|
|
|
|
||||
|
Welcome to the GoFuckYourself.com - Adult Webmaster Forum forums. You are currently viewing our boards as a guest which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community you will have access to post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), respond to polls, upload content and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free so please, join our community today! If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us. |
 |
|
|||||||
| Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed. |
|
|
Thread Tools |
05-30-2008, 12:32 PM
|
#51 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
Chuck Norris created the 50th post
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 12:33 PM
|
#52 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 12:33 PM
|
#53 |
|
Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2001
Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am *I* located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :)
Posts: 51,460
|
They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
__________________
Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!  ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!!  Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634 |
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 12:37 PM
|
#54 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 12:40 PM
|
#55 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris? hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush. Chuck Norris doesn?t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door. Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV. Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship. |
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 12:43 PM
|
#56 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 12:44 PM
|
#57 |
|
Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2001
Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am *I* located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :)
Posts: 51,460
|
There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
__________________
Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!! ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634 |
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 12:56 PM
|
#58 |
|
Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2001
Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am *I* located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :)
Posts: 51,460
|
Chuck Norris's cowboy boots are made of real cowboys
__________________
Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!! ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634 |
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 12:58 PM
|
#59 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 12:59 PM
|
#60 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:01 PM
|
#61 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:01 PM
|
#62 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
Chuck Norris doesn?t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:03 PM
|
#63 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:04 PM
|
#64 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will roundhouse you in the face.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:05 PM
|
#65 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
Faster than a speeding bullet ... more powerful than a locomotive ... able to leap tall buildings in a single bound... yes, these are some of Chuck Norris's warm-up exercises.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:06 PM
|
#66 |
|
Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2001
Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am *I* located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :)
Posts: 51,460
|
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down.
__________________
Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!! ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634 |
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:09 PM
|
#67 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:09 PM
|
#68 |
|
Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2001
Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am *I* located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :)
Posts: 51,460
|
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
__________________
Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!! ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634 |
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:10 PM
|
#69 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:11 PM
|
#70 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:11 PM
|
#71 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:12 PM
|
#72 |
|
Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2001
Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am *I* located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :)
Posts: 51,460
|
Ooh this is a keeper...
Chuck Norris does not hunt, because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
__________________
Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!! ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634 |
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:12 PM
|
#73 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:13 PM
|
#74 |
|
Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2001
Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am *I* located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :)
Posts: 51,460
|
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.
__________________
Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!! ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634 |
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:14 PM
|
#75 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:15 PM
|
#76 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
A Chuck Norris-delivered Roundhouse Kick is the preferred method of execution in 16 states.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:15 PM
|
#77 |
|
Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2001
Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am *I* located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :)
Posts: 51,460
|
Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris hit a horse with an uppercut.
__________________
Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!! ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634 |
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:15 PM
|
#78 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:16 PM
|
#79 |
|
Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2001
Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am *I* located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :)
Posts: 51,460
|
If you play Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" backwards, you will hear Chuck Norris banging your sister.
__________________
Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!! ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634 |
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:18 PM
|
#80 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
Chuck Norris doesnt shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:18 PM
|
#81 |
|
Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2001
Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am *I* located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :)
Posts: 51,460
|
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
__________________
Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!! ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634 |
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:18 PM
|
#82 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:20 PM
|
#83 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:20 PM
|
#84 |
|
Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2001
Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am *I* located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :)
Posts: 51,460
|
Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.
__________________
Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!! ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634 |
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:21 PM
|
#85 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:21 PM
|
#86 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:22 PM
|
#87 |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,038
|
Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
 |
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:22 PM
|
#88 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
The show Survivor had the original premise of putting people on an island with Chuck Norris. There were no survivors, and nobody is brave enough to go to the island to retrieve the footage.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:23 PM
|
#89 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:24 PM
|
#90 | |
|
Confirmed User
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 3,038
|
Quote:
|
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:25 PM
|
#91 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked one of the corners off.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:26 PM
|
#92 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:26 PM
|
#93 |
|
there's no $$$ in porn
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: icq: 195./568.-230 (btw: not getting offline msgs)
Posts: 33,063
|
Jack bauer could kick his ass
 |
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:26 PM
|
#94 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:27 PM
|
#95 |
|
Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2001
Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am *I* located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :)
Posts: 51,460
|
Chuck Norris once had an erection while lying face down. He struck oil.
__________________
Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!! ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634 |
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:29 PM
|
#96 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:30 PM
|
#97 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people. They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:31 PM
|
#98 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.
|
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:32 PM
|
#99 |
|
Too lazy to set a custom title
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2001
Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am *I* located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :)
Posts: 51,460
|
Pee Wee Herman got arrested for masturbating in public. That same day, Chuck Norris got an award for masturbating in public.
__________________
Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!! ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634 |
|
|
|
|
05-30-2008, 01:33 PM
|
#100 |
|
So Fucking Banned
Industry Role:
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 25,214
|
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
|
|
|
|
