born4porn

Confucius Say
Prisoners complain behind bars, husbands complain in them.

cool1

Its a new day

I thought you all would have got thi to 3500 by the time I got up.

Oh well lets get it finished.
It shouldn't take long

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born4porn

Confucius Say
The difference between a dog and a fox is about five drinks.

pornpf69

hi there born4porn

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pornpf69

Doctor Nick say:

hi everybody

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pornpf69

and everybody say:

hi doctor nick!

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pornpf69

I love The Simpsons

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cool1

Hi pf

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born4porn

Confucius Say
Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.

born4porn

Confucius Say
Vitamins are good for what ails you. Viagra is good for what fails you.

born4porn

Confucius Say
A clean tie will attract the soup of the day.

born4porn

Confucius Say
A friend is someone who thinks you're a good egg even though you're slightly cracked.

pornpf69

hi there colone!

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cool1

how Canada got its name:

When J. MacDonald and Friends were trying to figure out the name of this greatplace, someone had a great idea.
Let's stick all the letters into a hat and draw 3 of them - That will be the new name of this place..
So they did so..
1st letter is pulled and the guy shouts - "C" eh!?
2nd letter is pulled and the guy shouts - "N" eh!?
3rd letter is pulled and the guy shouts - "D" eh!?

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cool1

So how are you?

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cool1

Signs -- Lost in the Translation

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
The lift is being fixed for the day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

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AGF

Homer: Stop being such babies. You can't be afraid to try new things. For instance, tonight I'm using a... Apu, what do you call this thing again?

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coolfuck

so who won?

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cool1

In a Belgrade elevator:
To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

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OzMan84

born4porn using bot?

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AGF

Apu: (near the top of a mountain) There she is: the world's first convenience store!
Homer: This isn't very convenient.
Apu: Must you dump on everything we do?

Master: You may ask me three questions.
Apu: That's great, because all I need is one.
Homer: (interrupting) Are you really the head of the Kwik-E-Mart?
Master: Yes.
Homer: Really?
Master: Yes.
Homer: You?
Master: Yes. I hope this has been enlightening for you.

Homer: Apu, if it'll make you feel any better, I've learned that life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead.

Apu: Oh, the searing kiss of hot lead, how I've missed you! I mean, I think I'm dying.

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cool1

In a Paris hotel elevator:
Please leave your values at the front desk.

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cool1

In a hotel in Athens:
Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 & 11 am daily.

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cool1

In a Yugoslavian hotel:
The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid

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OzMan84

Confucius Says:

Man who stand on toilet high on pot.

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cool1

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian orthodox Monastery:
You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

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cool1

On a menu of a Polish hotel:
Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beer soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

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OzMan84

Confucius Says:

Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time.

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cool1

In a Tokyo hotel:
Please take advantage of the chambermaids.

In a Hong Kong supermarket:
For your convenience we recommend courteous, efficient self-service

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pornpf69

confucious say a lot of things...

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cool1

In a Hong Kong dress shop:
Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

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OzMan84

People who make Confucius joke speak bad English.

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cool1

From the Soviet weekly:
There will be a Moscow Exhibition of the Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

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pornpf69

I am fine and you?

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OzMan84

how many posts we got now?

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cool1

In a Vienna hotel:
In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the porter.

In Germany's Black Forest:
It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men & women, live together in one tent unless they are married for that purpose.

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cool1

Doing ok

I heard you won some cash at the pond, good stuff

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OzMan84

pornpf69, im good thankyou, how are you

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cool1

In the window of a Swedish furrier:
Fur coats made for the ladies from their own skin.

On a box of a clockwork toy in Hong Kong:
Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life

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cool1

Detour sign in Kyushu, Japan:
Stop---Drive sideways.

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cool1

Swiss mountain inn:
Special today--no ice cream.

Copenhagen airline ticket office:
We take your bags and send them in all directions

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Trixxxia

Good morning GFY - how's this thread going?

coolone, looking forward to your jokes & thoughts

OzMan84

its 12:57 on the rocket clock

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cool1

we are at post 2892, so there is 608 post left until the 3500 post prize

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Michael O

Working hard to get it to the next prize

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Truth Teller

OzMan84

good morning TopBucks, this thread is going fine i guess, but i will be in bed and miss out on the next cash prize i think

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cool1

Thanks
I have lots left to post to help get this thread to 5000.

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OzMan84

1:01am now

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cool1

More Signs -- Lost in the Translation


Moscow hotel room:
If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.

Norwegian cocktail lounge:
Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

Budapest zoo:
Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

A notice in a Japanese hotel (ca. 1950):
Please not to steal towels. If you are not person to do such, please not to read notice.

Office of a Roman doctor:
Specialist in women and other diseases.

Acapulco hotel:
The manager has personally passed all the water served here.

Tokyo shop:
Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find that they are best in the long run.

Japanese instructions on an air conditioner:
Cooles & Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

Car rental brochure in Tokyo:
When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
English well talking. Here speeching American.

A sign on the lion cage at a zoo in the Czech Republic:
No smoothen the lion

A Finnish hotel's instructions in case of fire:
If you are unable to leave your room, expose yourself in the window.

In a Japanese restaurant (ca. 1950):
We reserve the right to serve refuse to anyone

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OzMan84

good nite everyone

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