I had sex with my best friends mom and now i have small bumps on my anal area:

[MetaMan]

HI

so any if you guys could maybe not make fun of me for this because i really dont want to tell my friends because frankly i am quite embarrassed.

so i went with my buddy to his moms house (she is separated) for dinner last week to keep her some company. i have known her since i was a small child a very nice lady.

anyway so we are sitting at dinner having a couple glasses of wine and all she is doing is talking about sports and BLACK athletes, as soon as my buddy goes to the bathroom i feel a foot near my cock then a big toe right in my asshole. and she winks at me and says "i bet you are hung like a black man".

so my buddy sits back down and i dont want to mention anything and then she starts to talk about athletes foot. the night goes on he passes out and me and her are left drinking wine.

she takes me up to her room strips my pants down and puts a big foot in my ass, this woman had huge feet. it kinda turned me on so i ended up banging her all night and came over her face. you should have seen my face in the morning when my buddy kissed his mom goodbye he licked his lips like it was a salty taste and his mom responds "o honey i was just eating salt and vinegar chips"

long story short my asshole has small bumps on the inside of it. and i am wondering if athletes foot can be passed on into your asshole?

[hypedough]

Definitely athletes foot inside your ass.

[MetaMan]

Originally Posted by hypedough

Definitely athletes foot inside your ass.

do you use the athletes foot spray or how would you go abouts healing this?

[Deej]

another metaman classic

[Deej]

BAM!

Tough actin' tinactin

[MetaMan]

Originally Posted by Deej

another metaman classic

hmm this isnt really funny.

i was also at the gym and found a bar of soap on the shower floor and washed my asshole with it, could it be like a combination? i wonder if their is multiple forms where i need like a stealth attack on it?

[BusterBunny]

BOOOM

[Deej]

Originally Posted by BusterBunny

BOOOM

well you got me on the boom...

I let my emiril slip out...

[hypedough]

Originally Posted by Deej

BAM!

Tough actin' tinactin

Yep it's tough actin' for sure.

[MetaMan]

Originally Posted by BusterBunny

BOOOM

ok that was good!

anyway it seems i am not the only person:

http://ask.metafilter.com/75540/Seri...p-with-my-anus

So I went to see my doctor about my itchy butt (he saw through the hair just fine, BTW), and he diagnosed me with pruritus ani, which is latin for "I have no idea why your ass itches." No hemmeys or fissures, no pinworms, just an unidentifiable urge to scratch my anus. He told me to switch from boxer briefs to plain old boxers (to help keep things aired out) and to keep using hydrocortizone cream for the rest of my life... and never, ever, EVER succumb to the urge to itch. Easier said than done.

I followed his advice, and for a short time the itching seemed to go away, but it's recently flared back up. Basically it works like this:

- Nothing feels out of whack down there (no skin flaps or bulging veins).
- No blood on my toilet paper or in my stool.
- No pain from bowel movements. In fact, my BMs don't seem to have any affect on the state of itchiness.
- Sitting alleviates the urge to itch almost immediately.
- Standing and walking aggravate the condition.
- Hydrocortizone doesn't always do the trick, so I've recently started using a generic version of Benadryl cream, which seems to be a little more effective.

Despite having two huge health care systems in my town, neither of them have a Proctologist. Do they go by a different name these days? We have several colo-rectal surgeons, but they seem to extreme for Mr. Itchy Ass 2007. I don't want to go back to my regular doctor, because, frankly, I think his prognosis was a bit weak.

Has anyone out there had a similar affliction? How did you ever find relief? Please help?! My anus is killing me!!! And I don't want to see any IANAD bullshit... I already figured as much.

i am going to read through this and hopefully find a solution

[AsianDivaGirlsWebDude]

Hope it was worth it!

Check this out (only 15 seconds):



Probably have to amputate your ass...

ADG

[SomeCreep]

Originally Posted by MetaMan

HI

so any if you guys could maybe not make fun of me for this because i really dont want to tell my friends because frankly i am quite embarrassed.

so i went with my buddy to his moms house (she is separated) for dinner last week to keep her some company. i have known her since i was a small child a very nice lady.

anyway so we are sitting at dinner having a couple glasses of wine and all she is doing is talking about sports and BLACK athletes, as soon as my buddy goes to the bathroom i feel a foot near my cock then a big toe right in my asshole. and she winks at me and says "i bet you are hung like a black man".

so my buddy sits back down and i dont want to mention anything and then she starts to talk about athletes foot. the night goes on he passes out and me and her are left drinking wine.

she takes me up to her room strips my pants down and puts a big foot in my ass, this woman had huge feet. it kinda turned me on so i ended up banging her all night and came over her face. you should have seen my face in the morning when my buddy kissed his mom goodbye he licked his lips like it was a salty taste and his mom responds "o honey i was just eating salt and vinegar chips"

long story short my asshole has small bumps on the inside of it. and i am wondering if athletes foot can be passed on into your asshole?

[collegeboobies]

what a nasty foot

[Bojangles]

Damn. I hope everything turns out okay for you...

[JFK]

Originally Posted by AsianDivaGirlsWebDude

Hope it was worth it!

Check this out (only 15 seconds):



Probably have to amputate your ass...

ADG

Holy burnin assholes

[sexandcash]

metaman
I'm sorry but if you haven't already please consult a doctor....
it sounds like something the doctor can clear right up
No offense but I'd rather put my trust in the hands of a licensed doctor than some bored webmasters who have probably never had athletes foot up the butt

blech...she must have had some nassttyy feet

[Mr Pheer]

I think maybe that was his dad, not his mom.

[tranza]

It seems you are in trouble!!

[Jman]

Well now the dudes won't have to wear ribbed condoms when they fuck you up the ass.

See there's always a positive side to things.

[MetaMan]

Originally Posted by Jean-Francois

Well now the dudes won't have to wear ribbed condoms when they fuck you up the ass.

See there's always a positive side to things.

her feet were full of calluses it was like a deep scratch in there. i walk with a wider stance now it felt so good.

[nAtuRaLbEautY]

Lessons learned:

Avoid mom's best friend.

[Iron Fist]

I wonder where he cuts and pastes all this BS from anyways...

[LadyMischief]

Could be molloscum not athlete's foot.

[_Richard_]

Originally Posted by sexandcash

metaman
I'm sorry but if you haven't already please consult a doctor....
it sounds like something the doctor can clear right up
No offense but I'd rather put my trust in the hands of a licensed doctor than some bored webmasters who have probably never had athletes foot up the butt

blech...she must have had some nassttyy feet

you wouldn't even begin to understand the value of 100+ experts!

[JFK]

Originally Posted by SBR Richard

you wouldn't even begin to understand the value of 100+ experts!

Priceless

[DAMNMAN]

Saw this post title and had to read it.

But have no advice for ya' except that "when you go to the conventions don't let anyone know you are the guy that posted this!!!!".

[Imortyl Pussycat]

this thread delivers

[missipissi]

Confused -- she told you she had athlete's foot at dinner and you still let her stick her toes up there?

Hope you get it cleared up soon.

[Reak AGV]

Sounds like a antactic problem

[Fredde]

Lol. Good luck!

[SCORE Ralph]

Originally Posted by MetaMan

HI

so any if you guys could maybe not make fun of me for this because i really dont want to tell my friends because frankly i am quite embarrassed.

so i went with my buddy to his moms house (she is separated) for dinner last week to keep her some company. i have known her since i was a small child a very nice lady.

anyway so we are sitting at dinner having a couple glasses of wine and all she is doing is talking about sports and BLACK athletes, as soon as my buddy goes to the bathroom i feel a foot near my cock then a big toe right in my asshole. and she winks at me and says "i bet you are hung like a black man".

so my buddy sits back down and i dont want to mention anything and then she starts to talk about athletes foot. the night goes on he passes out and me and her are left drinking wine.

she takes me up to her room strips my pants down and puts a big foot in my ass, this woman had huge feet. it kinda turned me on so i ended up banging her all night and came over her face. you should have seen my face in the morning when my buddy kissed his mom goodbye he licked his lips like it was a salty taste and his mom responds "o honey i was just eating salt and vinegar chips"

long story short my asshole has small bumps on the inside of it. and i am wondering if athletes foot can be passed on into your asshole?

You're a winner!

[Milfer]

It is my fantasy.

[John-ACWM]

Originally Posted by MetaMan

hmm this isnt really funny.

i was also at the gym and found a bar of soap on the shower floor and washed my asshole with it, could it be like a combination? i wonder if their is multiple forms where i need like a stealth attack on it?

You're hilarious

[MetaMan]

Originally Posted by sharphead

I wonder where he cuts and pastes all this BS from anyways...

all i see you is hating on everyone in every fucking thread.

i will whip my big fucking cock across your pretty little face so fast it will spin your head around so fast that it will put you back in time.

i am 100% original now shut your fucking mouth before i cause problems for you.

i cant stand unoriginal idiots who have to hate on people who have a real personality.

you dont like me stay away from me, i dont go in your threads because you are boring and useless, that is not my fault, it is most likely the fault of your parents both being lonely in their mid 20s and settling for eachother even though they have nothing in common because they are losers who do not want to be alone. when 2 losers mate what do you get? im sure you cant do the math? o wait you're an idiot, you get... A LOSER CHILD.

[jmcb420]

This is the first time I ever though about athleats foot in someones ass.....wow.

[seeandsee]

take a smell

[MetaMan]

Originally Posted by missipissi

Confused -- she told you she had athlete's foot at dinner and you still let her stick her toes up there?

Hope you get it cleared up soon.

when you are drunk off of wine you dont really care sometimes, and when you are a young all star MVP well hung big buck silverback leader of the pride long schlong down to get your friction on longer then a nigga cock big in shape white boy like myself sometimes you feel you are put her on earth to service women. and when you dont provide the service it is like you are going against gods will.

i mean i look at some of you losers and then look at myself and i see how painful it must be for women to settle down with such fucking geeks not knowing there is a big dick mofo like myself out there.

i am like a greek god, many women think i only exist in story books but once they see me in person it flips their entire world upside down.

me = pimp

[jaycontentbandit]

Thats weaaaaakk

[JockJuiceContent]

I dont mean to be a dick but this story sound like bs to me... Who kisses their mom and them licks their lips?

[MetaMan]

Originally Posted by JockJuiceContent

I dont mean to be a dick but this story sound like bs to me... Who kisses their mom and them licks their lips?

IT IS BECAUSE I CAME IN HER FUCKING MOUTH.

[Yngwie]

You have the new thing called Athletes Ass which can be very severe and may cause anal blockage and than followed by extreme anal leakage. Seek medical attention immediately.

[psili]

This is priceless writing, regardless of how bullshit the thread is:

Originally Posted by Metaman

and when you are a young all star MVP well hung big buck silverback leader of the pride long schlong down to get your friction on longer then a nigga cock big in shape white boy like myself sometimes you feel you are put her on earth to service women. and when you dont provide the service it is like you are going against gods will.

Goddamn, dude. That's pure poetry.
That's up there with GrimShawn's description of phatzane.
http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showpo...1&postcount=26

Originally Posted by GrimShawn

Dude you look like a retarded Ewok. You were blessed with the cock, but you sure were beaten with the ugly stick, the ugly branches, the ugly twigs, the ugly log, the ugly tree stump, the uglt roots, the ugly grass around the ugly tree, the ugly yard it's in, the ugly broken down fence around that yard, the ugly shak of a house at the end of the ugly yard with the ugly tree, the ugly block with all similar houses, trees, fences, and yards, the ugly ghetto ass worn torn broken up neighborhood, and of course all the ugly ass ewok tards living in that area.

[Doctor Feelgood]

Originally Posted by MetaMan

HI

so any if you guys could maybe not make fun of me for this because i really dont want to tell my friends because frankly i am quite embarrassed.

so i went with my buddy to his moms house (she is separated) for dinner last week to keep her some company. i have known her since i was a small child a very nice lady.

anyway so we are sitting at dinner having a couple glasses of wine and all she is doing is talking about sports and BLACK athletes, as soon as my buddy goes to the bathroom i feel a foot near my cock then a big toe right in my asshole. and she winks at me and says "i bet you are hung like a black man".

so my buddy sits back down and i dont want to mention anything and then she starts to talk about athletes foot. the night goes on he passes out and me and her are left drinking wine.

she takes me up to her room strips my pants down and puts a big foot in my ass, this woman had huge feet. it kinda turned me on so i ended up banging her all night and came over her face. you should have seen my face in the morning when my buddy kissed his mom goodbye he licked his lips like it was a salty taste and his mom responds "o honey i was just eating salt and vinegar chips"

long story short my asshole has small bumps on the inside of it. and i am wondering if athletes foot can be passed on into your asshole?

[GregE]

You have athlete's ass, otherwise known as sportsman's rectum.

There is no known cure.

Your life, as you know it, is effectively over.

Draw the correct conclusions and act accordingly

[Jman]

Originally Posted by MetaMan

her feet were full of calluses it was like a deep scratch in there. i walk with a wider stance now it felt so good.

LMAO this is pure gold right there

[HandballJim]

Go see a doctor ASAP...

http://newyork.craigslist.org/forums/?forumID=3300

http://www.sfcityclinic.org/

[MetaMan]

Originally Posted by Deej

BAM!

Tough actin' tinactin

i sprayed my crack down with this and i got to say my crack fucking burns. i literally am walking around holding my cheeks open. i hope you guys werent joking with me because i am being serious, it feels like a chemical burn almost.

[Deej]

Originally Posted by MetaMan

i sprayed my crack down with this and i got to say my crack fucking burns. i literally am walking around holding my cheeks open. i hope you guys werent joking with me because i am being serious, it feels like a chemical burn almost.

Ill bet on the can somewhere it says "not for rectal use" or "for external use only" ...

casualty of war

[dyna mo]

fcukin BADASS!

literally

[missipissi]

Originally Posted by MetaMan

when you are drunk off of wine you dont really care sometimes, and when you are a young all star MVP well hung big buck silverback leader of the pride long schlong down to get your friction on longer then a nigga cock big in shape white boy like myself sometimes you feel you are put her on earth to service women. and when you dont provide the service it is like you are going against gods will.

i mean i look at some of you losers and then look at myself and i see how painful it must be for women to settle down with such fucking geeks not knowing there is a big dick mofo like myself out there.

i am like a greek god, many women think i only exist in story books but once they see me in person it flips their entire world upside down.

me = pimp

I bow to your power of the run-on sentence.

Seriously - I really hope this works out for you. I'm not trying to harsh on your foot fetish.