:disgust A. You play at the top and finger the bottom... :Buck:

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . parts of a TIE fighter you blew up hang as a trophy in your living room. :)

:Hollering Q. What's the similarity between a woman and a bank? :321GFY

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . your blind date was arranged through an invitation written on a cantina napkin. :glugglug

:waaaaahh A. After withdrawal :repuke

What is 40 feet long and smells like urine?
Line dancing at the nursing home

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . people mistake your house for a jawa used droids and speeder parts dealership. :(

:Buck: Q. How do you make out if a guy's gay? :ugone2far

Did you hear about the 80-pound guy with the 40-pound testicles?
People say he was half-nuts!

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . the cake at your wedding was sliced with a light saber. :)

:moon Q: What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? :glugglug

A man and his wife went to the doctor's office and the doctor asked the man for a blood, urine, and feces sample.
The man was slightly deaf and said, ''What?''

Again, the doctor said, ''I need a blood, urine and feces sample."

The man still looked puzzled, so his wife leaned over and yelled into his ear:

''Sheldon, the doctor needs a pair of your underwear!''

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you own a pink flamingo with blaster holes in it. :Oh crap

:321GFY A: "*Mgplth*(choke)*gkltmpfff*!!!" :spawn

Husband: Shall we try a new positon tonight?
Wife: Sure. You stand by the ironing board and I'll sit on the couch and drink beer and fart!

A teacher decides that she is going to teach her second grade class a new word today. She tells them that the word is "definitely" and its meaning is "absolute, positive, without a doubt."
She asks the class if anyone can think of a sentence with the word in it. She calls on little Susan who is in the back raising her hand, quite sure of herself.

Susan stands up and says, "The sky is definitely blue."

The teacher replies to her, "Well, that's a good sentence but sometimes the sky is gray, and sometimes its cloudy, and sometimes its red and pink so the sky is not definitely blue. Anyone else?"

Tom's hand flies up and she calls on him.

Tom answers, "The water is definitely clear."

"Well, Tom that's a good sentence but sometimes the water is muddy, and sometimes it's green, and sometimes it's full of seaweed so it's not definitely clear. Anyone else?"

Finally, in the far corner, little Robert slowly raises his hand.

"Yes, Robert?" asks the teacher.

"Can I ask a question, teacher?" Robert replies.

"Yes."

"Do farts have lumps?"

"No. Why do you ask."

"Well, then I've definitely pooped in my pants."

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you inherited a styrofoam cooler and a tackle box with your light saber. :Buck:

:thefinger Q: Why do bald men have holes in their pants pockets? :eatmouse

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you didn't read the whole Jedi manual because there were no pictures. :sleep

:mad: Q: Why do blondes get confused in the bathroom? :karaoke

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you've used a storm trooper helmet as a spitoon. :evil-laug

:evil-laug A: They have to pull their own pants down. :NopeNope

Did you hear about the giant with diarrhea?
You didn't?! It's all over town!

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you've moved from planet to planet to avoid Imperial storm troopers. :ugone2far

A man woke up every morning and passed gas. After about eight or nine years of marriage, his wife finally said, if you fart any more, you'll fart your guts out. Being a butcher, the wife decided to put pig scraps in his pants so he would wake up, and not do it anymore. She put the scraps in his pants that night.
He woke up in the morning and went across the hall to the bathroom. Two long hours later, he came out and stated, honey, you were right about me farting my guts out BUT WITH THE GRACE OF THE DEAR LORD AND THESE TWO FINGERS. I GOT THEM BACK IN THERE.

just checking in:thumbsup

:zzwhip A: An attachment you screw on the bed :eyecrazy

What do a bungee jump and a Hooker have in common?
They're both cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're dead.

:fart Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal? :disgust

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . your beer belly puts Jabba the Hutt to shame. :hi

Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her.
After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing to marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.

The manager said, ''I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!'':helpme :321GFY :ak47: :thumbsup

Did you hear the one about the cannibal who passed his brother in the jungle the other day?

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . the smell of ham or bacon reminds you of Jabba's Gamorean guards. :eatmouse

looks like I'm REALLY falling behind here

:thumbsup A: The Panama Canal is a busy ditch.... :Oh crap

A man dies and goes to Hell. The devil offers to personally escort the man around so he can choose the section of hell he would like to be in. The first section has everybody being burned constantly and getting a glass of water every 7 hours. The second section has everybody working hard and getting a glass of water every three hours. The last section has everybody kneedeep in crap.
"Well, this doesn't look too bad -- and it beats being burned or working. I'll take the crap."

"Okay," says the devil. "Everybody back on their heads."

If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?

:sleep A: 10-year old crack habit. :1orglaugh

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . your best practical joke was sticking a banana in Boba Fett's tail pipe. :cool-as-a