You may live in Canada if... - GoFuckYourself.com

Evil Chris · 10-05-2011, 11:22 AM

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
September through May,
You may live in Canada .

If someone in a Home Depot store
Offers you assistance and they don't work there,
You may live in Canada .

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You may live in Canada .

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation
With someone who dialed a wrong number,
You may live in Canada ..

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere
South of Detroit for the weekend,
You may live in Canada .

If you measure distance in hours,
You may live in Canada .

If you know several people
Who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada ..

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C'
In the same day and back again,
You may live in Canada ..

If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow
During a raging blizzard without flinching,
You may live in Canada .

If you install security lights on your house and garage,
But leave both unlocked,
You may live in Canada .

If you carry jumper cables in your car
And your wife knows how to use them,
You may live in Canada .

If you design your kid's Halloween costume
To fit over a snowsuit,
You may live in Canada .

If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km --
You're going 95 and everybody is passing you,
You may live in Canada .

If driving is better in the winter
Because the potholes are filled with snow,
You may live in Canada ..

If you know all 4 seasons:
Almost winter, winter, still winter,
and road construction,
You may live in Canada .

If you have more miles
On your snow blower than your car,
You may live in Canada .

If you find -2 degrees 'a little chilly',
You may live in Canada .

If you actually understand these jokes,
and forward them to all
your friends, you definitely are Canadian and proud to be.

(Jeff Foxworthy jokes)

DoubleD · 10-05-2011, 11:28 AM

lol damn it, all hit too close to home...

RebelR · 10-05-2011, 11:34 AM

Quote:

If someone in a Home Depot store
Offers you assistance and they don't work there,
You may live in Canada .

This is usually the only assistance you will receive in Home Depot

I must admit.. I LOL'd at most of these, and there were many a "yeah I can't argue with that" comments.

Lisa_trafficshop · 10-05-2011, 11:34 AM

Oh, so many things to enjoy! I LOVE CANADA!

LAJ · 10-05-2011, 11:37 AM

Haha! Well... living in Northern Minnesota for so many years, I can actually relate to a lot of these...

fuckyou/payme · 10-05-2011, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evil Chris

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
September through May,
You may live in Canada . -- lol yep

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time,
You may live in Canada . -- mm don't know about that one but sounds doable

If you measure distance in hours,
You may live in Canada . - do it all the time, is that really a Canadian thing?

If you know several people
Who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada .. - LOL more or less, yep

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C'
In the same day and back again,
You may live in Canada .. - lol

If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow
During a raging blizzard without flinching,
You may live in Canada . --- a little faster even, while cars are spinning out and trucks are jack-knifed, the good ol' days.. (I no longer live in Canada)

If you know all 4 seasons:
Almost winter, winter, still winter,
and road construction,
You may live in Canada . -- Know them all too damned well, but not anymore!

If you find -2 degrees 'a little chilly',
You may live in Canada . -- LOL

If you actually understand these jokes,
and forward them to all
your friends, you definitely are Canadian and proud to be.

(Jeff Foxworthy jokes)

Some good ones

Kenny B! · 10-05-2011, 11:45 AM

Um...
If you have more miles
On your snow blower than your car,

If you lived in Canada it would me kilometers not miles. Just sayin

camperjohn64 · 10-05-2011, 11:59 AM

I actually got my first girlfriend when she randomly crank called my house. Yes, I'm Canadian.

L-Pink · 10-05-2011, 12:06 PM

If once a week you bitch on gfy about exchange rates.
You're a webmaster in Canada.

Evil Chris · 10-05-2011, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-Pink

If once a week you bitch on gfy about exchange rates.
You're a webmaster in Canada.

Odie · 10-05-2011, 12:17 PM

ahahaha sooooooooo goood!!!!

Raja · 10-05-2011, 12:24 PM

Makes me almost miss home...

_Richard_ · 10-05-2011, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-Pink

If once a week you bitch on gfy about exchange rates.
You're a webmaster in Canada.

i had no idea you were canadian

sweetums · 10-05-2011, 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-Pink

If once a week you bitch on gfy about exchange rates.
You're a webmaster in Canada.

Hell yeah

the Shemp · 10-05-2011, 12:57 PM

brings back memories of living in ottawa, edmonton and halifax ...

sperbonzo · 10-05-2011, 12:58 PM

If you look through the fridge to find maple syrup to put on your hawaiian pizza... which you then eat with a knife and fork....
You must be a Canadian.

.

blackmonsters · 10-05-2011, 01:39 PM

If you are mad about not getting ketchup with your french fries, then you don't live
in Canada. You're visiting from America.

Sunny Day · 10-05-2011, 02:22 PM

Hate to say this, but there are places in Kansas & Missouri like this

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from
September through May,
You may live in Canada .

MORE JUST NOVEMBER-MARCH

If you measure distance in hours,
You may live in Canada .

THE 8 HOUR DRIVE FROM KC TO DENVER, JUST TO GO TO MOUNTAINS

If you know several people
Who have hit a deer more than once,
You may live in Canada ..

MY FRONT YARD

If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C'
In the same day and back again,
You may live in Canada ..

HAD A TRAILER AND WORKED NIGHTS. I COULD ONLY GET TO SLEEP WITH THE HEAT & ELECTRIC BLANKET ON AT 8 AM, BY NOON THE A/C HAD TO KICK ON TO PREVENT IT GETTING TO 150 F

If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow
During a raging blizzard without flinching,
You may live in Canada .

DAMN COMBINES DON'T HAVE SPEEDOMETERS. WHO KNOWS HOW FAST WE'RE GOING.

If you install security lights on your house and garage,
But leave both unlocked,
You may live in Canada .

GIRLFRIEND LEAVES FRONT DOOR OPEN ALL NIGHT FOR 'AIR FLOW.' COME ON IN MR. MANSON.

If you carry jumper cables in your car
And your wife knows how to use them,
You may live in Canada .

HER NEXT PROJECT IS REPLACING VALVE COER GASKETS. TOLD HER THE CAR SMELLED OF OIL THE PAST FEW MONTHS.

IIf the speed limit on the highway is 80 km --
You're going 95 and everybody is passing you,
You may live in Canada .

MY MOTHER BITCHES ABOUT PEOPLE PASSING HER. WHEN SHE'S 15 MPH OVER THE SPEED LIMIT

If driving is better in the winter
Because the potholes are filled with snow,
You may live in Canada ..

HERE, THE POLITICIANS GIVE SEMINARS TO CHICAGO & NYC POLITICIANS, ON HOW TO STEAL MONEY & GET THE 'PEOPLE' TO LOVE YOU AND KEEP REELECTING YOU.

If you know all 4 seasons:
Almost winter, winter, still winter,
and road construction,
You may live in Canada .

THANK GOD WE HAVE 4 SEASONS. AS FOR ROAD CONSTRUCTION, DIDN'T ADAM HAVE TROUBLE WITH THAT AND IN THE YEAR 2525, THERE WILL STILL BE ROAD CONSTRICTION IN THIS TOWN.

If you have more miles
On your snow blower than your car,
You may live in Canada .

If you find -2 degrees 'a little chilly',
You may live in Canada .

GETTING OLD. ANYTHING UNDER 90 F IS FUCKING COLD

If you actually understand these jokes,
and forward them to all
your friends, you definitely are Canadian and proud to be.

HEY, I LOVE RED/GREEN. JUST CAN'T BELIEVE HE WASN'T FROM KANSAS.

flashfire · 10-05-2011, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-Pink

If once a week you bitch on gfy about exchange rates.
You're a webmaster in Canada.

not anymore now we love them

GTS Mark · 10-05-2011, 03:40 PM

Lol spot On!!!

Elli · 10-05-2011, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by L-Pink

If once a week you bitch on gfy about exchange rates.
You're a webmaster in Canada.

shit! where'd the 'like' button go?

MrBottomTooth · 10-05-2011, 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blackmonsters

If you are mad about not getting ketchup with your french fries, then you don't live
in Canada. You're visiting from America.

I don't know any place in Canada that doesn't serve ketchup with fries. You must have been in some sort of crack town.

thickcash_amo · 10-05-2011, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blackmonsters

If you are mad about not getting ketchup with your french fries, then you don't live
in Canada. You're visiting from America.

Weird Canadians put poutine on their fries! Not bad tasting, but I'll keep my ketchup!

10-05-2011, 11:22 AM	#1
Evil Chris OG Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: 3rd from the Sun Posts: 13,232	You may live in Canada if... If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, You may live in Canada . If someone in a Home Depot store Offers you assistance and they don't work there, You may live in Canada . If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, You may live in Canada . If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation With someone who dialed a wrong number, You may live in Canada .. If 'Vacation' means going anywhere South of Detroit for the weekend, You may live in Canada . If you measure distance in hours, You may live in Canada . If you know several people Who have hit a deer more than once, You may live in Canada .. If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' In the same day and back again, You may live in Canada .. If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow During a raging blizzard without flinching, You may live in Canada . If you install security lights on your house and garage, But leave both unlocked, You may live in Canada . If you carry jumper cables in your car And your wife knows how to use them, You may live in Canada . If you design your kid's Halloween costume To fit over a snowsuit, You may live in Canada . If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km -- You're going 95 and everybody is passing you, You may live in Canada . If driving is better in the winter Because the potholes are filled with snow, You may live in Canada .. If you know all 4 seasons: Almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, You may live in Canada . If you have more miles On your snow blower than your car, You may live in Canada . If you find -2 degrees 'a little chilly', You may live in Canada . If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your friends, you definitely are Canadian and proud to be. (Jeff Foxworthy jokes) __________________ It PAYZE to post on GFY chris at payze.com \| Skype chriswrp

10-05-2011, 11:28 AM	#2
DoubleD Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Canada Posts: 758	lol damn it, all hit too close to home... __________________ BeSocial.com The New and Exciting Casual Dating Social Network icq: 165049736

10-05-2011, 11:34 AM	#4
Lisa_trafficshop Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Somewhere high... Posts: 677	Oh, so many things to enjoy! I LOVE CANADA! __________________ At Trafficshop we buy and sell adult skimmed, popunder, mobile traffic, banners on desktop and mobile Reach me at [alisya][at][trafficshop][dot][com] or icq: 603 -250 - 812 or skype:allissia_skype https://www.trafficshop.com

10-05-2011, 11:37 AM	#5
LAJ Gingerific Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Austin Posts: 5,568	Haha! Well... living in Northern Minnesota for so many years, I can actually relate to a lot of these... __________________ YNOT.com - The original industry resource email jay at ynot dot com or skype LAJConsulting

10-05-2011, 11:45 AM	#7
Kenny B! Confirmed Abuser Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Montreal Posts: 5,716	Um... If you have more miles On your snow blower than your car, If you lived in Canada it would me kilometers not miles. Just sayin __________________ Kenny -at- YourPaysitePartner.com Skype: kennyb514 Do business with us: Your Paysite Partner Kenny's Pennies Sticky Dollars Radical Cash Indie Bucks Stand Ahead Read My Ambush Interview Here

10-05-2011, 11:59 AM	#8
camperjohn64 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 1,531	I actually got my first girlfriend when she randomly crank called my house. Yes, I'm Canadian. __________________ www.gimmiegirlproductions.com

10-05-2011, 12:06 PM	#9
L-Pink working on my tan Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Florida/Kentucky Posts: 39,152	If once a week you bitch on gfy about exchange rates. You're a webmaster in Canada.

10-05-2011, 12:17 PM	#11
Odie Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: The WATER BABY! Posts: 7,040	ahahaha sooooooooo goood!!!! __________________ Odie [email protected] Are you Mobile???? MMACanada ICQ # 166208354 See Who I Am At AdultWhosWho.com!

10-05-2011, 12:24 PM	#12
Raja Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Santa Margarita Posts: 1,094	Makes me almost miss home... __________________ Skype: hollywoodraja

10-05-2011, 12:57 PM	#15
the Shemp congrats to the winners Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Echo Beach Posts: 10,891	brings back memories of living in ottawa, edmonton and halifax ... __________________ i use Vacares...so should you Submit your picture galleries to my site...Outlaw TGP

10-05-2011, 12:58 PM	#16
sperbonzo I'd rather be on my boat. Industry Role: Join Date: May 2003 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 9,743	If you look through the fridge to find maple syrup to put on your hawaiian pizza... which you then eat with a knife and fork.... You must be a Canadian. . __________________ Michael Sperber / Acella Financial LLC/ Online Payment Processing [email protected] / http://Acellafinancial.com/ ICQ 177961090 / Tel +1 909 NET BILL / Skype msperber

10-05-2011, 01:39 PM	#17
blackmonsters Making PHP work Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: 🌎🌅🌈🌇 Posts: 20,227	If you are mad about not getting ketchup with your french fries, then you don't live in Canada. You're visiting from America. __________________ Make Money with Porn

10-05-2011, 02:22 PM	#18
Sunny Day Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 1,406	Canadians are lost Kansasans Hate to say this, but there are places in Kansas & Missouri like this If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, You may live in Canada . MORE JUST NOVEMBER-MARCH If you measure distance in hours, You may live in Canada . THE 8 HOUR DRIVE FROM KC TO DENVER, JUST TO GO TO MOUNTAINS If you know several people Who have hit a deer more than once, You may live in Canada .. MY FRONT YARD If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' In the same day and back again, You may live in Canada .. HAD A TRAILER AND WORKED NIGHTS. I COULD ONLY GET TO SLEEP WITH THE HEAT & ELECTRIC BLANKET ON AT 8 AM, BY NOON THE A/C HAD TO KICK ON TO PREVENT IT GETTING TO 150 F If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow During a raging blizzard without flinching, You may live in Canada . DAMN COMBINES DON'T HAVE SPEEDOMETERS. WHO KNOWS HOW FAST WE'RE GOING. If you install security lights on your house and garage, But leave both unlocked, You may live in Canada . GIRLFRIEND LEAVES FRONT DOOR OPEN ALL NIGHT FOR 'AIR FLOW.' COME ON IN MR. MANSON. If you carry jumper cables in your car And your wife knows how to use them, You may live in Canada . HER NEXT PROJECT IS REPLACING VALVE COER GASKETS. TOLD HER THE CAR SMELLED OF OIL THE PAST FEW MONTHS. IIf the speed limit on the highway is 80 km -- You're going 95 and everybody is passing you, You may live in Canada . MY MOTHER BITCHES ABOUT PEOPLE PASSING HER. WHEN SHE'S 15 MPH OVER THE SPEED LIMIT If driving is better in the winter Because the potholes are filled with snow, You may live in Canada .. HERE, THE POLITICIANS GIVE SEMINARS TO CHICAGO & NYC POLITICIANS, ON HOW TO STEAL MONEY & GET THE 'PEOPLE' TO LOVE YOU AND KEEP REELECTING YOU. If you know all 4 seasons: Almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, You may live in Canada . THANK GOD WE HAVE 4 SEASONS. AS FOR ROAD CONSTRUCTION, DIDN'T ADAM HAVE TROUBLE WITH THAT AND IN THE YEAR 2525, THERE WILL STILL BE ROAD CONSTRICTION IN THIS TOWN. If you have more miles On your snow blower than your car, You may live in Canada . If you find -2 degrees 'a little chilly', You may live in Canada . GETTING OLD. ANYTHING UNDER 90 F IS FUCKING COLD If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your friends, you definitely are Canadian and proud to be. HEY, I LOVE RED/GREEN. JUST CAN'T BELIEVE HE WASN'T FROM KANSAS.

10-05-2011, 03:40 PM	#20
GTS Mark Formerly known as DH! :) Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 20,911	Lol spot On!!! __________________ Looking For Gay, Dating, Mobile, Banner, Hardlinks, IM Ads Or Popunder Traffic? ICQ 5191566 / E-mail: [email protected] Follow Us On Twitter. Also Sign Up For Our Newsletter For Updated Weekly Traffic Inventory