Top 10 Rules for Running a Successful Affilate Program - GoFuckYourself.com

Black Dog · 08-23-2006, 04:17 PM

10. Treat your affiliates like they're lucky to be sending you traffic

9. All surfers are suckers: it is your job to remind them

8. Start a war on every board and flame everyone that replies

7. Hire/fire your sales staff on a weekly basis

6. Go to every show, get wasted at every party and disrepect everyone you meet

5. Act like Internet porn is a get-rich-quick scheme, not a "real" business

4. Promise your surfers whatever it takes to get them to join

3. Don't waste time delivering what your promised

2. Keep your cross-sales in the fine print where they belong

1. Always remember: YOU ARE THE MOTHERFUCKING PIMP. THE WORLD IS YOUR BITCH.

B

P.S. If you are tired of programs that act like the above is actually true, try sending your traffic to...

brand0n · 08-23-2006, 04:17 PM

why did you copy lightspeeds post?....

Black Dog · 08-23-2006, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by brand0n

why did you copy lightspeeds post?....

ROFL... Did I copy his thread? I don't think so. I wrote the above a long time ago but Steve's post inspired me to finally start the thread. If you read it you would see that only #6 is the same, and that is a coincidence. But thanks anyway!

B

scotty2hotty1111 · 08-23-2006, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Black Dog

7. Hire/fire your sales staff on a weekly basis

damn

elron · 08-23-2006, 04:27 PM

most of it true , except #1 . last one who asked me too many questions about my site got his fhg delleted from my system.

Dagwolf · 08-23-2006, 04:28 PM

Actually I hear those methods work.

Black Dog · 08-23-2006, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dagwolf

Actually I hear those methods work.

I think they did in 1999 but I'm not sure about today. I wouldn't know, I started my program in 2000.

B

Mr. Romance · 08-23-2006, 04:37 PM

Whats up Barry!

Mr. Romance

jbrasco951 · 08-23-2006, 04:38 PM

straight talkin from the hip Barry

lesbodojo · 08-23-2006, 04:38 PM

That's too funny, Barry. Thank you for the afternoon giggle.

twinkley · 08-23-2006, 04:38 PM

ahahahahha #3 is my favorite to run into ... especially after #6 ...

twinkley

mailman · 08-23-2006, 04:39 PM

Damn it we are doing everything all wrong

Phoenix · 08-23-2006, 04:39 PM

i will take all those points down as good advice

JFK · 08-23-2006, 04:40 PM

#8 is very appropriate, specially here

corvette · 08-23-2006, 04:40 PM

those are great barry

Mickey_ · 08-23-2006, 04:41 PM

funny and sad at the same time.

RRRED · 08-23-2006, 04:46 PM

Classic!

Xenophage · 08-23-2006, 04:47 PM

your sexy

stevesonic · 08-23-2006, 05:04 PM

ROFLMAO! Nice!

Rankings · 08-23-2006, 05:20 PM

well put

NTSS · 08-23-2006, 05:23 PM

WebCamCash is the shiznit!

tranza · 08-23-2006, 05:24 PM

How many Top 10 threads are going to be opened tonight?

Black Dog · 08-23-2006, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tranza

How many Top 10 threads are going to be opened tonight?

Must be a trend.

B

Z · 08-23-2006, 05:25 PM

Good work Barry! Webcamcash is top-notch, you and Derek work hard to keep it that way.

If you want to experience another program with none of the above hassles and nonsense, click my sig!

Kenny B! · 08-23-2006, 07:51 PM

haha, nice! Will I bee seeing you in Montreal this weekend?

GUNNER · 08-23-2006, 08:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Z

Good work Barry! Webcamcash is top-notch, you and Derek work hard to keep it that way.

HEY!!
what about me and Hazel??? come on now, where is the LOVE?!?!

tony286 · 08-23-2006, 08:29 PM

that is funny and sad at the same time.

webgurl · 08-23-2006, 08:34 PM

B , can u send me some free money ? ;)

Pete-KT · 08-23-2006, 08:51 PM

Thanks for the rules to Follwo ;)

Quick Buck · 08-23-2006, 09:02 PM

4. Promise your surfers whatever it takes to get them to join

thats a bad thing? i mean seriously, better to underpromise and underconvert?

xNetworx · 08-23-2006, 09:04 PM

Send me your traffic ---------------- see sig

amateurcanada · 08-23-2006, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Black Dog

I think they did in 1999 but I'm not sure about today. I wouldn't know, I started my program in 2000.

B

I've been around since '99 and i'm a Toronto dog too - you promote me lol

SteveLightspeed · 08-23-2006, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quick Buck

4. Promise your surfers whatever it takes to get them to join

thats a bad thing? i mean seriously, better to underpromise and underconvert?

You aren't really serious here, are you Hooper? Would you flat out lie on your tour if it makes the site convert better?

Jace · 08-23-2006, 09:14 PM

i love vicodin

E$_manager · 08-23-2006, 09:54 PM

Just check the sig.

minusonebit · 08-23-2006, 10:02 PM

#1 should have been shaving is what makes the world go round.

J$tyle$ · 08-23-2006, 10:38 PM

nAtuRaLbEautY · 08-24-2006, 12:25 AM

haha!

thanks for the advice!
don't have an affiliate program but it can be pretty useful in the future

scottybuzz · 08-24-2006, 02:44 AM

send traffic and use my affiliate code

Thumbking · 08-24-2006, 02:54 AM

lol, at least you plug the site in a funny way!

KissKristin · 08-24-2006, 03:01 AM

okay, thanks, taking notes right now....

Black Dog · 08-25-2006, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quick Buck

4. Promise your surfers whatever it takes to get them to join

thats a bad thing? i mean seriously, better to underpromise and underconvert?

It is just a joke. I guess #4 is only funny when you read it with #3:

4. Promise your surfers whatever it takes to get them to join
3. Don't waste time delivering what your promised

B

cmj1981 · 08-25-2006, 02:39 PM

You mean I'm really not a motherfucking pimp, and the world is not my slutty whore? ...Damn

Black Dog · 08-25-2006, 02:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cmj1981

You mean I'm really not a motherfucking pimp, and the world is not my slutty whore? ...Damn

No those rules applied to everyone but you. You really ARE the pimp!

B

Black Dog · 08-25-2006, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kenny B!

haha, nice! Will I bee seeing you in Montreal this weekend?

No I can't make it, I wish I could.

Please hit me up on ICQ... we have lots to discuss!

B

08-23-2006, 04:17 PM	#2
brand0n been very busy Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: the queen city Posts: 26,983	why did you copy lightspeeds post?.... __________________ want to buy this spot for cheap? it is of course for sale. long term deals are always the best bet. brand0n/ at/ a o l dot commies.

08-23-2006, 04:38 PM	#9
jbrasco951 Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 597	straight talkin from the hip Barry __________________ Johnny Brasco The Best Radio Producer ever! ICQ# 208929056 Yahoo: jbrasco951

08-23-2006, 04:38 PM	#10
lesbodojo Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: San Francisco Posts: 2,839	That's too funny, Barry. Thank you for the afternoon giggle. __________________ Adult DVDs + Amateur Video Mobile Porn (iPad, Android, iPhone, + Palm Pre) Promote SkinVideo! Payoneer Payouts Available! Let's talk! icq 328.047.782 aim/yim/skype: lesbodojo or lesbodojo at skinvideo dot com

08-23-2006, 04:38 PM	#11
twinkley Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Pueblo, CO Posts: 807	ahahahahha #3 is my favorite to run into ... especially after #6 ... twinkley __________________ ICQ - 720-99-798 Email - twinkley @ kiwisourcing dot com

08-23-2006, 04:39 PM	#13
Phoenix BACON BACON BACON Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Poems everybody, the laddie fancies himself a poet Posts: 35,462	i will take all those points down as good advice __________________ Skype Phoenixskype1 Telegram PhoenixBrad https://quantads.io

08-23-2006, 04:17 PM	#1
Black Dog Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Toronto, Earth Posts: 1,108	Top 10 Rules for Running a Successful Affilate Program 10. Treat your affiliates like they're lucky to be sending you traffic 9. All surfers are suckers: it is your job to remind them 8. Start a war on every board and flame everyone that replies 7. Hire/fire your sales staff on a weekly basis 6. Go to every show, get wasted at every party and disrepect everyone you meet 5. Act like Internet porn is a get-rich-quick scheme, not a "real" business 4. Promise your surfers whatever it takes to get them to join 3. Don't waste time delivering what your promised 2. Keep your cross-sales in the fine print where they belong 1. Always remember: YOU ARE THE MOTHERFUCKING PIMP. THE WORLD IS YOUR BITCH. B P.S. If you are tired of programs that act like the above is actually true, try sending your traffic to... __________________ Looking for a great program that converts ANY traffic? Me too! :-P

08-23-2006, 04:27 PM	#5
elron Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 1,553	most of it true , except #1 . last one who asked me too many questions about my site got his fhg delleted from my system.

08-23-2006, 04:28 PM	#6
Dagwolf President of Canada Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: Leaving Hell, Entering Limbo Posts: 23,141	Actually I hear those methods work. __________________ Sleep well, and dream of large women.

08-23-2006, 04:37 PM	#8
Mr. Romance The Face of Romance and the Symbol of Freedom Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: The America's Posts: 7,821	Whats up Barry! Mr. Romance __________________ Free Leads Program now paying up to $6 Gerard-Director of Global Sales Sign up Here: CamStarCash Check out: FreeCamStars ICQ: 330 662 299 gerard at freecamstars . com

08-23-2006, 04:39 PM	#12
mailman Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Ontario, Canada Posts: 6,311	Damn it we are doing everything all wrong

08-23-2006, 04:40 PM	#14
JFK FUBAR the ORIGINATOR Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: FUBARLAND Posts: 67,374	#8 is very appropriate, specially here __________________ FUBAR Webmasters - The FUBAR Times - FUBAR Webmasters Mobile - FUBARTV.XXX For promo opps contact jfk at fubarwebmasters dot com

08-23-2006, 04:40 PM	#15
corvette Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: scottsdale Posts: 7,880	those are great barry __________________ If you need a good company for check writing services, then check out checkissuing, and for webhosting, check out Phoenix NAP

08-23-2006, 04:41 PM	#16
Mickey_ Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Worldwide Posts: 4,238	funny and sad at the same time. __________________ LifeSelector Affiliates - Make money today promoting the online porn of tomorrow. mb [at] lifeselector.com

08-23-2006, 04:46 PM	#17
RRRED Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: WA Posts: 6,754	Classic!

08-23-2006, 04:47 PM	#18
Xenophage Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 12,122	your sexy

08-23-2006, 05:04 PM	#19
stevesonic Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 168	ROFLMAO! Nice! __________________ Steve Sonic LoadedCash.com

08-23-2006, 05:20 PM	#20
Rankings Adult SEO Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: A cat with three legs cannot bury shit in a frozen pond. In addition to that, can you cry underwater? Posts: 10,633	well put __________________ Your leader for Adult SEO Services 19+ Years Serving the Adult/SEO Industry ICQ: 610-814 Skype: xratedseo

08-23-2006, 05:23 PM	#21
NTSS Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Da Hood Posts: 5,688	WebCamCash is the shiznit! __________________ ICQ: 150-803-430 Email: marketing7(at)cox(dot)net

08-23-2006, 05:24 PM	#22
tranza ICQ: 197-556-237 Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: BRASIL !!! Posts: 57,559	How many Top 10 threads are going to be opened tonight? __________________ I'm just a newbie.

08-23-2006, 05:25 PM	#24
Z Vidi Vici Veni Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 6,308	Good work Barry! Webcamcash is top-notch, you and Derek work hard to keep it that way. If you want to experience another program with none of the above hassles and nonsense, click my sig!

08-23-2006, 07:51 PM	#25
Kenny B! Confirmed Abuser Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Montreal Posts: 5,717	haha, nice! Will I bee seeing you in Montreal this weekend? __________________ Kenny -at- YourPaysitePartner.com Skype: kennyb514 Do business with us: Your Paysite Partner Kenny's Pennies Sticky Dollars Radical Cash Indie Bucks Stand Ahead Read My Ambush Interview Here

08-23-2006, 08:29 PM	#27
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	that is funny and sad at the same time.

08-23-2006, 08:34 PM	#28
webgurl Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Clouds with Carebears Posts: 7,954	B , can u send me some free money ? ;)

08-23-2006, 08:51 PM	#29
Pete-KT Workin With The Devil Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: West Bloomfield, MI Posts: 51,532	Thanks for the rules to Follwo ;)

08-23-2006, 09:02 PM	#30
Quick Buck Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Free-Trials.......... Weekly-Payouts..... 100+Sites Posts: 1,026	4. Promise your surfers whatever it takes to get them to join thats a bad thing? i mean seriously, better to underpromise and underconvert? __________________ $50 FREE TRIALS! Every Day til 2008!!! Only at QuickBuck

08-23-2006, 09:04 PM	#31
xNetworx So Fucking What Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Whore Island Posts: 14,445	Send me your traffic ---------------- see sig

08-23-2006, 09:14 PM	#34
Jace FBOP Class Of 2013 Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: bumfuck, ky Posts: 35,562	i love vicodin

08-23-2006, 09:54 PM	#35
E$_manager Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: pink adult dreams Posts: 13,557	Just check the sig. __________________ Enjoy more sales with EnjoyBucks! Homemade: Asian : Ebony : GFs : Voyeur : Nudist : Public : 3D

08-23-2006, 10:02 PM	#36
minusonebit So Fucking Banned Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: [email protected] Posts: 7,391	#1 should have been shaving is what makes the world go round.

08-23-2006, 10:38 PM	#37
J$tyle$ Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Sunny San Diego Posts: 11,500

08-24-2006, 12:25 AM	#38
nAtuRaLbEautY Confirmed User Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 6,107	haha! thanks for the advice! don't have an affiliate program but it can be pretty useful in the future __________________ Prime Outsourcing│offshore solutions│manual labor│staff leasing│full time employees starting at $695.00/month=managed and dedicated \| icq: 309570461 \| live chat

08-24-2006, 02:44 AM	#39
scottybuzz Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2006 Location: NY Posts: 14,800	send traffic and use my affiliate code __________________ $$$$$ MAKE HUGE MONEY IN CAMS - CLICK HERE $$$$$

08-24-2006, 02:54 AM	#40
Thumbking Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Canadabis Posts: 1,067	lol, at least you plug the site in a funny way!

08-24-2006, 03:01 AM	#41
KissKristin Registered User Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 10	okay, thanks, taking notes right now.... __________________ kisskristin.com kissingirlsblog.com

08-25-2006, 02:39 PM	#43
cmj1981 Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 127	You mean I'm really not a motherfucking pimp, and the world is not my slutty whore? ...Damn __________________ House of Sodom Site Reviews Privacy Toys Privacy Toys VOD The Hot Joints-News & Opinion