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Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed. |
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#1 |
Meow Meow!!!
Industry Role:
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: San Diego, California
Posts: 10,226
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I need a man in my household
Neither my roommate and i can open the apple juice bottle
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#2 |
Monster Rain
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Mongo
Posts: 4,978
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I'm available. Just saying...
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“My Free Cams Affiliate Program by CrakRevenue” |
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#3 |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Canuckstikan
Posts: 22,765
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Let me correct you...
You Need a FrenchMan in your household Good with is hands and as a french speaking tongue... Oui fucking Oui!!!
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#4 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: "Is this where you want to be when Jesus comes back? Pickin' on lil' Joe Dirt?"
Posts: 747
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I wish Achmed were here, he would know what to do...
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#5 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2005
Location: T.O.
Posts: 2,849
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I predict 2 pages of volunteers.. lol
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I died. |
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#7 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: FLA
Posts: 2,538
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wayyyyyyy more then that LOL
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GooSearch Real Text Ads Without The Drama Coming Back Bigger and Better Then Ever |
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#8 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: I live in cage
Posts: 4,193
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Ya, but the can open the shit out of some apple juice bottles.
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#9 |
Monster Rain
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Mongo
Posts: 4,978
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I do snore really loud, too, so that might be a deal breaker...
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“My Free Cams Affiliate Program by CrakRevenue” |
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#10 |
Meow Meow!!!
Industry Role:
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: San Diego, California
Posts: 10,226
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I can deal with snoring. Im a stoned cold sleeper. Fellas post pics my roommie and i are taking applications. hehe
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#11 |
wtf
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Bikini State, FL USA
Posts: 10,914
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apple juice makes you fart anyways
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#12 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: The Valley
Posts: 7,412
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-D. ICQ: 202-96-31 |
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#13 |
So Fucking Banned
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 898
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![]() Use your nose. That should be able to hook around the cap and a thousand others and pry that bitch off. Wither that or use a hip bone as a can opener
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#14 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: "Is this where you want to be when Jesus comes back? Pickin' on lil' Joe Dirt?"
Posts: 747
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Consider this my official application!
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#15 |
Monster Rain
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Mongo
Posts: 4,978
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I have a pug that also snores when he is sleeping, so the two of us together sound like heavy machinery operating at night...
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“My Free Cams Affiliate Program by CrakRevenue” |
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#16 |
Show Yer Tits!
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Somewhere Out there...
Posts: 25,792
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My wife said I can come over. I'm an apple juice opener expert.
Trust me.
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#17 |
Jägermeister Test Pilot
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: NORCAL
Posts: 73,988
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I'm free for the next sixty years of my life Punker. I'll gladly move in with you and be your servant boy.
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“The choice is no longer between right or left. The choice is between normal and crazy.” - Sarah Huckabee Sanders YNOT MAIL | THE BEST ADULT MAILING SOLUTION |
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#18 |
Meow Media Inc.
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: In the valley of the sun, cactus, tacos, tequila, and nod
Posts: 7,785
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Ya know.
I've said the same thing many times.. then I stop to think about all the other hassles that come with having a man in the house.... and I think I'd opt to drink something other than apple juice. Maybe I've just never found the right man. PK
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#19 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 4,420
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I will fill the position HOWEVER I must tell you there can be NO SEX, I just want to talk and cuddle.
oh and I give great massages too. ;) -Loki-
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MAKE MONEY WITH 3D TOONS! Need hosting? LokiCa$h Uses Amerinoc and love them! Skype: LokiPorn Or Email 3dloki|at|gmail.com |
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#20 |
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: the beach, SoCal
Posts: 107,089
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fireman is off the market . . . too late
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#21 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 1,447
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do you like the falafel ms. barbie?
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Achmed Oil - Achmed Holdings - Achmed Guns n Ammo Ceo of all companies [email protected] [email protected] آخرون من نفس المجموعة، وهم عبدالرؤوف الشايب وسيد شرف الستري لاعتداء قوات الأمن أثناء تواجدهم في المطار، ويعتبر البعض ذلك تصفية للحسابات قامت به http://tweeter.com/achmedholdings |
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#22 |
I am Amazing Content!
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 39,828
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i would love to open your... ehemmm... bottle
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AmazingContent.com - providing only the best content and service since 2003 Monetize your content on Veegaz.com - one of Germanies largest VOD sites Got German traffic? We convert it into money for you! Skype: madalton02826 - Email: oltecconsult [at] gmail [dot] com |
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#23 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Toronto
Posts: 2,867
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![]() I can open apple juice, jam jars, mayo aswell as many other types of twisty things that need ot be opened... haha
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ICQ: 405 009 573 |
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#24 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 568
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I wouldn't you really just prefer this
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#26 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,771
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I recommend avoiding the additional dead weight, and just use your charm on the clerk at the store - have him open it when you buy it, then just close it back up for the drive home
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#28 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,606
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i recommend achmed
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#29 |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 16,714
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what happend to the felon?
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A fast fortune is easy to earn! Just go with a winner! |
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#30 |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2001
Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am *I* located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :)
Posts: 51,460
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Fedex it to me and I'll open it for you.
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#31 |
Industry Role:
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: San Diego
Posts: 32,258
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I'm good with my hands..hence my job..and only snore when drunk..
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#32 |
Viva la vulva!
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: you can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself
Posts: 16,557
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#33 |
lurker
Industry Role:
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: atlanta
Posts: 57,021
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black and decker make an auto jar opener.
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#34 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 425
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I switched to pineapple juice for that exact same reason!!
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I have no siggy and I want no siggy.. damn no I have one again! |
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#35 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: "Is this where you want to be when Jesus comes back? Pickin' on lil' Joe Dirt?"
Posts: 747
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I would like to go on record as seconding this and would like to add that Achmed is most likely, probably, without a doubt, kind of an outstanding gentlemen.
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#36 |
Outside looking in.
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: To Hell You Ride
Posts: 14,243
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run the top under hot water for 1 minute then try.
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#37 |
I need a beer
![]() Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠
Posts: 133,940
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Tap the lid gently with a butter knife
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#38 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: the deep south
Posts: 2,079
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#39 |
Retired
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 21,225
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move into my house
do the dishes and vacuum the floors, dust the furniture and I'll open all the apple juice bottles you need.
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2 lifeguards for Jessica |
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#40 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: the 805
Posts: 4,290
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Honey I am a man and I can help, just send me the address.
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#41 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,890
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Can't you buy apple juice in a box or something?
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Skype variuscr - Email varius AT gmail |
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#42 |
NubilesCash.com Manager
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: NorCal
Posts: 4,365
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Damn you punker barbie!!!
I just went to open the apple juice and I can't open it and there are no men around to do it for me. ![]()
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#43 |
Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: the internets
Posts: 87
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i had an accident that took away 70% or my grip strength... my prenis is grateful, but I can't open the bottle for you either. sorry.
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#44 |
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 306
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#45 |
Confirmed User
Industry Role:
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 3,758
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id hit ya baby
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#46 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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I'll have to ask my wife first, but it shouldn't be an issue.
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#47 |
♥ ♦ ♣ ♠
Industry Role:
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 10,592
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Did somebody say APPLE?!?!?!
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#48 |
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: N.Y. -Long Island --
Posts: 122,992
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A/S/L pics???????????/
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#49 |
ICQ: 197-556-237
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: BRASIL !!!
Posts: 57,559
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I'd love to see some pics of you and your roomate trying to "open the apple juice bottle"....
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I'm just a newbie. |
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#50 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 335
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Well, a man is always better than a can opener but....
Take a regular oldschool can opener (the narrow sharp pointed one used to open beer cans back in the day) Turn it upside down, stick the point up under the lid, slightly push. Move over an inch and do it again. Pretty soon the lid will let go/ the seal will pop and you can open it right up. You will hear the hiss. I know this because years ago I had a stubborn lid on spaghetti sauce stick and a jar shatter and I got cut. |
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