Monavie is Bullshit, Funny Story.. . - GoFuckYourself.com

alias · 03-14-2009, 02:31 PM

?I just want to say Monavie active has help me tremendously. I have broken almost every bone in my body and had major back surgery. After about one week of drinking this stuff I had improvements in my knees and neck. My stomach issues have gone away and I will continue to buy in bulk and drink the stuff.? -dg

I know what you mean, dg.

Just this morning, I was speeding through an intersection and plowed right into a Monavie Distributor (unintentionally of course, as my Thursday maniacal driving sprees are reserved strictly for Jehovah?s Witnesses).

After the impact, I watched him fly about 50 feet into the air. After 3 astounding somersaults, gravity got the best of him and he began to come back down. His descent was epic. His landing, thunderous. The last thing I heard before his face hit the cold, hard pavement was:

?Drink it. Feel it. SPLAT!!!?

I think he DEFINITELY felt it.

Horrified, I closed my eyes for a minute. In my area, violence against Monavie Distributors is illegal. If convicted, I could face a fine of up to $1000. I have already been let off with a warning twice.

I gathered myself, opened my eyes, and stepped out of the car to see how bad it was. Would my insurance cover the damage to my car in an event like this? Would the police let me off with another warning?

Lo and Behold!!!

The lifeless mass of a Monavie Distributor I expected to find on the ground was GONE!!!

No blood. No guts. Just a few Monavie business cards. A picture of Dallin Larsen. And a broken bottle of $40 fruit syrup.

I looked to my left; I looked to my right. I looked everywhere. The only visible reminders of this event were the shards of glass by my feet, the dents and chips on my front bumper, and a faint purple trail running its course along the road, quietly fading into the distance.

If this isn?t a testament to the extraordinary healing powers of Monavie, then I don?t know what is.

Related:
http://media.monavie.com/pdf/corpora..._statement.pdf
http://purplehorror.com

hypedough · 03-14-2009, 02:34 PM

LOL nice fucking story...

robfantasy · 03-14-2009, 02:35 PM

monavie does taste goood, but way over priced

wtfent · 03-14-2009, 02:37 PM

I have some boys making huge bank with that company, either that or they are drug dealers and holding out on me.

alias · 03-14-2009, 02:39 PM

I just though the story was fucking funny. I laughed.

Reak AGV · 03-14-2009, 02:44 PM

Haha that's a funny story

03-14-2009, 02:31 PM	#1
alias aliasx Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 19,010	Monavie is Bullshit, Funny Story.. . ?I just want to say Monavie active has help me tremendously. I have broken almost every bone in my body and had major back surgery. After about one week of drinking this stuff I had improvements in my knees and neck. My stomach issues have gone away and I will continue to buy in bulk and drink the stuff.? -dg I know what you mean, dg. Just this morning, I was speeding through an intersection and plowed right into a Monavie Distributor (unintentionally of course, as my Thursday maniacal driving sprees are reserved strictly for Jehovah?s Witnesses). After the impact, I watched him fly about 50 feet into the air. After 3 astounding somersaults, gravity got the best of him and he began to come back down. His descent was epic. His landing, thunderous. The last thing I heard before his face hit the cold, hard pavement was: ?Drink it. Feel it. SPLAT!!!? I think he DEFINITELY felt it. Horrified, I closed my eyes for a minute. In my area, violence against Monavie Distributors is illegal. If convicted, I could face a fine of up to $1000. I have already been let off with a warning twice. I gathered myself, opened my eyes, and stepped out of the car to see how bad it was. Would my insurance cover the damage to my car in an event like this? Would the police let me off with another warning? Lo and Behold!!! The lifeless mass of a Monavie Distributor I expected to find on the ground was GONE!!! No blood. No guts. Just a few Monavie business cards. A picture of Dallin Larsen. And a broken bottle of $40 fruit syrup. I looked to my left; I looked to my right. I looked everywhere. The only visible reminders of this event were the shards of glass by my feet, the dents and chips on my front bumper, and a faint purple trail running its course along the road, quietly fading into the distance. If this isn?t a testament to the extraordinary healing powers of Monavie, then I don?t know what is. Related: http://media.monavie.com/pdf/corpora..._statement.pdf http://purplehorror.com __________________ https://porncorporation.com

03-14-2009, 02:34 PM	#2
hypedough Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Now running NATS4: HypeDough.com! Posts: 3,743	LOL nice fucking story... __________________ Ricky D :: Hype Dough President \| XBIZ.net \| ICQ 172-939-826 AIM+Skype HypeDough \| [NATS4] Kayden420: ['09 '10 '11 XBIZ Nominee \| Exclusive & HD] \| ThePornScout: [Exclusive + Reality \| Amateurs Want to Become Pornstars]

03-14-2009, 02:35 PM	#3
robfantasy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Medellin, Colombia Posts: 6,445	monavie does taste goood, but way over priced __________________ Looking to speak w/ high volume nutra CPA affiliates or networks... msg me

03-14-2009, 02:37 PM	#4
wtfent Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: San Diego, Cali. baby!!! Posts: 3,790	I have some boys making huge bank with that company, either that or they are drug dealers and holding out on me. __________________ ThisWillShockYou.com DVD Store - TWSY UNCENSORED ICQ# 194020367 E-mail: shockingbucks(AT)gmail.com Promote something different!! Shocking Bucks

03-14-2009, 02:39 PM	#5
alias aliasx Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 19,010	I just though the story was fucking funny. I laughed. __________________ https://porncorporation.com

03-14-2009, 02:44 PM	#6
Reak AGV Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Unknown Posts: 4,283	Haha that's a funny story __________________ Need Mainstream Content and SEO? SEO * Website Copy * Blogs Blogging - PR Work - Forum Marketing - Social Marketing - Link building - Articles 100% Guaranteed Content!