never lend money to friends or family... always turns out bad - GoFuckYourself.com

96ukssob · 10-28-2009, 10:21 AM

I lent some family (not technically, but related through my gf) money a few weeks ago. It was only a temporary loan for about a week, but now three have passed by and now I feel like an asshole for asking for it back.

on top of that, another "family" member asked me to let him borrow money because he is to lazy to get a job. i said no and i have a really good feeling i am getting talked badly about for not doing so.

thinking about it now, ive lent several friends money or bought them something in the past few years and never got paid back, even after I have asked. Its hard enough having to ask for the money back once, let alone multiple times. I had two close friends that I lent them several thousands of dollars and ruined our friendship badly after threatening to sue them for it back.

honestly, i dont understand it. ive never liked borrowing money from someone unless I really needed it. and when I have, ive always made a mental note to take what I owe and put that aside so I dont count it in as my own money.

just my

for today

Bryan G · 10-28-2009, 10:23 AM

I understand man, same thing has happened many times to me with friends. If I have every borrowed I always make sure I pay it back ASAP.

seeandsee · 10-28-2009, 10:24 AM

give them nothing and expect nothing?

JayDeeZee · 10-28-2009, 10:24 AM

Make a rule not to lend money to friends and family. If you are able to, then just give them money without expecting it back.

TurboAngel · 10-28-2009, 10:26 AM

I say if you can't afford to give the money away then don't lend it.

Agent 488 · 10-28-2009, 10:26 AM

i love to borrow money from family and friends. they usually don't like to ask for it back.

Wilsy · 10-28-2009, 10:26 AM

Always ends in tears

ProG · 10-28-2009, 10:29 AM

I will always loan money to a family or friend in need, I will not loan more than I can afford and I do not have any expectations for being paid back. If it takes a week, great, if it takes a year so be it. It's sounds like you either get walked over a lot or you need better "friends".

96ukssob · 10-28-2009, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TurboAngel

I say if you can't afford to give the money away then don't lend it.

the least they could do is give a receipt so i can use it for a tax write off

BradM · 10-28-2009, 10:30 AM

The easiest way to avoid this is to never mix friends/family/money

You've been burned a few times, so why is it a shocker it keeps happening

brassmonkey · 10-28-2009, 10:31 AM

my mom alwayz told me only lend out what your willing to lose

Supaflyz · 10-28-2009, 10:34 AM

Lending to family members can not only cost you money but also the relationship. Hope you don't learn the hard way.

TurboAngel · 10-28-2009, 10:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bossku69

the least they could do is give a receipt so i can use it for a tax write off

Have you asked? LOL

Furious_Male · 10-28-2009, 10:43 AM

I have never had a problem lending money to family. I have always got it back and most times they offered interest which I declined.

I have never been asked by a friend for a loan so I wouldn't know how that works out. Its something I would prefer to avoid anyway.

L-Pink · 10-28-2009, 10:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bossku69

the least they could do is give a receipt so i can use it for a tax write off

Actually if someone doesn't pay pack a loan it's considered taxable income to that person. Wait a year then call the IRS on them.

.

Sly · 10-28-2009, 11:01 AM

You seem to be getting yourself knee-deep in shit lately, may want to throw on some rubber boots. ;-)

LiveDose · 10-28-2009, 11:04 AM

If I help out family it is always with the expectation of not getting it back. No chance for disappointment or problems that way. Luckily I don't have friends that have ever asked.

Nikki_Licks · 10-28-2009, 11:11 AM

I feel for ya. If they push the point and want to talk bad about you, then they were not worth lending the money to anyway....family or not.

Maybe you should take collateral, like the title to their car, when they don?t pay up, sell the car

shimmy2 · 10-28-2009, 11:18 AM

just do whatever you can for them, i wouldn't expect it back... and yes they will treat u like an asshole for holding it over their heads

HowlingWulf · 10-28-2009, 11:22 AM

I have them sign a promissory note, with interest, just like anybody else.

BAKO · 10-28-2009, 11:29 AM

I know how that goes and i promised myself never in my life lend anyone a fucking penny. My cousin owes me $900 bucks for 2 years now and he still hasn't paid, one of my friend owes me 11k, i made him sign a promissory note and I'm hoping he pays me by the time the due date expires on the agreement or else

L-Pink · 10-28-2009, 11:30 AM

A refined gentleman such as myself will sometimes use a quote from the classics when confronted by irresponsible peasants .......

Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

William Shakespeare, "Hamlet", Act 1 scene 3

.

O MARINA · 10-28-2009, 11:31 AM

sorry to hear that bossku69

Quote:

Originally Posted by BAKO

I know how that goes and i promised myself never in my life lend anyone a fucking penny. My cousin owes me $900 bucks for 2 years now and he still hasn't paid, one of my friend owes me 11k, i made him sign a promissory note and I'm hoping he pays me by the time the due date expires on the agreement or else

sounds annoying

Brad Gosse · 10-28-2009, 11:32 AM

I have forgiven more debts than I can remember. It's part of life.

will76 · 10-28-2009, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bossku69

I lent some family (not technically, but related through my gf) money a few weeks ago. It was only a temporary loan for about a week, but now three have passed by and now I feel like an asshole for asking for it back.

on top of that, another "family" member asked me to let him borrow money because he is to lazy to get a job. i said no and i have a really good feeling i am getting talked badly about for not doing so.

thinking about it now, ive lent several friends money or bought them something in the past few years and never got paid back, even after I have asked. Its hard enough having to ask for the money back once, let alone multiple times. I had two close friends that I lent them several thousands of dollars and ruined our friendship badly after threatening to sue them for it back.

honestly, i dont understand it. ive never liked borrowing money from someone unless I really needed it. and when I have, ive always made a mental note to take what I owe and put that aside so I dont count it in as my own money.

just my

for today

Didn't you just lose 25K on a scam and you said that was your savings?

If so wtf is your problem??? You have the perfect excuse not to loan people money... Tell them how you were scammed out of your savings and you don't have any money left over. Poor mouth. Laugh and ask them for a loan.

When it comes to family and friends it should never be "I dont want to loan you money" but that you would you just don't have any to loan.

Also what works is if they are asking for say $500 give them $50 and tell them thats all you have. If they bitch they look ungratefull. If they don't pay you back, in most cases they wont ask for more because they know they still owe you. So it cost you $50 to look like the good guy and not be bothered from them anymore. Instead of being out $500, not getting it back and you looking like the asshole for hounding them for repayment.

czarina · 10-28-2009, 11:44 AM

I learned that lesson many years ago. Now I wouldnt lend money to anyone (except my mom, and she's never asked!) for any reason at all. There's an old Cuban saying:
"if you lend money to a friend, you lose the money and the friend". Those darn Cubans know their sh*t

96ukssob · 10-28-2009, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by will76

Didn't you just lose 25K on a scam and you said that was your savings?

If so wtf is your problem??? You have the perfect excuse not to loan people money... Tell them how you were scammed out of your savings and you don't have any money left over. Poor mouth. Laugh and ask them for a loan.

it was about two years ago that the money is gone, but just realized/told that i wont be getting any of it back

but yeah, true. honestly, that is one of the reasons i gave this guy money because i was out $10k from my friend and figured id be able to make it back a little faster.

Quote:

Originally Posted by will76

Also what works is if they are asking for say $500 give them $50 and tell them thats all you have. If they bitch they look ungratefull. If they don't pay you back, in most cases they wont ask for more because they know they still owe you. So it cost you $50 to look like the good guy and not be bothered from them anymore. Instead of being out $500, not getting it back and you looking like the asshole for hounding them for repayment.

i actually just had this happen this past weekend. had someone ask me for over $100 and i had change from something earlier which was about $11, so i said "i have $11, now your about 1/9th the way there" and he said "dude, wtf, dont even bother"

CamJack · 10-28-2009, 12:02 PM

quiet · 10-28-2009, 12:06 PM

if someone is really in need (family or friends), i just give them the money straight up. it's nice if they pay you back of course, but i do it with the idea that i'm not ever going to see it again. i paid for my brothers entire university career (4 year bachelors degree, 2 year masters), and he's just finally getting to the point when he can do some nice things financially for me.

96ukssob · 10-28-2009, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by geoGUERILLA

would make a great Halloween costume... for about 5 seconds

Due · 10-28-2009, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ProG

I will always loan money to a family or friend in need, I will not loan more than I can afford and I do not have any expectations for being paid back. If it takes a week, great, if it takes a year so be it. It's sounds like you either get walked over a lot or you need better "friends".

I agree to that.

A smaller loan between friends is in my eyes a 1 time gift (something less than a couple of 100), if they pay it back then great and I'd help them out again, if not then probably not.

wargames · 10-28-2009, 02:00 PM

I have lent money to many friends they have never paid back are no longer friends anymore

PornMD · 10-28-2009, 02:03 PM

Add coworkers to that list.

sex69 · 10-28-2009, 02:16 PM

I make gifts to my family and close friends without expecting anything in return but dont lend money. This is my rule!

Barefootsies · 10-28-2009, 10:18 PM

Amen toe dat shit.

For October I am $8000.00+ in the hole. Some are personal friend loans, others not. Needless to say it makes it a brutal fucking month.

themadwriter · 10-29-2009, 03:28 AM

lending money has always proven to be a means to opening a door that usually people would rather have left shut!

10-29-2009, 06:42 AM

too bad man, i lost $2k this way!

NetHorse · 10-29-2009, 07:20 AM

When family asks you for money, take them out for lunch and then say no.

MikeSmoke · 10-29-2009, 01:31 PM

Before my divorce was final, my ex-wife asked to borrow $1K because she didn't have the money to take the board exams for her MD. It was just about all I had at the time, but I lent it to her.

That was 15 years ago.
She's been a doctor for 15 years and never paid it back.

Tom_PM · 10-29-2009, 01:47 PM

I anticipated this issue when an ex wanted a new car. She wanted a "loan" of $500. I refused, but I GAVE her $500 for it. She was confused by my attitude, but years later when she was packing her bags for the curb, she asked when I wanted the $500 back! LOL! I told her NEVER, thats why it was a GIFT. Goodbye with no strings attached was worth every penny!

10-28-2009, 10:21 AM	#1
96ukssob So Fucking Banananananas Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: If I was in your ass you'd know it Posts: 12,991	never lend money to friends or family... always turns out bad I lent some family (not technically, but related through my gf) money a few weeks ago. It was only a temporary loan for about a week, but now three have passed by and now I feel like an asshole for asking for it back. on top of that, another "family" member asked me to let him borrow money because he is to lazy to get a job. i said no and i have a really good feeling i am getting talked badly about for not doing so. thinking about it now, ive lent several friends money or bought them something in the past few years and never got paid back, even after I have asked. Its hard enough having to ask for the money back once, let alone multiple times. I had two close friends that I lent them several thousands of dollars and ruined our friendship badly after threatening to sue them for it back. honestly, i dont understand it. ive never liked borrowing money from someone unless I really needed it. and when I have, ive always made a mental note to take what I owe and put that aside so I dont count it in as my own money. just my for today __________________ Email: Clicky on Me

10-28-2009, 10:23 AM	#2
Bryan G Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Toronto Posts: 8,338	I understand man, same thing has happened many times to me with friends. If I have every borrowed I always make sure I pay it back ASAP. __________________ Bryan skype: bryan.glass3 \| ICQ 302999591

10-28-2009, 10:24 AM	#3
seeandsee Check SIG! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Europe (Skype: gojkoas) Posts: 50,945	give them nothing and expect nothing? __________________ BUY MY SIG - 50$/Year Contact here

10-28-2009, 10:24 AM	#4
JayDeeZee Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 3,595	Make a rule not to lend money to friends and family. If you are able to, then just give them money without expecting it back. __________________

10-28-2009, 10:26 AM	#7
Wilsy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: UK Posts: 1,865	Always ends in tears __________________ Affiliate Manager

10-28-2009, 10:26 AM	#5
TurboAngel H.B.I.C. Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: NC Posts: 30,122	I say if you can't afford to give the money away then don't lend it.

10-28-2009, 10:26 AM	#6
Agent 488 Registered User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 22,511	i love to borrow money from family and friends. they usually don't like to ask for it back.

10-28-2009, 10:29 AM	#8
ProG Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 1,319	I will always loan money to a family or friend in need, I will not loan more than I can afford and I do not have any expectations for being paid back. If it takes a week, great, if it takes a year so be it. It's sounds like you either get walked over a lot or you need better "friends". __________________ History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.

10-28-2009, 10:30 AM	#10
BradM Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: 1123,6536,5231 Posts: 3,397	The easiest way to avoid this is to never mix friends/family/money You've been burned a few times, so why is it a shocker it keeps happening

10-28-2009, 10:31 AM	#11
brassmonkey Pay It Forward Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Yo Mama House Posts: 77,111	my mom alwayz told me only lend out what your willing to lose __________________ TRUMP 2025 KEKAW!!! - The Laken Riley Act Is Law! DACA ENDED - SUPPORT AZ HCR 2060 52R - email: brassballz-at-techie.com

10-28-2009, 10:34 AM	#12
Supaflyz Confirmed User Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 151	Lending to family members can not only cost you money but also the relationship. Hope you don't learn the hard way.

10-28-2009, 10:43 AM	#14
Furious_Male Doing the grind since 99 Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Buffalo NY Posts: 16,881	I have never had a problem lending money to family. I have always got it back and most times they offered interest which I declined. I have never been asked by a friend for a loan so I wouldn't know how that works out. Its something I would prefer to avoid anyway. __________________ Living in Virtual Reality Contact: Email (preferred): furiousmale .at. gmail - Skype: live:shanedws

10-28-2009, 11:01 AM	#16
Sly Let's do some business! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 31,298	You seem to be getting yourself knee-deep in shit lately, may want to throw on some rubber boots. ;-) __________________ Vacares - Web Hosting, Domains, O365, Security & More - Paxum and BTC Accepted Windows VPS now available - 1st month free for GFY members - DM for details Wanted: CCBill pay sites for sale

10-28-2009, 11:04 AM	#17
LiveDose Show Yer Tits! Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Somewhere Out there... Posts: 25,792	If I help out family it is always with the expectation of not getting it back. No chance for disappointment or problems that way. Luckily I don't have friends that have ever asked. __________________ Scammer Alert: acer19 acer [email protected] [email protected] Money stolen using PayPal

10-28-2009, 11:11 AM	#18
Nikki_Licks Confirmed User Join Date: May 2005 Location: Behind The Lens Posts: 6,323	I feel for ya. If they push the point and want to talk bad about you, then they were not worth lending the money to anyway....family or not. Maybe you should take collateral, like the title to their car, when they don?t pay up, sell the car __________________ Amateur Content ICQ: 292 356 077

10-28-2009, 11:18 AM	#19
shimmy2 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Dominican Republic Posts: 3,248	just do whatever you can for them, i wouldn't expect it back... and yes they will treat u like an asshole for holding it over their heads __________________ Make $$$ with Toticos.com! \| Email: 1bluemiata@gmail \| Joutube: ShimmyCash \| Faceberg: ShimmyCash

10-28-2009, 11:22 AM	#20
HowlingWulf Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2001 Posts: 1,662	I have them sign a promissory note, with interest, just like anybody else. __________________ WP Porn directory/review theme Maddos $35. webmaster AT howling-wulf.com

10-28-2009, 11:29 AM	#21
BAKO Etology.com Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Hollywood CA Posts: 18,386	I know how that goes and i promised myself never in my life lend anyone a fucking penny. My cousin owes me $900 bucks for 2 years now and he still hasn't paid, one of my friend owes me 11k, i made him sign a promissory note and I'm hoping he pays me by the time the due date expires on the agreement or else __________________ http://DatingNetwork.com Telegram: @bakokaye

10-28-2009, 11:30 AM	#22
L-Pink working on my tan Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida/Kentucky Posts: 39,151	A refined gentleman such as myself will sometimes use a quote from the classics when confronted by irresponsible peasants ....... Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend, And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry. This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man. William Shakespeare, "Hamlet", Act 1 scene 3 .

10-28-2009, 11:32 AM	#24
Brad Gosse Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Carpal Tunnel Posts: 2,616	I have forgiven more debts than I can remember. It's part of life. __________________ Free Clipart

10-28-2009, 11:44 AM	#26
czarina Webmaster Extraordinaire Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: A beautiful beach... Posts: 10,748	I learned that lesson many years ago. Now I wouldnt lend money to anyone (except my mom, and she's never asked!) for any reason at all. There's an old Cuban saying: "if you lend money to a friend, you lose the money and the friend". Those darn Cubans know their sh*t

10-28-2009, 12:02 PM	#28
CamJack Old School Webmaster Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: NY Posts: 1,334	__________________ Skype: promote.promote [email protected]

10-28-2009, 12:06 PM	#29
quiet we'll miss you our friend. RIP Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Fernie, BC Posts: 25,115	if someone is really in need (family or friends), i just give them the money straight up. it's nice if they pay you back of course, but i do it with the idea that i'm not ever going to see it again. i paid for my brothers entire university career (4 year bachelors degree, 2 year masters), and he's just finally getting to the point when he can do some nice things financially for me.

10-28-2009, 02:00 PM	#32
wargames Kliris Join Date: May 2003 Location: ca Posts: 10,423	I have lent money to many friends they have never paid back are no longer friends anymore __________________ ICQ 212-115-582 Email Steve at Vas Media Group .com

10-28-2009, 02:03 PM	#33
PornMD Mainstream Businessman Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: San Diego Posts: 9,291	Add coworkers to that list. __________________ Want to crush it in mainstream with Facebook ads? Hit me up.

10-28-2009, 02:16 PM	#34
sex69 Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 671	I make gifts to my family and close friends without expecting anything in return but dont lend money. This is my rule! __________________ HotNiches.com-Add Site Porn Sites- Submit For Adult Sites-Add URL Adult Webcams Sex Webcams Erotic Search Reality Sex Sex Videos

10-28-2009, 10:18 PM	#35
Barefootsies Choice is an Illusion Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Land of Obama Posts: 42,635	Amen toe dat shit. For October I am $8000.00+ in the hole. Some are personal friend loans, others not. Needless to say it makes it a brutal fucking month. __________________ Should You Email Your Members? Link1 \| Link2 \| Link3 Enough Said. "Would you rather live like a king for a year or like a prince forever?"

10-29-2009, 03:28 AM	#36
themadwriter Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Experienced SEO Copywriter at your service! Posts: 1,427	lending money has always proven to be a means to opening a door that usually people would rather have left shut! __________________ icq : 591247121 xxxcopywriters.com

10-29-2009, 06:42 AM	#37
Altwebdesign Guest Posts: n/a	too bad man, i lost $2k this way!

10-29-2009, 07:20 AM	#38
NetHorse Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Chicago Posts: 3,526	When family asks you for money, take them out for lunch and then say no. __________________ ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐ ICQ # 427013273

10-29-2009, 01:31 PM	#39
MikeSmoke Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: SoCal Posts: 3,233	Before my divorce was final, my ex-wife asked to borrow $1K because she didn't have the money to take the board exams for her MD. It was just about all I had at the time, but I lent it to her. That was 15 years ago. She's been a doctor for 15 years and never paid it back. __________________ icq: 541-739-92

10-29-2009, 01:47 PM	#40
Tom_PM Porn Meister Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 16,443	I anticipated this issue when an ex wanted a new car. She wanted a "loan" of $500. I refused, but I GAVE her $500 for it. She was confused by my attitude, but years later when she was packing her bags for the curb, she asked when I wanted the $500 back! LOL! I told her NEVER, thats why it was a GIFT. Goodbye with no strings attached was worth every penny! __________________ 43-922-863 Shut up and play your guitar.