Awesome news article: "Might Be On Drugs, Say Authorities" - GoFuckYourself.com

HighlyIntoxicated · 02-14-2010, 04:44 AM

Bayron Reyes Lopez was listening to his radio too loud at 4:30 in the morning, when police knocked on his door responding to noise complaints. There was no answer. When they found the door unlocked, the officers opened it on an empty apartment, because Lopez had just hurled himself out the third story window. He took a 30-foot flying leap of faith, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade style, because somebody knocked on his door?and he did it instantly. Knock knock. Who?s the- Fuck that! Window.

An hour and a half later, police receive a call about a crazed man who ?appeared, screaming, in front of Julie Donnelly, a 34-year-old woman out walking her dog.? Note that: ?Appeared, screaming.? As in, he was already screaming when she just happened to show up. Just? just screaming at the sunrise. The man then ?charged her, grabbed her dog by the neck, choked it and slammed it into the pavement before running off.? Again, that is an instant decision from Mr. Lopez: ?Nice dog you got there, you mind if I CHOKESLAM!? ? and then he is gone like some sort of dickhead Batman. A few minutes later police found Lopez at the Rancho San Clemente Tennis Club, completely naked, lying on the ground pouring hot coffee on himself. They arrested him, because it?s outside of police procedure to give a man a viking funeral before he?s technically dead.

?He may have been under the influence of drugs,? police told the local newspaper. That is their actual quote.

He leapt out a third story window, wrestled a dog to death with his bare hands after a passerby interrupted his screaming session, then stripped naked and covered himself in burning coffee? and police are not willing to commit to his status RE:Drugs.

Here?s a hint: It?s very. His status is ?very drugs.?

EscortBiz · 02-14-2010, 04:50 AM

its like when a person goes missing that is male and has blonde hair and is about 40 years old, then a few days later they find a body a mile away of a male approx 40 yrs old with blonde hair, the police release a statement saying they cannot confirm this is the missing person as they must do tests first,

its a common cycle, jumping to conclusions when they shouldnt and not jumping to conclusions when they should

kane · 02-14-2010, 04:55 AM

A friend of mine is a cop and one night about midnight he got a call that there was someone in the local city park "acting suspiciously." So he drives over and finds a guy completly naked washing his balls in the drinking fountain. They never found his clothes and the guy would only say that his dick and balls itched so he needed to wash them.

Needless to say ever since then whenever he goes to that park with his family they make sure to take some bottled water.

The best part is that I have another friend who has always refused to drink from a drinking fountain. He would say, "You don't know, someone could have just washed their ass on that thing." I always told him he was out of his mind. When he heard about this he calls me up and says, "See motherfucker, I told you so!"

HighlyIntoxicated · 02-14-2010, 04:55 AM

There's an awesome mug shot photo to go along with this article but unfortunately I do not have enough posts to link it. I'll update this thread after I make my 30th post.

Jarmusch · 02-14-2010, 04:55 AM

Country and race?

Fletch XXX · 02-14-2010, 06:54 AM

people do stuff like that everyday while "not on drugs"

there are plenty of mental illnesses that make people do those things and it has nothing to do with drugs. Did they test him for drugs or is this just some BS post>?

Grapesoda · 02-14-2010, 07:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EscortBiz

its like when a person goes missing that is male and has blonde hair and is about 40 years old, then a few days later they find a body a mile away of a male approx 40 yrs old with blonde hair, the police release a statement saying they cannot confirm this is the missing person as they must do tests first,

its a common cycle, jumping to conclusions when they shouldnt and not jumping to conclusions when they should

one word: lawyers

cherrylula · 02-14-2010, 07:59 AM

sounds like he needed drugs!

Iron Fist · 02-14-2010, 02:24 PM

I'd jump out of my window if the cops came knocking too... but I live in the basement.

02-14-2010, 04:44 AM	#1
HighlyIntoxicated Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 542	Awesome news article: "Might Be On Drugs, Say Authorities" Bayron Reyes Lopez was listening to his radio too loud at 4:30 in the morning, when police knocked on his door responding to noise complaints. There was no answer. When they found the door unlocked, the officers opened it on an empty apartment, because Lopez had just hurled himself out the third story window. He took a 30-foot flying leap of faith, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade style, because somebody knocked on his door?and he did it instantly. Knock knock. Who?s the- Fuck that! Window. An hour and a half later, police receive a call about a crazed man who ?appeared, screaming, in front of Julie Donnelly, a 34-year-old woman out walking her dog.? Note that: ?Appeared, screaming.? As in, he was already screaming when she just happened to show up. Just? just screaming at the sunrise. The man then ?charged her, grabbed her dog by the neck, choked it and slammed it into the pavement before running off.? Again, that is an instant decision from Mr. Lopez: ?Nice dog you got there, you mind if I CHOKESLAM!? ? and then he is gone like some sort of dickhead Batman. A few minutes later police found Lopez at the Rancho San Clemente Tennis Club, completely naked, lying on the ground pouring hot coffee on himself. They arrested him, because it?s outside of police procedure to give a man a viking funeral before he?s technically dead. ?He may have been under the influence of drugs,? police told the local newspaper. That is their actual quote. He leapt out a third story window, wrestled a dog to death with his bare hands after a passerby interrupted his screaming session, then stripped naked and covered himself in burning coffee? and police are not willing to commit to his status RE:Drugs. Here?s a hint: It?s very. His status is ?very drugs.?

02-14-2010, 04:50 AM	#2
EscortBiz Fuck Checks, CASH only! Join Date: May 2002 Location: New York City Posts: 19,422	its like when a person goes missing that is male and has blonde hair and is about 40 years old, then a few days later they find a body a mile away of a male approx 40 yrs old with blonde hair, the police release a statement saying they cannot confirm this is the missing person as they must do tests first, its a common cycle, jumping to conclusions when they shouldnt and not jumping to conclusions when they should __________________ Spanking, Medical Fetish, Sleeping, Strap-on Anal Lesbians, Girls Fucking Guys, Handjob site REAL HOT, Shemales, Anal and Ass Licking sites 100% Real EXCLUSIVE with amazing retention, ccbill payouts, lots of content FREE FTP HOSTING Promote the largest and oldest member paid escort site, Converts 10 times better then any dating site, CCBill payouts ICQ# 158802076

02-14-2010, 06:54 AM	#6
Fletch XXX GFY HALL OF FAME DAMMIT!!! Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: that 504 Posts: 60,840	people do stuff like that everyday while "not on drugs" there are plenty of mental illnesses that make people do those things and it has nothing to do with drugs. Did they test him for drugs or is this just some BS post>? __________________ Want an Android App for your tube, membership, or free site? Need banners or promo material? Hit us up (ICQ Fletch: 148841377) or email me fletchxxx at gmail.com - recent work - About me

02-14-2010, 02:24 PM	#9
Iron Fist Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 23,400	I'd jump out of my window if the cops came knocking too... but I live in the basement. __________________ i like waffles

02-14-2010, 04:55 AM	#3
kane Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: portland, OR Posts: 20,684	A friend of mine is a cop and one night about midnight he got a call that there was someone in the local city park "acting suspiciously." So he drives over and finds a guy completly naked washing his balls in the drinking fountain. They never found his clothes and the guy would only say that his dick and balls itched so he needed to wash them. Needless to say ever since then whenever he goes to that park with his family they make sure to take some bottled water. The best part is that I have another friend who has always refused to drink from a drinking fountain. He would say, "You don't know, someone could have just washed their ass on that thing." I always told him he was out of his mind. When he heard about this he calls me up and says, "See motherfucker, I told you so!"

02-14-2010, 04:55 AM	#5
Jarmusch Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 12,464	Country and race?

02-14-2010, 07:59 AM	#8
cherrylula lol Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 15,969	sounds like he needed drugs!