11 Tips On Spotting Russian/Baltic Porn...

[Greg B]

1.) Makeup. For some reason the same people who applied theatrical makeup in the 1920s are still alive and well and finding employment in the former Soviet Block.

2.) Zits. Just gotta have those guys covered ass to elbows in pimples.

3.) Women's hairstyles. Looking at Russian porn is like trying to figure out if Nick At Nite has gone into the porn industry.

4.) Suntans. It's more rare to see a suntan in a Russian porn vid than seeing a black guy on 'The Jetsons'.

5.) Black guys. Nope. None in Russian porn. Too cold up there I guess.

6.) Messy kitchens. For some reason it must be a turn on to have sex in a messy kitchen in Russia.

7.) Weird electrical outlets. Gotta have em'. It ain't good ol' Russian porn unless there's a rack of them 3 prong weird outlets dominating the shot.

8.) Strange product placement. Sure as heck there'll be bottles of beverages with writing only the Rosetta Stone could decipher as well as boxes of oats and cereals no kid in the western hemisphere would eat because the cartoon characters on the box covers look like they just escaped a gulag.

9.) Ugly. Now I'm not saying all Russian women are homely, they're not. Yet for some reason you can bet your bottom dollar that if the chick in the vid is uglier than dog-chawed cat's ass, it's a Russian porn shoot.

10.) Fashion. Dude, porkin' that chick with pro keds on and one of them old 'ZOOM' tv show polo shirts from 'Big Ben' department stores is soooo 1970s. If the Salvation Army, Red Cross and U.N. charity air drops knew the clothes they sent end up in porn shoots in Russia, they'd go postal.

11.) No Ron Jeremy. I think Stalin or Lenin killed everybody who looks like Ron Jeremy. Besides, Jeremy's got a tan so he'd be kicked out anyway.

[alias]

haha

[alias]

my favorite: If the Salvation Army, Red Cross and U.N. charity air drops knew the clothes they sent end up in porn shoots in Russia, they'd go postal.

[Triple 6]

eyebrows: usually have big untweaked bushes you can build a birds nest from

[Triple 6]

red lipstick: most common with the bushy brow bitches

[alias]

torn up: c u n t s & asses that have taken a pounding [or 5000]

[roly]

Originally posted by Triple 6
usually have big untweaked bushes you can build a birds nest from

and bushy eyebrows too

[SABAI]

western hemisphere

dude there are only north and south hemisphere lol

[DarkJedi]

Originally posted by SABAI
western hemisphere

dude there are only north and south hemisphere lol

[Greg B]

Originally posted by SABAI
western hemisphere

dude there are only north and south hemisphere lol

Dude according to Webster's Dictionary:

Main Entry: western hemisphere
Function: noun
Usage: often capitalized W&H
Date: 1624
: the half of the earth comprising No. and So. America and surrounding waters

[SABAI]

well maybe webster's dictionary felt that they should add it as too many clueless people were using this expression,
but i assure you that eastern or western hemisphere isn't a correct statement

[SABAI]

anyway , beyond that i liked your original post, it was a good laugh

[stevecore]

she's probably also got your CC number.

[loverboy]

lol

messy kitchens and hairstyles are the main culprit.

[eldominik]

You have right in these words. I don`t watched too much new russian porn flicks, but girls in that movies what I saw looked bad.
And that cheap kitchen climate kills everything.

[ldinternet]

Nothing wrong with unusual plug sockets...


<img src="http://www.hotlinkpro.com/temp/plugsocket.jpg">

[UnseenWorld]

Originally posted by SABAI
western hemisphere

dude there are only north and south hemisphere lol

Have they stopped teaching Geography in high school where you grew up, or were you cutting so many classes to smoke your weed that you have never heard that the US is in the West and the Asian countries are in the East?

Russia is so broad that part of it is in the West and part of it is in the East.

[UnseenWorld]

What about the fact that there are lots of Russian sites that seem to have a bottomless supply of 18+ girls (if their 2257 notices are to be believed) who look like they belong in sixth grade?

[Fletch XXX]

Lets ask again.

Why do you post that odd sized banner everytime you start a thread?

[sexeducation]

I got banned by Overture.com for banning email addresses that end in .RU from getting memberships with my website, and openly posting that on my website.

Their reply was "openly against groups of people" ...

I had just got fed up with the Russiona CP & beastiality email advertisements - sick and tired - so I banned all .RU email addresses to get the point across.

Another attempt ... that backfired ....lol

[x3guide]

* All furniture and decor in Russky porn must be either lime green or burnt orange, preferably of a flocked velvet fabric

* All male models must be wearing black or dark blue dress socks the entire time. They can be naked, but THE SOCKS MUST REMAIN ON

* Every table must have: 1) A filthy overflowing ashtray 2) A cracked coffe mug half-full of cold tea 3) 1/2 a bottle of either German Wine or some unknown liquer

[Madball]

God bless America for overweight tatooed sluts with fake tits...

[Adulter]

"I think Stalin or Lenin killed everybody who looks like Ron Jeremy."



Good one

[Greg B]

Originally posted by x3guide
* All furniture and decor in Russky porn must be either lime green or burnt orange, preferably of a flocked velvet fabric

* All male models must be wearing black or dark blue dress socks the entire time. They can be naked, but THE SOCKS MUST REMAIN ON

* Every table must have: 1) A filthy overflowing ashtray 2) A cracked coffe mug half-full of cold tea 3) 1/2 a bottle of either German Wine or some unknown liquer

Now you've got it!!!