Let me Steve all over you... - GoFuckYourself.com

SteveLightspeed · 08-28-2008, 02:49 PM

Let Me Steve All Over You

Today is my last day of ?Comedy School?. I really appreciate everything the teacher taught me. But I don?t think he was happy when I brought a sixpack of beer to class. I told him, ?Hey, I?m not trying to disrespect you, but TWO HOURS is a long time to ask me to stay sober!? Sitting in the front row of class and getting hammered was one of the last few things on my bucket list. I?ve dreamt about it since Jr High.

It turns out that he is a recovering alcoholic. I said ?Oh shit man, I?m sorry! I didn?t know.? I felt like an insensitive ass. So the next week I brought a bag of weed instead. He seemed better with that, so for graduation, I?m bringing an 8ball and three strippers!

They say the average man thinks about sex once every seven seconds. I call those men ?amateurs?. I actually worked for 10 years as a filthy pornographer. Oops, did I say ?filthy pornographer?? I meant to say ?FASHION PHOTOGRAPHER?!

Some people worry that producing porn in the US might get them unwanted attention from the government, the media, or radical religious groups. In fact, some people are so scared, they even hide the truth from their closest friends. But I for one am NOT AFRAID? to say that my name is John Doe, and I live at 123 Anystreet in Anytown USA!

Actually, in the porn business, I am known as ?Steve Lightspeed?. Except in the Philippines, where they called me ?Stee Rice-Pee?.

When I tell people I worked in the porn business, they immediately think I?m hanging out smoking cigars all day while horny naked girls lay around my pool waiting to have crazy sex with me. It?s really not like that. I don?t smoke CIGARS?

People ask me all the time, did you fuck your models? Well, yeah, I put their naked pictures all over the internet. THEY ARE FUCKED!

Actually, I never had sex with any of my models. There are good reasons I don?t have sex with 18 year old girls. Mostly, because they won?t LET me. Plus, a short dick, dirty underwear, and fear of AIDS keeps my pants ON.

I?m really a fairly conservative guy. I?ve been married to my lovely wife Shannon for 15 years. She?s in charge. I call her ?Shanra, Princess of Power!?

We recently just bought our dream home, but I thought the house was haunted. When I went to bed late one night, I heard a deep voice growling, ?GET OUT!? But it was just my wife. Whew!

My wife tries so hard to talk dirty during sex, but it just comes out in a blur of random dirty words, like ?Ohh, Yeah! Cock! Fuck! Cum! Lick! Pussy! Yeah Yeah Yeah!? I call it ?Pornstar Tourettes.?

Then she starts growling and making faces, ?GRRRR, ARRRRR, AHHHHHH!!!? I?m not sure if I should keep fucking her, or perform an exorcism! ?Say my name, SAY MY NAME!? ?Um, shanra??

My wife and I have so much in common; we frequently have the same thoughts at exactly the same time. For example, last night she said ?I think I?ll have a glass of wine.? I said ?That?s funny, I was just thinking about having a glass of wine, too.? Then she said ?Would you?d like to come to bed to fool around for a while?? I said ?That?s REALLY funny, I was just thinking about coming to bed to fool around for a while, too!? Then she said ?Give me a minute while I slip into my sexiest lingerie.? I said ?Holy shit, I was just thinking about slipping into your sexiest lingerie, TOO!?

My wife and I also have two beautiful children. I remember when my wife was in hard labor with my son, she was so doped up I knew she wouldn?t remember the experience. So I grabbed my video camera, and asked her how she was feeling. She apparently thought she had won an Academy Award or something. She said, ?I?d like to thank the hospital, my doctor, the fantastic nurses, and my wonderful husband, um, er, um? oh yeah, STEVE!

When my son was little, I think he picked up cursing from my wife. When he dropped his ice cream on the ground once, he shouted, ?FUCK!? I wanted to break him of that habit, so I told him that just earned him a 15 minute time out. He said ?I don?t want no FUCKING TIME OUT!? I didn?t really care about him cursing, I just wanted him to stop wasting all the fucking ice cream.

So when he turned eight he got his first computer. After he learned a little about the internet, he innocently typed in his name followed by ?.com? just to see what would happen. He came running to me, saying ?Daddy, I think I just found an ?inappropriate website?. Well, it was a softcore website, inappropriate, yes, but nothing too obscene. It?s just a good thing we didn?t name him ?College Fuck Fest?!

After that, I imagined the day when he is old enough that I will be able to show him the ropes of the porn biz. ?Ok, now SNORT THAT LINE, then FUCK THAT HOOKER!? That?s just a joke, don?t get upset. I?m just kidding. Everyone knows you can?t fuck hookers when you are coked out.

In the porn business, I?ve met a lot of women who love sex. But mostly, I?ve met a lot of women who love to get paid to pretend to love sex. Sorry to say guys, but it?s just not real. Girls Gone Wild?? Yeah right! They should call that shit ?Strippers on Vacation?.

I attended the big porn convention in Las Vegas. One night an ugly hooker came up to me and said, ?Do you need anything, Baby?? I said ?Oh yeah baby, I do need something!? She leaned in close, I whispered ?I need to know how to make an ugly hooker go away.?

We like to mess with new people working on their first porn photo shoot. One time I sent a guy to the store just to buy batteries, whip cream, some video tape, condoms, and a ping pong paddle. He called from the supermarket saying ?They don?t carry ping pong paddles!? I told him, ?I?ve bought them there before, tell the manager to look in the dildo aisle.?

I?ve been made to feel foolish too. I once paid $750 to go to the famous Playboy Mansion, only to stand around in the yard all night! I never even got NEAR the house. Now THAT is pimp! Nice work HEF! My new goal in life is to get some stupid asshole to pay $750 to stand around in MY yard.

I hoped to meet Hugh Hefner in person, but I heard that he charges an extra $10k to make a personal appearance at the Playboy Mansion parties. Now THAT is ULTRA PIMP. That fucker actually lives there. He gets paid to hang out IN HIS OWN YARD?

The biggest pimps on the internet now are the guys from Google. I love how ?Google? has now become an actual verb, like ?I Google?d your company?s name to get your phone number.? I?ve decided that my name should be a verb too. So ladies and gentleman, thank you for letting me Steve all over you. Now let me get you a towel.

MOxxx · 08-28-2008, 02:50 PM

sig spot, i will print what you said Steve and read it tonight

TurboAngel · 08-28-2008, 02:53 PM

I'm not going to read all that, can ya just give me a link to the drama?

MOxxx · 08-28-2008, 02:54 PM

I actually read it now, very funny.

Marcus Aurelius · 08-28-2008, 02:56 PM

I would have finished reading it but I got steve'd and some got in my eye so now I have to go buy visine.

Jon Clark - BANNED FOR LIFE · 08-28-2008, 02:57 PM

cliff notes...?

klaze · 08-28-2008, 02:57 PM

That was freakin awesome.

B2BwithJoeD · 08-28-2008, 02:57 PM

Let me Google CLASSIC LIGHTSPEED

CyberAgeGary · 08-28-2008, 02:59 PM

Great post Steve.

Now when I come back from my holiday trip, I will read the other 75% of it.. The first 25% was great....

Anyways, have a good weekend...

2012 · 08-28-2008, 03:00 PM

uck uck uck uck uck uck uck uck

Elli · 08-28-2008, 03:04 PM

"I hoped to meet Hugh Hefner in person, but I heard that he charges an extra $10k to make a personal appearance at the Playboy Mansion parties. Now THAT is ULTRA PIMP. That fucker actually lives there. He gets paid to hang out IN HIS OWN YARD?"

Now that is a damn good point! How many people get paid to show up at their own house?

pornguy · 08-28-2008, 03:05 PM

Not bad Litesnack. Not bad.

tranza · 08-28-2008, 03:10 PM

Cliff notes???

Jon Clark - BANNED FOR LIFE · 08-28-2008, 03:12 PM

That is a great act, would love to see you do it in person...

Eriic · 08-28-2008, 03:12 PM

It was not funny at all!

It was nasty, stupid and by far the most ignorant Bullshit I ever read.

You are a real piece of Shit!!!!

B O B · 08-28-2008, 03:13 PM

Steve will be performing live at TheAtlantaForum

hehehhehhee

Biggy · 08-28-2008, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tranza

Cliff notes???

Steve Rice-Pee.

Rochard · 08-28-2008, 03:14 PM

That is a seriously funny......

I've always loved your sense of humor!

Jon Clark - BANNED FOR LIFE · 08-28-2008, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tranza

Cliff notes???

Steve being funny

It is worth the read...

Marcus Aurelius · 08-28-2008, 03:16 PM

okay. I read it. pretty good Steve. when you hitting the club circuit?

SteveLightspeed · 08-28-2008, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MDCQ

okay. I read it. pretty good Steve. when you hitting the club circuit?

In 3 more weeks

Honez · 08-28-2008, 03:23 PM

Damn you Stee Rice-Pee! I am trying to be quiet while a shoot is going on.

Are you doing stand up now?

Loryn · 08-28-2008, 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveLightspeed

Let Me Steve All Over You

We recently just bought our dream home, but I thought the house was haunted. When I went to bed late one night, I heard a deep voice growling, ?GET OUT!? But it was just my wife. Whew!

My wife tries so hard to talk dirty during sex, but it just comes out in a blur of random dirty words, like ?Ohh, Yeah! Cock! Fuck! Cum! Lick! Pussy! Yeah Yeah Yeah!? I call it ?Pornstar Tourettes.?

I?ve been made to feel foolish too. I once paid $750 to go to the famous Playboy Mansion, only to stand around in the yard all night! I never even got NEAR the house. Now THAT is pimp! Nice work HEF! My new goal in life is to get some stupid asshole to pay $750 to stand around in MY yard.

Pornstar Tourettes that is hilarious. Well done Steve-on. Well done! You almost made me lose my milk with the tourettes.

And Shannon saying Get out. LOL That is funny!

I never thought about it before but I for sure want to have people pay to stand in my yard, fucking classic.

Loryn · 08-28-2008, 03:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Honez

Damn you Stee Rice-Pee! I am trying to be quiet while a shoot is going on.

Are you doing stand up now?

oh yea the Stee-Rice-Pee fucking rocks.

tony286 · 08-28-2008, 03:27 PM

"Closed the shop,sold the house bought a ticket to the west coast. Now he wows them with a standup routine in LA." Good stuff Steve, I did stand up in the late 80's when it all clicked it was the greatest high in the world.

Imortyl Pussycat · 08-28-2008, 03:29 PM

live performance at the next show is a must. someone make sure and capture it for youtube

kristin · 08-28-2008, 03:32 PM

While most of this was very Steve, this line was classic:
"Now THAT is pimp! Nice work HEF! My new goal in life is to get some stupid asshole to pay $750 to stand around in MY yard."

marketsmart · 08-28-2008, 03:42 PM

i would like to order a hooker with braces... do you have any....

VicD · 08-28-2008, 03:52 PM

too long to read, i hope you copied and pasted it...

Pete-KT · 08-28-2008, 04:04 PM

Steve that is funny i read the whole thing because it was interesting, good write up now lets trade some traffic

Tanker · 08-28-2008, 04:28 PM

hahah good stuff, Steve has lots of great comedy! I spent a few years traveling the world with him and I must say this is only the tip of the iceberg

sltr · 08-28-2008, 04:46 PM

steve is here all week folks, be sure to try the veal!

and don't forget to tip your waiter.

Sharky · 08-28-2008, 05:00 PM

hahah. Good one Steve...

But why the class? You were funny already.. funny looking!

Thank you! Good night everybody!

wyldblyss · 08-28-2008, 05:06 PM

Loved reading every word of it

Yes, some of us still remember how to do that hehe

SteveLightspeed · 08-28-2008, 05:41 PM

For those of you too lazy to read

Iron Fist · 08-28-2008, 05:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elli

"I hoped to meet Hugh Hefner in person, but I heard that he charges an extra $10k to make a personal appearance at the Playboy Mansion parties. Now THAT is ULTRA PIMP.

That is the ultimate in awesome.

seeric · 08-28-2008, 05:47 PM

I got Steve'd at the Phoenix Foursome last year.

I went to the phoenix foursome last year and all i got was this damn lightspeed jersey.

you'll be happy to know i make every naked girl in my house wear it as a nighty to sleep in.

god bless you dad.

Minte · 08-28-2008, 05:58 PM

Really funny!

This line was classic.

When I tell people I worked in the porn business, they immediately think I?m hanging out smoking cigars all day while horny naked girls lay around my pool waiting to have crazy sex with me. It?s really not like that. I don?t smoke CIGARS?

Z · 08-28-2008, 06:24 PM

That's some funny shit man.

When you coming back to Panamaaaaa?

P.S. You made me a Lightspeed jersey and then I never got it...by the by. WTF?

wtfent · 08-28-2008, 06:30 PM

fuzebox · 08-28-2008, 06:39 PM

The playboy mansion bit is so right on the money

Almost Evil · 08-28-2008, 08:33 PM

That was really funny

MaxCandy · 08-29-2008, 12:59 AM

So funny, i liked listening to it with the comp voice it adds something - dry wit

rayadp05 · 08-29-2008, 01:12 AM

Funny shit bro. Thx for the read.

WWC · 08-29-2008, 02:22 AM

wow....this is a chapter...i'll wait till i hit the john ;-) what were you smoking? lol

NinjaSteve · 08-29-2008, 02:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveLightspeed

For those of you too lazy to read

LOLZ!

Stephen McTowelie · 08-29-2008, 02:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Biggy

Steve Rice-Pee.

Great post steve real lol stuff

gimo33 · 08-29-2008, 03:10 AM

lol..... funny shit

Grizz · 08-29-2008, 03:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveLightspeed

For those of you too lazy to read

chemicaleyes · 08-29-2008, 03:42 AM

Funny stuff steve

08-28-2008, 02:49 PM	#1
SteveLightspeed Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Lightspeedworld Posts: 7,940	Let me Steve all over you... Let Me Steve All Over You Today is my last day of ?Comedy School?. I really appreciate everything the teacher taught me. But I don?t think he was happy when I brought a sixpack of beer to class. I told him, ?Hey, I?m not trying to disrespect you, but TWO HOURS is a long time to ask me to stay sober!? Sitting in the front row of class and getting hammered was one of the last few things on my bucket list. I?ve dreamt about it since Jr High. It turns out that he is a recovering alcoholic. I said ?Oh shit man, I?m sorry! I didn?t know.? I felt like an insensitive ass. So the next week I brought a bag of weed instead. He seemed better with that, so for graduation, I?m bringing an 8ball and three strippers! They say the average man thinks about sex once every seven seconds. I call those men ?amateurs?. I actually worked for 10 years as a filthy pornographer. Oops, did I say ?filthy pornographer?? I meant to say ?FASHION PHOTOGRAPHER?! Some people worry that producing porn in the US might get them unwanted attention from the government, the media, or radical religious groups. In fact, some people are so scared, they even hide the truth from their closest friends. But I for one am NOT AFRAID? to say that my name is John Doe, and I live at 123 Anystreet in Anytown USA! Actually, in the porn business, I am known as ?Steve Lightspeed?. Except in the Philippines, where they called me ?Stee Rice-Pee?. When I tell people I worked in the porn business, they immediately think I?m hanging out smoking cigars all day while horny naked girls lay around my pool waiting to have crazy sex with me. It?s really not like that. I don?t smoke CIGARS? People ask me all the time, did you fuck your models? Well, yeah, I put their naked pictures all over the internet. THEY ARE FUCKED! Actually, I never had sex with any of my models. There are good reasons I don?t have sex with 18 year old girls. Mostly, because they won?t LET me. Plus, a short dick, dirty underwear, and fear of AIDS keeps my pants ON. I?m really a fairly conservative guy. I?ve been married to my lovely wife Shannon for 15 years. She?s in charge. I call her ?Shanra, Princess of Power!? We recently just bought our dream home, but I thought the house was haunted. When I went to bed late one night, I heard a deep voice growling, ?GET OUT!? But it was just my wife. Whew! My wife tries so hard to talk dirty during sex, but it just comes out in a blur of random dirty words, like ?Ohh, Yeah! Cock! Fuck! Cum! Lick! Pussy! Yeah Yeah Yeah!? I call it ?Pornstar Tourettes.? Then she starts growling and making faces, ?GRRRR, ARRRRR, AHHHHHH!!!? I?m not sure if I should keep fucking her, or perform an exorcism! ?Say my name, SAY MY NAME!? ?Um, shanra?? My wife and I have so much in common; we frequently have the same thoughts at exactly the same time. For example, last night she said ?I think I?ll have a glass of wine.? I said ?That?s funny, I was just thinking about having a glass of wine, too.? Then she said ?Would you?d like to come to bed to fool around for a while?? I said ?That?s REALLY funny, I was just thinking about coming to bed to fool around for a while, too!? Then she said ?Give me a minute while I slip into my sexiest lingerie.? I said ?Holy shit, I was just thinking about slipping into your sexiest lingerie, TOO!? My wife and I also have two beautiful children. I remember when my wife was in hard labor with my son, she was so doped up I knew she wouldn?t remember the experience. So I grabbed my video camera, and asked her how she was feeling. She apparently thought she had won an Academy Award or something. She said, ?I?d like to thank the hospital, my doctor, the fantastic nurses, and my wonderful husband, um, er, um? oh yeah, STEVE! When my son was little, I think he picked up cursing from my wife. When he dropped his ice cream on the ground once, he shouted, ?FUCK!? I wanted to break him of that habit, so I told him that just earned him a 15 minute time out. He said ?I don?t want no FUCKING TIME OUT!? I didn?t really care about him cursing, I just wanted him to stop wasting all the fucking ice cream. So when he turned eight he got his first computer. After he learned a little about the internet, he innocently typed in his name followed by ?.com? just to see what would happen. He came running to me, saying ?Daddy, I think I just found an ?inappropriate website?. Well, it was a softcore website, inappropriate, yes, but nothing too obscene. It?s just a good thing we didn?t name him ?College Fuck Fest?! After that, I imagined the day when he is old enough that I will be able to show him the ropes of the porn biz. ?Ok, now SNORT THAT LINE, then FUCK THAT HOOKER!? That?s just a joke, don?t get upset. I?m just kidding. Everyone knows you can?t fuck hookers when you are coked out. In the porn business, I?ve met a lot of women who love sex. But mostly, I?ve met a lot of women who love to get paid to pretend to love sex. Sorry to say guys, but it?s just not real. Girls Gone Wild?? Yeah right! They should call that shit ?Strippers on Vacation?. I attended the big porn convention in Las Vegas. One night an ugly hooker came up to me and said, ?Do you need anything, Baby?? I said ?Oh yeah baby, I do need something!? She leaned in close, I whispered ?I need to know how to make an ugly hooker go away.? We like to mess with new people working on their first porn photo shoot. One time I sent a guy to the store just to buy batteries, whip cream, some video tape, condoms, and a ping pong paddle. He called from the supermarket saying ?They don?t carry ping pong paddles!? I told him, ?I?ve bought them there before, tell the manager to look in the dildo aisle.? I?ve been made to feel foolish too. I once paid $750 to go to the famous Playboy Mansion, only to stand around in the yard all night! I never even got NEAR the house. Now THAT is pimp! Nice work HEF! My new goal in life is to get some stupid asshole to pay $750 to stand around in MY yard. I hoped to meet Hugh Hefner in person, but I heard that he charges an extra $10k to make a personal appearance at the Playboy Mansion parties. Now THAT is ULTRA PIMP. That fucker actually lives there. He gets paid to hang out IN HIS OWN YARD? The biggest pimps on the internet now are the guys from Google. I love how ?Google? has now become an actual verb, like ?I Google?d your company?s name to get your phone number.? I?ve decided that my name should be a verb too. So ladies and gentleman, thank you for letting me Steve all over you. Now let me get you a towel.

08-28-2008, 02:50 PM	#2
MOxxx Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Atlanta,GA Posts: 3,022	sig spot, i will print what you said Steve and read it tonight __________________ Increase revenue and maximize your business potential by translating your website with a partner who truly understands your industry! For more information about X-Rated Translations visit https://www.xratedtranslations.com

08-28-2008, 02:54 PM	#4
MOxxx Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Atlanta,GA Posts: 3,022	I actually read it now, very funny. __________________ Increase revenue and maximize your business potential by translating your website with a partner who truly understands your industry! For more information about X-Rated Translations visit https://www.xratedtranslations.com

08-28-2008, 02:57 PM	#8
B2BwithJoeD Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: PayoutMag.com Posts: 1,390	Direct Debit for United Kingdom and Germany, plus Spain, Austria and Netherlands Let me Google CLASSIC LIGHTSPEED __________________ BLOG IT! How Will You Spend Your 2014 Profits? - PayoutMag.com Ask me About - Unique Processing and Marketing Solutions - Your Only Risk Is More Revenue!

08-28-2008, 02:59 PM	#9
CyberAgeGary Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 2,869	Great post Steve. Now when I come back from my holiday trip, I will read the other 75% of it.. The first 25% was great.... Anyways, have a good weekend... __________________ 13 solid years strong. http://www.CyberAge.com-http://www.CyberSexNetwork.com http://www.UGAS.com-http://www.NastyCash.com. Tri-Tech Internet Services. We are here for you! Email For Info

08-28-2008, 02:53 PM	#3
TurboAngel H.B.I.C. Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: NC Posts: 30,122	I'm not going to read all that, can ya just give me a link to the drama?

08-28-2008, 02:56 PM	#5
Marcus Aurelius No Refunds Issued. Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 14,809	I would have finished reading it but I got steve'd and some got in my eye so now I have to go buy visine.

08-28-2008, 02:57 PM	#6
Jon Clark - BANNED FOR LIFE North Coast Pimp Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: 304-534-757 Posts: 9,395	cliff notes...?

08-28-2008, 02:57 PM	#7
klaze So Fucking Banned Join Date: May 2008 Location: Adult Marketing Mecca Posts: 2,167	That was freakin awesome.

08-28-2008, 03:00 PM	#10
2012 So Fucking What Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 17,189	uck uck uck uck uck uck uck uck __________________ best host: Webair \| best sponsor: Kink \| best coder: 688218966 \| Go Fuck Yourself

08-28-2008, 03:04 PM	#11
Elli Reach for those stars! Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 17,991	"I hoped to meet Hugh Hefner in person, but I heard that he charges an extra $10k to make a personal appearance at the Playboy Mansion parties. Now THAT is ULTRA PIMP. That fucker actually lives there. He gets paid to hang out IN HIS OWN YARD?" Now that is a damn good point! How many people get paid to show up at their own house? __________________ Make More Money with Cams and Dating at FFN.com! email: [email protected]

08-28-2008, 03:05 PM	#12
pornguy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Homeless Posts: 62,911	Not bad Litesnack. Not bad. __________________ PornGuy skype me pornguy_epic AmateurDough The Hottes Shemales online! TChicks.com \| Angeles Cid \| Mariana Cordoba \| MAILERS WELCOME!

08-28-2008, 03:10 PM	#13
tranza ICQ: 197-556-237 Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: BRASIL !!! Posts: 57,559	Cliff notes??? __________________ I'm just a newbie.

08-28-2008, 03:12 PM	#14
Jon Clark - BANNED FOR LIFE North Coast Pimp Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: 304-534-757 Posts: 9,395	That is a great act, would love to see you do it in person...

08-28-2008, 03:12 PM	#15
Eriic So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2008 Posts: 2,995	It was not funny at all! It was nasty, stupid and by far the most ignorant Bullshit I ever read. You are a real piece of Shit!!!!

08-28-2008, 03:13 PM	#16
B O B Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Santa Ana, Costa Rica Posts: 2,664	Steve will be performing live at TheAtlantaForum hehehhehhee __________________ SoloConverts.com is now LIVE! 8 kick ass exclusive sites, weekly payouts, secure 3rd party billing, 60/40 revshare - PPS by request, tons of promo tools and much more! Sign up today at SoloConverts.com Contact me today for anything you need! [email protected] ICQ: 184807 Skype: bobbyrica

08-28-2008, 03:14 PM	#18
Rochard Jägermeister Test Pilot Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: NORCAL Posts: 73,190	That is a seriously funny...... I've always loved your sense of humor! __________________ “The choice is no longer between right or left. The choice is between normal and crazy.” - Sarah Huckabee Sanders YNOT MAIL \| THE BEST ADULT MAILING SOLUTION

08-28-2008, 03:16 PM	#20
Marcus Aurelius No Refunds Issued. Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 14,809	okay. I read it. pretty good Steve. when you hitting the club circuit?

08-28-2008, 03:23 PM	#22
Honez Confirmed Brat Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Colorado Springs, CO Posts: 6,636	Damn you Stee Rice-Pee! I am trying to be quiet while a shoot is going on. Are you doing stand up now? __________________ Your Paysite Partner Hone at YourPaysitePartner dot Com Skype - Stressmonkey

08-28-2008, 03:27 PM	#25
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	"Closed the shop,sold the house bought a ticket to the west coast. Now he wows them with a standup routine in LA." Good stuff Steve, I did stand up in the late 80's when it all clicked it was the greatest high in the world.

08-28-2008, 03:29 PM	#26
Imortyl Pussycat Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Cali Posts: 5,449	live performance at the next show is a must. someone make sure and capture it for youtube __________________ Julie Larson julie {at} juicyads.com skype: imortylpussycat Buy & Sell Ads on The Most Sexy Advertising Network on the Planet available ad spots \| sign up now

08-28-2008, 03:32 PM	#27
kristin GOO! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Back Home : ) Posts: 9,768	While most of this was very Steve, this line was classic: "Now THAT is pimp! Nice work HEF! My new goal in life is to get some stupid asshole to pay $750 to stand around in MY yard." __________________ Vacares rules. "Usually only fat guys have the kind of knowledge and ability that Kristin has."

08-28-2008, 03:42 PM	#28
marketsmart HOMICIDAL TROLL KILLER Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Sunnybrook Institution for the Criminally Insane Posts: 20,419	i would like to order a hooker with braces... do you have any....

08-28-2008, 03:52 PM	#29
VicD ICQ: 304-611-162 Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Masterdam Posts: 13,245	too long to read, i hope you copied and pasted it...

08-28-2008, 04:04 PM	#30
Pete-KT Workin With The Devil Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2004 Location: West Bloomfield, MI Posts: 51,532	Steve that is funny i read the whole thing because it was interesting, good write up now lets trade some traffic

08-28-2008, 04:28 PM	#31
Tanker Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Oakville, Ontario, Canada Posts: 9,287	hahah good stuff, Steve has lots of great comedy! I spent a few years traveling the world with him and I must say this is only the tip of the iceberg __________________ Tanker ICQ 3427575 CCBTools Now featured in the CCBill.com APP STORE

08-28-2008, 04:46 PM	#32
sltr Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 3,191	steve is here all week folks, be sure to try the veal! and don't forget to tip your waiter.

08-28-2008, 05:00 PM	#33
Sharky Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Tampa, FL Posts: 4,938	hahah. Good one Steve... But why the class? You were funny already.. funny looking! Thank you! Good night everybody! __________________ Sharky

08-28-2008, 05:06 PM	#34
wyldblyss Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The Buck Starts Here Posts: 5,779	Loved reading every word of it Yes, some of us still remember how to do that hehe

08-28-2008, 05:41 PM	#35
SteveLightspeed Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Lightspeedworld Posts: 7,940	For those of you too lazy to read __________________ Abra-cadabra!

08-28-2008, 05:47 PM	#37
seeric .......... Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: .......... Posts: 41,917	I got Steve'd at the Phoenix Foursome last year. I went to the phoenix foursome last year and all i got was this damn lightspeed jersey. you'll be happy to know i make every naked girl in my house wear it as a nighty to sleep in. god bless you dad.

08-28-2008, 05:58 PM	#38
Minte Babemeister Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Madison Posts: 7,081	Really funny! This line was classic. When I tell people I worked in the porn business, they immediately think I?m hanging out smoking cigars all day while horny naked girls lay around my pool waiting to have crazy sex with me. It?s really not like that. I don?t smoke CIGARS? __________________ You might not be as anonymous as you think you are.

08-28-2008, 06:24 PM	#39
Z Vidi Vici Veni Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 6,308	That's some funny shit man. When you coming back to Panamaaaaa? P.S. You made me a Lightspeed jersey and then I never got it...by the by. WTF?

08-28-2008, 06:30 PM	#40
wtfent Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: San Diego, Cali. baby!!! Posts: 3,790	__________________ ThisWillShockYou.com DVD Store - TWSY UNCENSORED ICQ# 194020367 E-mail: shockingbucks(AT)gmail.com Promote something different!! Shocking Bucks

08-28-2008, 06:39 PM	#41
fuzebox making it rain Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: seattle Posts: 22,032	The playboy mansion bit is so right on the money