Pluginfeeds.com Reality Content Promotion Giving Away Over $2,500 - Page 52 - GoFuckYourself.com

Trixxxia · 08-04-2004, 09:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tala
Holy fuck, I remember those days. I wish I had the forethought back then to snag some decent domains.

Yup, you're not the only one kicking themselves in the behind!

BTW - nice collection of smilies - how long have you been collecting? What's the resale value?

Do you have insurance?

cool1 · 08-04-2004, 09:40 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Topbuxom Lee
Good Morning Everyone!
Thanks for hanging in there and keeping the thread alive.
Who is going to be the big winner?

Post away!

goodday Lee

I was thinking the big winner would be me ..

Tala · 08-04-2004, 09:41 AM

Tala · 08-04-2004, 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by TopBucksTrixxxia
Yup, you're not the only one kicking themselves in the behind!

BTW - nice collection of smilies - how long have you been collecting? What's the resale value? Do you have insurance?

I've been collecting for about three years. There is no resale value, but if you want the .zip file, I'll send that to you at no extra charge. Yes I have insurance but only health/mental. The mental part is good for threads like this.

Tala · 08-04-2004, 09:45 AM

Let a smile be your umbrella and your ass will get soaking wet.

Tala · 08-04-2004, 09:47 AM

Remember, steak and a blowjob day is the day for the ladies to really let their men know how much they're loved and appreciated. And only the cost of the steak!

Topbuxom Lea · 08-04-2004, 09:47 AM

Gooday Coolone and Tala!

Got your can of Red Bull at hand?

Let's put the pedal to the metal!

Tala · 08-04-2004, 09:48 AM

Fun times!

Tala · 08-04-2004, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Topbuxom Lee
Gooday Coolone and Tala!

Got your can of Red Bull at hand?

Let's put the pedal to the metal!

Yanno, to me, RedBull tastes like cough syrup.

Tala · 08-04-2004, 09:57 AM

Trixxxia · 08-04-2004, 09:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tala
I've been collecting for about three years. There is no resale value, but if you want the .zip file, I'll send that to you at no extra charge. Yes I have insurance but only health/mental. The mental part is good for threads like this.

Sure - I'd love your zip

trixxxia (at) topbucks.com

riosluts · 08-04-2004, 09:59 AM

whoa this is really one great contest

cool1 · 08-04-2004, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Topbuxom Lee
Gooday Coolone and Tala!

Got your can of Red Bull at hand?

Let's put the pedal to the metal!

No Red Bull
But I do have a big fat doobie in my hand and am ready to rock.
We got to get this thread to 5000 fast.

cool1 · 08-04-2004, 10:00 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tala

Ah my kind of smilie

Tala · 08-04-2004, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by TopBucksTrixxxia
Sure - I'd love your zip

trixxxia (at) topbucks.com

Gimme a bit. I have foty things happening here all at once, not including the posting in this thread.

Tala · 08-04-2004, 10:05 AM

Tala · 08-04-2004, 10:12 AM

Trixxx, you have mail.

Tala · 08-04-2004, 10:13 AM

This is me.

Tala · 08-04-2004, 10:14 AM

Blame Canada!!

Tala · 08-04-2004, 10:15 AM

Tala · 08-04-2004, 10:15 AM

Tala · 08-04-2004, 10:25 AM

Tala · 08-04-2004, 10:26 AM

AGF · 08-04-2004, 10:27 AM

lalalalalalalalala winning
lalalalalalalalala money
lalalalalalalalala sex
lalalalalalalalala hmm

Tala · 08-04-2004, 10:27 AM

Tala · 08-04-2004, 10:28 AM

This is my husband. Poor dude is sick. If he makes me sick before Internext, I'm going to kill him.

cool1 · 08-04-2004, 10:29 AM

For those who have never traveled to the great west, cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings on highways to prevent cattle from crossing.

For some reason the bovines will not step on the guards, probably because they fear getting their feet caught between the rails.

So, one day President Bush received a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado on government lands.

Because Colorado ranchers protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, he ordered Secretary of Interior Gale Norton to fire half of the guards immediately.

Before Norton could respond, and presumably straighten him out, Colorado's congresswoman Diana DeGette intervened with a request that before any of the guards were fired they be given six months of retraining.

Tala · 08-04-2004, 10:33 AM

Tala · 08-04-2004, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by coolone
For those who have never traveled to the great west, cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings on highways to prevent cattle from crossing.

For some reason the bovines will not step on the guards, probably because they fear getting their feet caught between the rails.

So, one day President Bush received a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado on government lands.

Because Colorado ranchers protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, he ordered Secretary of Interior Gale Norton to fire half of the guards immediately.

Before Norton could respond, and presumably straighten him out, Colorado's congresswoman Diana DeGette intervened with a request that before any of the guards were fired they be given six months of retraining.

Tala · 08-04-2004, 10:35 AM

Fuck I'm only to the c's. I have a lot of fuckin smilies.

Tala · 08-04-2004, 10:36 AM

cool1 · 08-04-2004, 10:37 AM

Solving the Problem

According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance guy to clean one of the mirrors.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet and then cleaned the mirror.

Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

Tala · 08-04-2004, 10:37 AM

cool1 · 08-04-2004, 10:38 AM

Real Answering Machine Messages

"My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished."

"A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. Leave a message."

"Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money."

"You have the right to remain silent. But everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us."

"Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."

cool1 · 08-04-2004, 10:39 AM

Plane Problems

My flight at a busy airport was delayed due to a mechanical problem. Since they needed the gate for another flight, the aircraft was backed away from the gate while the maintenance crew worked on it.

We were then told a new gate number, which was some distance away. Everyone moved to the new gate, only to find that a third gate had been designated for us.

After some further shuffling, everyone got on board, and as we were settling in, the flight attendant made the standard announcement, "We apologize for the inconvenience of this last-minute gate change. This flight is going to Washington, D.C. If your destination is not Washington, D.C., then you should 'deplane' at this time."

A very confused-looking and red-faced pilot emerged from the cockpit, carrying his bags. "Sorry," he said, "wrong plane."

cool1 · 08-04-2004, 10:41 AM

This one really cracks me up

Two computer geeks were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The first computer geek replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes, and said, 'Take what you want.' "

The second computer geek nodded approvingly, "Good choice -- the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

Tala · 08-04-2004, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by coolone
Solving the Problem

According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance guy to clean one of the mirrors.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet and then cleaned the mirror.

Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

Old but still hilarious.

cool1 · 08-04-2004, 10:42 AM

Some are old but who says all blondes are dumb

A blonde, brunette, and redhead went to a church to donate money.

The brunette draws a circle around her and throws up all her money.

She says that whatever lands inside the circle is for God, and whatever lands outside of the circle she keeps.

The redhead then draws a line, stands on it, and throws up all of her money. She said that whatever lands on the right side of the line is for God, and whatever lands on the left side she keeps.

The blonde throws up her money, and yells,"God, whatever you catch is yours, and whatever you don't I get to keep

cool1 · 08-04-2004, 10:43 AM

A doctor recently had a patient drop in on him for an unscheduled appointment. "What can I do for you today?" the doctor asked. The older gentleman replied, "Doctor, you must help me. Every time I make love to my wife, my eyes get all bleary, my legs go weak, and I can hardly catch my breath. Doc, I'm scared!" The doctor, looking at his 86-year-old patient, said, "These sensations tend to happen over time, especially to a man of your advanced years, but tell me, when did you first notice these symptoms?" The old guy's response was, "Well, three times last night, and twice again this morning!"

I wish I got it as much as this old guy did.

cool1 · 08-04-2004, 10:44 AM

My Dog Named SEX

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot".

I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex.

He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!"

He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old."

He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy."

When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding.

He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex."

He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding.

The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex.

He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night."

The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets.

"You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married."

The Judge said, "Me too!" Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning.

I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday. Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw.

Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so get yourself a dog."

Tala · 08-04-2004, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by coolone
Real Answering Machine Messages

"My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished."

"A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. Leave a message."

"Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money."

"You have the right to remain silent. But everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us."

"Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."

NICE>

My personal favorite:

"Hi, this is John's answering machine and you know how it works."

Response left on the machine:

"Hi John, this is the IRS and you know how we work."

Doctor Dre · 08-04-2004, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by coolone
No Red Bull
But I do have a big fat doobie in my hand and am ready to rock.
We got to get this thread to 5000 fast.

I've never drank any redbull before ... wonder how it tastes like

Tala · 08-04-2004, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by coolone
Plane Problems

My flight at a busy airport was delayed due to a mechanical problem. Since they needed the gate for another flight, the aircraft was backed away from the gate while the maintenance crew worked on it.

We were then told a new gate number, which was some distance away. Everyone moved to the new gate, only to find that a third gate had been designated for us.

After some further shuffling, everyone got on board, and as we were settling in, the flight attendant made the standard announcement, "We apologize for the inconvenience of this last-minute gate change. This flight is going to Washington, D.C. If your destination is not Washington, D.C., then you should 'deplane' at this time."

A very confused-looking and red-faced pilot emerged from the cockpit, carrying his bags. "Sorry," he said, "wrong plane."

Tala · 08-04-2004, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by coolone
This one really cracks me up

Two computer geeks were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The first computer geek replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes, and said, 'Take what you want.' "

The second computer geek nodded approvingly, "Good choice -- the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

cool1 · 08-04-2004, 10:48 AM

Another old but funny one

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.

A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted

cool1 · 08-04-2004, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Doctor Dre
I've never drank any redbull before ... wonder how it tastes like

To me it tastes like a mild cough syrup.
actually taste pretty good. but I still don't feel much effect off it.
would rather smoke a joint.

cool1 · 08-04-2004, 10:52 AM

A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is exhausted all the time. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor gets around to asking her how often she has intercourse.
"Every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday," she says.
The doctor advises her to cut out Wednesday.
"I can't," says the woman. "That's the only night I'm home with my husband."

Tala · 08-04-2004, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by coolone
My Dog Named SEX

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot".

I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex.

He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!"

He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old."

He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy."

When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding.

He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex."

He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding.

The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex.

He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night."

The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets.

"You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married."

The Judge said, "Me too!" Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning.

I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday. Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw.

Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so get yourself a dog."

cool1 · 08-04-2004, 10:53 AM

Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily functions.
The 70 year old man says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee."
The 80 year old man says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement."
The 90 year old man says, "At seven I pee like a horse, and at eight I crap like a cow."
"So what's your problem?" ask the others.
"I don't wake up until nine!"

cool1 · 08-04-2004, 10:54 AM

A guy walks into a doctor's office and stutters, "Da-da-doc, I've ba-ba-been sta-sta-stuttering for ye-ye-years, and I ca-ca-can't stand it anymo-mo-more! Can you he-he-help me?"
The doctor answers "Well, I'll have to give you a thorough examination first, but in some cases there is a cure." So the doctor puts the guy through a battery of tests, and says, "I think I know what's causing your stuttering."
The guy excitedly asks, "Well, wa-wa-what is it, da- da-doctor?"
"It's your penis. I know that sounds crazy, but you have an unusually large penis - it's almost two feet long. It seems the weight is putting a strain on your vocal cords which most men never have to deal with."
The guy asks, "Wa-wa-what can we da-da-do?"
"Well, we could remove it and transplant a shorter one."
"Do it!" the guy replies. So they go through the operation, and three weeks later the guy comes in for a follow up appointment.
He says, "Doc, you solved my stuttering problem. I don't know how to thank you. But I've only had sex once in three weeks - my wife just doesn't like it anymore with my new, shorter penis. I've thought about it, and I decided I can put up with the stuttering easier than going without the sex - I want you to put my long one back on."
The doctor says, "No-no-nope. A da-da-deal's a da-da- deal!"

08-04-2004, 09:41 AM	#2553
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	__________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

08-04-2004, 09:45 AM	#2555
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	Let a smile be your umbrella and your ass will get soaking wet. __________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

08-04-2004, 09:47 AM	#2556
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	Remember, steak and a blowjob day is the day for the ladies to really let their men know how much they're loved and appreciated. And only the cost of the steak! __________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

08-04-2004, 09:47 AM	#2557
Topbuxom Lea Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 1,313	Gooday Coolone and Tala! Got your can of Red Bull at hand? Let's put the pedal to the metal! __________________ Lea Marketing Miglet ICQ: 263003699 Topbucks/Pluginfeeds Twitter: @porntechgeek @TopBucksmobile @pinkvisual Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/imalespectrum

08-04-2004, 09:48 AM	#2558
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	Fun times! __________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

08-04-2004, 09:57 AM	#2560
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	__________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

08-04-2004, 09:59 AM	#2562
riosluts Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 5,250	whoa this is really one great contest __________________

08-04-2004, 10:05 AM	#2566
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	__________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

08-04-2004, 10:12 AM	#2567
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	Trixxx, you have mail. __________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

08-04-2004, 10:13 AM	#2568
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	This is me. __________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

08-04-2004, 10:14 AM	#2569
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	Blame Canada!! __________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

08-04-2004, 10:15 AM	#2570
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	__________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

08-04-2004, 10:15 AM	#2571
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	__________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

08-04-2004, 10:25 AM	#2572
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	__________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

08-04-2004, 10:26 AM	#2573
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	__________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

08-04-2004, 10:27 AM	#2574
AGF Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 971	lalalalalalalalala winning lalalalalalalalala money lalalalalalalalala sex lalalalalalalalala hmm __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

08-04-2004, 10:27 AM	#2575
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	__________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

08-04-2004, 10:28 AM	#2576
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	This is my husband. Poor dude is sick. If he makes me sick before Internext, I'm going to kill him. __________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

08-04-2004, 10:29 AM	#2577
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	For those who have never traveled to the great west, cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings on highways to prevent cattle from crossing. For some reason the bovines will not step on the guards, probably because they fear getting their feet caught between the rails. So, one day President Bush received a report that there were over 100,000 cattle guards in Colorado on government lands. Because Colorado ranchers protested his proposed changes in grazing policies, he ordered Secretary of Interior Gale Norton to fire half of the guards immediately. Before Norton could respond, and presumably straighten him out, Colorado's congresswoman Diana DeGette intervened with a request that before any of the guards were fired they be given six months of retraining. __________________

08-04-2004, 10:33 AM	#2578
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	__________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

08-04-2004, 10:35 AM	#2580
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	Fuck I'm only to the c's. I have a lot of fuckin smilies. __________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

08-04-2004, 10:36 AM	#2581
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	__________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

08-04-2004, 10:37 AM	#2582
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	Solving the Problem According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night. To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance guy to clean one of the mirrors. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet and then cleaned the mirror. Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror. __________________

08-04-2004, 10:37 AM	#2583
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	__________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

08-04-2004, 10:38 AM	#2584
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	Real Answering Machine Messages "My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished." "A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. Leave a message." "Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money." "You have the right to remain silent. But everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us." "Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you." __________________

08-04-2004, 10:39 AM	#2585
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	Plane Problems My flight at a busy airport was delayed due to a mechanical problem. Since they needed the gate for another flight, the aircraft was backed away from the gate while the maintenance crew worked on it. We were then told a new gate number, which was some distance away. Everyone moved to the new gate, only to find that a third gate had been designated for us. After some further shuffling, everyone got on board, and as we were settling in, the flight attendant made the standard announcement, "We apologize for the inconvenience of this last-minute gate change. This flight is going to Washington, D.C. If your destination is not Washington, D.C., then you should 'deplane' at this time." A very confused-looking and red-faced pilot emerged from the cockpit, carrying his bags. "Sorry," he said, "wrong plane." __________________

08-04-2004, 10:41 AM	#2586
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	This one really cracks me up Two computer geeks were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The first computer geek replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes, and said, 'Take what you want.' " The second computer geek nodded approvingly, "Good choice -- the clothes probably wouldn't have fit." __________________

08-04-2004, 10:42 AM	#2588
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	Some are old but who says all blondes are dumb A blonde, brunette, and redhead went to a church to donate money. The brunette draws a circle around her and throws up all her money. She says that whatever lands inside the circle is for God, and whatever lands outside of the circle she keeps. The redhead then draws a line, stands on it, and throws up all of her money. She said that whatever lands on the right side of the line is for God, and whatever lands on the left side she keeps. The blonde throws up her money, and yells,"God, whatever you catch is yours, and whatever you don't I get to keep __________________

08-04-2004, 10:43 AM	#2589
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	A doctor recently had a patient drop in on him for an unscheduled appointment. "What can I do for you today?" the doctor asked. The older gentleman replied, "Doctor, you must help me. Every time I make love to my wife, my eyes get all bleary, my legs go weak, and I can hardly catch my breath. Doc, I'm scared!" The doctor, looking at his 86-year-old patient, said, "These sensations tend to happen over time, especially to a man of your advanced years, but tell me, when did you first notice these symptoms?" The old guy's response was, "Well, three times last night, and twice again this morning!" I wish I got it as much as this old guy did. __________________

08-04-2004, 10:44 AM	#2590
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	My Dog Named SEX Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand. ... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on. When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!" One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off. When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!" Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." -- My case comes up next Thursday. Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so get yourself a dog." __________________

08-04-2004, 10:48 AM	#2595
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	Another old but funny one Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep. A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted __________________

08-04-2004, 10:52 AM	#2597
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	A woman goes to her doctor complaining that she is exhausted all the time. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor gets around to asking her how often she has intercourse. "Every Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday," she says. The doctor advises her to cut out Wednesday. "I can't," says the woman. "That's the only night I'm home with my husband." __________________

08-04-2004, 10:53 AM	#2599
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and bodily functions. The 70 year old man says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee." The 80 year old man says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement." The 90 year old man says, "At seven I pee like a horse, and at eight I crap like a cow." "So what's your problem?" ask the others. "I don't wake up until nine!" __________________

08-04-2004, 10:54 AM	#2600
cool1 sex is good Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Carman, MB Canada Posts: 24,939	A guy walks into a doctor's office and stutters, "Da-da-doc, I've ba-ba-been sta-sta-stuttering for ye-ye-years, and I ca-ca-can't stand it anymo-mo-more! Can you he-he-help me?" The doctor answers "Well, I'll have to give you a thorough examination first, but in some cases there is a cure." So the doctor puts the guy through a battery of tests, and says, "I think I know what's causing your stuttering." The guy excitedly asks, "Well, wa-wa-what is it, da- da-doctor?" "It's your penis. I know that sounds crazy, but you have an unusually large penis - it's almost two feet long. It seems the weight is putting a strain on your vocal cords which most men never have to deal with." The guy asks, "Wa-wa-what can we da-da-do?" "Well, we could remove it and transplant a shorter one." "Do it!" the guy replies. So they go through the operation, and three weeks later the guy comes in for a follow up appointment. He says, "Doc, you solved my stuttering problem. I don't know how to thank you. But I've only had sex once in three weeks - my wife just doesn't like it anymore with my new, shorter penis. I've thought about it, and I decided I can put up with the stuttering easier than going without the sex - I want you to put my long one back on." The doctor says, "No-no-nope. A da-da-deal's a da-da- deal!" __________________