Ten Rules On Where Not To Go Drinking - GoFuckYourself.com

AssPirate · 03-26-2009, 06:07 AM

1. Never go to a bar that serves umbrellas in yout frink or colors your drink pink.

2. Never go to a bar that has a "Happy Hour". Nobody there ever is.

3. Never go to a bar where the bartender has more problems than you do.

4. Never go to a bar where you raise the average age of those inside by more than five years just by walking in.

5. Although the best pubs are Irish pubs, never go to one on St. Patty's Day. It's amateur night and a good time to get
a reservation at a Chinese restaurant.

6. Never go to a bar where there is more than one bouncer unless you're expecting the trouble they are.

7. Never go to a bar where they allow cellphones. A bar is a place of sanctity -- check your self-importance at the door.

8. Never go to a bar that doesn't ask you what brand you prefer but instead pours something called "Old Panther Piss" aged in the woods from the well underneath the counter.

9. Never go to a bar that doesn't allow cigar smoking. Tell anyone who complains, "If it wasn't for twenty cigars a day smoked by Winston Churchill, you'd be speaking German".

10. Never drive and drink. The world needs designated drivers -- and where would they be without designated drunks sitting in the backseat getting sick all over themselves? They'd be out of work, that's where.

(courtesy of the late lamented P.O.V. magazine)

Fletch XXX · 03-26-2009, 06:10 AM

all those are bars... plenty of other places to drink.

here in New orleans you can get drunk at the ZOO!

I can recommend it, walking around the zoo with a 32 ounce beer is awesome lol was doing this when I was younger lol

AssPirate · 03-26-2009, 06:25 AM

Addendum: stay away from bars whose patrons are men who drink while wearing skirts.

nico-t · 03-26-2009, 06:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AssPirate

7. Never go to a bar where they allow cellphones. A bar is a place of sanctity -- check your self-importance at the door.

there are bars that dont allow cellphones?

sexandcash · 03-26-2009, 07:41 AM

9. Never go to a bar that doesn't allow cigar smoking. Tell anyone who complains, "If it wasn't for twenty cigars a day smoked by Winston Churchill, you'd be speaking German".

AssPirate · 03-26-2009, 07:50 AM

Addendum: Avoid bars where bar brawls are something they brag about.

CIVMatt · 03-26-2009, 08:32 AM

Thats an odd list

UniqueD · 03-26-2009, 08:36 AM

im not sure what bars are left after that

AssPirate · 03-26-2009, 09:55 AM

bumping for bars

sortie · 03-26-2009, 10:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AssPirate

1. Never go to a bar that serves umbrellas in yout frink or colors your drink pink.

2. Never go to a bar that has a "Happy Hour". Nobody there ever is.

6. Never go to a bar where there is more than one bouncer unless you're expecting the trouble they are.

Translation : I didn't so shit in Hawaii, and I mean fucking nothing!

AssPirate · 03-26-2009, 10:08 AM

You got me there.

woj · 03-26-2009, 10:09 AM

That's kinda a lame list, I could come up with a better list than that, and the crew at POV does this shit for a living, wtf?

UFGators2007 · 03-26-2009, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nico-t

there are bars that dont allow cellphones?

I was wondering the same thing, lol.

John-ACWM · 03-26-2009, 10:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AssPirate

3. Never go to a bar where the bartender has more problems than you do.

this one I like

seeandsee · 03-26-2009, 10:58 AM

drink at home then

Jade509 · 03-26-2009, 11:31 AM

So pretty much don't go to a bar!!!!!!!!

Davidstinator · 03-26-2009, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AssPirate

1. Never go to a bar that serves umbrellas in yout frink or colors your drink pink.

>> Umbrella's = gay... yes. So toss the thing out and while you're out it; and MEN: toss out the straw too after giving your drink a stir. Men (Hetero-sexual that is, gays excluded) Men - shouldn't suck anything from a straw in a bar. By the way, your margarita should be rocks not blended.

2. Never go to a bar that has a "Happy Hour". Nobody there ever is

>> I take exception to this rule. I'm pretty happy with 2-4-1's!

3. Never go to a bar where the bartender has more problems than you do.

>> Exception: If the bartender has a problem with taking your money, you should go there as often as possible. If the bartender has problems counting your change back correctly and over-changes you, visit frequently.

4. Never go to a bar where you raise the average age of those inside by more than five years just by walking in.

>> Fuck that! How are the young ladies going to get the experienced cockmanship they need?

5. Although the best pubs are Irish pubs, never go to one on St. Patty's Day. It's amateur night and a good time to get
a reservation at a Chinese restaurant.

>> Agree completely! Avoid all 'amateur hour' locales: Any, especially nice restaurants on V-day, Mother's Day, New Years Eve, etc.

6. Never go to a bar where there is more than one bouncer unless you're expecting the trouble they are.

>> Disagree: Bouncer's are your friends. After all, i'm not starting a fight, but someone else might. If it's a big place, I want some protection!

7. Never go to a bar where they allow cellphones. A bar is a place of sanctity -- check your self-importance at the door.

>> Sanctity? ok... there are bars, and there are clubs. Clubs, you must have a phone, otherwise, how will I get the digits of some 21 y/o hottie, and begin texting her to meet her after closing time? - Bars... sure, I can do without my phone, but really, the bars I hang out at from time to time, I want my phone handy in case I meet a babe and want to exchange numbers.

8. Never go to a bar that doesn't ask you what brand you prefer but instead pours something called "Old Panther Piss" aged in the woods from the well underneath the counter.

>> "Mat Shot's" for everyone!

9. Never go to a bar that doesn't allow cigar smoking. Tell anyone who complains, "If it wasn't for twenty cigars a day smoked by Winston Churchill, you'd be speaking German".

>> If there are any bars left that allow smoking - you should be able to huff your stogie - agreed.

10. Never drive and drink. The world needs designated drivers -- and where would they be without designated drunks sitting in the backseat getting sick all over themselves? They'd be out of work, that's where.

(courtesy of the late lamented P.O.V. magazine)

>>> although I've been in the back seat my share of times, I've never gotten sick on myself. If you do - you should be ceremoniously dumped at the curb, if you're going to wreck your D.D.'s ride with your spew.

xx354xx · 03-26-2009, 03:22 PM

Words to Live by.

VetaD · 03-26-2009, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AssPirate

9. Never go to a bar that doesn't allow cigar smoking. Tell anyone who complains, "If it wasn't for twenty cigars a day smoked by Winston Churchill, you'd be speaking German".

Classic

potter · 03-26-2009, 04:57 PM

that was the stupidest list. seriously... wtf?

D Ghost · 03-26-2009, 05:24 PM

LOL at number 4 and 5 hahahaha

AssPirate · 03-26-2009, 09:08 PM

stupid but nice,my man, stupid but nice.

tony286 · 03-26-2009, 09:20 PM

Ive done some of my best drinking in chinese restaurant bar. Where they have those wonderful drinks that you dont know they fucked you up until you got up from the stool.

03-26-2009, 06:07 AM	#1
AssPirate Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 2,135	Ten Rules On Where Not To Go Drinking 1. Never go to a bar that serves umbrellas in yout frink or colors your drink pink. 2. Never go to a bar that has a "Happy Hour". Nobody there ever is. 3. Never go to a bar where the bartender has more problems than you do. 4. Never go to a bar where you raise the average age of those inside by more than five years just by walking in. 5. Although the best pubs are Irish pubs, never go to one on St. Patty's Day. It's amateur night and a good time to get a reservation at a Chinese restaurant. 6. Never go to a bar where there is more than one bouncer unless you're expecting the trouble they are. 7. Never go to a bar where they allow cellphones. A bar is a place of sanctity -- check your self-importance at the door. 8. Never go to a bar that doesn't ask you what brand you prefer but instead pours something called "Old Panther Piss" aged in the woods from the well underneath the counter. 9. Never go to a bar that doesn't allow cigar smoking. Tell anyone who complains, "If it wasn't for twenty cigars a day smoked by Winston Churchill, you'd be speaking German". 10. Never drive and drink. The world needs designated drivers -- and where would they be without designated drunks sitting in the backseat getting sick all over themselves? They'd be out of work, that's where. (courtesy of the late lamented P.O.V. magazine) __________________

03-26-2009, 06:10 AM	#2
Fletch XXX GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: that 504 Posts: 60,840	all those are bars... plenty of other places to drink. here in New orleans you can get drunk at the ZOO! I can recommend it, walking around the zoo with a 32 ounce beer is awesome lol was doing this when I was younger lol __________________ Want an Android App for your tube, membership, or free site? Need banners or promo material? Hit us up (ICQ Fletch: 148841377) or email me fletchxxx at gmail.com - recent work - About me

03-26-2009, 06:25 AM	#3
AssPirate Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 2,135	Addendum: stay away from bars whose patrons are men who drink while wearing skirts. __________________

03-26-2009, 07:41 AM	#5
sexandcash Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Los Angeles, California Posts: 1,566	9. Never go to a bar that doesn't allow cigar smoking. Tell anyone who complains, "If it wasn't for twenty cigars a day smoked by Winston Churchill, you'd be speaking German". __________________ SexandCash ICQ: 490-947-295

03-26-2009, 07:50 AM	#6
AssPirate Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 2,135	Addendum: Avoid bars where bar brawls are something they brag about. __________________

03-26-2009, 08:32 AM	#7
CIVMatt Amateur Pimpin Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Orlando, FL Posts: 13,075	Thats an odd list __________________ Make easy money with Webcams

03-26-2009, 08:36 AM	#8
UniqueD Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: Barcelona Posts: 1,022	im not sure what bars are left after that

03-26-2009, 09:55 AM	#9
AssPirate Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 2,135	bumping for bars __________________

03-26-2009, 10:08 AM	#11
AssPirate Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 2,135	You got me there. __________________

03-26-2009, 10:09 AM	#12
woj <&(©¿©)&> Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 47,882	That's kinda a lame list, I could come up with a better list than that, and the crew at POV does this shit for a living, wtf? __________________ Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000 Affiliate program tools: Hosted Galleries Manager Banner Manager Video Manager Wordpress Affiliate Plugin Pic/Movie of the Day Fansign Generator Zip Manager

03-26-2009, 10:58 AM	#15
seeandsee Check SIG! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Europe (Skype: gojkoas) Posts: 50,945	drink at home then __________________ BUY MY SIG - 50$/Year Contact here

03-26-2009, 11:31 AM	#16
Jade509 Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 1,166	So pretty much don't go to a bar!!!!!!!! __________________

03-26-2009, 03:22 PM	#18
xx354xx Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: NYC Posts: 118	Words to Live by. __________________ ICQ#:476-690-539

03-26-2009, 04:57 PM	#20
potter Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Denver Posts: 6,559	that was the stupidest list. seriously... wtf? __________________

03-26-2009, 05:24 PM	#21
D Ghost null Industry Role: Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 9,820	LOL at number 4 and 5 hahahaha

03-26-2009, 09:08 PM	#22
AssPirate Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 2,135	stupid but nice,my man, stupid but nice. __________________

03-26-2009, 09:20 PM	#23
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	Ive done some of my best drinking in chinese restaurant bar. Where they have those wonderful drinks that you dont know they fucked you up until you got up from the stool.