Things I have learnt from American Cop shows... - GoFuckYourself.com

CurrentlySober · 07-18-2011, 10:21 AM

1) If you ever need to steal a car, simply reach under the dashboard, where you will find just two single wires. One will be red, the other green.

More often than not, they will already be broken, with the ends exposed. Simply touch the ends together, and the car will start.

What have you learnt?

candyflip · 07-18-2011, 10:23 AM

I like the real life cop shows, like The First 48.

I can't believe the number of people who actually talk to the cops. Or even confess without consulting with a lawyer.

Intrinsic · 07-18-2011, 10:24 AM

1.) They film with shitty cameras
2.) All footage is old as fuck
3.) Black guy gets chased thrown to the ground and cuffed, rinse repeat

Markul · 07-18-2011, 10:26 AM

That drunk driving testing is done with ancient methods? Touch your nose, stand on one leg wtf

Choopa Phil · 07-18-2011, 10:27 AM

usually the 2 fattest guage wires are the red and yellow which are the ignition wires, its very easy to tell and easy to clip and start the car. doing remote starts for numerous vehicles, ya learn alot

CurrentlySober · 07-18-2011, 10:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by candyflip

I like the real life cop shows, like The First 48.

I can't believe the number of people who actually talk to the cops. Or even confess without consulting with a lawyer.

I like 'Cops'

I have learnt from that, that after making an arrest (No matter how minor or insignificant it may be) all the cops will gather in a group, to discuss it from start to finish, in great detail, (Probably to get their storys straight) while slapping each other on the back, shaking hands and saying 'Good Job'

CurrentlySober · 07-18-2011, 10:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Choopa Phil

usually the 2 fattest guage wires are the red and yellow which are the ignition wires,

No, No.... No !

RED & GREEN ! I just watched a guy steal a police van in episode 3, season 2 of 'The Wire' and they were CLEARLY red and green

CurrentlySober · 07-18-2011, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Markul

That drunk driving testing is done with ancient methods? Touch your nose, stand on one leg wtf

Makes for better TV though

CDSmith · 07-18-2011, 12:33 PM

When the sun goes down, every male in America puts on a little sleeveless white undershirt commonly referred to as a 'wifebeater', then proceeds to beat said wife until the cops show up.

Chase down, tackled to the ground, cuffed, rinse, repeat.

Also, everyone there says 'yo' instead of your, and 'axe' instead of ask.

Far-L · 07-18-2011, 12:38 PM

The boss is always ready to pull you off the case but will give you one more chance - as long as you can get something good in the next 24 hours... and that is going to take some good ol' fashioned beat downs...

Phoenix · 07-18-2011, 12:40 PM

i think that it is funny that on csi, people confess to everything.

id like to see a parody where the cops don't even leave the precinct anymore, people just come in and confess..lol

Far-L · 07-18-2011, 12:55 PM

Never ever never wait for the back up... because then you won't be able to scream at the sky after your partner has been shot for brashly rushing in when he even told you it wouldn't be a good idea in the first place.

Keep the revolvers set to "endless ammo" because otherwise you might have a problem with those ak47 and uzi wielding bad guys

Hide behind drywall because it is amazing at stopping bullets

JFK · 07-18-2011, 12:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Far-L

Never ever never wait for the back up... because then you won't be able to scream at the sky after your partner has been shot for brashly rushing in when he even told you it wouldn't be a good idea in the first place.

Keep the revolvers set to "endless ammo" because otherwise you might have a problem with those ak47 and uzi wielding bad guys

Hide behind drywall because it is amazing at stopping bullets

Hide behind drywall because it is amazing at stopping bullets

Chosen · 07-18-2011, 01:02 PM

Nothing

alias · 07-18-2011, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Choopa Phil

usually the 2 fattest guage wires are the red and yellow which are the ignition wires, its very easy to tell and easy to clip and start the car. doing remote starts for numerous vehicles, ya learn alot

Anal Hobbit would approve.

Tom_PM · 07-18-2011, 01:11 PM

Everything explodes in a gasoline fireball if it gets a hole in it from a bullet.
Also, most police chases run straight through the vegetable and fruit cart district.

ottopottomouse · 07-18-2011, 01:11 PM

Cops can't drive for shit. Everybody within a 20 mile radius turns up for a carchase and crashes into each other.

96ukssob · 07-18-2011, 01:14 PM

most cops are idiots
cops think they are on a higher level then everyone else
dont EVER talk to the police

DaddyHalbucks · 07-18-2011, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Intrinsic

1.) They film with shitty cameras
2.) All footage is old as fuck
3.) Black guy gets chased thrown to the ground and cuffed, rinse repeat

Let's revise that slightly:

3.) Black guy commits crime, black guy gets chased thrown to the ground and cuffed, rinse repeat.

Fornicating · 07-18-2011, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CurrentlySober

1) If you ever need to steal a car, simply reach under the dashboard, where you will find just two single wires. One will be red, the other green.

More often than not, they will already be broken, with the ends exposed. Simply touch the ends together, and the car will start.

What have you learnt?

Car crashes, does somersault, blows up.
Baddies shoot car, car blows up.
Car crashes off bridge, blows up in mid air for no reason whatsoever.
Baddies use machine gun, empty clip, re-load, shoot no-one, car has two bullet holes, blows up anyway.
Shooting the tyre makes your car fly in the air, do a double twist, somersault and blow up while in the air.

Back screen gets shot, bullet never hits the front windscreen, obviously bullet just stops.
No-one ever locks their car doors when they drive, makes it easier to hijack.
Guys stops car driving at 60mph and shouts "Cop. I want your car" now one ever says "Fuck Off get your own"
Cars fly off raised bridges/skyscapers and land and keep driving with no affect on the suspension or steering. We hit a pothole the size of your fist and you have to get your steering realigned.
If your Bruce Willis, you can destroy helicopter flying 30 meters in air by driving your car into it.

Black guy does crime, chase down.....................

CurrentlySober · 07-18-2011, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaddyHalbucks

Let's revise that slightly:

3.) Black guy commits crime, black guy gets chased thrown to the ground and cuffed, rinse repeat.

Stop being truthfull... I ENJOY THE FANTASY OF MY TV

TubeKing · 07-18-2011, 01:44 PM

Nothing better than Campus PD on tv.

Grapesoda · 07-18-2011, 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Markul

That drunk driving testing is done with ancient methods? Touch your nose, stand on one leg wtf

07-18-2011, 10:21 AM	#1
CurrentlySober Too lazy to wipe my ass Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: A Public Bathroom Posts: 38,490	Things I have learnt from American Cop shows... 1) If you ever need to steal a car, simply reach under the dashboard, where you will find just two single wires. One will be red, the other green. More often than not, they will already be broken, with the ends exposed. Simply touch the ends together, and the car will start. What have you learnt? __________________ My AI Handywork... My Dream Gal... XXX 👁️ 👍️ 💩

07-18-2011, 10:23 AM	#2
candyflip Carpe Visio Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: New York Posts: 43,052	I like the real life cop shows, like The First 48. I can't believe the number of people who actually talk to the cops. Or even confess without consulting with a lawyer. __________________ Spend you some brain. Email Me

07-18-2011, 10:27 AM	#5
Choopa Phil Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 3,965	usually the 2 fattest guage wires are the red and yellow which are the ignition wires, its very easy to tell and easy to clip and start the car. doing remote starts for numerous vehicles, ya learn alot __________________ AIM - Choopa Phil Email - [email protected] A World Wide Leader In Hosting! * CHOOPA.COM *

07-18-2011, 12:33 PM	#9
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	When the sun goes down, every male in America puts on a little sleeveless white undershirt commonly referred to as a 'wifebeater', then proceeds to beat said wife until the cops show up. Chase down, tackled to the ground, cuffed, rinse, repeat. Also, everyone there says 'yo' instead of your, and 'axe' instead of ask. __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

07-18-2011, 12:38 PM	#10
Far-L Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Seattle Posts: 6,075	The boss is always ready to pull you off the case but will give you one more chance - as long as you can get something good in the next 24 hours... and that is going to take some good ol' fashioned beat downs... __________________ HomegrownCash.com, the affiliate program of Homegrown Video - The Largest Collection of Amateur XXX - Est. 1982. Contact - Email: farrell AT homegrownvideo D com Skype: hgfarl Newsweek Magazine - "Homegrown Video, the longest running series in the history of porn."

07-18-2011, 10:24 AM	#3
Intrinsic Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 1,589	1.) They film with shitty cameras 2.) All footage is old as fuck 3.) Black guy gets chased thrown to the ground and cuffed, rinse repeat

07-18-2011, 10:26 AM	#4
Markul Likes Pie Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: The land that liberated porn Posts: 12,402	That drunk driving testing is done with ancient methods? Touch your nose, stand on one leg wtf

07-18-2011, 12:40 PM	#11
Phoenix BACON BACON BACON Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Poems everybody, the laddie fancies himself a poet Posts: 35,457	i think that it is funny that on csi, people confess to everything. id like to see a parody where the cops don't even leave the precinct anymore, people just come in and confess..lol __________________ Skype Phoenixskype1 Telegram PhoenixBrad https://quantads.io

07-18-2011, 12:55 PM	#12
Far-L Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Seattle Posts: 6,075	Never ever never wait for the back up... because then you won't be able to scream at the sky after your partner has been shot for brashly rushing in when he even told you it wouldn't be a good idea in the first place. Keep the revolvers set to "endless ammo" because otherwise you might have a problem with those ak47 and uzi wielding bad guys Hide behind drywall because it is amazing at stopping bullets __________________ HomegrownCash.com, the affiliate program of Homegrown Video - The Largest Collection of Amateur XXX - Est. 1982. Contact - Email: farrell AT homegrownvideo D com Skype: hgfarl Newsweek Magazine - "Homegrown Video, the longest running series in the history of porn."

07-18-2011, 01:02 PM	#14
Chosen VIPPay.com \| AdultWebSponsors.com Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Posts: 63,151	Nothing

07-18-2011, 01:11 PM	#16
Tom_PM Porn Meister Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 16,443	Everything explodes in a gasoline fireball if it gets a hole in it from a bullet. Also, most police chases run straight through the vegetable and fruit cart district. __________________ 43-922-863 Shut up and play your guitar.

07-18-2011, 01:11 PM	#17
ottopottomouse She is ugly, bad luck. Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 13,177	Cops can't drive for shit. Everybody within a 20 mile radius turns up for a carchase and crashes into each other. __________________ ↑ see post ↑ 13101

07-18-2011, 01:14 PM	#18
96ukssob So Fucking Banananananas Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: If I was in your ass you'd know it Posts: 12,991	most cops are idiots cops think they are on a higher level then everyone else dont EVER talk to the police __________________ Email: Clicky on Me

07-18-2011, 01:44 PM	#22
TubeKing Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 541	Nothing better than Campus PD on tv.