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Old 08-27-2021, 05:43 PM   #1
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Toilet paper is fucking barbaric

Why do we treat our assholes so poorly? If we got SHIT on ANY other part of our bodies, we would WASH it off with soap and water. But shit on our assholes? Hmm, let's just smear it around with some dry fucking paper! Makes no sense. If I got shit on my hands, I wouldn't just wipe it with dry paper towels, obviously.
I'm installing a bidet.
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Old 08-27-2021, 06:32 PM   #2
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Uhhh maybe try wet wipes?
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Old 08-27-2021, 06:45 PM   #3
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Already have a bidet and my asshole is just fine. It thanks me every day. Treat your ass right and it will follow you anywhere.
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Old 08-27-2021, 07:19 PM   #4
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True words. Will save paper and good for you asshole.
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Old 08-27-2021, 07:32 PM   #5
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I bought bidets for all toilets at the beginning of the pandemic. They are lovely.
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Old 08-27-2021, 08:22 PM   #6
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This one is only $120!!
https://hellotushy.com/products/warm...BoCzR0QAvD_BwE
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Old 08-27-2021, 10:35 PM   #7
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Pamper your ass with Quilton.
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Old 08-27-2021, 11:34 PM   #8
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Old 08-28-2021, 01:55 AM   #9
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Use the lavender/chamomile flavored toilet paper and you shall be fine. You dont have zewa deluxe in US?
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Old 08-28-2021, 01:58 AM   #10
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Smearing yourself with shit builds up character, just ask CS . . .
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Old 08-28-2021, 04:40 AM   #11
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bidet + TP is the only way
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Old 08-28-2021, 05:26 AM   #12
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Toilet paper is fucking barbaric
Amen brother! You are preaching to the converted here!

Forget toilet paper and simply go in your pants whenever the mood takes you... Think about all the trees that you are saving!

So: Save the Planet = Soil your Pants
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Old 08-28-2021, 09:37 AM   #13
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Toto Washelet for the win. Cleans anus and twat. Sweet.
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Old 08-28-2021, 01:48 PM   #14
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Comparing shit on hand to shit on asshole is a bit tricky because you don't eat with your asshole. In fact you don't do anything else other than produce shit and fart with that asshole. You may treat it nice with chamomile wet tissue or bidet and what not but in few hours there will be a stinky shit coming out of that hole once again....
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Old 08-28-2021, 03:08 PM   #15
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Comparing shit on hand to shit on asshole is a bit tricky because you don't eat with your asshole. In fact you don't do anything else other than produce shit and fart with that asshole. You may treat it nice with chamomile wet tissue or bidet and what not but in few hours there will be a stinky shit coming out of that hole once again....
Assholes have many uses other than just a tube for shits. It can be used for sex, suppositories, taking your temperature, hiding things, a pivot sleeve, and crowd control. Don't sell the anus short, without one, you would explode.
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Old 08-28-2021, 03:31 PM   #16
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Better snatch it all up before covid or some other pandemic strikes again.

And if you're just smearing it around then you're doing something seriously wrong.
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Old 08-28-2021, 05:19 PM   #17
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Comparing shit on hand to shit on asshole is a bit tricky because you don't eat with your asshole. In fact you don't do anything else other than produce shit and fart with that asshole. You may treat it nice with chamomile wet tissue or bidet and what not but in few hours there will be a stinky shit coming out of that hole once again....
These are fair points..

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Assholes have many uses other than just a tube for shits. It can be used for sex, suppositories, taking your temperature, hiding things, a pivot sleeve, and crowd control. Don't sell the anus short, without one, you would explode.
Also fair points!
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Old 08-28-2021, 07:25 PM   #18
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The toilet paper is terrible, the bidet is much better but nothing beats a nimble tongue that teases and excite the numerous nerves endings in an anus...

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Old 08-28-2021, 09:56 PM   #19
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The toilet paper is terrible, the bidet is much better but nothing beats a nimble tongue that teases and excite the numerous nerves endings in an anus...

Not many women will do that. Especially the extra quarter inch that makes it count
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Old 08-28-2021, 11:06 PM   #20
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Why do we treat our assholes so poorly? If we got SHIT on ANY other part of our bodies, we would WASH it off with soap and water. But shit on our assholes? Hmm, let's just smear it around with some dry fucking paper! Makes no sense. If I got shit on my hands, I wouldn't just wipe it with dry paper towels, obviously.
I'm installing a bidet.
I live in Russia. We are used to use the toilet paper before we can wash it off with water and soup. Here in my country we are used to wash off anything. Your face and hands when you enter a home. You must take off your shoes, because nobody knows which shit you were stepping at. If you are at your home, you must take off you jeans, because nobody knows where you were sitting at.

This is how it works here.

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Old 08-29-2021, 02:18 AM   #21
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I live in Russia. We are used to use the toilet paper before we can wash it off with water and soup. Here in my country we are used to wash off anything. Your face and hands when you enter a home. You must take off your shoes, because nobody knows which shit you were stepping at. If you are at your home, you must take off you jeans, because nobody knows where you were sitting at.

This is how it works here.

I't not just russia but the other european countries as well. For example, we have slippers for guests when they arrive. But it's not always enforced, depending on length how long guest stay.
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Old 08-29-2021, 03:49 AM   #22
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I live in Russia. We are used to use the toilet paper before we can wash it off with water and soup.
Do you eat that soup afterwards?

I bet CS would love it
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Old 08-29-2021, 12:26 PM   #23
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Overall, use a bidet and the take a small piece of toilet paper to check if your asshole is squeaky clean.
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Old 08-29-2021, 12:39 PM   #24
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we always have bidet in Spain, in Spain, it´s a normal thing to have in your bathroom...

although, growing up, we had bidets in England also!


I wipe my ass with paper and use the bidet to wash
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Old 08-29-2021, 01:48 PM   #25
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just buy bidets and forget about paper!
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Old 08-29-2021, 02:22 PM   #26
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Old 08-29-2021, 02:44 PM   #27
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Anyway you look at it, a clean ass is a happy ass.
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Old 08-29-2021, 08:10 PM   #28
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Anyway you look at it, a clean ass is a happy ass.
But even when the asshole is shiny, farts still stink...
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Old 08-29-2021, 11:26 PM   #29
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Old 08-30-2021, 02:02 AM   #30
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We need more threads like this on here...

fap fap fap...
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Old 08-30-2021, 06:18 AM   #31
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I bought bidets for all toilets at the beginning of the pandemic. They are lovely.
What % of toilet paper do you now use compared to pre-bidet times?
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Old 08-30-2021, 07:39 AM   #32
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I have used baby wipes for 30 years.

My tushy deserves it.
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Old 08-30-2021, 07:50 AM   #33
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But even when the asshole is shiny, farts still stink...
A tampon stuffed right up the butt will filter most farts. You can substitute a cigar for a Miami filter or potato for an Idaho filter. These are just solutions for a perceived problem. A good fart is a social warning system. Useful in subways, theaters, and other crowded venues where you need to increase your personal space immediately.
Then there is the balloon fart that activates after you have left the area, but perhaps I'm going too far with this...

Please stop me!
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Old 08-30-2021, 07:52 AM   #34
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I have used baby wipes for 30 years.

My tushy deserves it.
Doesn’t clog your toilet/sewer system?
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Old 08-30-2021, 09:28 AM   #35
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there is one good thing about toilet paper, should you choose to use it..

After wiping you can press it directly over your mouth and nose, enabling you to 'huff' it in deeply...
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Old 08-30-2021, 11:24 AM   #36
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We need more threads like this on here...

fap fap fap...
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Old 08-30-2021, 11:56 AM   #37
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He doesn't know how to use the seashells.
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Old 08-30-2021, 12:23 PM   #38
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If you got shit on your hands, would you just wipe them on some toilet paper and go about your day?
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Old 08-30-2021, 12:43 PM   #39
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He doesn't know how to use the seashells.


Lulz....
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Old 08-30-2021, 11:51 PM   #40
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Why do we treat our assholes so poorly? If we got SHIT on ANY other part of our bodies, we would WASH it off with soap and water. But shit on our assholes? Hmm, let's just smear it around with some dry fucking paper! Makes no sense. If I got shit on my hands, I wouldn't just wipe it with dry paper towels, obviously.
I'm installing a bidet.
Just use Shittens https://www.sadanduseless.com/shittens/
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Old 08-31-2021, 12:35 AM   #41
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Recommended brands?
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Old 08-31-2021, 12:58 AM   #42
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Use the lavender/chamomile flavored toilet paper and you shall be fine. You dont have zewa deluxe in US?
Edible toilet paper?
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Old 08-31-2021, 10:57 AM   #43
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Old 08-31-2021, 12:11 PM   #44
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Toto is the best.

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Old 08-31-2021, 12:23 PM   #45
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Old 09-05-2021, 01:32 PM   #46
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there is one good thing about toilet paper, should you choose to use it..

After wiping you can press it directly over your mouth and nose, enabling you to 'huff' it in deeply...
Haha, dang CS I love your "poetry"
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Old 09-05-2021, 01:55 PM   #47
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Haha, dang CS I love your "pooetry"
Hope you dont mind me correcting your spelling...
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Old 09-05-2021, 08:11 PM   #48
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When I'm morose, I use this toilet paper to give myself the illusion of being rich.

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Old 09-08-2021, 01:23 AM   #49
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Hope you dont mind me correcting your spelling...
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Old 09-10-2021, 09:46 AM   #50
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