The Worst Guitar Player In The History Of Rock... - GoFuckYourself.com

garce · 10-12-2010, 11:31 PM

Drum roll please...

Yngwie J. Malmsteen. Jimmy Hendrix is going to rape the soul of this fat Swedish idiot. Oh look! Purple Haze! It could have been worse - he could have tried to play Red House! Shit, he already tried and failed...

Sorry, that was fucking embarrasing... This idiot asshat can noodle faster than a Korean Ramen Chef, but his feel for music is, how you say, lacking. As in - Paginini is your God? Cool, stick the violin, poseur.

Yngwie is the worst guitar player in the history of rock and roll.

What follows is yet another video, from my good friend Tony Springer - Wild T. He may be old and washed up, but he can still destroy Yngwie. The man is brilliant. Its a shit recording from a shit club and he's playing with shit musicians that he barely knows. If ouy're from Toronto, Tony Springer is your God.

Too bad he was overhwelmed by cocaine and failure.

Personal anecdote below:

I'd love to post a video of FIRE live at the Roxy in Toronto. I can't, though, so maybe you can ask David Bowie about Wild T. If you that doesn't work out, you'll just have to take my word for this...

Anyway, circa 1992, my band opened for Wild T & The Spirit a number of times. We had the same management as Rik Emmet, Tony Springer, and others.

These were guys I thought I knew. Well , I knew Tony, anyway - and I remember going into their dressing room to have a drink and shoot some shit... This was in London, 1992 or 1993, and, as always - Tony had some new guys filling in. Sil Simone told me to fuck off.

I broke his nose. Good times. Mayhem breaks out. Tony is sitting in the corner, ignoring everything. He just hired these guys - he doesn't care. He's actually smiling to hmself.

Sil is curled up on the floor, crying like a baby and Jojo - Wild T's bass player - runs at me. My best man Johnny B slaps Jojo to the ground like a piece of paper, then he walks over and drops Kareem - the drummer - onto the floor. Because he could.

Half of Tony's band is crying for their mothers, and I ask - Hey, Tone. Everthing cool?

Wild T says, "Yeah. What you doing tonight?" We ended up not only opening for him, we were his backup band that nght. I've know the dude for over 30 years. He used to let me play the Strat in this video.

He's a good man, and maybe the best Canadian blues guitar player ever. Better than my late, great friend Jeff Healey, better than Colin James, and David Wilcox.

A more recent video of my good friend Tony Springer.

tabasco · 10-12-2010, 11:36 PM

garce · 10-12-2010, 11:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tabasco

I appreciate the cat, but you didn't read all that.

Matthew · 10-12-2010, 11:42 PM

fuck, I'm so sick of Yngwie bashing.. what the hell is so wrong with that purple haze version of his? FEELING? Give me a break. he is making faces and playing behind the tempo sometimes just like all your FEELING gods do..

d-null · 10-12-2010, 11:42 PM

I agree with you garce, it's missing something

as a guitar player I wonder about it too, like that little almost imperceptible delay in timing or rush of timing, little extra bend on not as much bend at the exact right time, there are so many variables that make a song played by a human on a guitar different than if it was programmed in note for note to a computer

but on a side note, Yngwie does have some good songs that he performs with great feel that really bring some mood out of me, but him doing purple haze is not on par with his status in the guitar world

harvey · 10-12-2010, 11:45 PM

you nailed it. Malsteem is a fast shredder, granted. But it has 0 music in him, he has 0 emotion, he has 0 creativity, just a speed freak, nothing else.

Seeing that vid I think it's a perfect example: while Hendrix had a love for visual impact, it came from music, from sheer creativity, from breaking grounds and trying to reach new horizons. When I see this Malsteem vid, he looks like an old lady whose only goal in life is conformism, settling with establishment and buying old ladie's bijoux. He's to Hendrix what Muzak is to rock

AzteK · 10-12-2010, 11:51 PM

That explains the stupid hair.

SpongeBub · 10-12-2010, 11:56 PM

That second guy sounds like me in my parent's basement circa 1973.

garce · 10-13-2010, 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matthew

fuck, I'm so sick of Yngwie bashing.. what the hell is so wrong with that purple haze version of his? FEELING? Give me a break. he is making faces and playing behind the tempo sometimes just like all your FEELING gods do..

I`m assuming that was sarcasm. I HOPE that was sarcasm.

Making faces? WTF? He's prouncing around with shiny locks (shiny locks he lost 20 years ago...) and flashing his smile.

My imitation of Wingwee: Noodly-noodly-wanker-wanker-noddly-bah-HE-a-doodly-do! Boodly-oop-A7iqMWZX-kA-ca-shing-badaly-boodly! A7iqMWZX-kA = a reverse 32nd note rake. Got to give him credit for that.

Yangszte, Wangfag, Yingwoo, whatever the fat fuck calls himself - the idiot bastard is a laughing stock. He`s not a guitar player, he`s hypocritical a fiddle player. Keith Richard would walk over Yangshangwhoopie`s corpse and 50,000 people would cheer.

Yngwie is the single most pâthetic guitar player in the history of music. I`ll put my money on Django. Yngwie (or whatever the fuck) is a noodling, idiot joke.

So sayeth the garce.

The last thing on Jimi's mind when he composed Purple Haze was a fat Swedish fisherman playing the song with his teeth.

Yngwie - technically brilliant as he is - should stick to his Paganini noodling and just let Jimi and Ritchie quietly take their places in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. That is ONE PLACE where Yngwie will NEVER be welcome.

Noodle-noodle-parmesan-a taste of old Italy! Yngwie is shit. The fat asshole would not know what rock and roll was even if Elvis rose from the grave and kicked him in the face.

That`s enough. Yngwie has about as much to do with rock and roll as ABBA does. Actually, ABBA is more influential than that fat idiot.

Angry Jew Cat - Banned for Life · 10-13-2010, 12:26 AM

Disagreed. I am the worst guitarist in rock...

Widdley WAHHHHH widdley widdley WAHHHHHHHHHHHH

Seth Manson · 10-13-2010, 12:27 AM

This thread reminds me of star trek nerds arguing about dilithium crystals and warp cores and the space/time continuim thingy.

Socks · 10-13-2010, 12:33 AM

What do you think of Buckethead Garce? Similar line of thought I gues.

Hey I'm in Toronto as well, wanna go for drinks or something? You seem like an interesting guy

I also love guitar, my dad is a big music fan and I was raised on guys like Jeff Healey, Wilcox, etc. My favourites are SRV and BB King. Even if BB wasn't "the best" that guy can make my spine tingle. Also really love great blues harmonica, Junior Wells, Little Walter, Musselwhite, etc.

I guess you remember Crowbar from Toronto? With their one album "Greatest Hits" :P

AzteK · 10-13-2010, 12:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seth Manson

This thread reminds me of star trek nerds arguing about dilithium crystals and warp cores and the space/time continuim thingy.

and how you know about that argument is beyond me...

marcop · 10-13-2010, 12:42 AM

I agree with you, Garce... Yngwie is lame. Comparing him to Hendrix is like comparing Lady Gaga to the Beatles. A lot of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

charlie g · 10-13-2010, 01:56 AM

that yngwie is a real showman!!!!

nico-t · 10-13-2010, 02:33 AM

talk about music taste of extremely old fucks, could you please stop these threads with lame, almost black and white videos of these has beens?

Loki · 10-13-2010, 02:39 AM

I do think Jeff Scott Soto (sic) was the best part of Trilogy

AzteK: what's with the constant long hair sniping??

-Loki-

DamianJ · 10-13-2010, 03:09 AM

I bet Robbie loves Yngwie.

cykoe6 · 10-13-2010, 03:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by marcop

I agree with you, Garce... Yngwie is lame. Comparing him to Hendrix is like comparing Lady Gaga to the Beatles. A lot of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Well put.

ArsewithClass · 10-13-2010, 03:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by garce

Drum roll please...

Yngwie J. Malmsteen. Jimmy Hendrix is going to rape the soul of this fat Swedish idiot. Oh look! Purple Haze! It could have been worse - he could have tried to play Red House! Shit, he already tried and failed...

I must be the worst Guitarist ever!

When I was young, I had a guitar & amp for about my 11th birthday, joined a band & left the band about 2 months later (my choice to leave lol...). For the record, Im pretty good at violin & keyboard, just wasnt all that on the guitar....

Heres to te best ever guitarist

MrBottomTooth · 10-13-2010, 05:37 AM

You've got to give him credit for throwing the guitar 20 feet up in the air and then not even bothering to catch it.

Nicky · 10-13-2010, 05:45 AM

He's good at what he does, granted playing Jimi is not what he does(or atleast should do)

IllTestYourGirls · 10-13-2010, 05:58 AM

Who?....

CaptainHowdy · 10-13-2010, 06:03 AM

Who cares? Oh wait...

EonBlue · 10-13-2010, 08:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by garce

He's a good man, and maybe the best Canadian blues guitar player ever. Better than my late, great friend Jeff Healey, better than Colin James, and David Wilcox.

What about Frank Marino?

Verbal · 10-13-2010, 08:54 AM

Something about that douchebag long hair and pompous 80's attitude makes me want to repeatedly bash him in the face ... and I'm not a violent person. It's been a few decades, time to move on.

10-12-2010, 11:31 PM	#1
garce Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Toronto Posts: 7,103	The Worst Guitar Player In The History Of Rock... Drum roll please... Yngwie J. Malmsteen. Jimmy Hendrix is going to rape the soul of this fat Swedish idiot. Oh look! Purple Haze! It could have been worse - he could have tried to play Red House! Shit, he already tried and failed... Sorry, that was fucking embarrasing... This idiot asshat can noodle faster than a Korean Ramen Chef, but his feel for music is, how you say, lacking. As in - Paginini is your God? Cool, stick the violin, poseur. Yngwie is the worst guitar player in the history of rock and roll. What follows is yet another video, from my good friend Tony Springer - Wild T. He may be old and washed up, but he can still destroy Yngwie. The man is brilliant. Its a shit recording from a shit club and he's playing with shit musicians that he barely knows. If ouy're from Toronto, Tony Springer is your God. Too bad he was overhwelmed by cocaine and failure. Personal anecdote below: I'd love to post a video of FIRE live at the Roxy in Toronto. I can't, though, so maybe you can ask David Bowie about Wild T. If you that doesn't work out, you'll just have to take my word for this... Anyway, circa 1992, my band opened for Wild T & The Spirit a number of times. We had the same management as Rik Emmet, Tony Springer, and others. These were guys I thought I knew. Well , I knew Tony, anyway - and I remember going into their dressing room to have a drink and shoot some shit... This was in London, 1992 or 1993, and, as always - Tony had some new guys filling in. Sil Simone told me to fuck off. I broke his nose. Good times. Mayhem breaks out. Tony is sitting in the corner, ignoring everything. He just hired these guys - he doesn't care. He's actually smiling to hmself. Sil is curled up on the floor, crying like a baby and Jojo - Wild T's bass player - runs at me. My best man Johnny B slaps Jojo to the ground like a piece of paper, then he walks over and drops Kareem - the drummer - onto the floor. Because he could. Half of Tony's band is crying for their mothers, and I ask - Hey, Tone. Everthing cool? Wild T says, "Yeah. What you doing tonight?" We ended up not only opening for him, we were his backup band that nght. I've know the dude for over 30 years. He used to let me play the Strat in this video. He's a good man, and maybe the best Canadian blues guitar player ever. Better than my late, great friend Jeff Healey, better than Colin James, and David Wilcox. A more recent video of my good friend Tony Springer.

10-12-2010, 11:36 PM	#2
tabasco Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: In a van down by the river Posts: 2,624	__________________ "There is no other way to see a thing except to look at it" - fatfoo

10-12-2010, 11:42 PM	#4
Matthew Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 194	fuck, I'm so sick of Yngwie bashing.. what the hell is so wrong with that purple haze version of his? FEELING? Give me a break. he is making faces and playing behind the tempo sometimes just like all your FEELING gods do.. __________________ unicorns and rainbows

10-12-2010, 11:42 PM	#5
d-null . . . Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: NY Posts: 13,724	I agree with you garce, it's missing something as a guitar player I wonder about it too, like that little almost imperceptible delay in timing or rush of timing, little extra bend on not as much bend at the exact right time, there are so many variables that make a song played by a human on a guitar different than if it was programmed in note for note to a computer but on a side note, Yngwie does have some good songs that he performs with great feel that really bring some mood out of me, but him doing purple haze is not on par with his status in the guitar world __________________ __________________ Looking for a custom TUBE SCRIPT that supports massive traffic, load balancing, billing support, and h264 encoding? Hit up Konrad! Looking for designs for your websites or custom tubesite design? Hit up Zuzana Designs Check out the #1 WordPress SEO Plugin: CyberSEO Suite

10-12-2010, 11:45 PM	#6
harvey Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: 127.0.0.1 Posts: 9,266	you nailed it. Malsteem is a fast shredder, granted. But it has 0 music in him, he has 0 emotion, he has 0 creativity, just a speed freak, nothing else. Seeing that vid I think it's a perfect example: while Hendrix had a love for visual impact, it came from music, from sheer creativity, from breaking grounds and trying to reach new horizons. When I see this Malsteem vid, he looks like an old lady whose only goal in life is conformism, settling with establishment and buying old ladie's bijoux. He's to Hendrix what Muzak is to rock __________________ This post is endorsed by CIA, KGB, MI6, the Mafia, Illuminati, Kim Jong Il, Worldwide Ninjas Association, Klingon Empire and lolcats. Don't mess around with it, just accept it and embrace the truth

10-12-2010, 11:51 PM	#7
AzteK Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Northern Cali, USA Posts: 3,440	That explains the stupid hair. __________________ WANTED: Buying Blog Posts and Links

10-12-2010, 11:56 PM	#8
SpongeBub Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 470	That second guy sounds like me in my parent's basement circa 1973.

10-13-2010, 12:26 AM	#10
Angry Jew Cat - Banned for Life (felis madjewicus) Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: In Mom & Dad's Basement Posts: 20,368	Disagreed. I am the worst guitarist in rock... Widdley WAHHHHH widdley widdley WAHHHHHHHHHHHH

10-13-2010, 12:27 AM	#11
Seth Manson Please dont fuck animals Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Henderson, NV Posts: 3,988	This thread reminds me of star trek nerds arguing about dilithium crystals and warp cores and the space/time continuim thingy. __________________

10-13-2010, 12:33 AM	#12
Socks Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Location: Toronto Posts: 8,475	What do you think of Buckethead Garce? Similar line of thought I gues. Hey I'm in Toronto as well, wanna go for drinks or something? You seem like an interesting guy I also love guitar, my dad is a big music fan and I was raised on guys like Jeff Healey, Wilcox, etc. My favourites are SRV and BB King. Even if BB wasn't "the best" that guy can make my spine tingle. Also really love great blues harmonica, Junior Wells, Little Walter, Musselwhite, etc. I guess you remember Crowbar from Toronto? With their one album "Greatest Hits" :P

10-13-2010, 12:42 AM	#14
marcop Content Producer Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 4,143	I agree with you, Garce... Yngwie is lame. Comparing him to Hendrix is like comparing Lady Gaga to the Beatles. A lot of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

10-13-2010, 01:56 AM	#15
charlie g Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: Center of the Universe Posts: 2,758	that yngwie is a real showman!!!! __________________ AlanAgus1 at gmail dot com -------------------------------

10-13-2010, 02:33 AM	#16
nico-t emperor of my world Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: nethalands Posts: 29,903	talk about music taste of extremely old fucks, could you please stop these threads with lame, almost black and white videos of these has beens?

10-13-2010, 02:39 AM	#17
Loki Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Michigan Posts: 4,420	I do think Jeff Scott Soto (sic) was the best part of Trilogy AzteK: what's with the constant long hair sniping?? -Loki- __________________ MAKE MONEY WITH 3D TOONS! Need hosting? LokiCa$h Uses Amerinoc and love them! Skype: LokiPorn Or Email 3dloki\|at\|gmail.com

10-13-2010, 03:09 AM	#18
DamianJ Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: A magical land Posts: 15,808	I bet Robbie loves Yngwie.

10-13-2010, 05:37 AM	#21
MrBottomTooth Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 5,795	You've got to give him credit for throwing the guitar 20 feet up in the air and then not even bothering to catch it. __________________ Get Paid Per Email Like The WEGCASH Days!!!!

10-13-2010, 05:45 AM	#22
Nicky Judge Jury and Executioner Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Sweden Posts: 30,069	He's good at what he does, granted playing Jimi is not what he does(or atleast should do) __________________ gfynicky @ gmail.com Last edited by Nicky; 10-13-2010 at 05:48 AM..

10-13-2010, 05:58 AM	#23
IllTestYourGirls Ah My Balls Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Under the gold leaf ICQ 388-454-421 Posts: 14,311	Who?.... __________________

10-13-2010, 06:03 AM	#24
CaptainHowdy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Happy in the dark. Posts: 93,123	Who cares? Oh wait... __________________ FLASH SALE INSANITY! deal with a 100% Trusted Seller Buy Traffic Spots on a High-Quality Network 1 Year or Lifetime — That’s Right, Until the Internet Explodes!

10-13-2010, 08:54 AM	#26
Verbal Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Tampa, FL Posts: 3,420	Something about that douchebag long hair and pompous 80's attitude makes me want to repeatedly bash him in the face ... and I'm not a violent person. It's been a few decades, time to move on.