StinkyPink

This is really hard for me to put up on an adult forum, but in many ways this is my "office" and you folks are my "co-workers".

Last Sunday my mother passed and my brother would like to bury her, as it was her last wishes made just the day before she went.

She had beat cancer once and then one day she had a lump in her throat. She was unable to get treatment soon enough and started to lose weight. By the time she made it to see her doctor she was too small to do biopsy. We admitted her into a nursing home so she could get the nutrition she needed to gain weight so they could do the biopsy and see if the cancer had returned. She was going into her 4th week at the home.

At this point she was considered a hospice patient because they could not give her any more tests or feeding tubes etc. due to her rapidly decreasing weight and size. The week before her death she lost 1 cm around her arms. We knew this was the beginning to an end. We met with the funeral director Saturday, she was awake and coherent, able to answer some of his questions and we even shared a laugh or two. Up until this point we spoke about cremation and the spreading of her ashes. However she had stated to the funeral director and my brother, that she wanted to be buried with her mother. The next day, Sunday, we got a call that she went from that state to a motionless unresponsive state.

All friends and family that was not a flight away was by her bedside for several hours as she lay their breathing, barely. Unable to speak, though she tried, and we all tried to make out her words with no luck. After several hours she seemed to be in a constant state so we slowly dispersed to go home and feed our kids and rest a bit before going back to see her. None of us knew that would be the last visit. Once all of us had left, we were no more than 3-5 minutes away and we got the call to come back.

She was gone.

My brothers and I all work, however we live from paycheck to paycheck. We have had some support though for the most part we have been left to take care of her on our own. We have been able to raise a bit of money, old friends and our own paychecks. I am just out of ideas and options. We were all declined for loans, as we have never really had credit or applied for any kind of credit.

I made a gofundme and shared it with my friends and family via facebook. Many have chosen to make small cash donations as they are not much into online transactions. These are the same family that asks me how I make money online. Like its some sort of mystery. Websites build themselves I suppose and nobody with a credit card and some sense would ever purchase online apparently.

I am reaching out. I hate asking complete strangers (to her) for help but I have ran out of resources. I have asked for help from my fathers (who had passed when I was 2) family and I am heartbroken to find out that some sort of animosity between them has made this into some kind of pissing match. My brothers don't even know their fathers family as my mother raised the 3 of us on her own.

The only reason I am asking here is because I know many others here have faced similar situations when laying a loved one to rest. I also know that many many people are either affected personally or through a family member, by the effects of cancer.

Additionally I am leaving the memorial fund open after we reach our goal. She said to the funeral director that any memorials left in her name be paid out to the American Cancer Society. This is what I plan to do with the gofundme. Every year at the time of her passing we will share her memorial to collect for cancer patients.

Thank you greatly. This is truly a confusing time for us all.
Please share or donate and thank you so kindly. Any amount is truly appreciated.

Julie "Jules" Cline Memorial by Arthur Crooks - GoFundMe

Mediamix

Good luck finding money here... You'll need it.

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Sly

I'm sorry for your loss. Best wishes.

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SilentKnight

My condolences.

aka123

No free burials in USA (if dead person is broke)?

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SilentKnight

If you hook up with a serial killer, sure.

But it's usually just a shallow grave. Nothin' elaborate.

StinkyPink

Unfortunately not aka... even the cremation option is $4500. I can live with that if we reach that amount (not too far from it) however my brother is set on getting her in the ground with her mother. He says he cant live with himself if he can't. I don't think we can deal with another death. I really wish he wouldnt talk that way but we are all emotional.

Adraco

Sorry for your loss.

After people got burned this last Christmas in the "Yngwie-Cancer-Scam" I think it will be hard to raise money here again.

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AdultKing

Sorry for your loss - but all I can say is, oh no not another one.

https://gfy.com/fucking-around-and-pr...lp-urgent.html

https://gfy.com/fucking-around-and-pr...lp-please.html

StinkyPink

Thank you all for your support. Additionally you can contact Contact Information | Hollenbeck-Cahill Funeral Homes Bradford, PA for confirmation or to make a direct donation.

I was unaware of any scam recently on GFY. Sad that one bad apple shall ruin it for everyone.

Thanks again for the kind words.

Another reason I came to GFY was because I needed an outlet besides family and facebook to just let all that out.

It truly upsets me that my fathers family hasn't attempted to even help. It does not surprise me nor do I blame them really. I just thought they were better than that.

Best-In-BC

sry for you lost

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pr0phet

Nevermind

j3rkules

My condolences.

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SilentKnight

GFY is an orchard of bad apples.

Not to say there aren't good ppl on here - but GFY has always had a history of being a scammer magnet.

StinkyPink

It's all part of being popular I guess.

It also doesn't help that the funeral home won't even write a proper obituary until they get paid I guess. Even though we have already handed them about 2k personally.

As I said I was 2 years old when my father passed so this is really my first time being involved with burial services and it is a stressful and mindfucking experience to say the least.

CurrentlySober

Yeah, what these two said...

Sorry for your loss -Genuinely - But GFY isn't the best place to be asking

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StinkyPink

Thanks CS

I realize this, and it was my last resort. I have had the fund going almost a week and we are coming to a deadline. Last resort really as it took everything I had to even post it here for obvious reasons. Running out of options I guess.

Spunky

My condolences on your loss

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L-Pink

Get basic life/family information to your local newspaper they will write an obituary for you. Or just do it yourself instead.

baddog

Sorry about your loss StinkyPink; if you wish, I will write the obit for you. PM me if interested.

xXXtesy10

jesus christ wtf is this charity site? her name tawnee too? unreal

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BlackCrayon

I am very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine losing a parent though its something we'll all have to go through at some point. my girlfriend lost her mom last year and that was rough.

however what is up with people resorting to crowdfunding whenever someone dies or something bad happens? is this the new normal?

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StinkyPink

Thanks Baddog. I appreciate the offer. My brother is basically in charge of all this. I am trying to do what I can to reduce all the stress on him. I was merely stating that without an obituary written, it does help put skepticism into the minds of those that question the integrity of the post.
Thanks. It has been rough. As for the "crowdfunding" idea, at least for me... It was started as a way to reach out to friends and family that are not from the area and want to show support. This is one of the reasons I get frustrated because I have a large family and not many have shown support, for whatever reasons.

Thank you for the condolences.

For me, working online, I find myself with more of an online presence with online co workers and friends. It is my community. Had I worked in a brick and mortar business perhaps I would pass a collection plate for those that would like to contribute to her burial. It is a great way to show support for those we love. So as not to lay one giant burden on just one person. We all come together and do what we can to lessen the burden on those grieving.

Perhaps many folks here do not know nor have ever met her. Though they may have met me or done business with me.

Not asking for charity so much as help to not let this all come down on my brother. I have done what I can financially and this is just one more thing I can do to help.

Not proud to bring it to GFY. I am not ashamed either. It's just a tad awkward being adult, though she was fully aware of what I do for a living and has been supportive of that. so...

TTI-Rich

waaa waaa We've all got problems. Let the govt. give her a pauper's burial. Fucking hell..

OneHungLo

crowdfunding for a funeral? Nobody here knew your mother...we all have buried loved ones and managed to pull the funds to do so. Begging on here is low class.

Milfer

If you had not written GFY your "Office" and it's member your "Co-workers" I might donate

Go Fuck Me!

beerptrol

Might have been better off offering to do odd jobs/services to help pay for it!

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xXXtesy10

lowest of low man.. fucking porn board. truly unreal.

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Ferus

Just talked to Hollenbeck Cahill Funeral Home, and they could not confirm any involvement. That is all I need to know.

bushwacker

Opt!musPr!me

Sorry for your loss I think another GFY Member lost his mother not so long ago

RyuLion

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Relentless

4500 is an absurd price for cremation. Call other funeral parlors and you will find one does it for a lot less. I've had it done for around $1,200 in New York at a nice facility. If you lower your cost, you may already have enough.

My condolences on your loss...

Harmon

No Obituary... therefore not searchable online.

Something stinks here, and although it could be my ass, I'm doubting it.

This reeks of SCAM.

You don't need a funeral home to write an obituary. At least do some research before you spit out bullshit.

GG OP. Nope, nope and nope.

https://www.funerals.org/frequently-...sked-questions

Fucking idiot.

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MiamiBoyz

Nothing in the "land of the free" is actually free.

SilentKnight

Hmm...interesting.

SBJ

so fucking sad! But yeah from the start I thought $4,500 to be cremated was BS

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j3rkules

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sarettah

TANSTAAFL

.

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AdultKing

He doesn't want the money for a cremation, he wants it for a burial.

Even so, where does the concept of personal responsibility come into this ? If his mother accrued no savings or assets and his family is broke then quite literally beggars can't be choosers.

OneHungLo

Looks like we have yngwie v.20.

SBJ

um read his 2nd post to this thread

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_Richard_

sorry for your loss

MrBottomTooth

Please, not another donation scam? Hopefully he hasn't bailed on the thread already.

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AdultKing

I missed that. Still my point stands, where's the personal responsibility in all of this.

If his mother hadn't accumulated any assets or savings in her lifetime and his family is broke then beggars can't be choosers.

He talks about making money online, where is this money now ? Maybe if he had a real job he'd be able to afford a cremation at least.

Don't they have pauper funerals in the USA ? We have them here.

StinkyPink

I call bullshit or they may not feel they are allowed to release that info which I would not understand either. Fuck off. Thank you.

j3rkules

Fair enough.

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StinkyPink

Thank you. She did put me in charge of life insurance, after her first bout with cancer and nobody wanted to insure her due to the cancer.
Thank you. I know this as well. And yes we would have the money already if it were this low. My mother put my brother in charge of all of this. We met with the funeral director the day before she passed, not even knowing it would be the last time we really heard her voice. At first before she was put into the nursing home we all spoke about cremation. I was and am fully prepared to cremate her, only for financial reason.

That day with the funeral director, she said she wanted to be laid to rest with her mother. Why $4500? I don't know, so many fees such as removal of the body, $80 in there just for the newspaper. I dont even know. We got quoted 3 options and just under $4500 was the lowest offer after all is said and done. The next offer was cremation with services at just under $5500, and finally just under $7500 for full burial and services. But it is out of my hands. I am simply trying to help my brother cause as I said above he is taking this harder than I and he wants to get enough to give her what she wanted. I am simply trying to help him reach his goal.

Ok bro. We did call around but we hadn't much time. We got the "estimated" quotes on saturday, she died on sunday. The funeral director we spoke with had already removed the body. My brother chose him because that is who my mother wanted I guess I don't really know. It likely is a more expensive option, but then we are a small town and not a shit ton of funeral homes to chose from.

As I said, I could be ok with cremation as I just don't want any of us in debt over this as we all are already. We gathered our weekly incomes to get started, then we were reaching out to family and friends. Not much happening there. I could go into details of family judgment and feuding and whatnot... which is always fun to deal with when you are grieving. But really none of that is important. After seeing how this all unfolded. I decided to reach out to my community, my online community where I spend my days while I am not at the local park or tavern... see.. this is where I live. Online.

Still here, but despite what many of you think, this is real. I have feelings and while I knew that a few would set my ass on fire I also had hoped that would come with a few donations as well. Nope, mostly fire, so I backed off a bit. I am having a rough time still and some comments can be hard to swallow. I pointed it out in the beginning that I was unsure of posting. I know people see this as just another burial, but many have lost loved ones to cancer, and they tend to help one another out.

StinkyPink

Additionally, I would like to ask...

Did you call and say something along the lines of "I saw a post in an online forum with a gofundme campaign and was wondering if it was a scam" and the reply would likely be of that which you posted. "We are sorry but we have no involvement in that."

Or...

Did you call and say "I am a concerned friend or coworker of a family member to someone that may be at rest there awaiting burial, I am considering making a donation. Do you have the body of Julie Cline"

Perhaps you might have gotten a different reply.

Just saying, it could be the question you asked.

bushwacker