get to speak to you. If you accept anything they will be back. It also has nothing to do with blacks. Not their beliefs, teachings or activities.

07-27-2013, 08:04 AM	#5
SilentKnight Megan Fox's fluffer Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: shooting pool in Elysium Posts: 24,818	Why don't Jehovah Witness celebrate Halloween? They don't like random strangers knocking on their door. Why are there no Jehovah's witnesses in heaven? Because God and Saint Peter are behind the gates saying, "Sshh! pretend we are not in!!" A Jehovah's Witness knocked on my door and asked if I'd like to let Jesus into my home. "Jesus can come in" I said, "but you can fuck off." Two Jehovah's Witnesses knock on the door of an elderly lady. She opens the door and asks who they are. They tell her that they are Jehovah's Witnesses and she lets them both inside. She tells them to take a seat on her sofa, and asks if they would like a cup of tea or coffee. "Two teas would be nice, please," comes the reply. Then she asks if they would like custard creams with their drinks. "Oh, yes please, that would be lovely," comes the response. Five minutes later the old woman comes back into the front room and places the drinks and biscuits on the table, sits down and says, "So what is it that you want to talk to me about?" The first Jehovah shrugs her shoulders and says, "We don't know, this is the furthest that we have ever got."

07-27-2013, 08:11 AM	#6
TrashyGirl Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2010 Posts: 1,401	Whenever they knock on my door, I tell them they can't talk to me unless they want to talk to a dead person. When they look at me like wth (oops they don't believe in hell either) I tell them I took several units of blood after a bad car accident and wouldn't be alive if not for that. That shuts them up and they walk away. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jehovah...d_transfusions

07-27-2013, 09:15 AM	#12
azpoindexter Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2013 Location: mexico city Posts: 163	I have always looked at it this way. The jehovah witnesses, and other religions that aggressively promote their beliefs are fucking awesome. What great guys to believe they found the key to life and a way to get in to heaven, or whatever, and then to run around telling everyone they can regardless of what people think about them. I mean you have to be a fucking dick to believe you found a way to get out of hell or whatever, and NOT tell ANYONE. I think they are crazy as fuck and their beliefs are shit, but i appreciate the effort.

07-27-2013, 02:07 PM	#19
beerptrol Confirmed Asshole Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Half way between sobriety and fubar. Posts: 12,722	Had two women come to the door a few months ago. I told them I don't believe in a god, and I don't believe in your bull shit religion now fuck off. One looked at the other and said WOW, and they left

07-27-2013, 02:42 PM	#20
PornoStar69 Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: xxweekxx mothers bed. Posts: 2,022	jehovah = illuminati __________________ GFY King?

07-28-2013, 10:07 AM	#24
idolbucks Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 914	My gym partner is a Witness and uses every free moment to push religion on me. __________________ Idol Bucks - always more...

07-28-2013, 11:08 AM	#25
baddog So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: the beach, SoCal Posts: 107,089	Don't think I have ever had a black JW come to my door. Usually white guys that offer to work around the house in exchange for the ability to talk. I keep telling them to send someone that knows CSS and/or PHP

07-28-2013, 11:18 AM	#26
beerptrol Confirmed Asshole Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Half way between sobriety and fubar. Posts: 12,722	One of the women was black and the other a ginger. The gf said I should have invited them in for a threesome as we talked about religion

07-28-2013, 11:49 AM	#28
sandman! Icq: 14420613 Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: chicago Posts: 15,432	__________________ Need WebHosting ? Email me for some great deals [email protected]

07-28-2013, 01:48 PM	#30
Sunny Day Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 1,406	Missionaries The Jehovah's Witness haven't been around for awhile. Maybe it's when I said my GF left to become The Devil's Whore. At our old apartment the Mormon boys always came around as she would flirt with them. They always seemed to leave hurriedly when I would ask GF to bring out the letter from the Mormons where she was excommunicated at 15. Seems before a tribunal she told the elders to Go Fuck themselves as they were trying to really fuck her brother.

07-28-2013, 01:53 PM	#31
TurboAngel H.B.I.C. Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: NC Posts: 30,122	They came to my house one time and I had mt AFF tank on they quickly left! LMAO

07-28-2013, 02:13 PM	#34
rocky1234 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 274	it's all about money. they want to get u into their church to increase the payroll.

07-28-2013, 03:18 PM	#35
shimmy2 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Dominican Republic Posts: 3,245	me n cameron did a jw flick... watchtowers always in laundry room of old apt gave me idea __________________ Make $$$ with Toticos.com! \| Email: 1bluemiata@gmail \| Joutube: ShimmyCash \| Faceberg: ShimmyCash

07-28-2013, 03:26 PM	#36
candyflip Carpe Visio Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: New York Posts: 43,057	Answer the door like this and you won't have any problems with them again. __________________ Spend you some brain. Email Me