Women are fucking amazing and men should never be in a kitchen unless they're fucking women in there - GoFuckYourself.com

MrMaxwell · 12-30-2012, 07:24 AM

I'm awake, alone, and thought to myself.. well, I'm going to eat a huge salad and watch my favorite program.

So I'm in there and I get out this huge bowl and find some cheese.. I manage to get it unwrapped and realize that I have no idea of how to find a cheese grater. Ten minutes and some cursing later, I have some shredded cheese. Great. Now I'm slicing a tomato and I decide to be innovative and grate a tomato. Forget it, that didn't fucking work. So now I've sliced the tomato into chunks of tomato with the knife. Done. Open up a bag of salad and whatever else and put it in the bowl. Add the cheese. Try to mix it up- mixing is impossible. Great. Fuck it. Add tomatoes and dressing. Try mixing, again. Imfuckingpossible. Get second bowl. Mixing is still impossible because everything keps flopping out the sides of the bowl, again, even though it's half empty.

Well. Everything is a mess now. But. I have a HUGE salad. And I'm going to watch my program. I'm never going into the kitchen, again.

Oracle Porn · 12-30-2012, 07:28 AM

you sound retarded, couldn't even make your own salad from a bag.

Coup · 12-30-2012, 07:29 AM

Sorry to hear that you're literally a child.

Phoenix · 12-30-2012, 07:31 AM

Confessing to not being able to make a salad? Take a cooking class...meet some girl there who also can't cook.

DamianJ · 12-30-2012, 07:32 AM

Best-In-BC · 12-30-2012, 07:44 AM

lol, funny thing is all the best cooks in the world are men :D

mineistaken · 12-30-2012, 07:45 AM

you have issues

tony286 · 12-30-2012, 08:31 AM

Thats why the bulk of the greatest chefs are men

CyberHustler · 12-30-2012, 08:34 AM

Don't feel so bad, I had to finally learn how to cook 6 months ago... first time in my life not having a woman in my kitchen anymore. Got married young and went from mommy to wife.

Sly · 12-30-2012, 08:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Best-In-BC

lol, funny thing is all the best cooks in the world are men :D

Almost every guy I know can cook, enjoys it, and has a specialty.

eroticsexxx · 12-30-2012, 08:35 AM

i LOL'd

Quote:

Originally Posted by DamianJ

SpicyM · 12-30-2012, 08:59 AM

Salad is gay anyway..

Best-In-BC · 12-30-2012, 09:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sly

Almost every guy I know can cook, enjoys it, and has a specialty.

Yep, Mines Steak, I can BBQ a mean Steak with my own maranade, I can thk my mom for the awesome recipe . Ive made a few unreal pork ribs in my day but can never replicate my experimental recipe.

ottopottomouse · 12-30-2012, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DamianJ

cthulhu_waves · 12-30-2012, 09:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrMaxwell

I'm awake, alone, and thought to myself.. well, I'm going to eat a huge salad and watch my favorite program.

So I'm in there and I get out this huge bowl and find some cheese.. I manage to get it unwrapped and realize that I have no idea of how to find a cheese grater. Ten minutes and some cursing later, I have some shredded cheese. Great. Now I'm slicing a tomato and I decide to be innovative and grate a tomato. Forget it, that didn't fucking work. So now I've sliced the tomato into chunks of tomato with the knife. Done. Open up a bag of salad and whatever else and put it in the bowl. Add the cheese. Try to mix it up- mixing is impossible. Great. Fuck it. Add tomatoes and dressing. Try mixing, again. Imfuckingpossible. Get second bowl. Mixing is still impossible because everything keps flopping out the sides of the bowl, again, even though it's half empty.

Well. Everything is a mess now. But. I have a HUGE salad. And I'm going to watch my program. I'm never going into the kitchen, again.

And I thought you were going to serve me Spanakopita and involtini tonight. Damn.

epitome · 12-30-2012, 10:01 AM

Do some work and get your own place rather than being relying on others and you will know where your own cheese grater is.

SilentKnight · 12-30-2012, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrMaxwell

I'm awake, alone, and thought to myself.. well, I'm going to eat a huge salad and watch my favorite program.

So I'm in there and I get out this huge bowl and find some cheese.. I manage to get it unwrapped and realize that I have no idea of how to find a cheese grater. Ten minutes and some cursing later, I have some shredded cheese. Great. Now I'm slicing a tomato and I decide to be innovative and grate a tomato. Forget it, that didn't fucking work. So now I've sliced the tomato into chunks of tomato with the knife. Done. Open up a bag of salad and whatever else and put it in the bowl. Add the cheese. Try to mix it up- mixing is impossible. Great. Fuck it. Add tomatoes and dressing. Try mixing, again. Imfuckingpossible. Get second bowl. Mixing is still impossible because everything keps flopping out the sides of the bowl, again, even though it's half empty.

Well. Everything is a mess now. But. I have a HUGE salad. And I'm going to watch my program. I'm never going into the kitchen, again.

L-Pink · 12-30-2012, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DamianJ

waltgator · 12-30-2012, 03:22 PM

what i want...

pornsprite · 12-30-2012, 03:27 PM

I can make a few things in the kitchen like omelettes/pancakes for the kids in morning and I can prepare steaks on the grill and barbecue on the pit but I don't consider myself a cook because I cannot create meals like a thanksgiving diner.

If you cannot create a good well tasting well balanced holiday meal for a a family then you really can't cook you may have mastered a part of cooking. That's like taking a naked picture of you having sex and then claiming you are a porn star.

But you MrMaxwell should be able to make a salad.

Dvae · 12-30-2012, 03:29 PM

As long as you didn't cut your fingers with the knife or the cheese grater, consider it a success. Although have to question why you would buy salad in a bag. Buy each individual item and make it all from scratch. It's the only way to go.

Killswitch · 12-30-2012, 03:32 PM

MrMaxwell === New JohnnyClips?

georgeyw · 12-30-2012, 03:53 PM

How can you not make a salad?

Grating a tomato? Are you retarded? I mean seriously, have you even handled a tomato before? Do you understand the concept of grating?

Mutt · 12-30-2012, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Killswitch

MrMaxwell === New JohnnyClips?

there are people who think they are the same person. i don't but there are similarties in writing style and dimwittedness that make you wonder.

onwebcam · 12-30-2012, 04:03 PM

So what you're saying is, you want someone to toss your salad?

arock10 · 12-30-2012, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pornsprite

I can make a few things in the kitchen like omelettes/pancakes for the kids in morning and I can prepare steaks on the grill and barbecue on the pit but I don't consider myself a cook because I cannot create meals like a thanksgiving diner.

If you cannot create a good well tasting well balanced holiday meal for a a family then you really can't cook you may have mastered a part of cooking. That's like taking a naked picture of you having sex and then claiming you are a porn star.

But you MrMaxwell should be able to make a salad.

Actually, thanksgiving dinner is pretty easy to make. When dealing with meals that have multiple dishes the hardest part is getting all the timing right, not any sort of technique.

myjah · 12-30-2012, 04:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Best-In-BC

lol, funny thing is all the best cooks in the world are men :D

PUH LEASE...women convinced men to cook so they would help out and now men are 'all' the best cooks. too funny!

StinkyPink · 12-30-2012, 04:30 PM

You should TOSS salad, not MIX it...

Penny24Seven · 12-30-2012, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Killswitch

MrMaxwell === New JohnnyClips?

a lot alike but in 2005 johnnyclips was still playing with his J.I.Joes in 3rd grade

Sly · 12-30-2012, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pornsprite

I can make a few things in the kitchen like omelettes/pancakes for the kids in morning and I can prepare steaks on the grill and barbecue on the pit but I don't consider myself a cook because I cannot create meals like a thanksgiving diner.

If you cannot create a good well tasting well balanced holiday meal for a a family then you really can't cook you may have mastered a part of cooking. That's like taking a naked picture of you having sex and then claiming you are a porn star.

But you MrMaxwell should be able to make a salad.

That's a pretty weird comparison. I know plenty of people that attempt to make a Thanksgiving dinner and it's absolutely terrible, I would not consider them good cooks just because they can make a Thanksgiving dinner. All you need to do to make a Thanksgiving dinner is open up a book and follow directions.

Don't sell yourself short, I'm sure you would be able to cook a nice Thanksgiving dinner no problem based on what you say you can cook.

Spunky · 12-30-2012, 05:45 PM

I enjoy cooking for myself,although some other people might not like it

MrMaxwell · 12-30-2012, 06:39 PM

I can grill a steak so well it'll make your mouth water off of you
That's what I have for dinner most nights.. a 1.5-2.5lb flat iron steak

Nookster · 12-30-2012, 06:43 PM

You should probably work on your "cooking" skills. Women like men who can cook. At least learn to BBQ, comon...what kind of man are you?

pornmasta · 12-30-2012, 07:07 PM

milk and burger = ok !

MrMaxwell · 01-01-2013, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nookster

You should probably work on your "cooking" skills. Women like men who can cook. At least learn to BBQ, comon...what kind of man are you?

The women who like men who can cook and do dishes and vacuum and do laundry are not my kind of women at all

AnimeFevers · 01-01-2013, 03:50 PM

You are one of these -

John-ACWM · 01-02-2013, 07:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DamianJ

thanks for the laughs!

PR_Glen · 01-02-2013, 07:17 AM

cooking can be a pretty therapeutic tool I find. So much so that it's become one of my favourite hobbies. I would check out the food network, it is full of shows that specialize in quick and easy meals that sound fancy but only take 5 mins.

example,

next time, take those same ingredients; toast some bread, slice your tomato as thick as you like, a few leafy parts of the lettuce and grab yourself some smoked bacon from a local butcher or market (SO much better than the packaged stuff, and normally cheaper! and you can get them to slice it as thick or thin as you prefer) Pan fry that up quick until its a bit crispy, throw that all on the toast with a bit of salt pepper and some mayo and you got one killer blt.

I don't eat bread much at all these days so I would just cut up a few extra pieces of lettuce and use that as the bun instead, which works perfectly well.

J. Falcon · 01-02-2013, 07:17 AM

12-30-2012, 07:24 AM	#1
MrMaxwell Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 10,057	Women are fucking amazing and men should never be in a kitchen unless they're fucking women in there I'm awake, alone, and thought to myself.. well, I'm going to eat a huge salad and watch my favorite program. So I'm in there and I get out this huge bowl and find some cheese.. I manage to get it unwrapped and realize that I have no idea of how to find a cheese grater. Ten minutes and some cursing later, I have some shredded cheese. Great. Now I'm slicing a tomato and I decide to be innovative and grate a tomato. Forget it, that didn't fucking work. So now I've sliced the tomato into chunks of tomato with the knife. Done. Open up a bag of salad and whatever else and put it in the bowl. Add the cheese. Try to mix it up- mixing is impossible. Great. Fuck it. Add tomatoes and dressing. Try mixing, again. Imfuckingpossible. Get second bowl. Mixing is still impossible because everything keps flopping out the sides of the bowl, again, even though it's half empty. Well. Everything is a mess now. But. I have a HUGE salad. And I'm going to watch my program. I'm never going into the kitchen, again.

12-30-2012, 07:28 AM	#2
Oracle Porn Affiliate Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Icq: 94-399-723 Posts: 24,432	you sound retarded, couldn't even make your own salad from a bag. __________________

12-30-2012, 07:31 AM	#4
Phoenix BACON BACON BACON Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Poems everybody, the laddie fancies himself a poet Posts: 35,457	Confessing to not being able to make a salad? Take a cooking class...meet some girl there who also can't cook. __________________ Skype Phoenixskype1 Telegram PhoenixBrad https://quantads.io

12-30-2012, 07:44 AM	#6
Best-In-BC Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Posts: 9,506	lol, funny thing is all the best cooks in the world are men :D __________________ Vacares - Web Hosting, Domains, O365, Security & More Unparked domains burning a hole in your pocket? 5 Simple Ways to Make Easy $$$ from Unused Domains

12-30-2012, 03:22 PM	#19
waltgator Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2011 Location: tweak-ville, U.S.A. Posts: 1,369	what i want... __________________ http://behindtheclit.com ICQ 448280936 Last edited by waltgator; 12-30-2012 at 03:23 PM..

12-30-2012, 07:29 AM	#3
Coup 🚨 PBBC International 🚨 Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: /👁\ Posts: 9,932	Sorry to hear that you're literally a child.

12-30-2012, 07:32 AM	#5
DamianJ Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: A magical land Posts: 15,808

12-30-2012, 07:45 AM	#7
mineistaken See signature :) Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: ICQ 363 097 773 Posts: 29,656	you have issues

12-30-2012, 08:31 AM	#8
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	Thats why the bulk of the greatest chefs are men

12-30-2012, 08:34 AM	#9
CyberHustler So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 25,214	Don't feel so bad, I had to finally learn how to cook 6 months ago... first time in my life not having a woman in my kitchen anymore. Got married young and went from mommy to wife.

12-30-2012, 08:59 AM	#12
SpicyM Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 4,534	Salad is gay anyway..

12-30-2012, 10:01 AM	#16
epitome So Fucking Lame Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: St. Petersburg, FL Posts: 12,158	Do some work and get your own place rather than being relying on others and you will know where your own cheese grater is.

12-30-2012, 03:27 PM	#20
pornsprite Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 1,643	I can make a few things in the kitchen like omelettes/pancakes for the kids in morning and I can prepare steaks on the grill and barbecue on the pit but I don't consider myself a cook because I cannot create meals like a thanksgiving diner. If you cannot create a good well tasting well balanced holiday meal for a a family then you really can't cook you may have mastered a part of cooking. That's like taking a naked picture of you having sex and then claiming you are a porn star. But you MrMaxwell should be able to make a salad. __________________ Go Fuck Yourself

12-30-2012, 03:29 PM	#21
Dvae Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: US Posts: 5,326	As long as you didn't cut your fingers with the knife or the cheese grater, consider it a success. Although have to question why you would buy salad in a bag. Buy each individual item and make it all from scratch. It's the only way to go. __________________ . . Arguing with a troll is a lot like wrestling in the mud with a pig, after a couple of hours you realize the pig likes it.

12-30-2012, 03:32 PM	#22
Killswitch 👏 REVOLUTIONARY 👏 Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2012 Posts: 2,304	MrMaxwell === New JohnnyClips? __________________

12-30-2012, 03:53 PM	#23
georgeyw 58008 53773 Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Australia Posts: 9,864	How can you not make a salad? Grating a tomato? Are you retarded? I mean seriously, have you even handled a tomato before? Do you understand the concept of grating? __________________ TripleXPrint on Megan Fox "I would STILL suck her pussy until her face caved in. And then blow her up and do it again!"

12-30-2012, 04:03 PM	#25
onwebcam Fake Nick 1.0 Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: Rent free, your head Posts: 27,652	So what you're saying is, you want someone to toss your salad? __________________ PLEASE WAIT WHILE BIDEN ADMIN UNINSTALLS ITSELF..... ██████████████████▒ 99.5% complete.

12-30-2012, 04:30 PM	#28
StinkyPink It's all goooood. Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: The Hoe Stroll Posts: 1,591	You should TOSS salad, not MIX it...

12-30-2012, 05:45 PM	#31
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,919	I enjoy cooking for myself,although some other people might not like it __________________ *Skype : Spunky GFY*

12-30-2012, 06:39 PM	#32
MrMaxwell Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 10,057	I can grill a steak so well it'll make your mouth water off of you That's what I have for dinner most nights.. a 1.5-2.5lb flat iron steak

12-30-2012, 06:43 PM	#33
Nookster Confirmed IT Professional Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Hollywood, CA Posts: 3,744	You should probably work on your "cooking" skills. Women like men who can cook. At least learn to BBQ, comon...what kind of man are you? __________________ The Best Affiliate Software, Ever.

12-30-2012, 07:07 PM	#34
pornmasta Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 18,946	milk and burger = ok !

01-01-2013, 03:50 PM	#36
AnimeFevers ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪ ▄ █ ▄ █ ▄ ▄ █ ▄ █ Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Tell your mom, money is on the fridge Posts: 3,558	You are one of these - __________________ icq - 556766871 email - animefevers(AT)hotmail(DOT)co(DOT)uk

01-02-2013, 07:17 AM	#38
PR_Glen Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Canada Posts: 9,058	cooking can be a pretty therapeutic tool I find. So much so that it's become one of my favourite hobbies. I would check out the food network, it is full of shows that specialize in quick and easy meals that sound fancy but only take 5 mins. example, next time, take those same ingredients; toast some bread, slice your tomato as thick as you like, a few leafy parts of the lettuce and grab yourself some smoked bacon from a local butcher or market (SO much better than the packaged stuff, and normally cheaper! and you can get them to slice it as thick or thin as you prefer) Pan fry that up quick until its a bit crispy, throw that all on the toast with a bit of salt pepper and some mayo and you got one killer blt. I don't eat bread much at all these days so I would just cut up a few extra pieces of lettuce and use that as the bun instead, which works perfectly well. __________________ webmaster at pimproll dot com

01-02-2013, 07:17 AM	#39
J. Falcon www.AdultCopywriters.com Industry Role: Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 31,562	__________________ Adult Copywriters SEO Content for Porn Sites sales at adultcopywriters dot com