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Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed. |
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#1 |
We need more free porn
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Montreal
Posts: 16,356
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OMG!!! The reviews about Deuce Bigalow : European Gigolo are hilarious!
Looks like they are more hilarious than the movie..
11% Reviews counted: 47 Fresh: 5 Rotten: 42 Average Rating: 3.1/10 http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/deuc...ropean_gigolo/ 0/4 "It would be best appreciated by (a) children of blind, castrated, hearing-impaired Hollywood executives suffering from Tourette's syndrome and arrested development, (b) comic actor-writers who look like Richard Simmons." -- Jan Stuart, NEWSDAY 2/4 "All he has left of her is a prosthetic leg, which he totes around devotedly. Yes, that's the kind of inane humor we're dealing with. But, amazingly, amidst the smutty silliness, there are some laughs." -- Claudia Puig, USA TODAY 1/4 "Schneider, one of the luckier of all Saturday Night Live alums who now make millions in the movies, may well be a fine fellow and excellent company on the set, but on screen he's blank affability incarnate." -- Michael Phillips, CHICAGO TRIBUNE "With this latest exercise in cynicism, however, it's not Deuce's satisfied clientele, but the audience, that gets the shaft." -- Michael O'Sullivan, WASHINGTON POST 0/4 "Aggressively bad, as if it wants to cause suffering to the audience." -- Roger Ebert, CHICAGO SUN-TIMES 1/5 "There's nothing wrong with stupid, gross-out humor if it's funny. But if it's not funny, all you're left with is stupid and gross." -- Randy Cordova, ARIZONA REPUBLIC 1/5 "Movies this bad should never be made -- and if they are, they should never be released. Except perhaps as some sort of Clockwork Orange-style prison experiment." -- Scott Weinberg, EFILMCRITIC.COM 1/4 "Why are you reading this review? Seriously, do you think this is the movie where Rob Schneider shows the world he's the next Tom Hanks or Jack Nicholson?" -- Willie Waffle, WAFFLEMOVIES.COM 1.5/5 "You?ll live a happier, fuller life without watching a cancer patient shoot wine through the hole in her neck." -- Joshua Tyler, CINEMABLEND.COM 1/4 "Any goodwill Rob Schneider was able to wring out of his Deuce Bigalow character the first time around has been stomped into the dirt by the constant, overwhelming, disgusting, over-the-top teenage bathroom humor in the sequel." -- Sue Pierman, MILWAUKEE JOURNAL SENTINEL 1/5 "Watching the movie one feels in need of a bath...With Deuce Bigalow European Gigolo, Hollywood has hit rock bottom." -- Daniel M. Kimmel, WORCESTER TELEGRAM & GAZETTE 1/4 "Plays like a second-rate Mad Magazine racing through a version of The Aristocrats as if its crap punchline was actually the prize." -- Aaron Hillis, PREMIERE MAGAZINE D- "There's a mood and a market for really low and dumb humor, but Deuce Bigelow: European Gigolo doesn't even seem to be aiming that high." -- Laura Clifford, REELING REVIEWS 0.5/4 "I did get through it without being overwhelmed by the urge strangle myself, so the movie has that going for it." -- Rob Blackwelder, SPLICEDWIRE 5/10 "As crazy as the sequel tries to be, it is about as funny as watching people eating worms on reality TV." -- Ron Wilkinson, MONSTERS AND CRITICS 2.5/4 "Bodily fluids seize enough screentime to earn a supporting-actor credit." -- Phil Villarreal, ARIZONA DAILY STAR D- "A movie that exceeds your lowest expectations--it's not only coarse and raunchy but utterly unfunny." -- Frank Swietek, ONE GUY'S OPINION 2/4 "There are some big laughs to be had, but just as many fumbles. Deuce would have been better off staying stateside and talking to his late wife's artificial leg." -- Dustin Putman, THEMOVIEBOY.COM D- "Schneider has proven repeatedly that nothing is going to kill his career, but if the case ever goes to trial, European Gigolo should put him away for life." -- Brian Orndorf, EFILMCRITIC.COM 0/4 "Apparently, in shooting on location in Amsterdam, [the filmmakers] spent the budget on legal hashish rather than on focus pullers or decent film stock." -- Sean Means, SALT LAKE TRIBUNE 2/4 "I'm no fan of Schneider, but, like scrapple or the toilet paper at cheap hotels, Schneider fans know what they're getting." -- Chris Hewitt (St. Paul), ST. PAUL PIONEER PRESS 1.5/4 "European Gigolo is more slapdash than its predecessor, and its jokes, albeit blue, are more borrowed than new." -- Ed Gonzalez, SLANT MAGAZINE .5/5 "The worst movie of the year; it gets an unprecedented half point on our rating scale - even a penis enlargement pump couldn't suck a whole point out of this movie." -- Cherryl Dawson and Leigh Ann Palone, THEMOVIECHICKS.COM 0/5 "Note to Adam Sandler, who co-produced this film: Enough already. For the sake of future generations of moviegoers, we beg you to stop getting movies made for your friend." -- Jeffrey Bruner, DES MOINES REGISTER |
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#2 |
i have man boobies
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: van down by the river
Posts: 13,082
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not as funny as this picture
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333-765-551 |
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#3 |
Omaha Hi/Lo
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 17,380
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reviews are for pussies
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Trump haters gonna hate. that's all they can do |
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#4 |
It's coming look busy
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn".
Posts: 35,299
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even a penis enlargement pump couldn't suck a whole point out of this movie."
buhahahaha
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#5 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 2,160
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The first one was pretty funny. This one looks pretty stupid.
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#6 |
jellyfish
![]() ![]() Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 71,528
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it will probably be good for some cheap laughs though
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#7 |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 67,795
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Give that one a miss then...
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