Anyone here tan regularly?

[Huggles]

Hey yo!!!

So the little rural valley I live in has so little rainfall and while it is raining in communities nearby, this little valley is nice and sunny! Also, I have a patio that perfectly faces west, so in the afternoon I can get an amazing blast of that sweet, sweet cancer ray.

Back when I used to make the most money, I would tan all the time. Tanning does give me an energy boost, so I've been thinking about tanning again, but I'm totally out of the loop on lotions and shit people are using to track their tanning, enhance it, or whatever.

Any tips to be a bronze Canadian tan-god this season?

I'm looking for a nice deep orange like Trump, so when I post my photos, 2MuchCucked gets mad!

[verybadsanta]

[NoWhErE]

Just go to any tanning salon and ask for their recommendation. Jot down the name of whatever they want to sell you and buy it cheaper on Amazon.

[Huggles]

Originally Posted by NoWhErE

Just go to any tanning salon and ask for their recommendation. Jot down the name of whatever they want to sell you and buy it cheaper on Amazon.

I want it now!

You're right though, good idea, last time I went tanning I did the same thing. The $70 lotion at the salon was like $15 on Amazon in a 3-pack! That was awhile ago. That shit actually sucked though, because it was so fucking greasy. You could shower and still be coated in it. Felt like a complete greaseball for days. I need some shit that will get me Jamaican dark with the least amount of tanning required.

I just want the best shit to get bronze with the least tanning and least maintenance. You know, some reaaaalllll brown marinade. None of the salons want to help, because, of course, they want you to need the most maintenance possible.

I need to get dark!

[The Porn Nerd]

Originally Posted by Huggles

I need to get dark!

Dark lives matter hehe

But seriously, stay away from tanning beds. It's cancer in a box. The new spray-on tans aren't as orange as they used to be and can tide you over until summer. But even going out in the sun wear a sun tan lotion of 30 or higher.

Okay mothering over. But I want a tan myself otherwise I look like Casper the (not so) friendly ghost.

[JesseQuinn]

back in Canada I used to use a lotion called Bronze something. brown bottle, gold letters. I bought it at Shoppers Drug Mart (if it's still around). I remember that much

worked really well and smelled awesome but didn't like the uneven layer it often created. wasn't about to stand upright in crucifixion-mode for half an hour til it dried. and heaven forbid you smiled too much during drying and would end up with weird lines


I never needed self-tanner after I moved out of Canada until I had a surgery and went on a life-long med that drastically increases the risk of melanoma. first time in my life I gotta wear sunscreen, and the palest I have EVER been in my life

it's like I'm wearing a raincoat shielding me from the sun. blech

have been looking into this too, locally as import fees are insane. but no one carries it, unshockingly

my walls are beige and I'm starting to blend in. your politics suck but feel your pain


you're in Canada so amazon shipping fees should be negligible. or call around to local pharmacies, someone in your vicinty will carry it

[Huggles]

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

The new spray-on tans

I really want to rock a Trump orange this year. In silent support of Trump, even if I think both sides are totally fake anyways.

[Huggles]

100% going for this shade of orange. I hope it doesn't cost more than $200 to get a nice shade of Trump freedom orange in Canada.

[Huggles]

Where can I read on spray tans?

I actually like sun bathing. Like laying in the sun for an hour a day, 30 mins each side, with some lotion and headphones on.

I can get SO supercharged mentally and physically like this. Looking forward to this like crazy.

Gonna try Jesse's lotion recommendations. The shitty part about tanning is if you use the wrong lotion you'll feel like a fucking greaseball even after a shower, and some lotions attract bugs like crazy. I was stung multiple times and attacked by gross beetles last time I wore a lotion and tanned in my backward. Fucking shit man, fuck that! Fuck bugs yo, nothing more gross than nature with its little bug drones swarming you like with that buzzzzzzz. Buzzzz. Buzzzz. I watched so many Ukraine / Russian war videos with their drones killing people on full volume with the drone buzz, and when I tan, I hear that buzz in my ear and I flashback to all of the brutal drone execution videos I've seen, bodies blown apart, I don't see Ukrainians or Russians, I just see people, and the murder is so horrific, so sick man.

Wow tanning is gonna be fun this year!

I'm gonna claim Blackness.

[blackmonsters]

Skin cancer.

[CurrentlySober]

i cunt a4d2 tan regularly...

[The Porn Nerd]

Originally Posted by Huggles

I'm gonna claim Blackness.

Yo mamma!

[CaptainHowdy]

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

Yo mamma!

. . .

[2MuchMark]

Originally Posted by Huggles

100% going for this shade of orange. I hope it doesn't cost more than $200 to get a nice shade of Trump freedom orange in Canada.

This color and look would suit you. Buy yourself some extra, from me.

[fuzebox]

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

wear a sun tan lotion of 30 or higher.

30 in the winter, 50 in the summer. Fuck aging.

[blackmonsters]

Originally Posted by The Porn Nerd

Yo mamma!

Originally Posted by CaptainHowdy

. . .

[pornmasta]

I wouldn't admit publicly that i do that. #fear

[pornmasta]

Originally Posted by verybadsanta

With shapes like that, it's not ugly

[adultbizwork]

Sun radiation is very bad for your skin. Try to avoid it between 10AM and 5PM during the summer. And specially if you are Caucasic or White, and even worse if you are Redhead like Chucky.

[Look Chang]

Beware of tanning too much, it could change your life.

[Spunky]

Only the gay do that

[Huggles]

Originally Posted by Spunky

Only the gay do that

I think tanning has a strong effect on the mood, because if I have a tan, I definitely feel energized for a few days right after.

Going for the Hollywood-era Hulk Hogan level of bronze.

[CaptainHowdy]

Indeed I love the warmth that exudes out of a freshly tanned girl's skin . . .

[2MuchMark]

Why not just use makup? It looks so natural that no one would even notice!

[Huggles]

Originally Posted by 2MuchMark

Why not just use makup?

The sun is free and definitely gives an energy boost. Tanning is like a supercharger for inspiration and motivation, especially after the snowy and cloudy 3-4 months of winter here.

Thinking of tanning this year to help motivate me, working on book #4 right now, a war novel that could be set in Gaza or Ukraine, the setting deliberately vague so the young man can possibly be on any of the 4 sides. I'm debating whether or not to write the entire thing in zoomer speak, it's been fun so far:


Commander's straight throwing shade, all tight 'cause we're stuck in this ratchet sideshow. With no RPGs in the mix, we're just chilling here, especially with those drones on the hunt, ready to clap us clean. Word is, some bros are en route, hopefully packing some munchies or legit food, 'cause, for real, it’s been a minute since the young man munched, and this gun-holding gig’s draining his vibe.

Dudes around him are either catching Zs or keeping watch, but his mind’s racing, yo. He's mad split, feeling the pull to ride or die with the village but also mad craving to ghost this chaos, whip back to grams' spot, scoop her and the uncle, and hit the tarmac to those safe and chill Canadian streets, far from these lead-spitting death machines.

But he's like, deep in the struggle, ya know? On one side, he's got this duty vibe to stand with his roots, defend the turf and the country he was spawned in. But then, his soul’s screaming to bail, to not be the hero, just snatch that exit pass back to a world where his biggest stress is what to Netflix, not dodging bullets that wanna kiss his dome goodbye in a country that's no longer his, fr fr.

[czarina]

Sally Hansen has a great leg-tanner. I used to use it a few years back, my legs looked gorgeous