Tgif (joke inside) - GoFuckYourself.com

brassmonkey · 11-13-2009, 07:49 AM

have a good weekend

There is this girl and her father walks into her bedroom and she's sitting there with a vibrator
in her hand. Her father says "jenny what the hell are you doing?!" and she says im 42 and i
live at home with my parents i have no life! So he walks out of the room with his head down.
The next day jenny go's to have a drink at the local pub orders a drink and see's her father.
drink in one hand and the vibrator in the other and jenny says "what the hell are you doing?!!"
and he says having a drink with my son in law.

martinsc · 11-13-2009, 07:57 AM

seeandsee · 11-13-2009, 08:09 AM

clif notes for stupids like me :D

CaptainHowdy · 11-13-2009, 08:30 AM

Aaaaaaaaaahahahahaha!

fatfoo · 11-13-2009, 08:54 AM

I don't get the joke.

brassmonkey · 11-13-2009, 09:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fatfoo

I don't get the joke.

canadians

tranza · 11-13-2009, 09:13 AM

Hahahaha...it is a nice one.

DVTimes · 11-13-2009, 09:25 AM

yes. nice joke. made me chuckle.

brassmonkey · 11-13-2009, 12:28 PM

laughing bump

AsianDivaGirlsWebDude · 11-13-2009, 12:34 PM

Good one...

A now, a little Friday the 13th joke:

A man bought a new Mercedes to celebrate his wife leaving him and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.

The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.

"There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.....Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over.

The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.

"It's been a long hard day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, I don't need the frustration or the overtime, so if you can give me a really good excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go."

The guy thinks about it for a second and says, "Last week my nagging wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!"

"Have a nice weekend," said the officer.

ADG

sex69 · 11-13-2009, 12:43 PM

The second joke is even better

Vick! · 11-13-2009, 12:58 PM

second one made me laugh lol .. first was ok.

Spieglergirls · 11-13-2009, 01:23 PM

What did the racist Nazi concentration camp commandant say to the black prisoner?

Hey, you! Get to the back of the oven!!

woj · 11-13-2009, 02:07 PM

brassmonkey · 11-13-2009, 02:07 PM

i like mine better

Spieglergirls · 11-18-2009, 06:10 PM

A Highway Patrol cop was sitting in his police car across the street from a bar at 1:30 in the morning when he saw a man come stumbling out the door. The man, obviously inebriated, began walking across the parking lot. On the way to his car he dropped his keys and had a hard time finding them. Finally, after finding them, he made it to his car, but then it took him a couple of minutes to unlock the door. Once he got into the car he passed out. The cop was still watching him as the bar closed and the rest of the patrons left.

A few minutes after the parking lot emptied the man came to, started up his car and began to drive away. The Highway Patrol cop pulled him over and arrested him for drunk driving.

After they get down to the police station the cop give the guy a blood alcohol test and the results come up 0.0%. So the cop asks the guy, "How is this possible" to which the guy replies - "Tonight, I was the Designated Decoy!"

brassmonkey · 11-18-2009, 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spieglergirls

A Highway Patrol cop was sitting in his police car across the street from a bar at 1:30 in the morning when he saw a man come stumbling out the door. The man, obviously inebriated, began walking across the parking lot. On the way to his car he dropped his keys and had a hard time finding them. Finally, after finding them, he made it to his car, but then it took him a couple of minutes to unlock the door. Once he got into the car he passed out. The cop was still watching him as the bar closed and the rest of the patrons left.

A few minutes after the parking lot emptied the man came to, started up his car and began to drive away. The Highway Patrol cop pulled him over and arrested him for drunk driving.

After they get down to the police station the cop give the guy a blood alcohol test and the results come up 0.0%. So the cop asks the guy, "How is this possible" to which the guy replies - "Tonight, I was the Designated Decoy!"

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

LoveSandra · 11-18-2009, 06:22 PM

hahahahahahahah

brassmonkey · 11-18-2009, 06:26 PM

more jokes! please

Spieglergirls · 11-19-2009, 12:32 PM

A Muslim guy on my street has doused himself in gasoline, set fire to himself and burnt to death. So now we're taking up a collection for his family.

So far, we've got 80 gallons!

brassmonkey · 11-19-2009, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spieglergirls

A Muslim guy on my street has doused himself in gasoline, set fire to himself and burnt to death. So now we're taking up a collection for his family.

So far, we've got 80 gallons!

hmm thats a racist joke klan meeting is friday

Jimmy Rock · 11-19-2009, 03:30 PM

very funny !

DudeRick · 11-19-2009, 04:07 PM

A drunken farmer throws open the door to his home and staggers in with a duck under his arm. His wife says... you worthless drunk, what do you think your doing. The drunken farmers says... This is the fat, ugly pig that I have been screwing for the last 10 years! His wife says you fucking drunk, thats not a pig, Its a duck! The drunken farmer says... I was talking to the duck!

barelist · 11-19-2009, 04:35 PM

nakeddutch · 11-19-2009, 05:56 PM

good one

pornpf69 · 11-19-2009, 06:35 PM

classic!!!

Ace_luffy · 11-19-2009, 06:38 PM

hahahha, nice try, mmmm

Spieglergirls · 11-19-2009, 11:57 PM

A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender "If I show you the most amazing thing you've ever seen, will you give me a free beer?" The bartender looks at him and says "Sure, but it better be good. I've seen a lot of amazing things." Upon hearing this the man opens up his coat and takes out a bag and out of the bag he pulls a small piano, a small stool and a Hamster. He sets them on the bar and the Hamster pulls the stool up to the piano and begins to play. The bartender says to the man "Hey, that is kind of amazing, but it's not the most amazing thing I've ever seen." The man tells the bartender to hold on a second and reaches once again into the bag. This time he pulls out a Bullfrog. He sets it down next to the piano and the Bullfrog begins to sing "Old Man River" accompanied by the Hamster. A customer sitting at the end of the bar says to the man "That's the most amazing thing I've ever seen!" He then offers to buy the Bullfrog from the man. The man sells the Bullfrog to the customer for $100 and the customer takes the Bullfrog and leaves. Seeing this the bartender says to the man "What the hell are you doing, you just sold a gold mine!" To which the man responds - "Don't worry about it, the Hamster . . . . . He's a ventriloquist!"

Spieglergirls · 11-20-2009, 07:18 PM

A defendant was on trial for murder. There was very strong evidence indicating guilt, but no corpse had been found. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, decided to try a trick. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom!" He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked, eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened. Finally, the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty." With that, the jury retired to deliberate. But after only a few minutes, they came back and pronounced a verdict of guilty. "But how?" the lawyer asked. "You must have had some doubt. I saw all of you stare at the door." "Oh, yes," the jury foreman replied. "We all looked ... but your client didn't!"

brassmonkey · 11-20-2009, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spieglergirls

A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender "If I show you the most amazing thing you've ever seen, will you give me a free beer?" The bartender looks at him and says "Sure, but it better be good. I've seen a lot of amazing things." Upon hearing this the man opens up his coat and takes out a bag and out of the bag he pulls a small piano, a small stool and a Hamster. He sets them on the bar and the Hamster pulls the stool up to the piano and begins to play. The bartender says to the man "Hey, that is kind of amazing, but it's not the most amazing thing I've ever seen." The man tells the bartender to hold on a second and reaches once again into the bag. This time he pulls out a Bullfrog. He sets it down next to the piano and the Bullfrog begins to sing "Old Man River" accompanied by the Hamster. A customer sitting at the end of the bar says to the man "That's the most amazing thing I've ever seen!" He then offers to buy the Bullfrog from the man. The man sells the Bullfrog to the customer for $100 and the customer takes the Bullfrog and leaves. Seeing this the bartender says to the man "What the hell are you doing, you just sold a gold mine!" To which the man responds - "Don't worry about it, the Hamster . . . . . He's a ventriloquist!"

Spieglergirls · 11-23-2009, 12:09 PM

Bump....

11-13-2009, 07:49 AM	#1
brassmonkey Pay It Forward Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Yo Mama House Posts: 76,946	Tgif (joke inside) have a good weekend There is this girl and her father walks into her bedroom and she's sitting there with a vibrator in her hand. Her father says "jenny what the hell are you doing?!" and she says im 42 and i live at home with my parents i have no life! So he walks out of the room with his head down. The next day jenny go's to have a drink at the local pub orders a drink and see's her father. drink in one hand and the vibrator in the other and jenny says "what the hell are you doing?!!" and he says having a drink with my son in law. __________________ TRUMP 2025 KEKAW!!! - Support The Laken Riley Act!!! END DACA - SUPPORT AZ HCR 2060 52R - email: brassballz-at-techie.com

11-13-2009, 07:57 AM	#2
martinsc Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: 127.0.0.1 Posts: 27,047	__________________ Make Money

11-13-2009, 08:09 AM	#3
seeandsee Check SIG! Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Europe (Skype: gojkoas) Posts: 50,945	clif notes for stupids like me :D __________________ BUY MY SIG - 50$/Year Contact here

11-13-2009, 08:30 AM	#4
CaptainHowdy Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Happy in the dark. Posts: 92,999	Aaaaaaaaaahahahahaha! __________________ FLASH SALE INSANITY! deal with a 100% Trusted Seller Buy Traffic Spots on a High-Quality Network 1 Year or Lifetime — That’s Right, Until the Internet Explodes!

11-13-2009, 08:54 AM	#5
fatfoo ICQ:649699063 Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Posts: 27,763	I don't get the joke. __________________ Send me an email: [email protected]

11-13-2009, 09:13 AM	#7
tranza ICQ: 197-556-237 Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: BRASIL !!! Posts: 57,559	Hahahaha...it is a nice one. __________________ I'm just a newbie.

11-13-2009, 09:25 AM	#8
DVTimes xxx Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: UK Posts: 31,544	yes. nice joke. made me chuckle. __________________ The Affiliate Program

11-13-2009, 12:28 PM	#9
brassmonkey Pay It Forward Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Yo Mama House Posts: 76,946	laughing bump __________________ TRUMP 2025 KEKAW!!! - Support The Laken Riley Act!!! END DACA - SUPPORT AZ HCR 2060 52R - email: brassballz-at-techie.com

11-13-2009, 12:34 PM	#10
AsianDivaGirlsWebDude Purveyor, Fine Asian Porn Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: San Francisco Bay Area Posts: 38,323	Good one... A now, a little Friday the 13th joke: A man bought a new Mercedes to celebrate his wife leaving him and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.....Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long hard day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, I don't need the frustration or the overtime, so if you can give me a really good excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go." The guy thinks about it for a second and says, "Last week my nagging wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!" "Have a nice weekend," said the officer. ADG __________________ Asian Diva Girls - Exclusive Photos and Videos Asian Diva Girls Affiliate Program (50% ccBill Revshare)

11-13-2009, 12:43 PM	#11
sex69 Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 671	The second joke is even better __________________ HotNiches.com-Add Site Porn Sites- Submit For Adult Sites-Add URL Adult Webcams Sex Webcams Erotic Search Reality Sex Sex Videos

11-13-2009, 12:58 PM	#12
Vick! Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: 20 00'24.00" N, 75 09'00.00 W Posts: 6,882	second one made me laugh lol .. first was ok. __________________ Affordable Quality Web Hosting

11-13-2009, 01:23 PM	#13
Spieglergirls Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Porn Valley, Ca. Posts: 476	What did the racist Nazi concentration camp commandant say to the black prisoner? Hey, you! Get to the back of the oven!! __________________ Mark Spiegler "Patron of the Tarts" http://www.spieglergirls.com/html/main.html

11-13-2009, 02:07 PM	#14
woj <&(©¿©)&> Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Chicago Posts: 47,882	__________________ Custom Software Development, email: woj#at#wojfun#.#com to discuss details or skype: wojl2000 or gchat: wojfun or telegram: wojl2000 Affiliate program tools: Hosted Galleries Manager Banner Manager Video Manager Wordpress Affiliate Plugin Pic/Movie of the Day Fansign Generator Zip Manager

11-13-2009, 02:07 PM	#15
brassmonkey Pay It Forward Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Yo Mama House Posts: 76,946	i like mine better __________________ TRUMP 2025 KEKAW!!! - Support The Laken Riley Act!!! END DACA - SUPPORT AZ HCR 2060 52R - email: brassballz-at-techie.com

11-18-2009, 06:10 PM	#16
Spieglergirls Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Porn Valley, Ca. Posts: 476	A Highway Patrol cop was sitting in his police car across the street from a bar at 1:30 in the morning when he saw a man come stumbling out the door. The man, obviously inebriated, began walking across the parking lot. On the way to his car he dropped his keys and had a hard time finding them. Finally, after finding them, he made it to his car, but then it took him a couple of minutes to unlock the door. Once he got into the car he passed out. The cop was still watching him as the bar closed and the rest of the patrons left. A few minutes after the parking lot emptied the man came to, started up his car and began to drive away. The Highway Patrol cop pulled him over and arrested him for drunk driving. After they get down to the police station the cop give the guy a blood alcohol test and the results come up 0.0%. So the cop asks the guy, "How is this possible" to which the guy replies - "Tonight, I was the Designated Decoy!" __________________ Mark Spiegler "Patron of the Tarts" http://www.spieglergirls.com/html/main.html

11-18-2009, 06:22 PM	#18
LoveSandra So Fucking Banned Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Just Blow Me Posts: 10,551	hahahahahahahah

11-18-2009, 06:26 PM	#19
brassmonkey Pay It Forward Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Yo Mama House Posts: 76,946	more jokes! please __________________ TRUMP 2025 KEKAW!!! - Support The Laken Riley Act!!! END DACA - SUPPORT AZ HCR 2060 52R - email: brassballz-at-techie.com

11-19-2009, 12:32 PM	#20
Spieglergirls Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Porn Valley, Ca. Posts: 476	A Muslim guy on my street has doused himself in gasoline, set fire to himself and burnt to death. So now we're taking up a collection for his family. So far, we've got 80 gallons! __________________ Mark Spiegler "Patron of the Tarts" http://www.spieglergirls.com/html/main.html

11-19-2009, 03:30 PM	#22
Jimmy Rock Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: West Hollywood Posts: 3,055	very funny ! __________________ Jimmy Rock \| ICQ: 285 748 329 [email protected]

11-19-2009, 04:07 PM	#23
DudeRick Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Tobacco Road Posts: 1,568	A drunken farmer throws open the door to his home and staggers in with a duck under his arm. His wife says... you worthless drunk, what do you think your doing. The drunken farmers says... This is the fat, ugly pig that I have been screwing for the last 10 years! His wife says you fucking drunk, thats not a pig, Its a duck! The drunken farmer says... I was talking to the duck!

11-19-2009, 04:35 PM	#24
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11-19-2009, 05:56 PM	#25
nakeddutch Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 7,999	good one __________________ CRYPTO PAY-PER-VIEW Crypto Gateway the music page Women in Kilts TGP Naughty Women in Kilts Lovense

11-19-2009, 06:35 PM	#26
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11-19-2009, 06:38 PM	#27
Ace_luffy www.creationcrew.com Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: CREATIONCREW.COM CREATIONCREW.COM CREATIONCREW.COM CREATIONCREW.COM CREATIONCREW.COM CREATIONCREW.COM Posts: 12,179	hahahha, nice try, mmmm __________________ ++ Adult and Mainstream Websites Designs \| 10 banners for only $50 \| html5 Banners ++ email : [email protected] Telegram : https://t.me/creationcrew \| HTML5/Responsive Site - Div/CSS - ElevatedX - NATs - Wordpress

11-19-2009, 11:57 PM	#28
Spieglergirls Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Porn Valley, Ca. Posts: 476	A guy walks into a bar and says to the bartender "If I show you the most amazing thing you've ever seen, will you give me a free beer?" The bartender looks at him and says "Sure, but it better be good. I've seen a lot of amazing things." Upon hearing this the man opens up his coat and takes out a bag and out of the bag he pulls a small piano, a small stool and a Hamster. He sets them on the bar and the Hamster pulls the stool up to the piano and begins to play. The bartender says to the man "Hey, that is kind of amazing, but it's not the most amazing thing I've ever seen." The man tells the bartender to hold on a second and reaches once again into the bag. This time he pulls out a Bullfrog. He sets it down next to the piano and the Bullfrog begins to sing "Old Man River" accompanied by the Hamster. A customer sitting at the end of the bar says to the man "That's the most amazing thing I've ever seen!" He then offers to buy the Bullfrog from the man. The man sells the Bullfrog to the customer for $100 and the customer takes the Bullfrog and leaves. Seeing this the bartender says to the man "What the hell are you doing, you just sold a gold mine!" To which the man responds - "Don't worry about it, the Hamster . . . . . He's a ventriloquist!" __________________ Mark Spiegler "Patron of the Tarts" http://www.spieglergirls.com/html/main.html

11-20-2009, 07:18 PM	#29
Spieglergirls Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Porn Valley, Ca. Posts: 476	A defendant was on trial for murder. There was very strong evidence indicating guilt, but no corpse had been found. In the defense's closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, decided to try a trick. "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all," the lawyer said as he looked at his watch. "Within one minute, the person presumed dead in this case will walk into this courtroom!" He looked toward the courtroom door. The jurors, somewhat stunned, all looked, eagerly. A minute passed. Nothing happened. Finally, the lawyer said, "Actually, I made up the previous statement. But you all looked on with anticipation. I therefore put it to you that there is reasonable doubt in this case as to whether anyone was killed and insist that you return a verdict of not guilty." With that, the jury retired to deliberate. But after only a few minutes, they came back and pronounced a verdict of guilty. "But how?" the lawyer asked. "You must have had some doubt. I saw all of you stare at the door." "Oh, yes," the jury foreman replied. "We all looked ... but your client didn't!" __________________ Mark Spiegler "Patron of the Tarts" http://www.spieglergirls.com/html/main.html

11-23-2009, 12:09 PM	#31
Spieglergirls Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Porn Valley, Ca. Posts: 476	Bump.... __________________ Mark Spiegler "Patron of the Tarts" http://www.spieglergirls.com/html/main.html